Jekyll, Season One

Tom:
[After changing from Hyde] Just once. Seriously, just bloody once, could you tell me where you parked?

Katherine:
Good morning. [Puts a glass of whiskey on the table.]

Tom:
I don't drink whiskey.

Katherine:
It's not for you. I didn't know who to expect.

Tom:
You don't do crosswords.

Peter:
How do you know?

Tom:
They're for fun.

Peter:
[Sarcastically] Good Lord, really?

Peter:
I'm fairly certain you used to have some sort of ego...

Tom:
I did. It got so big it left me.

Peter:
Actually that's quite funny.

Tom:
Oh, you've no idea.

Hyde:
First fag of the day, always hits the spot!

Billie:
You stay away from me... I'll hurt you!

Hyde:
Yeah, ya think? [burns cigarette into his own hand] Don't worry: I have a good doctor. [checks the burn] It'll hurt more tomorrow, which works for me!

Hyde:
The night is young, there's a beautiful girl, and somebody's going to die. That's you, by the way.

Hyde:
Trust me, the neck's good: quick for you, easy for me, everybody's happy.

Hyde:
I don't get a lot of pleasure out of killing children... [seemingly breaks a boy's neck] ...but I get enough.

Hyde:
Let's play lioooonns!

Hyde:
[Talking to a barmaid about choosing a name] Billy. What do you think? Could I be a Billy?

Barman:
You were in here before, weren't you?

Hyde:
Yeah!

Barman:
Yeah... I'm surprised you can remember it.

Hyde:
My liver applied for a transplant. This time, let's not give it the chance.

[Hyde's having sex with a girl in a pub's back room. He has no name yet]

Barman:
Mr. Hyde... [Knocks on the door. Nothing]

Barman:
Mr. Hyde... [Knocks again. Nothing]

Barman:
Mr. Hyde, I saw you go in there [Hyde opens the door with half his clothes off]

Hyde:
Who the f*** is Mr. Hyde?!?!

Barman:
[Surprised] You are.

Hyde:
Says who?!

[Hyde is interrupted whilst having sex]

Benjamin Lennox:
I hope I didn't catch you in the middle of someone.

[Hyde stares at Katharine's breast]

Hyde:
If Jackman gets a hard-on, I'm it.

Katherine:
That's interesting because I've always thought of you like a bit of a hard-on.

Hyde:
Oh?

Katherine:
Usually disappointing.

[Jackman takes up a cd]

Tom:
[Reading aloud] "The Lion King and other Disney Favourites".

Katherine:
[Takes the cd] Oh, that's his, I should put it away...

Tom:
He has Disney favourites?

Katherine:
He likes the songs.

Tom:
My dark side likes Mary Poppins, no wonder I was bullied at school.

[Katherine meets Hyde for the first time]

Hyde:
[Sniffs deeply] Ooh, nice! But that's not your usual perfume - there's another one underneath. Special scent for today, then. For him? For me?

[Katherine plays Tom's message on the recorder for Hyde]

Hyde:
It's raining, it's pouring, Jackman is boring.

Hyde:
Is he doing you?

Katherine:
No.

Hyde:
Can I?

Katherine:
No.

Hyde [Sneering]:
Then what are you for?

Katherine:
I'm your new nanny.

Hyde [Agitated, as a kid]:
Oooh, Mary Poppins! I love Mary Poppins, I could EAT Mary Poppins!

Hyde:
Here's the deal. Here's the job. As long as the lights and the cameras are on, you're safe. Lights out- you're dinner. What do you think?

Katherine:
You must have quite an appetite.

Katherine:
Have you been drinking? Don't tell me you took the car.

Tom:
'He' drank, 'He' took the car, why am 'I' getting the look?

Katherine:
How was your driving?

Tom:
...Expressive.

Benjamin:
The most powerful creature on the planet, that's what I'm lookin' at. The fastest. The smartest. The best. And you're British - so it's even funny.

[Hyde has just comandeered the serveillance van parked outside the lion pen, with Christopher Browning inside.]

Hyde:
Sorry Christopher, that's enough zoo for today! [Browning lunges, Hyde knocks him out with one punch] My Daddy wants a word with you. [Starts driving]

Hyde:
[As a voice in Tom's head] Wakey, wakey...

[Tom awakes to find himself in a strange room. He follows the sign Hyde left on the door into the next room to find a tied up Christopher waiting for him.]

Christopher:
Dr. Jackman?

Tom:
Who are you? What's your name?

Christopher:
Christopher Browning.

Tom:
Christopher Browning. You put my son in a cage, with lions, Christopher Browning. Why?

Christopher:
I was ordered to.

Tom:
Why?

Christopher:
To make you change.

Tom:
Why?

Christopher:
[Giving up] I don't know why.

Tom:
One, Last, Chance, Why?

Christopher:
I don't know.

Tom:
[Warningly] Don't lie to me! Don't annoy me! That's not a good way to go! You've heard of good cop, bad cop? [Gestures to himself]] This is the movie!

Hyde:
I love children, me, snack sized people, always leave you wanting more.

[Jackman allows Hyde to take over to beat Christopher Browning]

Christopher Browning:
What is this?

Hyde:
BAD NEWS!

[Later, in a hospital, Hyde walks in carrying a sack containing Browning's beaten remains]

Nurse:
What's that?

Hyde:
Entirely up to you of course, but I'd say... [He drops the sack, which groans] ...the front of the queue!

Hyde:
[after locking Katherine in the house] Oh Katherine, alone at last.

Katherine:
Mr. Hyde, you don't play these games - not with me. You've always had more sense.

Hyde:
Know what I've got now? You.

[Katherine searches for the fuse]

Hyde:
I've also got the main fuse.

[Katherine searches for her keys]

Hyde:
Yep, took your keys.

[Katherine searches for Hyde's keys]

Hyde:
Took my keys too.

Katherine:
You won't hurt me.

Hyde:
I'll eat you!

Katherine:
[talking about Tom] I know how he thinks.

Hyde:
I am how he thinks!

Katherine:
Then you have a problem, because he likes me.

Hyde:
Bet your life?

Hyde:
She's running, she's crying, she turned off the lights and she's dying!

[At the zoo, Peter Syme takes one bite of his sandwich and throws the rest in the bin.]

Tom:
What's wrong with it?

Peter:
The meat wasn't fresh. Now there's really no excuse for that in a zoo, is there?

[Katherine makes it out of the house, but Hyde is behind her]

Hyde:
Come to daddy!

Tom:
Time of the month?

Katherine:
Bit rich, coming from the wolf-man.

Hyde:
Ever killed anyone, Benjamin?

Benjamin:
Not personally; I have people.

Hyde:
You're missing out - it's like sex, only there's a winner.

Benjamin:
Kid seems a little... freaked.

Hyde:
Well, yeah, what can you do? Somebody tried to feed him to a lion...

Tom's mother [about Hyde]:
He'll grow stronger with every day...

Tom:
I will fight him! I will never stop fighting him!

Tom's mother:
Then he will kill you.

Tom:
Then I won't die! I have a family. I have a wife and children, I won't die! I don't have the time.

Peter:
Scotch alright for you?

Tom:
I said I didn't want a drink!

Peter:
You might change your mind.

Tom:
Oh, you've no idea.

Peter:
Oh, I'm afraid I do.

[Peter injects Tom with a strong sedative]

Tom:
Listen to me! Listen to me! What sends me to sleep wakes him up! You just committed suicide!

[Tom is threatening Peter with a knife whilst Hyde is trying to awaken]

Peter:
Tom, a knife? Seriously? You'd never use it, Tom.

Tom:
You wait; If Hyde wakes up now with a knife to your throat he'll think it's Christmas; Sit! On! The chair!

Peter:
You could have killed me!

Tom:
Yes, and this is my good side!

Claire:
Tom?

Hyde:
'Tom'? Tom's gone, honey. Dr. Jackman has left the building. It's the night shift.

Hyde:
Listen, can I tell ya, I haven't f***ed anything in days, seriously a gust of wind and I go off! So, nothing personal but I hope you don't have any plans that involve walking straight. [Turns to Peter] You either.

[Hyde finds a knife]

Hyde:
Fantast-ische!

Peter:
You've never killed before!

Hyde:
Well stop me in the middle if I'm doing it wrong.

Claire:
You're Tom Jackman.

Hyde:
No, we just share a dick.

Claire:
Yeah, and it's mine.

Colonel Hart:
First casualty of conflict; orders...

Hyde:
[Motioning to Benjamin's body on the ground] As far as this conflict's concerned I think Benjamin might beg to differ...

Hyde:
Can't tell you how fast I am, don't know exactly, but I can tell you this. First one of you that starts getting nervous, starts pulling that trigger? Dead. Then I'll have a gun and that's the next two, dead. Third one kills me, then dies of his injuries. So what you guys gotta ask yourselves is this... How much did I like my boss?

Hyde:
[With dramatic flourish] Gentlemen! If any harm should come to Mrs. Jackman, I will kill all of you one by one! And I shall take my time...!

[Hyde leaves after killing Benjamin]

Hyde:
Hope you find a nicer boss.

Peter:
I apologize in advance for the quality of the coffee.

Claire:
You have some questions?

Peter:
A few, yes.

Claire:
You have my husband in a box!

Tom:
So what do you think?

Tom's Friend:
Of what?

Tom:
My symptoms.

Tom's Friend:
Look them up on the internet.

Tom:
You're a doctor.

Tom's Friend:
Yes, I'm a doctor. Know what I do with symptoms? I look them up on the internet.

[Tom is denied access to work when a machine fails to recognise his thumbprint]

Tom:
Did I bring the wrong thumb?

[Claire is told that Tom/Hyde is somehow a relation to Jekyll and the original Hyde]

Claire:
Well isn't that just so typical. Well that's so like a man, isn't it? There's always something they're not telling you - "Sorry, hun, should have mentioned I'm Dracula!"

Hyde:
[from a recording] You've got a vivid imagination, Daddy... I've been there.

Hyde:
[referring to Tom] The doctor... is out!

Peter:
Security! Get security in here now!

Hyde:
He's out of my head - hallelujah! Home alone.

Hyde:
Oh, this feels good - roomy! Look at all this space; I could put up shelves!

Hyde:
[talking about Tom] Search me, love, he was in here a minute ago. Turn my back and whoosh, not even a tip on the dresser - men! Oh, this feels so peaceful, love it. No more boring little doctor yapping away in the corner. Honestly, you have no idea; "don't do this," "don't do that," "don't kill her," "your turn to shave," and if I had another argument about who was biting the fingernails - Oh! Did that bug you, the fingernails, did he do that when he was with you? We should talk, you and me - we're fellow sufferers, we should have a cup of coffee and have a good old chin-wag about him. The wife, and the ex, girls together, all friends now - the bastard's dead.

Hyde:
The thing about consuming an alter-ego, bit like a Chinese, a minute later you're hungry again. Hello boys!

Scientist:
Basically, you may not be stabilized... It's for your own good, basically.

Hyde:
Okay Mr. Basically, talk to me like you know me again, in public, where people can see, and the next sound you hear will be your own neck snapping. Do we have a basis for communication?

Hyde:
I can smell your sweat. [sniffs air] Vegetarian. [sniffs air] Ruff! You've got a dog. Woof woof! Two dogs, big dogs. I vant to say Alsatian...

Peter:
Is he correct, Colonel Hart?

Colonel Hart:
Yes sir, he's correct

Hyde:
[puts finger on Colonel Hart's face then licks his finger] Mmm! Tasty! 57 years old. Ex-smoker. Gave up two years ago... [checks the taste in his mouth] Yep, two years ago, two years... [looks down, voice growing softer] ...and too late. It's started already, hasn't it? Rustling away down there, growing in the dark. Hello Mr. Tumor, goodbye daylight. [beat][perkily] Am I right?!

Peter:
Is he right, Colonel Hart?

Colonel Hart:
Yes sir, he's right.

Hyde:
'Course I'm right! Two years, I'd say, then it's night night Colonel Cancer. [mock salutes] Sir!

Claire:
Stop that!

Hyde:
Oh ohhh, it's the missus!

[Hyde discovers he can see Tom's memories]

Hyde:
I've got rewind. Look at that. I've got digital rewind - It's like Sky Plus in here!

[Hyde watches a memory of Claire about to undress for Tom]

Hyde:
I finally found the adult channels.

Claire:
What does that mean?

Hyde:
You know the way you sometimes think men are mentally undressing you? [Leers at Claire] Peanuts!

[Claire slaps him, which causes Hyde to see a new memory]

Hyde:
[Complaining] She switched channels!

Hyde:
[Holding Claire] Let's give him a memory he's never gonna be able to live with!

Claire:
You just buckle up, he'll come back... killing me won't be enough.

Hyde:
Oh, honey, not nearly enough...

Claire:
I changed my mind.

Hyde:
Know the feeling.

Hyde:
Okay-dokey, you first.

Claire:
Why me?

Hyde:
Fantastic arse.

Scientist:
Excuse me, who are you?

Hyde:
Oh, that's a point, better kill you.

Hyde:
Trust me, I'm a psychopath!

[Hyde tries to remember if Tom ever had a helicopter flying lesson]

Hyde:
Wait, he had a lesson - yeah, he did, I thought he did - I've got him sitting in a helicopter. No it's a moped, no it's a helicopter.

Claire:
Oh Jesus Christ.

Hyde:
Actually could have been a horse. [Shaking his head in a vague way] His attention really wandered, didn't it?

Tom Jackman:
Sorry, but you won't be dealing with Junior anymore. Daddy's home.

Ms. Utterson:
Mrs. Jackman.

Claire Jackman:
Mrs. Hyde. For now. Just so you remember. Just so you keep in mind what's coming... I'm Mrs. Hyde. And honey... Just you wait until my husband gets home.

[Hyde just threw off the best man Klein and Utterson could get to catch him]

Hyde:
Best you got? 'Cause if that's the best you've got, Mr. Syme, I'll tell you what the word is. [Jumps on the edge of the roof] The word... is HYDE! [Falls backwards off the ledge and out of sight]

Tom's mother:
People think that Hyde is Rage. Or Hate. Or Greed. Or Lust. But Hyde is far worse.

Claire Jackman:
Then what is he?

Tom's mother:
[beat] What was the first day you knew you could kill someone, anyone at all, if you had to?

Claire Jackman:
The day I first held my children.

Tom's mother:
It's our oldest, deadliest impulse, the need to protect our own at the expense of any other living thing. And we give that impulse such a nice name, don't we? Hyde... is Love. And Love is a psychopath.

Peter Syme:
[Knowing he's about to die] Is there a way for me to...

Tom:
[sighs] Tell me... how you... justify what you've done. Explain to me how can you be forgiven for it.

Peter Syme [After a bit of pause]:
Is he listening?

Tom:
Yes.

Peter:
He's a psychopath, for God's sake!

Tom:
Aren't we all?

[Hyde has been shot repeatedly, and is covered in blood]

Hyde:
Look at that... Look what you did... This was CLEAN ON THIS MORNING!

Hyde:
What? You think that's enough? For me? I'M MR. HYYYDE! Show a little respect!

[Hyde's last words]

Hyde:
Here it comes... Tickles...

[Jackman about Hyde's disappearance]:
I thought it would feel good...

Tom's mother:
Your father was a good man. A very good man. I miss him.

Tom:
But he wasn't a Jekyll.

Tom's mother:
A good man until the day he died.

Tom:
What did he die of? What killed him?

Tom's mother:
Hm? Oh, I expect I did. I must check.