Justice League, Season Three

Green Arrow:
C'mon, I don't belong up here, fighting monsters and aliens and supervillians. I just help the little guy. And a big club like this, you tend to forget all about him. So gee whiz, I'm flattered to be asked and all. But no thanks.

Batman:
Suit yourself... [starts to walk away, then turns back] Those monsters you don't fight? They tend to step on little guys.

Green Arrow:
Is that a Containment suit?

Captain Atom:
Uh-huh. I'm not flesh and blood anymore, just living energy.

Green Arrow:
That wouldn't be nuclear energy, would it?

Captain Atom:
With a name like Captain Atom, what do you think?

Green Arrow:
I think you're what I marched against back in college.

Supergirl:
Why don't you take the stick out, Corporal?

Captain Atom:
Captain.

Supergirl:
He asked you a question!

General Kwan:
Don't answer him! That's classified inform-

Supergirl:
[picks him up] I've just about had it with you guys! You've got 'til the count of five. One... Four... [her eyes start to glow]

Captain Atom:
I'd speak up if I were you.

Green Arrow:
So what's the plan?

Captain Atom:
I shove these carbon rods in the robots reactor, that should stop it.

Green Arrow:
I gotta say that's not much of a plan, if you get that close the heat will fry you

Captain Atom:
I know

Green Arrow:
But..

Captain Atom:
If this doesn't work, contact the League, they'll know what to do next.

Green Arrow:
Captain.

[Green Arrow shakes hands with Captain Atom]

Supergirl:
So, aren't you gonna give me the "you did good" speech?

Green Lantern:
You're headstrong, unprofessional and reckless. If you ever jeopardize yourself or your teammates again by running off half-cocked without a battle plan, I will personally see to it that you are kicked out of the League, I don't care who your cousin is. [He turns and begins to leave] And incidentally, you did good.

[Showers/locker room area]

Batman:
Well, if it isn't the monster-killer.

Green Arrow:
I was lucky. So was everybody else. Still don't think I belong up here.

Batman:
That's the point. Someone like you will keep us honest.

Green Arrow:
Gee, Bats, I don't know. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy a good radiation burn as much as the next guy, but I don't think...

[Loses his train of thought as he sees Black Canary across the room, pulling up her boots.]

Batman:
So...see you soon?

Green Arrow:
You just might.

[Getting Superman a gift.]

Batman:
What'd you get him?

Wonder Woman:
I'm not saying anything [whispering] He'll hear, and spoil the surprise.

Batman:
He can hear that, too.

Wonder Woman:
How about you?

Batman:
He's not the easiest person in the world to buy birthday presents for. [holds up an envelope]

Wonder Woman:
Bruce... you didn't get him a gift certificate?

Batman:
[offended] No! ...cash.

Batman:
Mongul!

Mongul:
You recognize me! I'm flattered. I suppose Superman told you all about our previous encounter.

Batman:
You mean how he humiliated you?

Mongul:
A... jaundiced account.

Mongul:
The Black Mercy is a telepathic species. It reads the heart's desire and feeds the individual a totally convincing simulation of it.

Batman:
So he's dreaming.

Mongul:
Oh, far deeper than any dream. I wonder where he thinks he is. Sitting on a throne, ruling the universe. All you human garbage fawning at his feet. More honest, don't you think? Than this pretense of being a selfless hero.

Mongul:
You don't understand. He was the only obstacle in my way. The rest of you... are already dead.

[On Krypton; Kal-El is with his son Van-El on the roof of his father's lab, as Van looks through a telescope]

Van-El:
Dad!

[The ground shakes]

Van-El:
Dad? You've gotta look at thi-

[Sees Kal-El's troubled expression]

Van-El:
What's...what's the matter? Why are you -

Kal-El:
Van, when you were born, it was the happiest day of my life. When I first saw your beautiful little face, your tiny fingers squeezed my hand so tight, like you never wanted to let go. I've watched every step, every struggle...I-I've... but, Van...[eyes begin to water] oh, Rao help me... but I don't think you're real. I don't think any of this is-is real..

Van-El:
Don't say that, Daddy...please, you're scaring me... [hugs his father]

Kal-El:
No, no, I don't want to scare you, Van. You are everything I ever wanted in a son. This...this is everything I ever wanted in a life. But I've got responsibilities, Van, and I...have to...go now...

[Hugs his son as Krypton begins to tear itself apart, and kisses him on the forehead]

Van-El:
[Tearful] Daddy...

Kal-El:
I promise you... I'll never forget.

[Krypton explodes]

Superman:
Do you have any idea what you did to me?!

Mongul:
I fashioned a prison that you couldn't leave without sacrificing your heart's desire. It must have been like tearing off your own arm.

Mongul:
Happy birthday, Kryptonian. I give you... oblivion.

Superman:
BURN! [ignites Mongul with heat vision]

Mongul:
You know, for a moment there, I almost believed you were going to kill me. How stupid of you to hesitate like that. Not a mistake I'll make, I can assure you.

[Mongul is ensnared by the Black Mercy]

Wonder Woman:
I wonder what he's seeing.

Batman:
Whatever it is, it's too good for him.

[The camera draw closer to Mongul's beaten face, who's trying to give a small, satisfied smile while low sounds of screams and explosions are heard in background]

[All the adults have been banished from the earth, courtesy of Mordred.]

Copperhead:
It was Judgment Day! And we got sent to the bad place! THE BAD PLACE!

Cheetah:
[slaps him] Snap out of it, Copper.

Green Lantern:
Yeah, calm down. We're probably just in another dimension.

Copperhead:
[sarcastic] Oh, is that all?

[Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, and Green Lantern have been turned into children.]

Batman:
This better be temporary.

Superman:
You sound weird, Whoa. So do I!

Wonder Woman:
[Grinning at being the tallest] I kind of like this.

Batman:
[to Green Lantern] What's the matter?

Green Lantern:
I wore glasses as a kid. Guess I need them again. [large, square, green glasses appear on his nose] Wow! I didn't even try to make these!

[Superman cracks up]

Batman:
I hope not.

[Green Lantern strains and morphs the glasses into a mask]

Superman:
Cool!

Wonder Woman:
[smacks him] Will you stop messing around? We gotta find Mordred!

Batman:
Bet the little punk's in there! [runs towards the castle. Green Lantern, Superman, and Wonder Woman all quickly overtake him by flying] It's not a race!

[Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, and Green Lantern have been turned into children, and are confronting Mordred ]

Mordred:
The Justice Babies! [laughs]

Kid Batman:
What are you laughing at, Precious?

Mordred:
You. Mother sent you, huh? She shouldn't send a boy to do a man's job!

Kid Green Lantern:
I'll make a laser cannon! No! A missile launcher! Oh, oh, I know!

Kid Batman:
Just pick something!

[Kid Green Lantern makes a boxing glove]

[Kid Batman is having trouble with a guard, Kid Wonder Woman punches it in the leg, causing it to shatter, then catches Kid Batman as he falls.]

Kid Wonder Woman:
You okay, tough guy?

Kid Batman:
Let go, I'm fine! [Stalks away, pouting]

[The group is thrown into a dungeon; a (toddlerized) Demon comes out.]

Kid Batman:
Etrigan?

[Baby Etrigan breathes fire out of his mouth and is caught by Superman.]

Kid Batman:
[to Superman] Don't hurt him!

Kid Superman:
[being bitten by Etrigan] Tell him that!

Kid Wonder Woman:
Etrigan! You stop right there. I mean it! You naughty monster. Bad, bad Etrigan! [Etrigan starts to cry. Wonder Woman picks him up] Hey little guy, it's okay, I won't hurt you.

Kid Batman:
You've got to be kidding.

Kid Wonder Woman:
He's just a baby. [Burps Etrigan] That's all he needed.

Kid Green Lantern:
[sniffs] Aww man, that ain't all he needs.

Kid Batman:
Now that is a job for Superman.

Kid Wonder Woman:
That's ENOUGH!

Little girl:
You can't tell us what to do! You're not our mom!

Kid Wonder Woman:
No, but I promise, we will find all your moms. And I'm gonna tell!

Little girl:
Well, what should we do?

Kid Wonder Woman:
Go outside and wait for your parents. NOW! [kids groan and leave; Wonder Woman grins at Batman and leaves]

Kid Green Lantern:
[to Batman] Your girlfriend sure is bossy.

Kid Batman:
Shut up!

Kid Superman:
You two, knock it off!

Child:
What are you gonna do? You're just a kid!

Kid Superman:
[burns the ground near them with his heat vision] I'm the kid with laser beams comin' out his eyes!

Kid Wonder Woman:
He's almost asleep. We can take him.

Kid Green Lantern:
I'll make a lawnmower and chew him up!

Kid Batman:
I say we get that amulet away from him first. We'll split up and sneak behind him; then Lantern can do his thing. But no mowers.

Kid Green Lantern:
Why?

Kid Superman:
Because it's stupid!

Kid Wonder Woman:
I guess I'll go with Clark. Unless I should go with you...

Kid Batman:
Whatever.

Kid Superman:
I'm fine to go with Diana.

Kid Green Lantern:
So Bruce and I are good to go?

Kid Wonder Woman:
I changed my mind. I'll go with Bruce, and John can go with Clark.

Kid Batman:
Whatever! [Kid Wonder Woman grabs Kid Batman's hand and pulls him after her]

Kid Superman:
What's with them?

Kid Green Lantern:
Man! For someone with like, fifty different kinds of vision, you are so blind!

Kid Superman:
What?

Kid Green Lantern:
I've got a plan! I'll make some giant handcuffs and--

Kid Batman:
Forget it!

[After the League members been changed back to adults, Wonder Woman is still holding Etrigan]

Etrigan:
...Mommy.

[Wonder Woman drops Etrigan, looking somewhere between disgusted and annoyed]

Batman:
Wait, what happened to Mordred?

Morgaine le Fey:
My spell gave him eternal youth. But now he has broken it, all he has is eternal life.

Wonder Woman:
Circumstances asides, it was kind of... enjoyable being a kid again.

Batman:
I haven't been a kid since I was eight years old.

Morgaine le Fey:
[Approaches an impossibly old, feeble and senile Mordred] Did you miss Mommy? Well, don't you worry, baby, Mommy's going to take good care of you. From now on.

[Wonder Woman is being shot at by a bank robbber who has run out of bullets and is about to throw his gun at her.]

Wonder Woman:
(sarcastically) Yeah, that's gonna work.

Wonder Woman:
What's wrong with people, J'onn? Hostility is their answer to everything!

Martian Manhunter:
You're not one to talk of late.

Wonder Woman:
What's that supposed to mean?

Martian Manhunter:
Diana, you and I have both been affected by our time among humans. It's important that we keep ourselves in check.

Wonder Woman:
First of all, those thugs back there got exactly what they had coming. As did that band of mercenaries last week. And those creatures from the Decoran Nebula - they weren't misunderstood! They thought we were food!

Hank:
Fine mess here, Don.

Don:
Talk to them, you speak Neanderthal!

Hank:
I think they're done talking.

Don:
This is ridiculous! Just because I disagree with you doesn't make me unpatriotic.

Frat Boy:
No, you bein' a bleedin' heart punk makes you unpatriotic!

Hank:
Actually, I gotta agree with him on that one.

Don:
Look, we got off on the wrong foot. Don't you think we could find plenty of things we all have in common if we just tried?

Frat Boy:
[ Pauses for a moment looking slightly puzzled] ...No!

Don:
Hank, say something!

Hank:
[punches one of the frat boys and gives Don a look] Preemptive strike.

[ Hawk and Dove find themselves in a barroom brawl]

Dove:
Oh, you so wanted to do this!

Hawk:
Don't blame me! You're the one who couldn't keep your trap shut!

Hawk:
Why not just let them obliterate each other? If people can't control their own country, they don't deserve to have one.

Dove:
Way to oversimplify. These folks live in poverty, and when you have so little, it's easy to be swayed into blaming your neighbour. Almost all aggression can be cured with education.

Hawk:
Yeah? Then how come some of the best-educated guys in the world work at the Pentagon?

Hawk:
There's no one inside that thing! How do you fight that?

Wonder Woman:
You hit it 'til it breaks.

Ares:
I think like a South Kasnian?! Has it even entered your skull that they think like South Kasnians?! And you'd better start thinking that way, too, if you want there to be a Northerner left in this rat-infested dirt heap you call a country! All any of you mortals are good for is to slaughter one another! To fight and fight until the bones of your enemies are strewn across the battlefield, only to rise again in the next generation, like a well-tended crop! That's what the Annihilator is for! But nooo, you're using it to play tag!

[Hawk attempts to kidnap the South Kasnian leader]

Hawk:
Ever run away from home? It's fun; you'll love it. [Grabs leader out of bed] Brother and I used to do it all the time. 'Cept, he'd always wuss out and run home to Mama...

(Hawk is watching many Kasnians fighting and blowing things up)

Hawk:
I see Don's social skills had their usual effect...

Hawk:
Anybody wanna give me a clue what just happened?

Wonder Woman:
Sometimes, it takes more strength not to fight.

Batman:
Patience, princess. Intergang moves in mysterious ways.

Wonder Woman:
Tell me about it. What use could they possibly have for the Rosetta Stone?

Batman:
We'll find out soon enough. And in the meantime...

Wonder Woman:
I know. Patience.

Wonder Woman:
Don't you ever wish you were down there?

Batman:
I'm down there all I need to be.

Wonder Woman:
Yes, but it's just a job to you. I'm talking about going down there and having some fun. Maybe... maybe with someone special.

Batman:
[Frowns and looks away]...

Wonder Woman:
No. No dating for the Batman. It might cut into your brooding time.

Batman:
One: dating within the team always leads to disaster. Two: you're a princess from a society of immortal warriors; I'm a rich kid with issues... lots of issues. And three: if my enemies knew I had someone special, they wouldn't rest until they'd gotten to me, through her.

Wonder Woman:
[Crushes a stone gargoyle head with her hand] Next?

Wonder Woman:
Saved by the bell.

Wonder Woman:
Circe! Be careful, she's...

Batman:
Yeah. I've read the Odyssey.

Red Tornado:
SOOOOOOO-WEEEEEEEEEE...

Zatanna:
[trying to turn Wonder Woman back to normal and failing] Lleps eb nekorb! Anaid moceb namuh! Well, I've given it my best shots. I guess my powers run a distant second to that of a goddess. We could call in one of the other league magicians. Dr. Fate, maybe--

Batman:
No! I mean, let's keep this between us.

Zatanna:
But why? If there's a chance to help Diana, shouldn't we tell everyone and that... oh, wait wait... you and her, are you two...

Batman:
Just good friends.

Zatanna:
No, you and I are just good friends. There's something more between you and Diana.

Batman:
Well, maybe there was.

B'wana Beast:
[introducing himself to Zatanna] B'wana Beast. How ya doin'?

Zatanna:
My legs are fine. As is the rest of me. Up here. [pointing to her face]

B'wana Beast:
Woah, she's got the fire of the cheetah in her. Rrroowr.

Zatanna:
[to Batman] Why are you doing this to me?

B'wana Beast:
[Talking to pigs, trying to find Wonder Woman] C'mon guys, help me out. Newcomer, silver bracelets. Kinda stuck up.

Crimson Avenger:
Excuse me, sir, I'm looking for a pig.

Old man:
Gladys, it's for you!

Circe:
Thank you, thank you. You've all been so kind to me tonight. You know, my cousins the Sirens never thought I could sing. Really! They thought they were all bad with their 'Charm the Sailors' routine. But I'm showing them, aren't I?

[Dead silence. Circe glares - the audience applauses]

Circe:
Oh thank you! I love you all! Are there any requests?

Zatanna:
Stcejbo kcatta ecric!

Circe:
I'm not sure I know that one.

Circe:
[under attack by Zatanna] Insolent trickster! You dare to strike- [gets hit by a chair] You dare to strike- [gets hit by a table] You dare to strike- [gets smothered by a tablecloth] QUIT IT! Oh, no... [gets hit by a grand piano]

Medusa:
C-Girl and me did some time together back in the Pit of Eternal Torment. That's where they hang you by your ankles and weasels come each night to eat your fingers. They grow back the next day, but trust me - it gets old real quick.

Themis:
Thank you, Medusa. And know that you've earned 300 years off your sentence.

Medusa:
[sarcastic] Freedom in 4010. Ring-a-ding-ding!

Batman:
Wait. It seems that magic always has a price.

Circe:
And your point is...?

Batman:
What would I have to give to make you lift your spell on Diana?

Circe:
Well, now you're getting interesting. I want something from you that's very precious. Something you've worked very hard to conceal. Something when gone, you can never regain. Something soul-shattering...

[cut to Batman at a mike]

Batman:
[singing] Am I blue? Am I blue? Ain't these tears in my eyes telling you...

Zatanna:
[to Batman, after he leaves the stage] Is there anything you can't do?

Batman:
There's one thing I've never been very good at - saying thank you. [they share a smile]

Green Arrow:
Don't listen to this guy, everything's conspiracies with him.

The Question:
Not "conspiracies". Conspiracy. Singular.

The Question:
Reaching back to ancient Egypt, there's been a single cabal of powerful individuals directing the course of human history. But the common man prefers to believe they don't exist, which aids their success.

Supergirl:
[reading newspaper clippings] Global warming, military upheavals in the third world, actors elected to public office...

Green Arrow:
The spread of coffee bars, germs outpacing antibiotics, and boy bands? Come on! Who would gain from all this?

The Question:
Who, indeed?

Supergirl:
These weren't just dreams, they felt like they really happened!

Green Arrow:
I dunno, I've had some dreams that felt mighty real. (glances over his shoulder at Black Canary) There was this one the other night... (eats a French fry thoughtfully)

Green Arrow:
Hold your horses! No one asked for more help. This whole trip might just prove the kid shouldn't eat nachos before bed.

The Question:
Peanut butter sandwiches.

Supergirl:
How did y-- what, do you go through my trash?!

The Question:
Please... I go through everyone's trash.

Green Arrow:
Does everything have a sinister motive in your world?

The Question:
Yours, too. You just don't know it.

Green Arrow:
What was that about?

The Question:
What do you think? We're asking questions someone doesn't want answered.

Green Arrow:
Aw, learn a new tune already!

[Supergirl has just been attacked by an android.]

The Question:
Standard Z8 Combat Trainer.

Green Arrow:
Like the ones we use. The League buys 'em in bulk.

Supergirl:
So?

The Question:
So who do we buy them from?

Supergirl:
The Army I thin... Oh, wait a minute...

The Question:
Another fun fact: The man who commissioned the Z8 Project? The same man who put you in the hospital.

Supergirl:
General Hardcastle? He's retired now, isn't he?

The Question:
Gone. And hoping to be forgotten.

[Question comes to a door locked with a key card reader after studying it spotted a large potted plant, moments later the plant crashes through the glass door]

Question :
[casually] Ooops.

Child:
Can I have your autograph?!

Booster Gold:
Of course you can! [signs autograph book]

Child:
[looks at it and is disappointed] I thought you were Green Lantern...

Skeets:
I would like your autograph, sir!

Booster Gold:
Shut up, Skeets.

Martian Manhunter:
Listen up! A second unit will serve under Green Lantern's command! When I call your name, report to the transporter! Hawk and Dove, Star and Stripe, Shining Knight... Fire and Ice, Doctor Light... Aztek, Huntress, Vigilante, Elongated Man...

Booster Gold:
Ahem.

Martian Manhunter:
Vibe...

Booster Gold:
Ahem!

Martian Manhunter:
[sighs] Booster Gold...

Booster Gold:
Yes!

Booster Gold:
Energize!

Transporter Operator:
[under his breath] Doofus...

Booster Gold:
What about me? I was thinking maybe I'd go out on point.

Batman Crowd control.

Booster Gold:
Crowd control. Who says you don't have a sense of humor?

Batman:
Crowd control.

[The Elongated Man and Booster Gold are stuck with Crowd Control during a battle.]

Elongated Man:
One time, I disguised myself as a vase. For three days!

Booster Gold:
No you didn't!

Elongated Man Okay, maybe not. Who'd want to, anyway? But I am a detective! That means I'm like Plastic Man and Batman rolled into one! And...

Booster Gold:
Is there any chance you could stop complaining for five minutes?

Elongated Man:
Hey, the squeaky wheel gets the grease, my friend. But I'll tell you, I wouldn't help those ingrates now if they begged me!

Wonder Woman:
We need you.

Booster Gold:
It's about time!

Wonder Woman:
Not you. Him!

Elongated Man:
Squeaky Wheel! [leaves with Wonder Woman]

Skeets:
Maybe they needed a vase.

Booster Gold:
It doesn't matter what we do here, the battle is over there. We're not helping.

Skeets:
This is untrue. "They also serve, who only stand and wait." - John Milton.

Booster Gold:
Oh yeah? I got one for ya': "This stinks" - Booster Gold.

Booster Gold:
I am NOT Green Lantern! If I were Green Lantern, my costume would be GREEN, now wouldn't it?! [to Skeets] I have officially hit rock bottom.

Skeets:
Sir, you saved those insects! Yay! Don't you feel good about yourself?

Booster Gold:
Oh, man, we are so lucky! All I have to do is pop this collar on Mr. Black Hole, save the world, and then it's champagne and strawberries for me and the hot doctor! [He is about to put the collar around Dr. Daniel's neck, when a car falls on him]

Booster Gold:
[emerging from under the car] I thought they didn't have flying cars in this time period.

[Booster Gold opens an ambulance door]

Booster Gold:
Uh-oh.

[Cut to pregnant woman in labor; Dr. Simmons arrives]

Booster Gold:
Maybe you should handle this.

Dr. Simmons:
Why me?

Booster Gold:
You're a doctor.

Dr. Simmons:
I'm a physicist!

Booster Gold:
Yeah?

Dr. Simmons:
Give me the collar! [She takes it and runs]

Booster Gold:
I'll - I'll take care of this. [climbs into the ambulance next to the woman] So, um... how are you feeling?

Woman:
[screams]

Booster Gold:
How many fingers am I holding up?

Woman:
[Grabs him] Do something USEFUL!

Batman:
I thought I told you to stay on crowd control.

Booster Gold:
I know, but... there was this... I mean, you wouldn't believe it... it almost.. [pauses on seeing Batman narrowing his eyes] ah, forget it.

Batman:
You and I are gonna have a little chat later. [walks away]

Booster Gold:
Looking forward to it.

[Dr. Simmons have just asked Booster Gold out for a dinner, and he has accepted]

[Elongated Man is busy doing clean-up. Booster Gold walks past him, with Dr. Simmons]

Booster Gold:
Squeaky wheel, buddy. Squeaky wheel.

Lex Luthor:
[leading the rest to a hiding place] This is it.

Supergirl:
A barber shop?

Steel:
Got to hand it to you, Luthor - nobody would think to look for you here.

Amazo:
You cannot keep me from my goal.

Superman:
Telepathy.

Green Lantern:
I'm not impressed.

Superman:
Why have you come back? What do you want?

Amazo:
Why do you ask questions you already know the answer to?

Superman:
Luthor.

Amazo:
Of course.

Superman:
We're not gonna give him up.

Amazo:
He's your enemy. You owe him nothing.

Superman:
Turn...back...now.

Amazo:
I have evolved far beyond what I was when we last met. You do not want to challenge me.

Green Lantern:
A blast like that could destroy half the planet.

Kyle Rayner:
Half a planet is better than none.

The Atom:
The android - why does he hate you so much?

Lex:
I once took advantage of his naiveté. He's not naïve any more, and I've stopped taking advantage of the innocent.

The Atom:
Let's hope you'll be more convincing if you have to tell him that.

Amazo:
Your bravery is admirable... but annoying.

Lex Luthor:
A subatomic universe.

Atom:
Figured the android can't kill what he can't see.

Amazo:
Oh, but I can see you.

[Atom and Luthor are revealed to be standing on Amazo's hand]

Amazo:
Did you really think I couldn't follow you here? No universe, however large, however small, is denied to me.

Martian Manhunter:
It's the only way.

Dr. Fate:
Hmmm, those words are always used to justify destruction.

Lex Luthor:
The truth is, for all my struggles to make my mark in life, for all I've accomplished, in just a few short generations my name will be forgotten. Even the greatest of us can't compete with time... and death.

Amazo:
Then why do you go on? Why does anyone? Why don't I just destroy you and everything else right now? [winds start swirling] All it would take is a single thought and-

Lex Luthor:
No! If you do that you won't see the end of it!

Amazo:
The end of what?

Lex Luthor:
The evolutionary process. You of all beings should know something about that.

Amazo:
Yes. Yes, I'm evolving. That's why Professor Ivo made me. These past months I have amassed so much knowledge, and yet... I remain confused...empty. What am I evolving into? What is my purpose?! I must know! Tell me!

Lex Luthor:
There's no way to tell. That's why I stay in the game. My purpose, if you will, is to see where it's all going. And you! You'll live forever. You'll be able to see it all.

Amazo:
Is that my purpose? Simply to be... a witness?

Lex Luthor:
We create our own purpose in life. Now go create yours.

Lex:
You know, when I heard you were coming I was actually afraid of you. Petrified. But now, when I see your fear, your uncertainty, I just pity you.

(Amazo glares)

The Atom:
You should have quit while you were ahead.

Amazo:
I did not destroy Oa - I simply moved it to another dimension. (everyone stares) It was in my way.

John Stewart:
Then could you move it back?

(Amazo's eyes glow briefly)

Amazo:
Done.

Atom:
Told you we'd beat him!

Lex Luthor:
What do you mean, "we"?

[Superman is encased in hardened magma]

Wind Dragon:
You know, Juice, Superman was my hero when I was a lad. It's not his fault he's getting old.

Superman:
Old? [breaks free]

Wind Dragon:
Old but spry, sir, old but spry.

Long Shadow:
What I wanna know is-

Shifter, Downpour, Juice, Wind Dragon:
"Why can't we join the Justice League?"

Wind Dragon:
Hey, it's alright. I used to think like that.

Long Shadow:
Used to? What happened?

Wind Dragon:
I dunno. I guess I just started wanting stuff.

Bizzarro Superman:
Bizarro will do anything for the woman he loves! Even break her boyfriend out of prison!

Giganta:
Outta the way, tiny.

[Long Shadow grows taller than her]

Long Shadow:
You were saying?

Giganta:
Oh, poop.

[Downpour blasts Aquaman with a huge tidal wave, which is almost entirely ineffective.]

Aquaman:
King of the seas, remember?

[The gunmen step towards Long Shadow. Wonder Woman steps in front of him.]

Wonder Woman:
No.

Amanda Waller:
You need to step back.

Batman:
Not gonna happen. Long Shadow's with us.

Amanda Waller:
[to troops] Safeties.

[Soldiers train guns on the League; Superman and Aquaman get between them and Long Shadow]

Batman:
[smirking] Mine are bigger than yours.

Batman:
Who are you people?

Amanda Waller:
That's a national security matter. And if I were you, I wouldn't probe the situation too closely... rich boy.

The Atom:
[confronted by a (relatively) giant nanomachine] He's bigger than my car now, Katie. Personally, I blame you.

Katie:
How can it possibly be my fault?

The Atom:
Because otherwise it would be my fault. That can't be right; I'm a professor.

The Atom:
Okay, I can see the problem, now, Katie. Looks like the salt water created a bad nano-chip. I can get around it by.... [he's nearly thrown off as the nanomachine writhes under him] Okay, I'm just gonna be direct. [He punches the chip, breaking it, but he is shocked by the contact. The nanomachine comes to a halt, and he lies prone on its back, exhausted.]

Katie:
Professor Palmer! Professor! Ray!

The Atom:
I'm just going to lie here for a while, Katie. I'm old now, and I get tired.

Katie:
Professor Palmer, you have company...serious company...

The Atom:
Stand by, I'm coming up. [He adjusts a dial on his belt, causing him to grow out of the petri dish. He steps down from the table it's on, to stand only a little shorter than Superman.]

Batman:
[in free fall, having bailed out of his plane] Batman to all points. I could use some air support. Since I can't fly. At all. [continues to fall and states calmly] Now would be good. [Superman catches him only a few feet from the ground]

Wonder Woman:
[holding Atom in her palm] Ready?

Atom:
Just don't squeeze.

Wonder Woman:
[in the midst of battle, before tucking Atom into her cleavage] I need both hands, professor.

Aquaman:
Such scintillating repartee. I get better conversation from the android.

Amazo:
You are aware I'm in the room?

Green Lantern:
Doctor Fate called it, Solomon Grundy's back.

Vixen:
The zombie guy? A heavy hitter, I read about him in the files.

Green Lantern:
Yeah, he's tough, but we can handle him. Funny thing is, he's supposed to be dead.

Vixen:
Aren't all zombies, by definition, dead?

Green Lantern:
Uh...

Dr. Fate:
Solomon Grundy's grave is empty.

Aquaman:
Tell me where to find those responsible, then dig more graves.

Dr. Fate:
(magically watching Superman, Green Lantern and Vixen fighting Solomon Grundy) They need our help.

Shayera:
So does Grundy. Let's try and get there before the League kills him.

Amazo:
(as the battle turns against the League) That scenario seems... unlikely.

[John and Shayera meet for the first time since Starcrossed.]

Green Lantern:
Shayera?

Shayera:
... Hate the beard.

Green Lantern:
(Seeing Superman coming from water to the bridge) Are you OK?

Superman:
Do I look OK?

Doctor Fate:
The creature knows only rage and seeks only oblivion. Your mace may be the only object on Earth that can grant him peace.

Green Lantern:
What are you saying!?

Shayera:
Your favorite movie's Old Yeller. You know exactly what he's saying.

[The vote to keep Shayera in the league or not is revealed.]

Green Lantern:
I recused myself because... well... Anyway, Superman broke the tie.

Superman:
I believe in second chances, I believe in redemption. But mostly, I believe in my friends.

Enid Clinton:
Let me get this straight. You got a suit that lets you travel in time, and you've been using it to steal historical trash? [David looks proud; Enid grabs him abusively] You stupid little man! You could go back and steal gold and jewels! You could get stock information from the future! We could be rich!

David Clinton:
No! We can't use the suit to do anything that could change history. I'm careful to only take things that wouldn't be missed.

Enid Clinton:
Like your spine?

David Clinton:
Enid, please, don't talk to me like that. I love--

Enid Clinton:
Mother was right. I should have married Jim Dworman. He's a very successful lawyer. And you are a loser - always were, always will be.

David Clinton:
But--

Enid Clinton:
YOU WORTHLESS, GOOD-FOR-NOTHING, WRETCHED WASTE OF SPACE! YOU INVENT A TIME MACHINE AND CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING USEFUL TO DO WITH IT?!

David Clinton:
[is stunned with fright at first, but then turns angry] I can think of one thing! [activates a portal in time] I can use it to get away from you!

[He disappears into it, leaving Enid looking scared]

Green Lantern:
Diana's carrying a grudge.

Batman:
She'll get over it. How 'bout you? Carrying anything?

Green Lantern:
What? Shayera? We're cool. We're giving each other our space. I'm seeing Vixen, now. [pause] I'm very happy.

Batman:
Uh-huh.

Green Lantern:
Anyway, why are we always talking about my love life? What's going on between you and Diana?

Batman:
Nothing. She's a respected colleague.

Green Lantern:
Uh-huh.

Batman:
I don't have time to pursue a relationship. My work is too important to allow other distractions. Diana is a remarkable woman, she's a valued friend. She's... standing right behind me, isn't she?

Wonder Woman:
[standing right behind him] Don't let that stop you - keep digging.

Wonder Woman:
These shoes are killing me.

Batman:
You fight crime wearing high heels.

Wonder Woman:
High heels that fit.

Jonah Hex:
If you all are working for Tobias, there's gonna be difficulty.

Bat Lash:
Easy, Jonah - they're with me. They helped me out of a spot while I was here incognito tryin' to find out more about Tobias.

Ohiyesa Smith:
What have you learned?

Bat Lash:
Among other moral failings, the man cheats at poker.

Jonah Hex:
What's your stake in this?

Green Lantern:
We're lawmen too.

Jonah Hex:
From back east?

Batman:
Sure.

Green Lantern:
What's the plan?

Jonah Hex:
Plan? Huh. We put 'em in the ground.

Jonah Hex:
Fancy gun belt ya got there. I'm thinking you folks are time travelers.

Batman:
Where would you get a crazy idea like that?

Jonah Hex:
Experience. I've had an interesting life.

Ohiyesa Smith:
We're getting close. I wanna warn you, there's some downright unusual activity goin' on hereabouts; don't let it throw you.

Green Lantern:
Don't worry about it, we've got a lot of experience with unusu- [a cowboy riding a pterodactyl flies towards them] ...I'm sorry, you were saying?

Ohiyesa Smith:
The shots are spooking the horses!

Bat Lash:
The shots are spooking me!

Batman:
Six guns. Six of us. Nobody miss.

Green Lantern:
Last time I saw you, you were too young to drive. You look good for a man your age!

Static:
The miracles of modern medicine. Sixty-five is the new thirty!

Bruce Wayne:
[met by his past self] Surprised to see me?

Batman:
A little. I'm more surprised that I lived so long.

Terry McGinnis (Batman II):
Batman, Bruce Wayne. Bruce Wayne, Batman. Or have you met?

Bruce and Batman:
[simultaneously] Not now!

Terry:
Great. What did they used to call it? Stereo?

Static:
Shayera was one cranky pregnant lady. Although to be fair, if I'd laid an egg that size...

Warhawk:
[to Green Lantern] He's kidding, Dad.

Chronos:
The question arises; Who told them where and when our targets would arrive? I mean, I told you; and I only know because I'm the undisputed master of space and time.

[Chronos sends the traitorous Joker, Chucko, back to prehistoric times]

Chronos:
Enjoy your stay.

[Chronos disappears in his portal; a Tyrannosaurus Rex appears and Chucko draws a lightsaber]

Chucko:
You think I'm scared?! I'll be running this dump in a few ye-!

[A giant asteroid falls from the sky]

Chucko:
...Aw, phooey.

[We see a massive explosion on Earth, killing the dinosaurs and Chucko]

[Chonos returns after taking Chucko to his death]

Chronos:
Do you know what killed the dinosaurs?

[The Jokerz look around stupidly]

Bonk:
Uh... no, sir.

Chronos:
Well, Chucko does. And unless you wanna find out firsthand, you'll go finish off the Justice League. Skedaddle! Time is money! [to his wife] Actually, time is the non-spatial continuum in which events occur linearly, usually in the direction of increased entropy. But the clowns seem to relate better to the money thing.

Batman:
Sometimes, the old ways are best. [Heads for the door]

Terry McGinnis:
It's not gonna work. You don't know your way around here. A lot of things have changed.

Batman:
[pauses with the door half-open] Are criminals still superstitious and cowardly?

Bruce Wayne:
Yep.

Batman:
Good enough for me.

[The League confronts one of the Jokerz.]

Terry McGinnis:
You've got some information we need, Ghoul.

Ghoul:
You won't find me the talkative sort. [Batman grabs him] Hey!

Batman:
[drags Ghoul over to the edge of the building and dangles him over the edge by his leg] Where's Chronos? My arm's getting tired.

Bruce Wayne:
I can't believe I was ever that green. [grabs Ghoul and throws him across the rooftop] This is how you interrogate someone!

[Later]

Ghoul:
...and we've got 9453 active Jokerz organized into about 200 smaller groups. I don't know where Chronos is! He contacts us! He spends every night in a different one of those old buildings! There's no way of knowing ahead of time where he's gonna be! And that's everything I know!

Bruce Wayne:
Everything?

Ghoul:
... I wet my bed until I was fourteen!

Bruce Wayne:
Losing my patience...

Batman:
[pulls Bruce Wayne back with a hand on his shoulder] I can't control my friend here much longer. You'd better give us something we can use.

Ghoul:
His wife! I know where his wife is!

Static:
[on the sidelines, quietly] Wow. Batman playing good cop... [shakes his head in astonishment]

Green Lantern:
Everything's relative.

Warhawk:
If we don't beat this guy, it's the end of everything.

Terry McGinnis:
We've been there before.

Warhawk:
Not like this. What are you supposed to do when you have the weight of the world on your shoulders?

Green Lantern:
Plant your feet.

Chronos:
[to Batman] Wow. You are good. [turns to his wife] Isn't he good?

Green Lantern:
The Green Lanterns have a legend. No one can see the beginning of time. It's a universal law!

Batman:
Write him a ticket!

Batman:
Get us out of here!

Green Lantern:
Having a little trouble applying the brakes!

Batman:
[grabs Green Lantern's arm] Look, we're back.

Wonder Woman:
That's a nasty cut, John, are you alright?

Batman:
[to Wonder Woman] You don't remember going on a mission with us today, do you?

Wonder Woman:
No, I just got here.

Batman:
[in an undertone to Green Lantern] It's just as if we'd never left.

Green Lantern:
What's to prevent it happening again?

Batman:
[amusement in his voice] I put a bug in the program that will prevent Chronos from ever existing.

[Flash to the future, when Chronos first tried to jump though time to escape his wife. Every time he punches the button, he arrives back in the same moment he would have left.]