It's Pony, Season 1

Pony:
Where are we going?

Annie Bramley:
To make our dreams come true.

Pony:
I got into unicorn school!?

Annie:
The farmer's market!

Annie:
Dad, we missed the bus! Can you give me a ride to school?

George:
[grunts] He got me! The scruffy stowaway hijacked my truck! He must have been hiding in the empty boxes I picked up at the pet store! [kicks a box] (Sorry, what were you saying, Annie?)

Annie:
(Uh, never mind.) Looks like we're walking. Come on, Pony. You made me late, you have to walk with me.

Pony:
Hey, you know I'm no good with things that pop. Balloons, bubbles, that guy's head in that horror movie…

Beatrice:
Hey, guys, need a ride?

Pony:
[whispering] It's Beatrice.

Annie:
Oh, come on, she's not so bad. Let's just be nice to her. I'm sure she won't…

Beatrice:
[squeezing Pony] Squeeze! You are so adorable! I love cats and dogs and birds and chinchillas, but especially horses!

[Pony is trying to open a foldable chair grunting.]

Annie:
Look, I found dad's old tent! Help me figure out how to put it up.

Pony:
[grunting] As soon as I get this bear trap open.

Annie:
It's not a bear trap, it's a camp chair.

Pony:
Pretty sure it's a trap.

George:
Are you sure it's okay with the school for Pony to go on the camping trip?

Pony:
[with his head stuck inside the camping chair] I'm a chaperone!

George:
No, you're not!

Annie:
It's definitely okay. It's a nature weekend, and he loves nature!

Pony:
And nature loves me, we're old friends. It'll be great to catch up! I can't wait!

George:
Fine, it'll be nice to have some peace and quiet around here for a change.

Annie:
This trip is going to be so great, everybody's going! Clara, Gerry, Heston. We'll probably stay up late telling ghost stories! Do I know a ghost story? I need to learn a ghost story.

[The doors lock them out]

Annie:
[sighs] Another place we're banned from.

Pony:
This means we can go on the camping trip after all!

Annie:
I don't see how, everybody's tents are ruined.

Pony:
Not everyone's tent. [Annie and her friends go camping at a campsite] This is the life, I love connecting with nature.

Clara:
There's room in the hot tub.

Pony:
[throws his cotton candy] My turn! [runs to the hot tub] Cannonball!

Heston:
Don't do it!

Clara:
No!

[Pony cannonballs in the tub and the water splashes on everyone.]

Heston:
We need a new chaperone.

George:
[from inside] Pony, why would you ever…?! [grunts] Oh, my god! Pony!!

Annie:
What did you do?

Pony:
I'll tell you when you're older.

Annie:
Tell me now!

Pony:
You'll just get mad and throw lettuce at me like Dad did.

Annie:
So it was something to do with lettuce, so something with Dad?

Annie:
Will you please tell me what you did?

Heston:
Annie, Pony! Check out my cool trick! [slides then falls]

Pony:
[whispers] What should we do?

Annie:
[whispers] I don't know, clap? [she and Pony do so]

Heston:
Oh, stop. I'm still working on it, okay? What are you guys up to?

Annie:
Not much. We had to leave the house kind of suddenly, so here we are.

Heston:
What happened? [Pony whispers in his ear] Eww… Is that even possible? Maybe you should come live with me from now on.

Pony:
Might be best.

Fred:
We're doom!

Clara:
Gerry, I always loved you!

Gerry:
Wait, what?

Pony:
Unicorns can fly?

Annie:
Probably, but come on. We need to save our court. There’s a whole line of kids waiting to meet you. Let’s go back and make them happy! What do ya say? (Pony?) [sees Pony outside]

Pony:
Unicorns can fly! [jumps off and does tricks] Oh, yeah! Woo!

Pony:
Stand back, Annie! I got this! Mind power! [later gets run over] It was going a lot faster before I ponied it.

Annie:
I was wrong! Your plan was not fine!

Pony:
I told you it wasn’t ready!

Annie:
Now I remember why I make the plans!

Pony:
Okay, okay. I’ll make a better one.

George:
Goodbye, November. Hello, January.

Pony:
Quick, gimme your boot.

Annie:
Pony, whose boat is this?

Pony:
Carl and… [to the woman] (What was your name again?)

Woman:
(It's) Leanne.

Pony:
(Thanks for that.) [back to Annie] It's Carl and Leanne's boat. [whispers] They're on a date.

Annie:
If we're not allowed in, we'll have to break him out.

Pony:
I’ll bust the door down. Stand back. Hang on. Let me try again. Phew! This is harder than it looks.

George:
Hold up. Pony. Pony? Pony!

Pony:
[crushes the melons and the pea carefully] What's next?

Annie:
I didn't know you can change a flat tire.

Pony:
There's a lot you don't know about me, Annie.

Annie:
Really, like what?

Pony:
Well, for example, did you know I can change a flat tire?

Annie:
Yes. You just said that.

Pony:
Oh, then we're up to date.

Annie:
Pony, you did it! (You saved my life… and the truck.)

Pony:
Didn't need a piano.

Annie:
[hugs Pony] Ohh...

[A car drives up.]

George:
Annie! Ah, you're safe. (Come to Daddy. Were you scared?)

Helen:
Thanks, Pony. That was amazing. You saved Annie.

Pony:
Does that you (or mostly Dad) won't make me live in the dumpster with Old Barry?

George:
What? (Why would you say that?)

Annie:
We're afraid you were gonna get rid of Pony because he wasn't useful.

Helen:
We would never do that. (Especially your father, Annie.) Pony's a part of the family.

George:
[to Pony] (She's right. Just because I got mad at you at being useless, it doesn't mean I'll get rid of you.) Besides, you might not be that good of looking after melons, but... you pretty good of looking my girl, so that's one thing.

Pony:
♪ Today's the day, so get there early. ♪ [taps the truck] ♪ Don't miss out on Swirly Shirley. ♪

Annie:
Swirly Shirley is the most delicious milkshake ever created, and it's only sold one day of the year.

George:
Never heard of it.

Annie:
You must have at least heard the song. Pony's been singing it all day.

Pony: ♪ If your hair is straight or curly. If you like your milkshakes whirly. Get yourself a… ♪

Pony and a builder:
♪ ...Swirly Shirley. ♪

George:
That's Pony? I thought that was a busted radio.

Annie:
He's stuck on repeat.

Helen:
It's been a while since we had a day at the mall.

George:
A day? I don't wanna spend the whole day there.

Helen:
Oh, no, me neither. A card for Mrs. Okaba, and that's it. Maybe a few samples at the food court.

George:
Ah, then we will be there all day.

Pony:
♪ Whirly, today's the day, so get there early. ♪

Annie:
Where is it, where is it?!

Pony:
♪ Like your milkshake- ♪

Annie:
There! It's right there at the other end! We have to get all the way to here. This place is a maze of distractions. This may be the hardest thing we've ever had to do.

[a little later]

Pony:
Huh, not the hardest thing we've had to do.

Annie:
And we've got 8 minutes left! We're the best. Quick, let's drink it and get back.

Pony:
No, no, stop, don't rush it. We need to savor the Swirly Shirley.

Annie:
Then let's go back to the truck first and enjoy it there.

Pony:
Okay, good plan, let's go. ♪ Get yourself a Swirly Shirley ♪

Annie:
How can you possibly sleep through this racket?

Pony:
[yawning] I find it soothing. If anything, I'm sleeping better since she started.

Annie:
Of all the instruments Marti could take up, the tuba?

Pony:
It’s like a whale is singing me a lullaby.

Annie:
This is driving me crazy! I need sleep. Oh, maybe it's quieter in Mom and Dad's room.

Annie:
So, if I can get pony to be quiet, you won’t play your tuba after bedtime?

Marti:
If you can manage that, sure. A deal's a deal.

Annie:
We’ll be quite. You’ll see. I mean, hear. I mean, not hear. We'll be quiet, I promise.

[Pony grunts as her puts Annie's bed under the hole.]

Annie:
I made a deal with Marti. She'll be quiet if you're quiet.

Ramiro:
Students, you've all been working hard, so for first period today, we have some very special guests.

Annie:
[sighs] A whole hour of sleep.

Ramiro:
Here to inspire and entertain you, the Horn Identity.

[brass instruments playing]

Pony:
[to Annie] I'm in a band.

Gerry:
I love this song.

Annie:
That was awesome. I feel totally better.

Pony:
Oh, good…

George:
Oh, Helen, I don't feel so good.

Pony:
Why is everyone so busy on Valentine's Day?

Annie:
Not everyone. If everyone was busy, then Ramiro wouldn’t make us… That’s it! If Ramiro had Valentine’s Day plans, there wouldn’t be a school dance. All of our problems would be solved.

Pony:
Plans? Like a date?

Annie:
Exactly. Now who’s a good match for a lonely principal?

Pony:
How about Mr. Pancks?

[Mr. Pancks chainsaws the rose bush and whistles]

Annie:
Maybe not.

Pony:
Dave?

Annie:
Nah.

Dave:
Hey, Pony.

Pony:
Hi, Dave. Mr. Underwood?

Annie:
Nah.

Pony:
This guy? (Oh, wait.)

Annie:
That's Dad. Oh, we're never going to find someone to take Ramiro on a Valentine’s Date.

Pony:
Don't give up Annie love is right around the corner.

Gravlax:
Principal Ramiro, what can I do for you?

Ramiro:
Hello, Mr. Gravlax. I was wondering if you could spare some ice for the school dance. And please, call me "Penny".

Gravlax:
Oh, you betcha. Anything for you, Principal Penny. Eh?

Pony:
Do you hear music?

Annie:
Pony, can you believe this? I think she likes him. Let's make this happen. Come on. Hey, Mr Gravlax. So what are you doing for Valentine's Day?

Gravlax:
Oh, yeah, I got a big date.

Annie and Pony:
Uh.

Gravlax:
With my fishing rod.

[Annie and Pony gasping]

Gravlax:
Yeah. Taking Dora out to sea.

Annie and Pony:
[disappointed] Uh.

Gravlax:
Dora's the name of my boat.

Annie:
[gasping] You should ask Principal Ramiro out on a date.

Gravlax:
Oh, I'm not that good at asking folks out on dates.

[Ramiro is shopping for chocolates]

Annie:
Okay, there she is. Just go ask her.

Pony:
No, he can't do that. Haven't you ever seen a romance movie? It has to just happen. [to Gravlax] Go bump into her, and then when you're helping her pick everything up, gaze in her eyes and ask her out.

Gravlax:
Okay, if you say so.

Annie:
I don't know about this, Pony.

Pony:
Trust me, Annie. In all my vampire romance novels, the vampire always gets the girl.

Gravlax:
Ah. Kids, I got to tell you, this rope is giving me quite the wedgie.

Pony:
Now glide! Glide like the fog glides across the marsh on a dark October morning.

Gravlax:
When am I supposed to ask her out on a date?

Pony:
Yes. Good. Do that.

[Henrietta walks to Annie and Pony.]

Annie:
Please don't say anything. I feel bad enough.

Henrietta:
About what? I owe you an apology. I loved your dad's speech. So inspiring. Now I know what I wanna be.

Annie:
A farmer?

Henrietta:
No way, I wanna be an internet sensation like your dad. [shows her a video of George, acting like a wild animal] It's got like a zillion hits.

George:
[video] Pointy, pointy, pointer.

[Henrietta walks off]

Pony:
I told you I make everything better!

Annie:
We’ve got to scare them off.

Pony:
Scaring isn't the answer. Let’s be friendly.

Annie:
I don’t have time for this. I have a party to set up.

Annie:
Pony! Hey, Pony! The crow’s left the balco-

Pony:
Shhh! We're trying to watch something in here.

Annie:
What?!

Pony:
Shhh!

Annie:
What are they doing in here?

Pony:
I invited them in. See? No more crows on the balcony, and no scaring needed. Just the extended hoof of friendship. That one’s the leader. I call him Russell. They promised they’ll be out of here as soon as they finish watching Buddies. It’s their favorite show.

TV Announcer:
You're watching the Buddies marathon. Every episode of Buddies, ever. All 12 seasons, nonstop. All week long.

Pony:
Oh.

Annie:
No, no, no. We need them out of here before people show up for the party! Come on crows. Out! Uh! [grabs the remote] Give me that.

Pony:
My last shot. Gotta make it count. Hey, Russell!

Annie:
Oh, you did it! They’re gone!

Pony:
Problem solved. All it took was the hoof of friendship… and every one of Dad’s pumpkins.

Pony:
How many more?

Annie:
Don't ask. Just scrub.

Pony:
[Reading a comic book zoomed in] Once, there was a city riddled with crime. Boom! Aah! [starts speaking in a criminal-like voice] "Hey, let's do crimes and stuff! Yeah! Take that, lady! But–" [gasps] Who's this? [normal voice] He's a cop. He's a dad. He's Cop Dad! On his rocket-powered llama.

[The scene zooms out to normal]

Annie:
Cop Dad doesn't ride a rocket-powered llama.

Pony:
He does in the comics.

Annie:
Okay, sure, but he doesn't in any movies.

Pony:
He might in the new one.

Annie:
Yeah. (That's right.) It starts in half an hour. We should probably go.

Pony:
[holding a paper] Cop Dad is so cool.

Annie:
Imagine having parents that cool.

[George can be seen coming in the kitchen wearing a robe with a pickle sandwich in his hand, the pickle drops out and falls on the floor. Annie and Pony stare at him.]

George:
[looks] What?

Annie:
Nope, never gonna happen.

Helen:
You sure about that?

[Annie and Pony turn around to find Helen dressed in a neighborhood watch vest. Annie and Pony gasping happily.]

Helen:
It's our slow season, so I thought I'd find some excitement and danger. This city needs a hero, and that's me, dishing out justice and mopping up crime.

George:
It's the neighborhood watch, Helen, not the SWAT team.

Helen:
Oh, you're just jealous I got the gig and you didn't.

George:
Jealous? I've got a hot bath and a pickle sandwich. What could be better than that?

Helen:
See you later, kids. I've got streets to keep clean. [steps out the room and then pops back in] Clean of crime in case that wasn't clear.

Pony:
[amazed] Wow. Okay, let's go to the movies.

Annie:
No, no, no, no, no. Why go see "Cop Dad" when we've got the real thing?

Annie:
I wonder where we'll find her. She's probably busting up a notorious gang or something.

Pony:
Or-or chasing down joyriders.

Annie:
[her phone rings] Hey, Clara.

Clara:
Hey, Annie. I'm in line for "Cop Dad". Where are you?

Annie:
Aw, forget "Cop Dad". You should come and see the real thing: Cop Mom!

Clara:
But, we've been planning for this for months. I reserved tickets.

Annie:
Well, cancel our tickets. Cancel everybody's tickets and bring them along. 'Cause trust me, this is going to be great.

Pony:
It's like the action movie without the movie.

Clara:
Really? Okay, we'll be right there.

Annie:
[hangs up her phone she finds Helen near the park and peeks around the corner] Look, there she is.

[The scene transitions to her appearance with her glasses shining, the scene then zooms out and shows Helen standing near a tree with one of it's leaves falling off to the concrete sidewalk.]

Helen:
[Talking to the tree] No littering!

Pony:
This is like an action movie without the movie… or the action.

[The radio bleeps in the police car nearby.]

Dispatcher:
Officers, 311, be advised.

[Helen runs to a police car.]

Annie:
Oh, something's happening.

Dispatcher:
This is an all-points bulletin. Be on the lookout for Half-Pint Harry and Noodleneck Ned. They've escaped custody and gone on a crime spree.

Helen:
[Gasps] A crime spree! Are there are leads? Let's partner up and bust those bad guys.

[Annie and Pony begin to get excited.]

Cop:
Listen, lady. The police, the real police, are on this. Don't you go messing it up. [drives off]

Helen:
[disappointed] Snooby real cops.

Pony:
I think Clara's gonna be a bit disappointed.

Annie:
Oh, no, you're right! Everyone's skipping the movie to come and see Cop Mom. If she doesn't do some exciting cop stuff, they'll be mad at us. We need to do something to make her look cool, like... like some kind of crime.

Pony:
[with a concrete brick in his hoofs] On it!

Annie:
[grabs Pony to prevent him from leaving] No, no, no, no. Not that. Something... something else.

Pony:
We could... kidnap Gerry.

Annie:
No, Pony.

Pony:
Tie Gerry to the railroad tracks?

Annie:
No, leave Gerry alone.

Pony:
We'll kidnap Heston.

Annie:
[angrily] Stop kidnapping people! We need something smaller, like a... [notices some cones] We could do something with those cones. Like, set them up so that they cause some trouble.

[The scene cuts to the apartment where we can see George Bramley in his robe in the bathroom about to take a bath holding his pickle sandwich.]

George:
Ah, heaven. [the pickle in the sandwich drops on the floor again, George is about to eat it before he notices it's missing] Huh? [takes a step around and slips on the pickle] Aah! Oof! [the pickle slides into the hallway and then into the kitchen; groans]

[The scene cuts back to the street Clara comes in from around the corner.]

Annie:
Hey, Clara. You made it.

Clara:
Yeah, yeah. Where is she, where's Cop Mom?

Pony:
On the case. (Right over there.)

[The scene moves to Helen hearing a honking sound, she runs to the noise to find the cars in a traffic jam cause by some cones lying in the street. Helen runs in, she hops over a red car and grabs a cone and another one and a bunch more and sets them nearby a blue car. She then grabs a stop and go sign to direct traffic on the road. Annie, Pony and Clara notice Mr. Van Winkle reading a newspaper with him about to walk into a manhole, they all gasp. Helen notices it and uses some tape and tosses it around a cone. Mr. Van Winkle notices and drops his newspaper. Annie, Pony and Clara are all in relief.]

[The scene cuts back to the apartment again. George can be seen coming into the kitchen looking for the pickle he dropped earlier.]

George:
Hm. Where are you, you little green–? Aah! [slips on the pickle again and it drops off the balcony; groans] (This will be a long day.)

[We now see it cut back to the street again, Helen can be knocking away a cone, the scene then moves to Annie, Pony and Clara peeking around the corner.]

Annie:
Good, right?

Clara:
Yeah, that was great. [Heston topples on top of her]

Heston:
What did I miss? [Then Brian comes in and topples on top of him]

Brian:
Was it cool? What happened so far?

Clara:
So that's Cop Mom. You just missed a cool action sequence. But, I think it's gonna get better, right, Annie?

Annie:
Um... yeah. Just keep watching. [Annie and Pony move into the corner and the rest of her friends topple over off-screen] We've got gotta do something else, Pony.

Pony:
[Gasps]

Annie:
No kidnapping.

Pony:
Oh [Gasps]

Annie:
I said no kidnapping.

Pony:
Oh.

Annie:
We need a big case, Pony.

Pony:
Leave it to me. I know what to do. [The scene cuts to outside the cafe where Pony can be seen painting something on a wall. Annie looks at the graffiti on the wall]

Annie:
Cops don't ride rocket-powered llamas.

Pony:
Yeah, they do. Now we just call Mom and get her to the scene of the crime.

Officer (Pony):
[off-screen] It's over, Half-Pint Harry and Noodleneck Ned! Come out with your hands up!

Ned:
Harry, we're surrounded. We're coming out!

Harry:
What? Who's out there? [Noodleneck Ned opens the door]

Ned:
There's everything, Harry. There's cops. There's cops in cars. Cops on rocket-powered llamas!

Harry:
Rocket-powered llamas? Cops don't ride rocket-powered llamas. It's a trick! [Ned squints his eyes and begins to see the cops as just graffiti, Harry then stares at them on the wall] They're all just lousy pictures. What's the matter with you?

Ned:
I don't have my glasses. They wouldn't fit over my mask.

Harry:
[Facepalms] Ugh! Come on, let's get outta here.

[Both of them attempt to run off, but they both pulled by some tape used by Helen, and fall to the ground]

Brian, Clara, and Heston:
Wow!

Annie and Pony:
[Singing] Cop Mom!

Helen:
Annie?

Annie:
Hey, Mom. [They both run to each other]

Brian:
Wow, Annie. Your mom really is cool.

Annie:
I never needed to fake anything to show how cool you are.

Helen:
Well, maybe now you'll realize parents can be cool.

Harry:
[runs away] That's what you think! You'll never take me in, Cop Mom! [tries to run off, but ends up slipping on the pickle from earlier]

George:
[can be seen coming in pick it up] Ha, ha, ha! [puts it back in his sandwich, sighs, about to eat it, but stops suddenly] Huh? [Everyone glances at George in the distance] What? (Why are you guys looking at me like that?)

Annie:
Come on, you're taking forever.

Pony:
Found it.

Annie:
That's the first one you tried on.

Pony:
Oh, maybe. I should–

Annie:
No, no, no. That one's perfect.

Pony:
Okay.

Annie:
Come on, let's go.

Pony:
Snow fun, here we come.

Brian:
Ha, it's Pony. What's he doing?

Heston:
Who (knows or) cares? Load up. Hey, Pony! Eat snow!

Pony:
Cold thunder!