Hell's Kitchen, Season 3

Gordon:
And whose dish is that?

Vinnie:
It's mine chef.

Gordon:
What is the dish?

Vinnie:
It is chorizo-encrusted pink snapper.

Gordon:
Where in the fuck's the snapper?

Vinnie:
It's underneath.

Gordon:
That's the snapper there?

Vinnie:
Yes sir.

Gordon:
Okay. [tastes] God, fuck. Do you think you can really seriously eat that without burning your mouth? What a disappointment.

Vinnie:
I don't think so.

Gordon:
Now you want to fucking argue. Back in line.

Vinnie:
Yes, chef. (interview) I think he looked at me and said "This guy's really confident." and I think I intimidated him.

Gordon:
What a fucking jerk.

Gordon:
Whose is this?

Josh:
(interview) Food is sex and everybody likes sex and everybody likes food. I want to make people feel like they just had great sex.

Gordon:
Unfortunately it's raw. Raw foie gras. Take that. [gives a piece to Josh and they both taste]

Josh:
(interview) That foie gras was goddamn perfect.

Gordon:
That is way way way too salty my man.

Josh:
(interview) Ok, I'll give him, it was a little salty.

Narrator:
Very few of the chefs have impressed Chef Ramsay with their dishes. Now it's down to the final chef.

Gordon:
Oh fuck me. Whose is this?

Aaron Song:
(Dressed up as a cowboy) It's me chef.

Gordon:
And where's your horse?

Aaron Song:
I left him parked outside chef.

Gordon:
I've never met an Asian cowboy.

Aaron Song:
(interview) I knew I shouldn't have worn this outfit!

Gordon:
You are one chunky monkey aren't you?

Aaron Song:
Yes, chef.

Gordon:
What is it?

Aaron Song:
It's finger food chef so,

Gordon:
How big are your fucking fingers?

Aaron Song:
I have big hands.

Gordon:
[tastes part of the dish] This is nice, just throw all that away. Your biggest problem is you don't know when to stop.

Aaron Song:
(interview) My plate was full but, heck I would've eaten all the food on the plate.

Narrator:
With the red team in shambles, Chef Ramsay turns to the blue team for some reassurance.

Gordon:
Aaron, how are you feeling?

Aaron Song:
Sorry. [starts to cry] I can't believe I'm crack-- I'm cracking up right now.

Gordon:
Keep it together! For God's sakes, man!

Aaron Song:
I don't know what's going on... [continues to cry]

Gordon:
Now you're making me feel nervous! I am not going into service with this level of incompetence. You know that.

Jean-Philippe:
(outside, to the waiting diners) Not too good... not too good...

Gordon:
Stop fucking crying. Stop, STOP! Do you want to go and lie down in the dorm?

Aaron Song:
No sir, I'm fine chef. I apologize.

Gordon:
You can do it.

Aaron Song:
Yes, chef.

Gordon:
Good man.

Gordon:
Who cooked these quail eggs?

Tiffany Nagel:
I did chef.

Gordon:
Touch that there. It's like a plastic silicon implant. Fucking bin them. Get rid of them.

Gordon:
(to Vinnie) Hey, just come here you... you're putting water in the risotto.

Vinnie:
Chef, I put water in the risotto, we don't have any more stock.

Gordon:
Oh, for fuck's sake...

Vinnie:
(interview) Well, stock is made of water, and vegetables are made of water. No harm, no foul. That's all we have.

Gordon:
[tastes] It tastes like gnat's piss. [coughs] Stop it! Look at me now, okay? Get off the section! Hey, Brad! Get on there. Get your arse on there. And stay on there!

Narrator:
While it's total chaos in the red kitchen, in the blue kitchen, the retirement home chef seems to be feeling all of his 48 years.

Aaron Song:
[washing his face with water] Oh, fuck.

Brad:
(interview) I'd like to see Aaron get better.

Aaron Song:
Oh, fuck.

Brad:
(interview) Get better at cooking.

Aaron Song:
I'm kind of dizzy right now. I'll be back in five, gentlemen.

Brad:
(interview) He just gave up. I would never walk off the line short of being punched in the face. Finish your night.

[Aaron walks into a store room and takes off his jacket. Gordon follows him in there.]

Gordon:
You've gone white.

Aaron Song:
[whimpering] Chef, I don't want to quit because of me. I don't want to quit because...

Gordon:
Hey.

Aaron Song:
But, I don't want to quit because of the guys, they're trying so hard. Everybody's trying really hard.

Gordon:
Hey, shhhhhhhh. Relax, relax, relax.

Narrator:
With Aaron taking early retirement from the meat station, Josh jumps in and tries to save the day.

Josh:
Two minutes in, Eddie, are you okay with two minutes on that?

Eddie:
Yes.

Josh:
Okay, two minutes!

Brad:
Come on guys, no bickering, lets do it!

Josh:
(interview) I was born for this.

Josh:
Come on guys! (interview) Unfortunately, I myself, walked into the deepest pile of the shit.

Gordon:
Josh,

Josh:
Yes, chef?

Gordon:
How many portions of chicken are overcooked?

Josh:
One, two, three, four and that's all the chicken that we have, chef.

Gordon:
So we've got no chicken anywhere?

Josh:
We have no chicken, chef.

Scott Leibfried:
We don't have any fucking chicken, we don't have any more Wellingtons, we don't have any fucking lettuce! We haven't served any food! How could we be out of anything?!

Gordon:
(to the red team) Your tables are now getting up... pissed off, and leaving! NOTHING'S GETTING DONE.

[cuts to the blue kitchen where Eddie's pan catches fire]

Brad:
Eddie, fill those out. They're going to taste like fucking lighter fluid.

Joanna:
People fucked me up right now.

Gordon:
Maryann, are they arguing again?

Maryann:
Yes, chef, they are.

Gordon:
(to the blue team) Just stop! [calls out the red team] Come here. Shut it down, forget it. The service, (to Jean-Philippe) we're shutting it down.

Gordon:
You've got every right to look down, because that was embarrassing. Ladies, I've never seen girls bitch so much. It was just evil and twisted. Hell's Bitches.

Gordon:
Vinnie, sixty minutes without any appetisers. What have you got to say?

Vinnie:
I didn't know what you wanted. You didn't want to show me. So what did you want me to do?

Gordon:
You two faced lazy little fucker.

Vinnie:
Lazy?

Rock:
(interview) All I could think to myself was, "Please shut up! Who are you talking to? Are you serious?" I just couldn't, I couldn't believe it.

Gordon:
What do you want me to do? Wipe your ass?

Aaron Song:
(to the customers) My name's Aaron. I'm a chef. I'm one of your chefs tonight. And welcome to Hell's Kitchen.

Customers:
Thank you.

Gordon:
(to Jean Philippe) What in the fuck is Aaron doing in the dining room?

Aaron Song:
My name's Aaron, and I'm a chef in Hell's Kitchen. Welcome to Hell's Kitchen.

Jean Philippe:
He's talking to customers.

Gordon:
He's talking to customers.

Aaron Song:
My name's Aaron. Well, you already know my name because it's on my shirt!

Gordon:
Get that fucking donkey out of there!

Narrator:
45 minutes into dinner service and Eddie's spaghetti has brought the blue kitchen to a standstill so Chef Ramsay turns to the women for a little hope.

Gordon:
Spaghetti, scallops how long?

Bonnie:
3 minutes, chef.

Gordon:
[sees what Bonnie is doing] What are you doing? What are you doing?

Bonnie:
I'm doing 3 scallops, chef.

Gordon:
See? I called one spaghetti, one scallops, then she's doing three scallops.

Bonnie:
I thought I heard... I'm sorry. Okay, one scallop.

Gordon:
Are you a dumb blonde?

[Gordon tastes Eddie's risotto at the pass]

Gordon:
Eddie! Oh, no. Oh, no! [returns to the workstation] ALL OF YOU! Taste it! It's inedible! [spits it out] It's way too peppery and you wouldn't even serve it to a fucking PIG! (to Eddie) Get off the section!

Eddie:
Yes, chef.

Gordon:
Get off!

Eddie:
Yes, chef.

[Gordon tastes Brad's risotto at the pass]

Gordon:
Taste that. It's overcooked and peppery, Brad! Fucking wake up will you please, yes? That's the second one by two different cooks. One fucking risotto, as quick as possible please.

Brad:
Yes, chef.

Gordon:
Josh, what are you doing there, what are you doing there with that chicken there? Is that dry?

Josh:
No, chef.

Gordon:
It looks dry from here. Just touch that, that's the skin, my man. Yeah. Yeah.

Josh:
Yes, chef. Yes, chef. [Gordon smashes the chicken from the plate] (interview) Did that honestly just happen? What just happened?!

Gordon:
That's it, fuck it! [throws the chicken on the floor] That's dry.

Josh:
Yes, chef.

Gordon:
You, you, you, you! Hey, you, you! Come here! You, come here! Hey, you! Fucking come here, you! [calls out Aaron] Where's that fucking cowboy? Aaron! [Aaron enters the kitchen] Now you've (Josh) got dry chicken. You fucking donkey! You (Eddie) can't even do a fucking risotto, you know that? You (Aaron) can't even filet a fucking fish! You, you, you, you, you, you, fuck off out of here. Get out! GET OUT! The fucking girls will finish the meal service! Get out!!

Gordon:
Aaron, you're in the dining room like the President of the United States of America shaking hands with people. What the fuck was that all about?

Aaron Song:
I apologize, chef. Obviously, I didn't do that great of a job.

Bonnie:
(interview) (when troops wake up the chefs) I'm in the shower with conditioner in my hair. I was like run through the house half naked and I look like a drowned rat and I'm not happy.

[Horns continued]

Vinnie:
(interview) It's was very disheartening to not to be able to serve the people that serve us. (Uses his hand to disguise a trombone) REMEDY! REMEDY!

[Gordon checks on scallops brought up by Bonnie]

Gordon:
Who's coo... Who?...

Bonnie:
I did the scallops, chef. What's wrong?

Gordon:
What's wrong?

Bonnie:
Are they raw?

Gordon:
Oh, come on! Fucking hell! You just asked me are they raw. Why don't you tell me what the fuck they are?

Bonnie:
They're raw, chef.

Gordon:
[throws a scallop in the bin, disgusted] Fuck off!

Gordon:
[smelling the crab] Hey, missy (Joanna), is that crab high to you? Anyone else smell that? Where's the crab? [picks up the container and smells it] Ugh! Maryann, smell that-- [seeing Joanna trying to leave] hey you, don't you fucking dare! Come here you! Hello!

Maryann:
[smelling the crab] Oh god.

Gordon:
Can you not smell that? The crab is off. It's fucking rancid! How can you do that?

Joanna:
I did not smell the crab chef.

Bonnie:
(interview) I can't believe Joanna had been using that. I mean, it just made you sit up and go "Whoa!"

Gordon:
Have you sent one out already?

Joanna:
No, chef, we haven't.

Gordon:
Thank God for that! YOU'LL KILL SOMEONE!! [throws the crab in the bin] Hey... get off! Get off! Julia, take over.

Julia:
Yes, chef.

Jean Philippe:
Should I recommend something else?

Gordon:
Oh, you fuck recommend. Yeah, recommend a new restaurant!

[Rock delivers his scallops to the pass with eggs cooked by Vinnie]

Gordon:
Hey, hello! Come here, donkeys! Here we go. We started. Come here! What is that?

Brad:
It's a raw egg.

Gordon:
What is that? [shows the egg to Josh] What-what is that? What is that? [slams the raw egg in Vinnie's whites] Fuck off, will you? Fuck off! Okay?!

Rock:
(interview) He slammed that shit right in Vinnie's... chest and Vinnie tensed up and he was about to bust and all I could think was, "Oh, my God. Do not lose your head."

Gordon:
Fuck off!! Hey, why did you let it go when you know it's not fucking ready?

Vinnie:
I screwed up again chef.

Gordon:
Hey, look at me now. You've now just confirmed to my mind you're not trustworthy! So fuck you!

Vinnie:
(interview) It's tough to bite your tongue. I just figured take it, it's the only way to win and you'll be alright.

Gordon:
Start the fucking table again.

Jen Yemola:
Julia, what you got in here is enough for two orders.

Julia:
Okay.

Jen Yemola:
I'm going to toss all this (spaghetti) out. [dumps it in the garbage]

Gordon:
Away next, scallop, risotto, spaghetti yes?

Julia:
Ladies, spaghetti!

Jen Yemola:
You need more spaghetti Julia? Oh, I fucking just tossed it! Let me just get it. I'll get it. I'll get it. (interview) We had an order for spaghetti and I threw out what we had and I just decided to retrieve the spaghetti from the top of the garbage and washed it. 212 (degrees) kills the bacteria and I decided to serve it.

Julia:
Where did you get it from?

Jen Yemola:
The garbage on top.

Julia:
Oh no, no, no. No way. (interview) Who in the world picks food out of the trash? You can't just do anything in the heat of the moment.

Gordon:
(not having seen what Jen did) How long Julia?

Julia:
Six minutes chef.

Gordon:
Oh dear.

Narrator:
Julia's quality control kept garbage from being served and Jen should consider herself lucky Chef Ramsay didn't witnessed her mistake. Meanwhile in the blue kitchen, the pressure is on Josh and Brad to get out some entrées.

Gordon:
Let's do two wellingtons, one turbot. Lets go.

Brad:
Josh, did you hear that? I'm going on two wellingtons. Can you, I need you guys to go.

Josh:
That's not a problem. How long on the wellingtons?

Brad:
I can go right now.

Josh:
No, I can't.

Brad:
You can't? I need to pull this out then.

Gordon:
Hey, JOSH!

Josh:
Yes, chef.

Gordon:
Fucking little bastard. Hey, are you just trying to sabotage them?!

Josh:
No way, chef.

Gordon:
So that it makes you look good?

Josh:
No way, chef.

Gordon:
Who's the first person you should be telling?

Josh:
I should talk to him (Brad), chef. I should talk to meat station. It was my fault, chef. (defensively) No sabotage. (interview) I wasn't trying to sabotage. Are you crazy?

Gordon:
You deserve a kick in the nuts.

Josh:
Yes, chef.

Gordon:
Hey, start the fucking table again.

[Gordon notices Brad scraping off the bottom of a burnt wellington]

Josh:
Brad, two minutes.

Brad:
Yes, no go in two minutes 45 seconds.

Gordon:
Hold on, there's someone being dishonest. Lift the bottom of the wellington over. [Brad does so] Oh come on. You give me them anaemic bits of shit, I'll fucking throw them up your arse sideways. [kicks a bin] Where's your fucking brains? I just cannot believe this! Can we have the two main courses TOGETHER?! [kicks the bins] SHIT!!!

Gordon:
Where's the wellington? How long?

Jen Yemola:
[comes up to Gordon] My wellingtons are going to be overdone.

Gordon:
Oh, for fuck's sake! Oh, come on!!

[cuts to the dining room]

Male diner:
I'm not waiting another minute for my main course.

Gordon:
Seventeen (wellingtons) on order and you've got three to send. We're fourteen short!

Jean-Philippe:
(to a female diner) You don't want to stay a bit longer?

Female diner:
Uhm, no.

[the customers have begun leaving. Jean-Philippe returns to the pass]

Jean-Philippe:
Chef, they are all walking out. To the left and 12, 14, from both sides, chef.

Gordon:
(to the red team) Stop! (calls the blue team) Come here! Hey, hello, chef (Josh), sabotage! Your tables are now getting up and leaving! Fuck off, will you, yeah?! [gets the tickets from the pass, crumples them and throws them away] Get out! GET OUT!

Gordon:
: Your palates are shit, so taste everything on this platter.

Gordon:
Melissa. You're running the appetisers, yes?

Melissa Firpo:
Yes.

Gordon:
You're running ahead, and no-one's with you. You're not a team player. Right now, I need some team fucking spirit!

Red team:
Yes, chef!

Gordon:
Or I'll kick you out, and I'll do the fucking section myself!

Melissa Firpo:
Yes, chef!

Gordon:
I know what your game is. You just want to get all the appetisers out.

Melissa Firpo:
No chef, I swear to God that's not true.

Gordon:
Look good, [pretends to put makeup on] Oh, fuck me. [pretends to adjust his boobs] Oh, fuck me! Fuck off. Piss off. Fucking bimbo.

Gordon:
We're waiting on you Bonnie! Is that just sliced in half there and put back in the pan?

Bonnie:
[points at chicken on the cutting board] This chef?

Gordon:
Oh no, Bonnie, not that. You're fucking here, you stupid cat. D'you know what? Every time I've asked you a sensible question, you give me a dumb blonde answer.

Bonnie:
Sorry chef.

Gordon:
Right, let's go back to the beginning shall we?

Bonnie:
Yes, chef.

Gordon:
Have you just sliced the chicken in half and stuck it back in the oven?

Bonnie:
Yes, chef.

Gordon:
Is it dry?

Bonnie:
It doesn't feel dry but I'll start over.

Gordon:
It's fucking lost its texture. Right now, you're all screwing your fucking selves. Is the chicken in for the langoustine?

Bonnie:
[points to the same chicken] Yes, chef. Right here.

Gordon:
Fuck me. No that's the main course one.

Bonnie:
It's right here.

Gordon:
Listen, Hey, listen, it's not in.

Bonnie:
It's not in but I'm putting it in now.

Gordon:
Right so - here we go again - When are you going to fucking shut up? I'VE HAD ENOUGH NOW! Stop lying to me! You're saying yes all the fucking time, yet nothing's DONE! WORK TOGETHER!

Red team:
Yes, chef!

[A tall lady comes to the hotplate demanding for food]

Gordon:
Jean-Philippe, what table is the lady from, please? So we can find out where food is, please?

Jean-Philippe:
23 chef.

Gordon:
23, blue, yes?

Jean-Philippe:
Yes, chef.

Gordon:
Take the giraffe back to her table please. Service please, let's go.

Lady:
Excuse me?! I'm asking for service and he's being rude.

Gordon:
Let's go. (to the tall lady) Fuck off, will you? Move your fucking ass, will you?

[Gordon checks on wellingtons brought up by Vinnie]

Gordon:
What did he do to them?

Scott Leibfried:
He was flashing them in the oven after they were cooked.

Gordon:
(comes back to the workstation) Okay guys. Just stop, stop, stop, stop, STOP!!!! Blue donkeys, come here! Touch that, touch that. IT'S RARE!! You (Vinnie), look at me. You don't care anymore, you know that?

Gordon:
(checking Vinnie's wellingtons) Vinnie!

Vinnie:
Yes, chef?

Gordon:
Vinnie, come on chef. Look, raw pastry's trimmed off the bottom. That's the shit you don't send to the customers. It's still left on. Tell him to trim them please?

Rock:
Trim them real quick.

Gordon:
Chef Vinnie!

Vinnie:
Yes, chef!

Gordon:
Look at me. Can you trim it properly?

Vinnie:
Yes, chef.

Gordon:
And bring it to the hotplate and cut the pastry with a straighted knife. Donkey! Is it every other one is right? Or is it one in three is right?

Vinnie:
No, chef. This one's perfect.

Gordon:
This one's perfect. What have you overcooked? How much have you binned?

Vinnie:
I fucked a lot up but I'm on it now.

Gordon:
[seeing Vinnie's wasted meat] Oh, no!

Vinnie:
(interview) I kept my own private garbage bin on my station and I had six wellington orders and one chicken in my bin.

Gordon:
Hey, a restaurant wouldn't even open with that. You'd close it before you got anywhere. [slams the tray on Vinnie's station]

Vinnie:
(interview) It was a mistake. It's an expensive mistake.

Gordon:
Oh! Fuck me senseless!

[Jean-Philippe returns to the pass with pasta]

Jean-Philippe:
Table 20, spaghetti undercooked chef.

Gordon:
Blue, yes?

Jean Philippe:
Oui chef.

Gordon:
Where's fucking pretty-boy sushi man (Josh), where is he?

Josh:
Right here, chef.

Gordon:
Complaint: raw spaghetti. No don't fucki-- [grunts] The fuck you call that? What do you think you are? WWF... Wrestling? Dick. Taste it!

[Gordon gathers both teams to the pass]

Gordon:
Let me just tell you something: The customers are deciding which team is winning this evening. Your fate is in their hands, yet you still send crap! One more dish back, and I'm going to fucking shut it down. Now get a grip!

Gordon:
I'm just getting so fucking wound up. It's not going anywhere. We're not getting anything out. Everything's fucking done, clearly given up, and it's fucking embarrassing.

Red Team:
No, chef!

Jean-Philippe:
[returning with a dish] Chef?

Gordon:
Aw, fuck off! Oh, fuck off! [kicks a bin] Fuck off! What did they say?

Jean-Philippe:
Chicken being cold, chef.

Gordon:
Ah?

Jean-Philippe:
Chicken being cold.

Gordon:
Right, hey, gentlemen. Hey, ladies, yeah, all look good well over. Hey, Barbie! (Bonnie) Do your hair before you come over! Stone-cold chicken, fucking salty fucking garnish, yeah? And fucking - there you go chef, there you go. [drops the dish on the floor] Fucking clear down.

Josh:
(interview) Chef was furious. He dropped the plate, he said "Fuck off! Shut down!" And we were SO goddamn close again! Damn it.

Julia:
Bonnie, do I sear it until it gets really, really crispy?

Bonnie:
No, you have to do it very slowly. It's not a sear.

Melissa Firpo:
[pushing in next to Julia] What's the problem? Julia, ask me if you have any questions.

Bonnie:
Alright...

Julia:
What is your problem, Melissa?

Melissa Firpo:
You're supposed to listen to me, not Bonnie.

Bonnie:
(interview) Excuse me?!

Melissa Firpo:
Check in on your duck, Julia. You took it out of the oven.

Julia:
Yeah, so it won't burn.

Melissa Firpo:
I think you should stick it back in, just for a little while.

Julia:
But it's already medium.

Melissa Firpo:
Guys, all the food has to be plated hot. I'm assuming that you have just a little bit of knowledge of how to cook...

Julia:
Don't assume!

Melissa Firpo:
...otherwise, you shouldn't be here.

Julia:
I thought that you knew how to cook, too!

Bonnie:
(to herself) I am above all this.

[cut to Rock, who is standing in the storeroom by the red kitchen]

Rock:
Argue, argue. Hell's Bitches, Hell's Bitches. Yes!

Gordon:
This menu is a crucial, critical menu. Did you use the time wisely?

Red Team:
No, chef.

Gordon:
What? No?

Bonnie:
Too many people were arguing on our team chef.

Gordon:
Oh, come on, ladies. Why are we arguing Julia on such an important occasion?

Julia:
Because there was one person who wanted to run around and do every single thing.

Gordon:
Who was in charge?

Melissa:
I'm in charge, but unfortunately I can't do everything at once. I need help.

Gordon:
Stop. I didn't put you in charge, madam. You're standing there acting like some jumped up little cavewoman. Today's challenge quite frankly was a team effort. Let's hope what you have produced in the last hour is delicious.

Narrator:
Now it all comes down to the meat entrée.

Rock:
(interview) Tied 1-1. All the pressure is riding on...me.

Gordon:
Third and final dish. Please present the meat entrées.

Melissa:
(to Jen) We shouldn't send it.

Gordon:
Please present the meat entrées together.

Rock:
Ready, Jen?

Melissa Firpo:
Jen, don't send it. Don't.

Gordon:
Melissa, I don't know what you're trying to do, or whether you're trying to upset our guests. But right now, I'm starting to get pissed. Now will you send your food?!

Rock:
Let's go. [Rock and Jen bring the meat entrées to the table.]

Gordon:
Right. Domes off. [Rock and Jen reveal their dishes, Jen's dish is a small dried up duck breast on a bare plate.] Alright... okay... ahem...

Bonnie:
(interview) There are no words to say how humiliating it was serving a piece of shit duck to a husband and wife to be. I really wanted to disintegrate.

Gordon:
Oh dear. Jen.

Jen Yemola:
Yes, chef?

Gordon:
Describe the dish.

Jen Yemola:
That's a duck breast... um...

Gordon:
First of all, I'm deeply embarrassed.

Jen Yemola:
I am as well. (interview) I was so embarrassed you know. They probably think I cooked it. I had nothing to do with that!

Gordon:
Rock, please explain.

Rock:
We have a dry aged rib eye that's been pan seared and served with wild mushroom cream sauce.

Gordon:
Thank you. [gives Carlotta the rib eye and Cyrus the duck breast]

Cyrus:
[trying to cut through the duck] Oh wow, this is really tough.

Gordon:
I'm so sorry. Nobody's going to be eating that, are they? [takes the duck away and covers it with a napkin, then looks at the Red Team in disgust]

Carlotta:
[tasting the rib eye] This is delicious. That's great.

Cyrus:
Definitely.

Narrator:
Rock's rib eye easily beats the women's lame duck and the men win their first challenge in Hell's Kitchen.

Josh:
(interview) Two things are happening right now. Number one, we finally got a win and we feel great about it. Number two, it's open hunting season on chicks and we're about to start picking them off one by one.

Gordon:
My, er, apologies, and we'll do all that we can to make sure it's a very special day. Thank you for joining us for the tasting.

Carlotta:
Thank you. [she and Cyrus leave]

Gordon:
(to the Red Team) You four Hell's Bitches, I am embarrassed. I don't think I've ever, EVER been so embarrassed inside this restaurant in my entire life. That was a joke! You should be ashamed. All four of you are going to work your asses off. Get - out - my - sight!

[During preparation for the wedding reception, Melissa has burned a potato dish and has to redo it]

Gordon:
They are getting fucking married! I can't stop the church!

Gordon:
(to Josh) You still look fabulous by the way, yeah? You should be covering GQ: you, front cover, "Captain Dick".

Josh:
(interview) Chef wants to put me on the cover of GQ. That's fine and good. But what I'm waiting for is for him to put me in charge of Green Valley Ranch.

[During the wedding reception, the wedding MC (Francisco) comes to the pass to demand faster service from Gordon]

Francisco:
Gordon?

Gordon:
[calls the waiters] Service, please! (to Francisco) Can you get out of the fucking way? I'm trying to serve food. You get out of the way. Stand out of the fucking way!!

Francisco:
Okay, I think that went well.

Gordon:
Where is the sauce for the seabass?

Josh Wahler:
It's right here, Chef. (brings his sauce to the pass)

Narrator:
Josh is moving fast to get entrees to the pass.

Gordon:
Hey you, come here.

Narrator:
...maybe, a little too fast.

Gordon:
Heat the sauce up! IT'S STONE-COOOOOOOLD! Look at him, running around with a pan! Oh, my-GET IT ON THE STOVE!

[The blue team has lost the lobster challenge]

Gordon:
Losers, unfortunately, your punishment is at the other end of the spectrum. It's incredibly unglamourous. I can't think of any worse place to be. Today, I'm looking for everything that's possible to be recycled from every garbage bin inside this restaurant.

Rock:
I've never seen anything inside of a garbage can that should be taken out. I might find this a little difficult.

Gordon:
I can guarantee that within one hour, you'll find something.

Rock:
(interview) Chef Ramsay tells us that they get to go to In Touch magazine and we have to dig through some fucking trash. I grew up in the ghetto in the hood. I ain't never been in no trash.

Brad:
Let's take our punishment like gentlemen.

Gordon:
Brad, thank you for being a man.

Brad:
Thank you chef.

Rock:
I guess I'm not a man. [starts throwing and slamming stuff as the blue team cleans up the kitchen] (interview) I'm pissed off! That was the dumbest fucking decision I've seen! That was bullshit!

Brad:
(interview) Rock, he was pissed. Pissed to the point where I thought he was going to flip out.

Rock:
What kind of shit is that?

Brad:
(interview) I'm sorry, "thought". He flipped out.

Rock:
Lobster bisque.You can get that shit at motherfucking Corner Bakery! (interview) You can go everywhere and get a fucking lobster soup! A grilled bullshit salad with some fucking apple! ORIGINALITY! BE CREATIVE!

Rock:
And they get the fucking win! (interview) They're not creative over there and we lose?! What the fuck is original about a crab and lobster bisque?! NOTHING!

Melissa:
Does Rock always get that mad?

Brad:
I've never seen Rock that mad.

Josh:
Never.

Gordon:
Brad?

Brad:
Yes, Chef?

Gordon:
Two appetisers, you served me three. It's not a good start, guys. Water's not boiling properly for the fucking pasta, I call away a spaghetti and a fucking sea bass, I get a risotto as a little gift I don't fucking need. Stop panicking!

Gordon:
Melissa?

Melissa Firpo:
Yes, Chef?

Gordon:
It's like paper scallops.

Melissa Firpo:
I'll get new ones, Chef.

Gordon:
[handing Melissa's scallops to Brad and Josh] There you go.

Josh:
(interview) Some of the scallops she did, they were, like, thin as a paper; there's like nothing there.

Gordon:
Pass it back to Chef Melissa, the fucking gremlin. Everything she touches, she screws, there you go.

Melissa Firpo:
Sorry guys.

Gordon:
Hey, madam, this is not our first night?

Melissa Firpo:
Yes, chef. No, chef.

Gordon:
"Yes, chef. No, chef?" Fucking gremlin.

Melissa Firpo:
Monkfish chef.

Gordon:
Eh, right. Uhm, Fish King, (Josh) come here you. There's the monkfish.

Melissa Firpo:
Overcooked?

Josh:
It's overcooked.

Gordon:
Oh, god almighty. You don't know that's overcooked?

Melissa Firpo:
Sorry chef.

Gordon:
Hey, Brad, she doesn't know that's overcooked. Rock, she doesn't know that's chewed to fuck and overcooked. Scott, she doesn't know that's overcooked?

Scott Leibfried:
Oh, my God. Completely.

Rock:
(interview) Melissa was nervous, I could see it in her eyes and she fell apart. The monkfish was overdone. Pressure busts pipes, baby!

Gordon:
It looks like regurgitated dog shit. Where's other monkfish gone?

Melissa Firpo:
I have one left chef.

Gordon:
Oh, no! So the six top on order are all shit?

Melissa Firpo:
Yes.

Gordon:
No, no, no! Right Rock, listen to me, no choice now. Stop the veg, get on the fish. You! (Melissa) Oi, oi! Get on the garnish. Get the fuck off of there! Get off!

[An entire table of entrées has returned to the blue kitchen and Gordon has had it]

Gordon:
What's the matter?

Jean-Philippe:
Lobster's chewy, chef. And the beef overdone.

Gordon:
Ohhhh, no. The whole fucking six top returned. Hello, look at me. Thanks (Melissa) for overcooking the monk-fish. Thanks (Josh) for shafting me on the mashed potatoes, and thanks (Brad) for being a twat on the appetisers. It's just so sad. Shut it down! Clear down.

Man:
What about dessert?

Jean-Philippe:
When it's closed, it's closed.

Man:
Fuck that!

Gordon:
Brad, tonight you were shit. In fact, you were worse than shit. You complemented shit.

Gordon:
Hello! Hey, hey, hey! We haven't got the garnish now! The team's not working together and I'm getting a little bit pissed now! Not one of you talking, see what's happening!

Julia:
Yes, chef.

Gordon:
You're just screwing your-fucking-selves!

Julia:
I see what's happening.

Gordon:
NO-ONE'S EVEN TALKING TO EACH OTHER!!! [kicks the bins]

Gordon:
(to Josh) Where's the lamb? How long please? HOW LONG, PLEASE?

Josh:
Lamb's coming right now, chef.

Gordon:
Let's go.

Josh:
Yes, chef.

Gordon:
Hey, you. Hey, donkey.

Josh:
Yes, chef.

Gordon:
One's nicely cooked, yeah, coloured, one's boiled. Fuck off, will you? So we're under pressure now and this is where it separates the fucking chef from a donkey! Come here! Let me tell you something.

Josh:
Yes, chef.

Gordon:
Let me tell you something in your ear: YOU CAN'T COOK! That's what's just been confirmed to me.

Josh:
Good to go? We're coming, Rock.

Gordon:
Yeah, you're coming. So is your fucking elimination. Come round. Just look what you're doing here, you DOUGHNUT! Look - boiled, boiled, boiled, boiled. DONKEY!

Josh:
Yes, chef.

Gordon:
I expected perfect!

Josh:
(interview) I'm working app(etizer)s tonight. I'm totally 100% confident in myself to get the team started off with a bang. (to his team mates) Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.

Gordon:
[finds that Josh has cooked risotto ahead] Why is the risotto on? We haven't given one away. How long has that been on there for?

Josh:
That's been on there for four minutes. These were on there earlier. They're going away.

Gordon:
[finds that Josh has cooked five other risottos] Fucking h-- how many are you doing? Can someone stop this guy? You've started panicking, my ma. How many fucking risottos are you doing up front? Look at all these pans!

Josh:
Yes, chef.

Gordon:
What is going on? Let me just tell you something: we've opened, we haven't served anything yet, and we've lost money. What a fucking doughnut!

[Gordon checks on scallops brought up by Rock; they're badly overcooked]

Gordon:
Rock!

Rock:
Yes, chef?

Gordon:
Yeah, you can fuck yourself! Look at that there, look at that. There you go. Come on! Oh, fucking hell. Three more scallops in! It takes one minute to sauté the scallops. Is that what we serve in Hell's Kitchen?

Rock:
Not at all, chef.

Gordon:
We're going from fucking bad to worse, man.

Bonnie:
(interview) It just seemed so comical. Rock and Josh aren't doing well.

Gordon:
Scallops, risottos, spaghetti! (to Josh) What's in that basket?

Josh:
This is one of the pulled--

Gordon:
Why? Just talk to me. Why? Why? Why? [sees that there's already spaghetti in the basket]

Josh:
Starting over. Starting over.

Gordon:
Oh, fuck me. In your restaurant when you come in here do you cook spaghetti before the customer orders it?

Josh:
Never, chef.

Gordon:
So why are you doing it here?

Josh:
It was wrong.

Gordon:
Fuck. Oh was it really wrong? Even my mum cooks spaghetti seven minutes before she wants it. Get it in the bin!

[Deleted Scene]

Gordon:
Fuck me. Fuck me. Fuck. Josh, you're putting more spaghetti in! It's not away!

Josh:
I heard two spaghetti.

Gordon:
It's the third and fourth table that's right. PUT IT IN THE BIN!

Josh:
Going in the bin right now chef.

Gordon:
Oh fuck me.

Narrator:
While Julia struggles to keep her station under control, Josh continues to test Chef Ramsay's patience.

Gordon:
What the fuck is he doing? [sees more spaghetti in the basket] Wha? More spaghetti in there! [dumps it in the bin]

Josh:
Sorry.

Gordon:
We cook spaghetti to order! Even the fucking, dirtiest, scummiest Italian restaurant in Venice Beach cooks spaghetti to order you donkey!

Josh:
Yes, chef.

Gordon:
I'm just wondering what the fuck you're doing?

Josh:
I'm here chef.

Gordon:
You're pushing me to the fucking limit, big boy, yeah?

[7:
04 PM]

Narrator:
More than a hour into dinner service, guests are finally getting a taste of Josh's appetizers.

Jean-Philippe:
How is everything?

Lady #1:
[whispers in JP's ear] It's under-cooked.

Lady #2:
Oh, my God!

[Jean-Philippe returns the risotto to the pass]

Jean-Philippe:
Risotto is under-cooked, chef.

Gordon:
Sorry?

Jean-Philippe:
It's under-cooked, chef.

Gordon:
Oh, my God almighty! [tastes the risotto, then spits it out] Ugh! Ugh! Oh, fuck off! oh, fuck-- come here! Come here! Come here, you! What are you doing? Just what the FUCK are you doing?! Every table so far, nothing's coming out. You're standing there, you're screwing me, and you're fucking useless. What are you doing?!

Josh:
Sorry, chef.

Gordon:
Yeah, do me a favour.

Josh:
Yes, chef?

Gordon:
[rips Josh's jacket open] Take that off and FUCK OFF OUT OF HERE! GET OUT! Hey, you! Leave the jacket and GET OUT! GET OUT!

[Gordon throws a spoon at Josh, then follows him to the back area; Josh takes his jacket off]

Gordon:
Give me the jacket!

Josh:
I'm giving you--

Gordon:
Give me the FUCKING jacket! [Gordon takes the jacket from Josh, crumples it up and throws it into the storeroom] Fucking useless sack of SHIT! GET OUT! GET OUT!!!

Josh:
(interview; imitates a bomb falling and exploding) I would've given my right arm to stay in this service and keep fighting. I came here with a dream to win. And it appears it's over. It appears that Green Valley Ranch is not in my future. Dream's over guys.

Narrator:
The four remaining chefs have managed to move on to desserts. But the moment is anything but sweet.

Rock:
What is this? Is this yours?

Jen Yemola:
That's the ice cream base. Put it over there if you could on the sink. [Rock puts the base on the counter where Bonnie is working. Jen reaches in front of Bonnie for the container.] Asshole!

Rock:
You a fucking asshole!

Gordon:
Hey, hey, hey! Do you mind? We're not arguing amongst ourselves are we?

Jen Yemola:
No, chef.

Gordon:
Yeah the fucking weak link is gone, now you should start fucking working as a team!

Rock:
Don't jump when you say jump!

Bonnie:
Stop, stop, stop.

Rock:
Who the fuck you think you're talking to.

Bonnie:
Stop!

Gordon:
I can not run this kitchen like this!

Jen Yemola:
Big man. Big man.

Rock:
Big man shit.

Gordon:
SHUT THE FUCK UP!! [bangs the overhead] Enough's enough.

Rock:
Big man shit!

Bonnie:
You guys, knock it off. Okay, we got one brulee, one panna cotta, and then we're done.

Narrator:
Despite the ongoing fighting,...

Rock:
Simple ass broad.

Jen Yemola:
You're crazy.

Narrator:
...The aspiring chefs manage to successfully complete dinner service.

[Gordon has introduced his mother to the three remaining chefs]

Gordon:
Rock, no cursing.

Rock:
No, chef.

Gordon:
Never ever in front of your mum.

[Deleted Scene]

Scott Leibfried:
(to Josh right before dinner service) You two need to get it together right fucking now! Don't make any of your stupid fucking things for Rock or I will take you outside and beat the shit out of you! You fuck him over and I'm coming after you! You got it? You got it?

Josh:
Yes, chef.

Scott Leibfried:
You understand me? Look at my eyes, I am coming for you if you fuck him over! You got it?

Josh:
I will not fuck him over.

Scott Leibfried:
(to Vinnie) You too!

[Deleted Scene]

Vinnie:
How long on the garnish? Chef Scott?

Scott Leibfried:
Am I in charge of the garnish now because you two fucking dickheads can't handle it? Green beans are coming right up. How long on the garnish? Because you two douchebags can't handle it. "How long on the fucking garnish?" I love that. What's the next pickup?

Rock:
Surf and turf snapper?

Scott Leibfried:
I'm not fucking talking to either one of you schmucks! Shut your fucking mouths, alright?