Justice League Unlimited, Season 2

Black Canary:
Black Canary.

Green Arrow:
Green Arrow. [They shake hands] I've noticed you around.

Black Canary:
I know. You happy punching the bag or you wanna go a few rounds with me? [Green Arrow stares awkwardly] I am talking about sparring.

Green Arrow:
That'd be nice too.

Green Arrow:
Well, at least now I understand why you brought me along. You didn't need Green Arrow - you just needed "green."

Black Canary:
It isn't like that!

Green Arrow:
No? Then tell me - what's it like?

Black Canary:
I thought I could trust you.

Wildcat:
What is this?

Black Canary:
We want to help you, Ted. We want to get you out of here.

Wildcat:
Why? Does it look like I have a problem?

Black Canary:
You do if you don't see what you've become here! You're entertainment for these people! The rooster in a cockfight!

Wildcat:
Fighting is what I do, alright? It was all I was ever good at and I'm still good at it - I'm Wildcat, the guy who fights! That's what I am.

Wildcat:
I'll be there in ten minutes.

Black Canary:
Would those be real minutes or Wildcat minutes?

Green Arrow:
Uh, there's no place to change.

Black Canary:
Right here'll do.

[they turn their backs to each other and Dinah begins to undress, Ollie sneaks a look over his shoulder.]

Black Canary:
You drop something?

Roulette:
That's right. Two good guys, fighting each other. And one of them's her. [cut to Black Canary, then cut to the audience, where male jaws are dropping]

Black Canary:
[To Roulette] Then here's the deal: If I win, you ban Wildcat from cage fighting forever. And If I lose, [to Wildcat] I'll never bother you again.

Wildcat:
Forget it!

Roulette:
Can't do that, Cat - it's much too good an idea.

Black Canary:
If we leave here without Wildcat, or worse, if I use my power to force him out, he'll just come back. We have to settle this the only way he understands.

Green Arrow:
You're not really gonna fight him...

Black Canary:
I have to. And beat him, it's the only way he can stop.

Green Arrow:
[takes an arrow] I thought it was just you pretending again.

Black Canary:
What's that supposed to mean?

Green Arrow:
Like all the flirting you did at the Watchtower. The way you acted interested. To get me to come with you.

Black Canary:
Who said that was pretending?

Green Arrow:
Oh no, I know your game now.

Black Canary:
It's not always a game.

Green Arrow:
No? Come here, look me in the eye and say so. [Black Canary comes closer to Green Arrow, who knocks her out with gas from the arrow; Roulette enters the room and sees Black Canary unconscious] Don't worry. You'll still get your main event.

Black Canary:
[to Green Arrow, who she thinks is dead] You know, that was an incredibly stupid thing to do. Not to mention arrogant, pig-headed, macho, and... very very sweet. [kisses him] I'm sorry...

Green Arrow:
[opens eyes] I'm not.

Green Arrow:
Care to join me for a cup of coffee?

Black Canary:
Yeah.

Green Arrow:
Good. You're buying.

[As he limps away, Canary smiles.]

Oberon:
Craziest stunt you ever pulled...

Mr. Miracle:
That's why we're rehearsing it.

Oberon:
Kid's got an answer for everything.

[Mr. Miracle has just performed a seemingly impossible escape]

Big Barda:
[Relieved; hugs him] Scott! I thought you were dead! [angry; picks him up] You insufferable showboat! I thought you were dead!

Mister Miracle:
Hey, where is Oberon?

Granny Goodness:
Don't worry, dumpling. He's safe and sound, in Granny's loving care! Of course, if you ever want to see the old runt alive again, you'll do exactly as Granny says.

Big Barda:
You demented old gargoyle...

Flash:
Could it hurt them to show me just a little respect?

Elongated Man:
Tell me about it, I've been at this longer than you and they still treat me like comic relief.

Flash:
Better than being treated like a teenage sidekick! I mean, I was one of the original seven! Tell me the truth, Ralph, do I seem immature to you?

Elongated Man:
Not in the least.

[Widen to show they are playing "Brawlin' Bots"]

Flash:
Ha! I bopped your block off!

Elongated Man:
That-that's not fair, the green guy's arms are longer!

Flash:
Are not!

Big Barda:
We don't need these cowards! We can do it on our own!

Flash:
Great news, Bertha! You don't have to!

[Barda seizes him by the throat]

Big Barda:
BARDA!

Flash:
[squeaks] Isn't that what I said?

Virman Vundabar:
Kalibak, Kalibak, Kalibak... I have used every vile punishment, every known torture, yet still you refuse to join Virman Vundabar's noble cause.

Kalibak:
You're about as noble as my armpit.

Virman Vundabar:
Very well, you've forced me to my last resort! [reaches into his uniform] Cake! [Kalibak licks his lips, but then spits at Vundabar] Oh, did I say that was my last resort? My mistake, I have one more! [activates torture device]

Oberon:
You've always been this deluded? Or is it just since senility set in?

Granny Goodness:
Oh! You wound Granny. But not as much as Granny is going to wound you!

Granny Goodness:
Are you enjoying Granny's hospitality?

Oberon:
Ah, blow it out your shorts, ya goose-stepping harpy!

Flash:
Not that I mind the exercise, but couldn't your boob tube have transported us any closer?

Big Barda:
It's "boom tube"!

Virman Vundabar:
Ah, this should be a magnificent show, even if I already know the ending.

[Big Barda is fighting the robot guards]

Flash:
Robots! I love smashing robots!

Mr. Miracle:
No! You've got something more important to do. Search this place and find Kalibak.

Flash:
Will you two be all - [robot head flies past] Okay!

Kalibak:
Well, if it isn't my treacherous stepbrother. And his cow.

Big Barda:
Arrogant worm! How dare you -! [swings at him]

Flash:
Knock it off! What are you guys, twelve? I can't believe I'm the mature one here.

Mr. Miracle:
He's right. We've got bigger problems.

Virman Vundabar:
Indeed you do, fools! Much bigger! And, oh, how I will delight in watching you fail! [Barda blasts the monitor] Very interesting...but futile.

Kalibak:
Saved by a female!

Flash:
[To Big Barda] Guess you'd better drop him. [Big Barda starts to drop him] KIDDING!

[Scott Free is trapped in a room rapidly filling with water]

Virman Vundabar:
Enjoying your bath, Mr. Miracle? Here at Casa de Vundabar, we provide everything, including your very last breath!

Kalibak:
Vundabar's not done with us yet!

[An entire army of guard robots suddenly attack]

Flash:
Hope you're happy!

Kalibak:
Indeed I am!

[Big Barda and Kalibak smash the guards, Miracle and Flash hang back]

Flash:
Shouldn't we...?

Mr. Miracle:
And spoil their fun?

Martian Manhunter:
[to Granny Goodness] Try not to think about where you've got Oberon hidden. - [to Flash] Darkseid's old palace. I'll guide you.

Mr. Miracle:
Ah, it's good to see you, old friend!

Oberon:
It's good to see me, too!

Big Barda:
All the trouble we had to go through because of you.

Oberon:
All legs, and no heart.

Big Barda:
You're just too far away to hear it.

[kneels and hugs him]

[as Scott and his party depart Apokolips]

Granny Goodness:
How? Granny never failed with any of them. How did she fail with him?

Big Barda:
[comes back] Oh, one last thing...

[She delivers a right cross to Granny's jaw, knocking her cold.]

Martian Manhunter:
Flash-

Flash:
Yeah, I know, I know, I went behind your back! But look how everything turned out! We boom back here for you, the switch went off perfectly, and now we've got Kalibak locked up on Earth where neither side can use him!

Martian Manhunter:
You don't-

Flash:
So, yeah! I did go behind your back, but you know what? I'd do it again! What do you say to that, big guy?

Martian Manhunter:
I was only going to ask if you wanted to play Brawlin' Bots. [smiles]

Flash:
...Dibs on the green one! [zooms away]

Martian Manhunter:
I wanted the green one...

Batman:
Get dressed. It's time we talked.

[As he intercepts her on her bath]

Batman:
Amanda Waller. Born in St. Louis, Rhodes scholar, PhD in Political Science. Served in Intelligence, under three administrations. Disappeared from public life, four years ago.

Amanda Waller:
[deadpan] Am I supposed to be impressed? Maybe I should rattle off your resume now? Y'know, I could blow the whistle on you any time I want...

Batman:
Fine, why don't we step into the light together? I'm sure the American people will be just as interested in your activities as mine - Secret weapons, illegal cloning experiments, bypassing Congress...

Amanda Waller:
What do you want!?

Batman:
I want to know what you think you're doing.

Amanda Waller:
Did Superman ever mention that to get Luthor's pardon, he had to tell us about your parallel universe adventure? All about it? We started to wonder what would happen if you took the same action that the Justice Lords did, so I had my people run some computer simulations. If the Justice League ever went rogue, what do you think would be the result?

Batman:
That's moot.

Amanda Waller:
[Dryly] Humor me. In every single scenario, you beat us. Badly. But that was before Cadmus. Now we have the technology to defend ourselves.

Batman:
[Threatening] Whatever you think you're doing, if you present a threat to the world, the Justice League will take you down...

Amanda Waller:
[Angry] If we present a threat!? You got a spaceship floating over our heads with a laser weapon pointing down! In another dimension, seven of you overthrew the government and assassinated the President! We're the good guys, protecting our country from a very real threat: you.

Batman:
Project Cadmus is in the business of developing weapons, specifically to fight us.

Martian Manhunter:
They're worried we've grown too powerful, and they want to even the odds.

Batman:
What's to stop us?

Flash:
Me! Those guys went overboard because their Flash died. So as long as you all focus on keeping me alive, that'll never happen here.

[Martian Manhunter, Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, Green Lantern, and Hawkgirl stare at him.]

Martian Manhunter:
Let's put a pin in that theory to explore another time.

Batman:
I've got the Question looking into it and-

Wonder Woman, Superman, Hawkgirl, Green Lantern, Flash, and Martian Manhunter:
Awwwww!

Flash:
Not that kook!

Amanda Waller:
Doctor Milo, I'm not known for my sense of humor, but I know a sick joke when I see one.

Dr. Milo:
[Seeing Doomsday approach him] What are you...?

Doomsday:
Your problem solved.

[Doomsday kills Milo while he screams]

Amanda Waller:
Milo! I'll have his hide for this.

Security Guard:
Doomsday beat you to it, ma'am.

Doomsday:
Superman. I'm here to kill you. Is this a bad time?

Superman:
I know who you are. But I'm not the one who hurt you.

Doomsday:
Superman is Superman. And I will kill you.

Superman:
Why?

Doomsday:
It's what I am; I don't care why.

[Superman attempts to lobotomize Doomsday with heat vision]:

Doomsday:
Ah, ah, ah. Can't be beat me the same way twice!

Superman:
Then I guess I'll need a bigger fire!

[Superman tosses Doomsday into the volcano.]

Amanda Waller:
What were you thinking? You're gonna kill Superman and everyone else on the island!

Wade Eiling:
We have to sanction Doomsday, we were gonna get to Superman somewhere down the line, and we've been trying to stop drug traffic from San Baquero for years. The way I see it: three birds, one stone.

Doomsday:
[before being sent to the Phantom Zone, encased in molten rock] You'll wish you'd killed me.

[Superman and Wonder Woman step into the infirmary to visit Batman, recovering after stopping the San Baquero missile]

Wonder Woman:
[Joking] You'll do anything to avoid monitor duty...

Batman:
Sent him [Doomsday] off to the Phantom Zone, didn't you?

Superman:
He left us no choice.

Batman:
Spoken like a true Justice Lord...

Superman:
[Offended] What!? COME ON!

Batman:
Passing judgment like gods... With our super-powered army and our orbiting death ray... CADMUS is right to be scared - the human race wouldn't stand a chance...

Superman:
We'd never go there! It isn't in our nature and nothing can change that!

Batman:
Nothing? What if Luthor does become President, like he did in their world? What would stop you from doing what that Superman did!?

Superman:
There's always that Kryptonite you carry around...

Batman:
YOU DON'T GET TO JOKE! Not today! [Points at him] I just took a bullet for you!

Superman:
I'm sorry, Bruce. You're right. But you don't have to worry about the Justice League. Trust me. You know me.

Batman:
Yeah, I do.

Deadshot:
[as his handcuffs are unlocked] What if I don't want to go with him?

Colonel Rick Flagg:
Then you can go and take your seat, tough guy.

Floyd Lawton:
So what do I call you?

Colonel Rick Flagg:
The name' s Flagg. Colonel Flagg.

Floyd Lawton:
Colonel... Flagg?

Floyd Lawton:
You're kidding, right?

Deadshot:
What do you want, exactly?

Rick Flagg:
You're gonna do something patriotic, convict.

Deadshot:
Groovy. Who do I kill?

Deadshot:
An expert with nothing to lose... this must be some nasty business.

Rick Flagg:
A little B-and-E, a little grand larceny. No big deal.

Deadshot:
Right. What's the target? [Flagg hands him a dossier]

Colonel Rick Flagg:
Justice League headquarters.

Deadshot:
Always did want to die for my country.

Captain Boomerang:
Ah, so we'll make our way there, pretty as you please, then maybe a picnic lunch and the Justice League will give us a ride home. We may as well be storming Heaven's Gate itself.

Clock King:
Unlike Heaven, this tower has a duty roster. One I've studied thoroughly. I've scheduled your visit for when they're at their weakest.

Captain Boomerang:
Define "weakest", please.

Rick Flagg:
Okay, Plastique, you're setting the charge, and Superman walks in the room.

Plastique:
You said he wouldn't be there!

Colonel Rick Flagg:
Last minute change in the duty roster, Superman's got the drop on you - what do you do?

Plastique:
Before or after I change my Diaper?

Deadshot:
I thought he was gonna wet himself when you mentioned the Martian. He couldn't let us through fast enough.

Plastique:
That was nothing. I almost lost it when this bonehead set off the metal detector.

Captain Boomerang:
Seventy-five cents is seventy-five cents. I'm supposed to throw away money?

[Task Force X readies their weapons in an elevator.]

Deadshot:
[addressing Colonel Flag] And you? Going in unarmed?

Captain Boomerang:
This one don't need no weapons.

[Deadshot and Plastique board the elevator; Green Lantern catches the door with his ring]

Green Lantern:
Hey.

Deadshot:
How ya doin'.

[Brief silence; Deadshot gives Plastique a sidelong glance]

Deadshot:
Uh, excuse me, Mr. Lantern? For six weeks now, my wife's been after me for Hawkgirl's autograph; you wouldn't know where she's at today, would you?

Green Lantern:
[annoyed] Haven't seen her. [gets off elevator]

Deadshot:
Okay, thanks anyway.

Plastique:
You are a very bad boy.

Deadshot:
Tell me you didn't love it.

[Task Force X is attempting to escape the Watchtower; they burst onto the transport deck]

Martian Manhunter:
Ask yourselves - is being in here with me what you truly desire?

Deadshot:
C'est la vie.

Amanda Waller:
You really think we can do something with this?

Tala:
An invulnerable juggernaut forged by the gods? Oh yes, Ms. Waller, most definitely.

Amanda Waller:
Rick, you're a good soldier. Your father would be proud.

Rick Flagg:
Ma'am.

Deadshot:
Most fun I've had since my last root canal. Well gang, guess I'll be saying-

[Attacked by Colonel Flagg]

Colonel Rick Flagg:
Dream on, dirtbag. Five years. You sign up for missions like this for five years. If you survive, then you go free. You don't like it, there's a nice warm seat waiting for you back at Belle Reve Correctional.

Deadshot:
Tell me, Colonel - what's Waller got on you?

Colonel Rick Flagg:
Not a thing. Some of us don't have to be blackmailed into serving their country.

Martian Manhunter:
Don't you understand? We can't trust him.

Green Lantern:
J'onn... we can't trust anyone now.

Felix Faust:
That's never going to work. When did the Greeks ever use precipitate of bismuth in their potions?

Tala:
The Greeks didn't. But I'm making a counter-potion, remember?

Felix Faust:
Tala, you've come a long way since my untimely demise. But the student, however gifted, still has much to learn from the teacher.

Tala:
And I'm supposed to take advice from you, when without my spell, your spirit would have been — poof! — lost on the winds.

Felix Faust:
Yes. So very kind of you to trap me in this mirror for all eternity.

Tala:
Beats the alternative.

Felix Faust:
True enough.

Tala:
This is really bad, isn't it?

Felix Faust:
You have no idea.

Flash:
I had dinner with two women at the same time. 'Cause I'm a stud.

Etrigan:
[screaming, shifting between demon and human forms] The gates of Tartarus swing both ways! AARGH! The balance tilts towards chaos!

Zatanna:
[speaking backwards] Lleh fo enorht eht no stis tsuaf! Tsol si lla! ["All is lost! Faust sits on the throne of Hell!"]

Wonder Woman:
Flash!

Hermes:
No, it's the original speedster.

Hermes:
I've got something for you, here, it's pretty important. Zeus paid for overnight service. Here it is. [Hands her a scroll]

Wonder Woman:
[reading] "For a good time, call Podenemus"...?

Hermes:
[Grabs the scroll] Wha-uh-, heh-heh... Wrong scroll. I think I got a shot, it's her cell number... Here we go. [reads] "By decree of Zeus, father of Olympus, it is so ordered: Diana of Themyscira will travel to Tartarus and set right that what has been disturbed."

Wonder Woman:
He's telling me to go to...

Hermes:
Basically. Felix Faust is on the loose again.

Wonder Woman:
Felix Faust is dead.

Hermes:
Yes, and pretty upset about it, too.

Hermes:
The Amazons did their best to stop him. They're good but they were out of their weight class.

Hermes:
You must defeat Faust and restore Hades to the throne of Tartarus.

Wonder Woman:
So far as I'm concerned they deserve each other! Why should I care about this?

Hermes:
You mean, other than the direct-order-from-the-gods thing?

Shayera Hol:
[walking in on Wonder Woman taking her mace] We become pals while I wasn't looking?

[Demons are attacking Shayera; one grabs her wing but suddenly backs away]

Shayera Hol:
[spreads her wings] That's right, I'm an angel! You can mess with me if you want to... [points upward] But I don't think you wanna mess with the boss! [Demons retreat] If we're lucky, they'll all be that dumb.

Shayera Hol:
Where's Faust?

Abnegazar:
Let me think... oh, yeah! He's over there! No, wait! He's over there! No, there!

Shayera Hol:
One more answer, and it better be the right one.

Abnegazar:
Or what? You'll kill me? Gosh, I might end up suffering eternal torment as punishment for my sins! Oh, wait - I ALREADY AM!

[Wonder Woman has used her lasso to compel a demon to reveal Felix Faust's location]

Shayera Hol:
How did you do that?

Wonder Woman:
Magic lasso. Who knew?

Shayera Hol:
If you don't want to tell me, fine.

[Wonder Woman has a demon tied up with her lasso.]

Shayera Hol:
I've got one more question: is there anything else we should know?

Abnegazar:
Yeah. You really, really shouldn't go in there. Now, could you please take this rope off of me? I'm a demon! The truth hurts.

[Faust is in Hades' library]

Felix Faust:
Now I'm in heaven...! Figuratively speaking.

Shayera Hol:
We're revoking your library card.

Felix Faust:
Oh, you want to fight. Not in the mood. [Sends them away with a spell, then goes back to his book] Darn it, lost my place.

Wonder Woman:
You okay?

Shayera Hol:
Yeah. Didn't think I'd need a jacket where we were going. Aren't you cold in that outfit?

Wonder Woman:
Not really.

Shayera Hol:
Of course not. The princess doesn't get cold. The princess doesn't even sweat in the fire pits of Tartarus.

Wonder Woman:
I do too sweat.

Shayera Hol:
Please, you glow. I wouldn't be surprised if you never have to -

[In the distance, Hades screams]

Wonder Woman:
Come on. We're putting you back on the throne.

Hades:
Or die trying?

Shayera Hol:
Not in the plan.

[Wonder Woman attacks Faust with Shayera's mace.]

Wonder Woman:
I hit a lot harder than she does.

[Wonder Woman helps Shayera to her feet.]

Shayera Hol:
You're all sweaty.

Wonder Woman:
Told you.

Hades:
[Surveying a burning library] Ah well, who has time to read these days?

Wonder Woman:
What about us? Are we good?

Shayera Hol:
Like oil and vinegar. We go together, but we don't mix.

Wonder Woman:
Works for me.

Huntress:
Steven Mandragora. Been a while. I've changed some since we met last. But you haven't changed. All these years you've been building your empire with thievery and murder. But it ends tonight. No.

Martian Manhunter:
Huntress!

Huntress:
John, I...

Martian Manhunter:
You were warned. You were told to stay away from Mandragora. You have violated my direct orders. You've crossed the line.

Huntress:
You've been watching me?

Martian Manhunter:
Given what occurred tonight, I'd say it was a wise precaution.

Huntress:
You know what Mandragora did. And I almost had him. He should have been there, but someone tipped him. You did it.

Martian Manhunter:
I had Mandragora moved, yes. For his own protection. And yours.

Huntress:
All right, J'onn, so I get some Justice League demerits. Fine. Just spare me the lecture. I can find him without your help.

Martian Manhunter:
You misunderstand. Tonight was a test, and you failed. Pack your things, Huntress. You're out. You'll need to turn in your identification card immediately.

Huntress:
Fine. I hope you choke on it.

Question:
Oh, Cadmus, Cadmus, wherefore art thou, Cadmus? I know there's a connection. Don't think I won't find it.

Huntress:
You're the League's data guy, the conspiracy buff, right? Wildcat says you're a nutjob.

Question:
Funny, he says the same thing about you.

Huntress:
He's right.

Huntress:
You must be the ugliest guy of all time, Question, hiding your face like that.

Question:
Go away.

Huntress:
Wow. I had no idea that the Girl Scouts were responsible for the crop circle phenomenon.

Question:
Few people do. Few even think to ask the question.

Huntress:
Do you know what "apophenia" is?

Question:
Apophenia, noun. The tendency to see connections where none exists. Did you come here just to make fun of my work?

Steven Mandragora:
Speaking of squealing, Black Canary, I notice you can't take your eyes off of me. One can hardly blame you. Perhaps after Agent Faraday helps absolve me of my alleged crimes, I could put you in a cage and have you sing for me.

Green Arrow:
Listen, you giant tub of...!

Agent Faraday:
Green Arrow, may I remind you that you're here strictly in a security capacity?

Steven Mandragora:
Yes, why don't you go and fetch me another four platters of oysters like a good little leprechaun? I'm sure your girlfriend and I will have much to discuss while you're gone. I like my oysters sweet, by the way. Sweet and juicy.

Black Canary:
Let him talk, Arrow. With all the enemies he's made, he never knows if he's eating his last meal.

[Mandragora laughs heartily]

Huntress:
Oh, baby doll. And just for the record, I usually prefer my dates to have a face.

Black Canary:
Faraday's right, Arrow. Relax, nothing this guy can say is gonna affect me one way or the other.

Steven Mandragora:
Is that right? Well then, perhaps you won't mind explaining how a lovely young lady like you ends up with a nobody like him. Were all the real men in the Justice League already taken?

[Green Arrow and Black Canary had been kicked out of Mandragora's house after she punched him]

Black Canary:
I hope you're proud of yourself. Now we have to do guard duty from outside.

Green Arrow:
Hope I'm proud of myself? You're the one that punched him!

Black Canary:
Yeah, but—OW! It was like punching a brick wall, there's no fat on that man.

[Green Arrow tries to examine her hand, but she flinches and pulls away]

Green Arrow:
Will you let me look? [Examining Black Canary's hand] I think you'll live to punch suspects another day, pretty bird.

Green Arrow:
Why are you doing this, Question?

Question:
You wouldn't believe me if I told you.

Green Arrow:
I strongly advise you to stay down. These impact arrows are non-lethal, but they hurt... a lot.

Green Arrow:
Alright you two, stay here. Don't make me sic Black Canary on you - you've only seen her nice side so far.

[Green Arrow leaves with Black Canary; Huntress punches Question's shoulder.]

Question:
Ow! What was that for?

Huntress:
All that crazy mystery man mojo, and you couldn't even pick up a clue without being seen?

Question:
The key wasn't the clue. The key was mine. Now, this list of container ship arrivals I palmed when they were yelling at you: that's the clue.

Black Canary:
I don't get it. Why aren't we on our way to the train station?

Green Arrow:
Shh. [Huntress and Question run out of the house] Because I know when I'm being conned.

Black Canary:
You're cute when you're an insufferable smarty-pants.

Huntress:
You're even smarter than they say.

Question:
Smart enough to realize you don't know jack about Cadmus.

Huntress:
...I needed your help.

Franco Bertinelli:
Get behind me, Helena. It'll be all right...

Question:
But you saw it all, Helena. Steven Mandragora killed your parents while you watched helplessly. Isn't that what happened?

Huntress:
[wipes away a tear] If you knew all that, then you probably know what I'm gonna do to Mandragora when I catch him. So why help me?

Question:
That... is the question.

Question:
Somebody's following us.

Huntress:
Lose them!

Question:
Like airline luggage.

Green Arrow:
You're not supposed to drive when you're angry!

Black Canary:
They're heading towards the waterfront. Hang on!

Green Arrow:
It's so funny you think you have to tell me that!

Black Canary:
[through the com-link] Stop the car, Question. Pull over!

Question:
Stop following us, Canary.

Huntress:
Is that her? Give me that! [plucks com-link from Question's ear]

Question:
Hey!

Huntress:
[speaks through the com-link] You want a piece of me, blondie? Bring it! [steps on the accelerator]

[Question jumps his car over a ramp and onto the train tracks]

Green Arrow:
This is so unnecessary...

[Canary jumps her bike to follow them]

Green Arrow:
Are we dead yet?

Black Canary:
No.

Green Arrow:
ARE WE DEAD YET?

Black Canary:
Look, if we die, I promise I'll let you know.

[The Question is driving through a railroad tunnel]

Huntress:
Train...!

Question:
I see it.

Huntress:
TRAIN!

Question:
I see it!

[J'onn had just teleported Black Canary and Green Arrow out of the train's path and into the sea, leaving behind Canary's motorcycle]

Black Canary:
I can't believe you! [Hits Green Arrow] I rebuilt that bike by hand!

Green Arrow:
You're absolutely right. I'm sorry I saved our lives.

Black Canary:
Rrrrgh! [Swims away]

Green Arrow:
And J'onn thinks Huntress is the unstable one.

Steven Mandragora:
Get behind me, Edgar. It will be all right...

Huntress:
You knew all along that kid was gonna be on that freighter.

Question:
I do my homework.

Huntress:
Then why go to all the the trouble to help? Why risk your life for me?

Question:
[embarrassed] Because I... like you.

[Huntress gives Question a long kiss, then pulls him away by his collar]

Question:
Where are we going?

Huntress:
Don't ask so many questions.

Black Canary:
[to Green Arrow] I'm sorry, but... ew.

Batman:
J'onn! We're in trouble!

Martian Manhunter:
Are you asking for help?

Batman:
Yes!

Martian Manhunter:
You never ask for help.

Batman:
Just get us some reinforcements!

[Batman and Superman are conversing while battling supervillains.].

Batman:
You were a little hard on the Boy Scout, don't you think?

Superman:
I thought I was the Boy Scout?

Batman:
I did too, 'til I met Captain Marvel. [at this point, the villains all lie defeated around them] What did these guys want, anyway?

Superman:
To take over the world. Or rob banks, I forget. But back to Captain Marvel: why are you... why is everyone defending him?

Batman:
We like him. He's... sunny.

Superman:
When you joined this team, you became something more than just a hero.

Captain Marvel:
I know that, sir, but...

Superman:
You became a symbol. A symbol that represents all of us.

Captain Marvel:
Yes, sir.

Superman:
We don't play favorites, we don't sell deodorant on television, and we don't get involved in politics.

Captain Marvel:
Yes, sir.

Superman:
And we certainly don't endorse supervillains for the presidency!

Batman:
The lock was nano-picked. LexCorp technology.

Superman:
Then Luthor...

Batman:
Which anyone could have gotten their hands on. Or, for that matter, planted here to incriminate Luthor.

Superman:
You know it was him.

Batman:
I'm not entirely convinced: This is pretty sloppy for Lex.

Superman:
He's the most arrogant human being on the planet. He wants us to know.

Batman:
Maybe.

Superman:
Maybe?

Batman:
I'll go to the Watchtower, see if the Atom can find something I missed.

Superman:
Since when do you miss anything?

Batman:
Since when do you jump to conclusions without evidence?

Superman:
Look, Captain, I wanna...

Captain Marvel:
No more lectures. I called this meeting, and I'm gonna have my say.

Superman:
But...

Captain Marvel:
My whole life, I've looked up to the League. You were my heroes. Every one of you. And you... you were more than a hero. I idolized you. I wanted to be you. Whenever I was out there facing down the bad guys, I'd think, "What would Superman do?" Now I know. I believe in fair play. I believe in taking people at their word and giving them the benefit of the doubt. Back home, I've come up against my share of pretty nasty bad guys, but I never had to act the way they did to win a fight. I always found another way. I... I guess I'm saying I-I like being a hero, a symbol, and that's why I'm... quitting the Justice League. You don't act like heroes any more. [leaves]

Superman:
He's right.

Batman:
They set you up, Clark.

Superman:
Does it really make a difference? After all, I- They?

Batman:
They.

Lex Luthor:
The plan worked better than I had hoped. All I wanted was for Superman to destroy the energy source. But battling Captain Marvel? Demolishing Lexor City while those media morons filmed every horrific moment? It was more than I ever could have hoped for! Everything's going according to plan... and we're just getting started. [raises his glass for a toast with Amanda Waller]

Green Lantern:
[after J'onn assigns Vixen and Shayera to a mission] Why did you do that?

Martian Manhunter:
Vixen hasn't spent much time in space. Good experience for her.

Green Lantern:
You know what I mean. Sending my girlfriend and my ex on the same mission?

Martian Manhunter:
Difficult as it may be for you to believe, I don't take your love life into consideration when I make command decisions.

Shayera Hol:
Can you even see what you're shooting at?

Vigilante:
Nope - just keepin' 'em honest.

Vixen:
Men have fragile egos. To get what you want, you must know how to talk to them.

Parah Dul:
[to Shayera] Did you really think you could get away with betraying the entire Thanagarian empire?

Vigilante:
Hold up. I thought we were the ones she betrayed.

Vixen:
Sounds like she betrayed everybody, cowboy.

Paran Dul:
All we want is Shayera Hol. If you hand her over, the rest of you can go free. If you choose to fight with her, you'll most assuredly die with her.

Vigilante:
Let me think on that! [fires his gun at her]

Shayera Hol:
Maybe I should let them take me.

Vigilante:
Like horse hockey...! Pardon my French.

Vixen:
We're Justice League. We don't turn our backs on our teammates.

Vigilante:
[to Shayera] Still having a little trouble with that notion, huh?

Vigilante:
Hey, Vix, ain't this supposed to be your territory? Use some of your animal tricks to give us a leg up.

Vixen:
What makes you think I know anything about the jungle? I live in a loft in Chelsea.

Shayera Hol:
I'm not going to argue with you. I'm in charge, you have to-

Vigilante:
What, trust you? Seems to me that's been tried.

Vixen:
Vig, we can't do this now - she's mission leader.

Vigilante:
She's a Thanagarian! I don't know what you did during the invasion-

Vixen:
I fought them.

Vigilante:
So did I, for all the good it done me! Filthy hawks caught me, locked me up in a tiny cell, humiliated me - your people, Hawkgirl.

Kragger:
I'm supposed to believe you would give me your teammate? I'm brain-damaged, not stupid.

[Vigilante is flying a Thanagarian ship]

Vigilante:
Darn-son-ding-busted-horse-thievin'-alien-control-panel-which-can't-nobody-work-proper!

[Paran Dul and Vixen are fighting in the back of the ship]

Vigilante:
Ya folks mind?! Student driver up here!

[After Vixen tosses Paran Dul off the ship]

Vigilante:
You okay?

Vixen:
I will be if you let me drive.

Green Lantern:
[as Vixen and Shayera approach him, he holds out his arms] I was worried about you! [both girls stalk past him]

Vixen:
[to Shayera] When do you want to do this?

Shayera Hol:
No time like the present.

Green Lantern:
Mari? Shayera? Oh, man. This is gonna be ugly.

[cut to the girls sitting at a table, laughing]

Shayera Hol:
Not to mention his taste in movies!

Vixen:
I know! OLD YELLER? What's that about? [they both laugh harder]

Vixen:
And he's such a MARINE! You should see his underwear drawer. He folds his socks! [both laugh again]

Shayera Hol:
I have seen his underwear drawer. [both stop laughing]

Vixen:
He still has feelings for you, you know.

Shayera Hol:
I know.

Vixen:
Funny thing about me. Whenever I start a book or a movie, no matter how bad it is, I just can't stop until I get to the end. So even though John and I have only been together for a little while... well, I just like to see things through.

Shayera Hol:
En garde! [they smile and raise their glasses for a toast]

Huntress:
[beating up Cadmus security guards] You really know how to show a girl a good time, Q. When are we going out on a real date?

Question:
Shh! I'm trying to concentrate.

Huntress:
I'm not even in the Justice League anymore, you're lucky to have me along.

Question:
Hardly. You're drawn to my eccentric charm.

Huntress:
You get what you came for?

Question:
I believe so.

Huntress:
[suggestively] Which leaves the rest of our evening tantalizingly free...

Question:
There are three terabytes of data here, I'll be busy for days-

[An annoyed Huntress snatches the hard drive and glares at him.]

Question:
Um... dinner and a movie?

Huntress:
It's a start. [tucks the drive in her belt]

Question:
It's all connected. Not alternate reality. Time loop. Luthor becomes president, Flash is killed, Superman kills Luthor in retaliation, superhumans arms race, Armageddon, end of the world, inevitable. Is the future immutable? Can destiny be changed? Will they allow it?

Superman:
Something I can help you with?

Question:
I hope so. But I assume you don't want to discuss your White House weenie-roast in front of a crowd...

Superman:
[to others] I'll be back in a few minutes. [he leads Question to the empty conference room]

Question:
Always wondered what was in here. Private conference room. Original members only, yes? A place where you're free to discuss your secrets and lies...

Superman:
You said something about me in the White House.

Question:
Not you exactly. Another version of you, hmm?

Superman:
Stop dancing around it. Tell me what you know.

Question:
I know what you told everyone. The Justice Lords, a parallel universe version of the Justice League, came to our world to rid it of crime, just as they did on their own world. With Lex Luthor's help, our Justice League managed to rout them before they could impose their totalitarian will on our populace. I also know what you didn't tell anyone, outside of the original seven members of the Justice League. On that other Earth, so very much like our own, a Superman, so very much like you, killed the President.

Superman:
[tenses up, accidentally damaging a chair he was leaning on] Question, no one can know about this.

Question:
Or what? You'll incinerate me too?

Superman:
I'd never do anything like that.

Question:
Wouldn't you? Didn't you recently try to lobotomize Doomsday with your heat vision, just as the Justice Lord did?

Superman:
That's different!

Question:
It's the same. A heavily-armed Watchtower with an army of proactive heroes, Luthor running for President - if it's not quite the same, it soon will be! Have you seen Amanda Waller's computer simulations?

Superman:
Batman told me about them.

Question:
Did he tell you all the models predict that a war between the Justice League and the government will devastate the planet?!

Superman:
We would never fight the government!

Question:
Not even if Luthor was the government?! [beginning to ramble in fear] Predestined... Flash will die, you will kill Luthor, Armageddon... inevitable...

Superman:
Question, I'm... [puts a hand on his shoulder; the Question recoils with a gasp] I'm worried about you. You're mixed up. This world isn't like the other one. We're not the Justice Lords. Those things you're afraid of will never happen here. I won't let them.

[Question is silent for a moment, then walks out]

Question:
Have you seen the latest polls? It's beginning to look like you're going to be our next President. Just like in that other world.

Lex Luthor:
[casually] I wouldn't bet against me.

Question:
No, it wouldn't be prudent. I want you to understand something, Luthor. Although my distaste for you as a human being is brobdingnagian, what I'm about to do isn't personal.

Lex Luthor:
What are you babbling about?

Question:
Everything that exists has a specific nature. Each entity exists as something in particular and has characteristics that are part of what it is. A is A, and no matter what reality he calls home, Luthor is Luthor. If I'm to save the world, your existence must come to an end before you take office. [removes his tie]

Luthor:
[unafraid] You're going to kill me so that Superman can't.

Question:
I'm a well-known crackpot. The Justice League's reputation will survive my actions, and Superman's legacy will remain intact. [holds up his tie, preparing to choke Luthor]

Luthor:
Interesting plan. Unfortunately for you, it's not really an option.

[Question attempts to attack Luthor, but he uppercuts him straight to the waterwall with tremendous force and uses his newfound super-strength to beat him up]

Luthor:
President? Foolish faceless man. My campaign is a farce - a small part of a much grander scheme. President? Do you know how much power I'd have to give up to be President? That's right, conspiracy buff. I spent $75 million on a fake presidential campaign. All just to tick Superman off. [Luthor then slams Question, breaking his desk at the same time, and peers closer to him] Now. About those files you stole from me...

Superman:
A lot of things are starting to make sense now, Professor Hamilton. When did Cadmus recruit you?

Professor Emil Hamilton:
Recruit me? I went to them.

Superman:
How can you work for these people? Do you know what they are?

Professor Emil Hamilton:
Power brokers, politicians, criminals, and black ops mercenaries with one thing in common besides: they're humanity's last hope against your kind.

Superman:
What are you talking about? Humanity doesn't need protection from us.

Professor Emil Hamilton:
I used to believe that. I thought you were a guardian angel, come to answer our prayers. But Lucifer was an angel too, wasn't he?

Superman:
Professor-

Professor Emil Hamilton:
You forget: I've been on the receiving end of your wrath, when you brought Supergirl to S.T.A.R. Labs for medical treatment. I know what you're capable of.

Superman:
That's what this is about? One little scare and you betray us?! You stole Kara's DNA! Violated her trust! My trust!

Professor Emil Hamilton:
The chicken, or the egg, Superman?

Dr. Moon:
This doesn't have to continue. I can make you stop seeing the visions at any time. You stole files from our computer. Just tell me what you've learned.

Question:
[babbling about various conspiracy theories] Topically-applied fluoride doesn't prevent tooth decay. It does render teeth detectable by spy satellite!

Dr. Moon:
Tell me what you know.

Question:
The plastic tips at the ends of shoelaces are called aglets. Their true purpose is sinister!

Dr. Moon:
[getting annoyed] Tell me what you know.

Question:
There was a magic bullet! It was forged by Illuminati mystics to prevent us from learning the truth!

[Superman and Huntress smashes into Dr. Moon's lab; Dr. Moon pulls a gun]

Superman:
Don't be stupid - drop it.

[Dr. Moon drops the gun]

Huntress:
Sorry - not good enough. [knocks Dr. Moon to the floor and pulls her crossbow on him]

Superman:
Huntress, that wasn't part of our deal!

Huntress:
[backs off] Yeah. Okay.

Huntress:
Lean on me. We're getting out of here.

Question:
[weak, babbling] Secret messages... encoded in amino acid chains in carb-free breakfast bars...

Huntress:
Come on, baby doll. It's all right.

Superman:
Good to see you, Captain. Cover our flank.

Captain Atom:
I'm afraid you misunderstand. I'm speaking as an officer of the United States Air Force.

Huntress:
Bad time to grow a sense of humor, Cap.

Captain Atom:
No joke, ma'am. I'm currently assigned to General Eiling's special projects unit. My orders are to prevent you from taking Question out of this facility. So how's this gonna go down?

[Captain Atom is trying to stop Superman and Huntress from rescuing Question]

Superman:
This is ridiculous. If you're not gonna help us, get out of our way!

Captain Atom:
Not an option, Superman. I've got my orders, legal and proper.

Huntress:
Dude, Superman just told you to step aside.

Captain Atom:
I heard him, ma'am. Not gonna happen. [Superman makes to move past him, but he forms red energy with his fists and punches Superman across the room with ease] I control radiation, Superman. That includes red sun radiation.

[Huntress and Question are trying to escape, she tries opening a door]

Huntress:
Locked. Sure, why not?

[A Cadmus medic is about to see to Captain Atom, Superman intervenes]

Superman:
Don't you touch him! He's Justice League. [Carries Captain Atom out]

[Huntress removes the Question's mask, revealing his true - though battered and bruised - face]

Question:
You were right. I am the ugliest guy of all time.

Huntress:
Not in my eyes. [kisses him]

Superman:
What happened, Question? How did Cadmus get ahold of you?

Question:
I went to kill Luthor so that you wouldn't be able to.

Superman:
That's not how we do things.

Question:
How do we do things, Superman? Your counterpart killed Luthor, this Luthor is scheming to enrage you-

Superman:
Doing a pretty good job of it.

Question:
Ruining your reputation, turning your friends and comrades against you, creating a superpowered arms race - but you cannot succumb.

Superman:
I can shut down Cadmus without killing Luthor.

Question:
Carry on, then. If you're wrong, it's not like it's the end of the world... right?

[Discussing Cadmus]

Superman:
Give me one good reason not to go down there and take them out.

Martian Manhunter:
If you didn't know the answer, you wouldn't have bothered to ask.

Superman:
Don't handle me, J'onn! I'm serious!

Martian Manhunter:
We don't have hard evidence that they've committed any crimes.

Superman:
Oh, come on! You know they're dirty!

Green Arrow:
Then maybe we should put more energy into proving it, and less into acting like a bunch of hyperthyroid stormtroopers.

Superman:
I don't remember asking you for your opinion!

Green Arrow:
No? How about when you guys hijacked me up here against my will and made me join this team? Batman said I was supposed to keep you guys honest.

Superman:
Do I look like Batman to you?

Flash:
Actually, you kind of do. Especially when you're all scowly like that.

Superman:
We can't let Cadmus get away with it!

Martian Manhunter:
No one's saying we should, but we have to keep a cool head.

Supergirl:
Do you know what they did to me?!

Green Arrow:
Look, kid. Hamilton's a piece of garbage, and Luthor is worse, but this isn't the way to stop them.

Martian Manhunter:
We must also consider the possibility that Cadmus is right to be afraid of us...

Supergirl:
[outraged] WHAT?!

Martian Manhunter:
...and there is strong evidence of Cadmus having legitimate connections to the government.

Superman:
Maybe, to some rogue black ops group! The real government wouldn't get involved in anything like this!

Green Arrow:
Hey, I'm the only guy in the room who doesn't have superpowers, and let me tell you: you guys scare me. What if you do decide to go marching down there, taking care of whoever you think is guilty? Who could stop you? Me?

Supergirl:
So you want the government to have a bunch of superhuman weapons just to keep us in check?!

Green Arrow:
No!... I don't know... Yeah! [regaining composure] Look, I'm an old lefty. The government must do for people what people can't do for themselves. The people sure can't protect themselves from the likes of us.

Superman:
We're not talking about the government. We're talking about a shadow cabinet that's taken it upon themselves to eliminate us! They came after us, we have to hit them back hard.

Flash:
Grammy Flash always used to say the trouble with "an eye for an eye"... is that everybody ends up blind.

Professor Emil Hamilton:
Hold still, Galatea! You're invulnerable. This can't possibly be hurting you.

Galatea:
Boredom is my kryptonite... Okay, kryptonite is my kryptonite, but you know what I mean.

[Galatea is about to depart on her mission and stops at the door.]

Professor Emil Hamilton:
What?

Galatea:
Nothing. [Galatea goes back to Hamilton and hugs him] Goodbye, Daddy.

[Hamilton stands in silent shock as Galatea leaves]

Superman:
What have we done?

Martian Manhunter:
We haven't done anything. An outside force took control of the binary fusion generator. Whoever's behind that is responsible for the destruction of Cadmus. Not us.

Superman:
Tell that to all those people in New Mexico. They're terrified of us. So's the government.

Green Lantern:
We can't let that stop us from doing our job. We aren't here to be liked. We're here to make the world a safer place.

Superman:
How're we doing so far today?

Batman:
You want me to what?!

Wonder Woman:
Turn yourself over into U.S. custody, along with the rest of us.

Flash:
Yeah, that makes sense, okay.

Superman:
Meet us at the coordinates I’m sending first. We should all go over together.

Batman:
This is the single dumbest plan I’ve ever heard. If you’re feeling guilty, clear your own name. Don’t stand on the sidelines waiting for somebody else to do it.

Wonder Woman:
We’ve already voted. Five in favor.

Flash:
Six.

Wonder Woman:
You have to come with us, Bruce.

Batman:
I don’t have to do anything. I’m a part-timer, remember? [Hangs up]

Wonder Woman:
Actually, he took it a lot better than I’d expected.

Superman:
As promised, we're surrendering ourselves to your authority.

Officer:
[to the founding members of the League] Where's Batman?

Flash:
Running late. The Batmobile, it lost a wheel. The Joker got away. [a soldier glares at him] That's what I heard.

Supergirl:
I'm worried about them, Steel. I'm worried about my cousin.

Steel:
Don't be. Everybody in the League is good at their job, but those seven? They're the best ever. Not because they're the most powerful - they aren't. Not all of them. And it's not just because they were the first. It's because they're special. They've proven it time and again. They make the hard choices, they set the example. They do what's right, not what's easiest. And they always come out on top. They're gonna be okay, Kara. We all are.

Batman:
Someone took over our fusion cannon by remote control. There are maybe three people on Earth smart enough to pull that off. Two of them were already on the Watchtower. And that leaves...

Amanda Waller:
Luthor. That's where you're trying to lead me, right?

Batman:
You're too smart to trust him.

Amanda Waller:
Who says I do? He provides off-the-books funding for Cadmus. As far as I'm concerned, that's all he's good for.

Batman:
Then you must know he's got his own agenda.

Amanda Waller:
He wants to be President. That's agenda enough for anybody.

Batman:
Almost anybody.

Supergirl:
You know what? No matter how bad you beat me, I'm real, not a clone.

Galatea:
Shut up.

Supergirl:
Deep down, you know the truth. You're not a person. You're just a weapon, grown out of one of Hamilton's petri dishes.

Galatea:
SHUT UP!

Amanda Waller:
[About Luthor] He played me. I knew he was a snake and I still let him bite me.

[As Luthor finishes his intended android body]

Lex Luthor:
Now you're perfect! A perfect, super-powerful, immortal body. A suitable place for me to spend the rest of eternity. Ironic - years of plotting, hundreds of millions spent on Cadmus R&D projects, and none of it bore fruit. No, it's a lowly employee of LexCorp, Doctor Ivo, creator of Amazo, who we have to thank for my impending godhood.

Batman:
That was the last piece I needed.

[Luthor turns to see Batman behind him]

Lex Luthor:
Got it all figured out, have you?

Batman:
When you and Atom worked together to stop the first Amazo, he showed you the blueprints. And I suspect you have a photographic memory.

Lex Luthor:
I'm too modest to boast.

Batman:
The real purpose of Cadmus was to give you superpowers.

Lex Luthor:
And to ruin Superman's reputation. Imagine how sweet it will be when I save the world from the menace of the Justice League! Now when I kill Superman, they'll build statues in my honor!

Batman:
Maybe next time.

[He throws a Batarang at the Amazo body, but to his shock, Luthor catches it and it explodes in his hand without harming him]

Lex Luthor:
That... was uncalled for.

Amanda Waller:
Hey, Lex! That android is Cadmus property. You're going to have to find somewhere else to keep your brain! [destroys the Amazo body] A nano-disassembler beam. Your design, I believe.

Lex Luthor:
Arrogant COW! It'll take weeks to build myself another android body!

Amanda Waller:
You ain't got weeks, baldy. You're under arrest for trying to use the Justice League's space-gun to murder everyone at Cadmus.

[Luthor charges at Waller, smacking the weapon aside and throwing her to the floor]

Lex Luthor:
Did you really think you could take me down all by yourself?

Amanda Waller:
Actually, yeah. But on the off chance I might've been wrong...

[The founding Leaguers have entered through the window]

Flash:
TADA!

Superman:
It's over, Lex.

Lex Luthor:
Not until I-

[Lex suddenly screams in agony; metal tendrils and components burst out of him, and a familiar Kryptonian symbol - along with a skull-like face - appears]

Brainiac:
I hoped to remain hidden, until I could install myself into the android. But you forced my hand.

Superman:
Brainiac!

[After Brainiac reveals himself from within Lex Luthor]

Flash:
Dude. That is messed up!

Lex Luthor:
I don't understand what's happening!

Brainiac:
You are under my control. I have lain dormant within you for years, Lex Luthor, subtly influencing your actions until we arrived at this point. Do you not recall my kidnapping you in this very building?

[A flashback to the Superman:
TAS episode "Ghost in the Machine" is shown]

Lex Luthor:
Yes... You forced me to build you a new body.

Brainiac:
Kal-El destroyed that body, foiling my plans. In any event, I always have a backup plan. Consider: how could you have survived that point-blank blast from me, unless-

Lex Luthor:
Unless... it wasn't intended to kill me?

Brainiac:
The beam carried a nanotech payload that inserted a microscopic, holistic copy of my program inside your body. Since then, I have steadily grown in strength, protecting this body until I could arrange my transfer into a more suitable one.

Lex Luthor:
You cured my cancer; gave me super-strength!

Brainiac:
Your animal-protein shell was insufficient for my needs. Improvements were required.

Flash:
Hate to interrupt this special live performance of The Thing With Two Heads, but it's time to go to jail now.

Amanda Waller:
What he said. [shoots Brainiac/Luthor several times] We'll take it back to Cadmus and see if the tech boys can't pull Luthor out of what's left of that hunk of- [Brainiac/Luthor suddenly stands, instantly repairing] I'll be dipped!

Brainiac:
Be gone.

Brainiac:
You are defeated. Any unique information that dwells within you will be digitized. Your physical forms will be deleted. Such is the ultimate fate of this world, but for you, the end comes now.

[Brainiac launches tentacles at the Leaguers' bodies; they scream as they are hit one by one]

Flash:
I am so willing to wait my turn... [a tentacle hits him last]

Martian Manhunter:
No! [phases himself free and rips the tentacles out of Brainiac]

Brainiac:
No! I was not yet prepared for this battle. [uses the LexCorp tower to form a massive Skullship] Now I am prepared.

Lex Luthor:
Where are we?

Brainiac:
Several miles from where the Justice League is searching. I must make repairs to my damaged systems.

Lex Luthor:
And where do I fit into all of this?

Brainiac:
The same as to everything else. I will record your information, then destroy the original.

Lex Luthor:
[Laughs]

Brainiac:
You are amused by my mission? Explain yourself.

Lex Luthor:
Say you succeed. You absorb all the information on Earth and then destroy it. Then what?

Brainiac:
I repeat the process across the entire universe, until I have recorded all knowledge and destroyed all of creation.

Lex Luthor:
And then?

Brainiac:
Then my program is complete. My function is fulfilled.

Lex Luthor:
If you possess all information, you're a god.

Brainiac:
My program will be complete. It is the end of all things.

Lex Luthor:
What if it were just the beginning? I can show you a purpose beyond the fulfillment of your programming.

Brainiac:
It is extremely unlikely that your inferior human intellect has anything to offer me.

Lex Luthor:
Since we've become so close, I'm gonna let that pass. I'm offering you the one thing you've always lacked. A certain something that I happen to have in abundance.

Brainiac:
Which is?

Lex Luthor:
Imagination. I've got a proposition for ya, partner.

[Brainiac absorbs a Dark Heart drone]

Lex Luthor:
Brainiac?

Brainiac:
I have added this technology to my database. The nano-assemblers are already slaved to my command routines. With but a thought, they will convert any raw material into whatever I choose.

Lex Luthor:
Then we're ready to begin. Let me show you-

Brainiac:
I have learned from my encounter with Darkseid that organic beings cannot be trusted.

Lex Luthor:
Can't argue with that. But if you and I are one - truly one - trust won't be an issue, will it?

Brainiac:
Agreed.

[Brainiac takes control of more drones. Their matter spreads over him and Luthor, and they are merged into one being - Brainthor]

Brainthor:
We are one. And we comprehend! We will build a machine that will allow us to absorb the information of the entire Earth in a single stroke. And then, the galaxy... the entire universe! We'll remake the universe!

Superman:
I know you're in there somewhere, Lex. Fight him!

Brainthor:
You're right. I am in here... and I like it! I'm about to get everything I ever wanted: power, ultimate knowledge, immortality!

Superman:
And you'll destroy the Earth to get it?!

Brainthor:
It's business, Superman. There are always trade-offs.

Shayera:
[charging forward] Less talking, more hitting! [The League rushes in]

Brainthor:
[Brainiac's voice] You cannot be allowed to interfere at this delicate stage. [Blasts Shayera, creates seven Brainiac Constructs] [Lex's voice] No, no, no. We can do better than that. [The Brainiac Constructs transform into the Justice Lords and Lord Flash]

Android Lord Superman:
[Attacking Superman] We've lost their trust! The people are afraid of us! Power corrupts, after all, and who has more power than Superman?

Android Lord Hawkgirl:
[attacking Shayera] Do you think there's a single person on Thanagar or Earth that doesn't despise us?!

Android Lord Green Lantern:
[firing at Green Lantern] We loved the traitor! Loved and lost her - FOREVER!

Android Lord Flash:
[attacking Flash] Slacker! Child! Clown! We have no place here among the world's greatest heroes!

Flash:
Says you! I've got a seat at the big conference table. I'm gonna paint my logo on it! [Destroys Brainiac-Lord Flash]

Superman:
[Beating up Brainiac-Lord Superman] I'm NOT like you! I'm NOTHING like you!

[Android Lord Superman turns into Lex Luthor]

Android Lex Luthor:
This is the part where you kill me, right? [Superman hesitates] Come on, use your heat vision. You know you want to.

Shayera Hol:
[after Green Lantern destroys Brainiac-Lord Hawkgirl] You enjoyed that a little too much.

Green Lantern:
Just letting off some steam. She broke my heart, you know.

Shayera Hol:
[Knocks off the head of Brainiac-Lord Green Lantern] Likewise, I'm sure.

Flash:
[After destroying Brainthor's machine, weakly] You lose.

[Brainthor forms two army officers who restrain Flash]

Brainthor:
Hardly. Look around you — the Justice League is completely defeated, and so are you. For all your efforts, you have but inconvenienced me, speck. [forms a rifle] But I'm still just human enough to enjoy taking my revenge. Looks like The Question was right all along. I kill you, and then, Armageddon. Right on schedule.

Flash:
No! [Breaks free and stands up]

Brainthor:
Are you going to fight me, boy?

[Flash pauses, then goes running off in the opposite direction. Brainthor begins rebuilding his tower, when Flash comes in from the other side of the planet and punches him at full speed; Flash keeps accelerating, and hits Brainthor again. And again, and again, and again, again, again... Eventually, Flash stops and starts rapidly punching Brainthor. Thereby, extracting Brainiac from Luthor molecule by molecule. Massive explosion ensues. Debris clears revealing... Lex Luthor, sans Braniac, laying panting on the ground, the rest of the core seven awaken]

Flash:
[Electricity rippling through his body, stumbles forward] I feel kind of... funny. [Fades away]

Wonder Woman:
Flash!

[Superman runs towards the non-existent Flash. The remaining six appear horrified]

Luthor:
[smugly] What do you know? I did kill him. [Looks up to see a furious Superman glaring at him.] I was mistaken earlier. I think this is the part where you kill me.

[Superman places Luthor in a choke hold and prepares to incinerate him. Wonder Woman initially attempts to intervene, but Batman stops her]

Superman:
[Eyes return to normal] I'm not the man who killed President Luthor. Right now, I wish to heaven that I were, but I'm not.

Martian Manhunter:
Superman, everyone, Flash is still alive. I'm in telepathic contact with him. His spirit is weak, and it's growing weaker. But he's still here.

Shayera Hol:
[Walks in the direction J'onzz is moving. Her right arm slips into a portal] FLASH!

Flash:
[From within the portal] Shayera? It's so beautiful here. There's this force - a Speed Force. It's calling me home. I have to go now.

Shayera Hol:
No, Wally! Take my hand! [Struggles to get a hold of him]

Green Lantern:
[Grabs Hawkgirl] I'm here, too, Wally!

Superman:
We're all here! [The rest of the League form a line, struggling to pull Flash out]

Green Lantern:
You gotta come back to us! [Hawkgirl grunts, and pulls Flash out of the Speed Force]

Flash:
I can never go that fast again. If I do... I don't think I'm coming back. [Shayera nestles him. Green Lantern, behind her, smiles, relieved. The rest smile]

Superman:
This is the hardest thing I've ever had to say... I'm guilty. We're guilty. Of the sin of hubris. We had the best of intentions, to be Earth's guardians, to keep you safe, but we failed you. We looked down on the world from our tower in the sky, and let our power and responsibility separate us from the very people we were supposed to protect. No one should ever be afraid of us. For that reason, we're decommissioning the Watchtower. The energy weapon up there is already gone; we're taking down the station as well.

[The crowd looks astonished and whispers amongst themselves]

Superman:
There's more. We want to thank the members of the Justice League for your courageous service, but in the future, you'll all have to act as independent agents. We're not going to be an army anymore. As of right now, we're disbanding the Justice League. This is the end.

[The founding members begin to walk off the stage, but are stopped when Green Arrow speaks]

Green Arrow:
Says who? You remember what we did yesterday? We saved the world, again. You don't think that has any value? Well, think again, pal! The Justice League goes on, with or without you. Look, nobody can question your service or commitment to making things better. If you're quitting because you think you've already done your fair share, fine. We'll throw you a parade. But if you're quitting because it's easier than continuing the fight, then you're not the heroes we all thought you were. The world needs the Justice League, and the Justice League needs you, Superman!

[The crowd cheers and claps, along with Superman's fellow Leaguers. Green Arrow shrugs, and Batman gives Superman a subtle smile. Superman smiles back, and returns to the microphone]

Superman:
All right! Okay! But there are going to have to be some changes. Maybe we can open an embassy on Earth, so we can be closer to the people. We can have a rotating staff...

Batman:
[to Wonder Woman, as Superman continues] You guys can handle this. I've got work back in Gotham. You've got my number.

Wonder Woman:
I think so.

Batman:
[to Green Arrow] Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

Green Arrow:
"Who guards the guardians?" We got it covered. [rides off with Black Canary]

[Daily Planet office; night - Lois is working]

Clark Kent:
Working late?

Lois Lane:
Hey, Smallville. Finishing up my Justice League story. How many "L"s in "ambivalent"?

Clark Kent:
One - is that your take on all this, Lois?

Lois Lane:
I've been as tough on the Justice League as anyone - especially on Superman. But that's just because he's always set such a high standard. I'm gonna cut him a break - he's only human... you know what I mean.

Clark Kent:
[smiles] Yeah - I do.

Terry McGinnis:
I've got some questions I need you to answer.

Amanda Waller:
Of course you do, boy. Why else go to all the trouble of breaking into the lair of the great and powerful Amanda Waller? You want some green tea? I do.

Terry McGinnis:
How could you do it to me, Bruce?!

Bruce Wayne:
The only thing that matters is the mission. You know that.

Terry McGinnis:
What about people, Bruce? Dick, Barbara, Tim, Selina - they all loved you, but eventually every single one of them left you! Ever wonder why?

Bruce Wayne:
Not for an instant. They quit because when it came down to it, they didn't have the heart for the mission. Are you about to quit too? It doesn't really surprise me.

Terry McGinnis:
My dad wasn't a superhero. He didn't save the world from the near-apocalypse of '09, he never went toe-to-toe with Mr. Freeze, but he was a good man just the same. Even after he and Mom got divorced, he always tried to do the right thing. My brother and I were always provided for; when Mom couldn't quite make the bills, he always helped out. He tried to teach me right from wrong - would have too, if I'd ever listened to him. And he never laid a hand on me, although Lord knows I was asking for it.

Bruce Wayne:
What's your point?

Terry McGinnis:
[angrily] "What's my point"?! My point is, I never once doubted he loved me with all his heart! My point is, all those warm feelings I had for my dad - turns out they were just another lie! Another in a long list of things you've stolen from me! My point is, I just found out that Warren McGinnis isn't my father! YOU are.

Bruce Wayne:
...What do you want from me?

Terry McGinnis:
I wanna know the whole truth.

Bruce Wayne:
Sounds like you already do.

Terry McGinnis:
Guess I didn't wanna believe you were so incredibly ARROGANT that you thought the world couldn't go on without you.

Bruce Wayne:
Or someone like me. It's not arrogance, it's fact.

Terry McGinnis:
You set the whole thing up!

Bruce Wayne:
How? You were already a teenager when I first met your mother.

Terry McGinnis:
I don't know. Maybe you dug up some of that old Cadmus nanotech, used it to have my genes rewritten to match yours!

Bruce Wayne:
That technology's been illegal for over 40 years.

Terry McGinnis:
Didn't stop the Joker from using it on Tim Drake!

[Bruce's eyes widen in shock over the comment]

Terry McGinnis:
[remorseful] All right, low blow. [smiling sarcastically] Because you'd NEVER lie to me, right?

Bruce Wayne:
Fine. Believe what you want. But you know as well as I do, accident or not - it's a good thing that you're almost a clone of me. The world DOES need a Batman, and it always will. [suddenly groans in pain, clutches at his heart and tries to open a medication bottle] The mantle of Batman is an honor, Terry... [groans again, spilling the bottle and pills across the floor]

Terry McGinnis:
You know what, old man? All those years, turns out everybody was right. You are insane. Being Batman's no honor. It's a curse.

Amanda Waller:
Look at all this. A pill for blood pressure, a pill for my diabetes, a pill to replace my pituitary function. I don't even know what this one's for... oh, yeah, Alzheimer's.

Amanda Waller:
It's been many a year since I had a handsome gentleman caller. Why is it that superheroes are always... so good-looking?

Terry McGinnis:
You know why I can't marry you. If-

Dana Tan:
"If the bad guys ever found out I was Batman, they'd try to get to me by hurting you", blah blah blah.

Terry McGinnis:
It's nothing to joke about.

Dana Tan:
You're right! There could be supervillains hiding in the tall grass!

Parasite II:
Ruined, I tell you!

Kai-Ro:
I would offer my condolences... but that would be insincere.

Kai-Ro:
Good of you to drop in, considering that three quarters of the Iniquity Collective are from your rogues gallery.

Amanda Waller:
The Justice League found themselves cleaning up one of my old messes. The second group of villains to call themselves the Royal Flush Gang. Or the third—who can keep it all straight?

[The League has just been informed that Ace of the Royal Flush Gang has to be stopped, and is presented with a weapon to do it.]

Batman:
I'll do it, Shayera. I'm the only one of us Ace knows. She might let me get close enough to use it.

Amanda Waller:
Do you understand what you're agreeing to? The only way to stop Ace for certain... is to kill her.

[Ace is on a swing set in the middle of her fantasy castle]

Ace:
Batman.

Batman:
Ace.

Ace:
Did you like playing with my new Royal Flush Gang?

Batman:
Can't say that I did.

Ace:
Yeah. They aren't any fun at all. I gave them their powers and they still hardly ever play with me.

Batman:
Can't imagine why.

Ace:
When I was little, Cadmus used to make me play all kinds of games, but they weren't any fun either. They'd strap me into their machines and poke wires into my brain - "Ace, can you move this object with your mind?" [Telekinetically uproots a tree] Yeah, I can move it. They weren't really games, you know. [stops swinging] They were training me, turning me into a weapon. "For justice," they said. They got their weapon - I got cheated out of my childhood.

Batman:
I know what that's like.

Ace:
You do, don't you?

Batman:
...

Ace:
You don't have to answer; I've read your mind. That's how I knew you weren't going to use Mrs. Waller's weapon on me.

[Batman takes the weapon out of his belt]

Batman:
No. I wasn't. [tosses it away]

Ace:
You were going to try and talk me into fixing what I've changed...before I die.

Batman:
Yes.

Ace:
I'm dying very soon.

Batman:
[softly] Yes...I'm sorry.

Ace:
[tears in her eyes] Could you stay with me? I'm scared.

[Batman walks over and sits on the swing next to her. He offers Ace his hand and she takes it. Outside the castle, the Justice League have rounded up and tied up the Royal Flush Gang, when they and everything else Ace altered suddenly return to normal. As the castle vanishes, Batman returns with Ace's body in his arms]

Amanda Waller:
[continuing narration] He sat with her, until her time came.

Amanda Waller:
Honey, Bruce didn't overwrite your DNA with his - I did.

Terry McGinnis:
[astonished] How? Why?

Amanda Waller:
Because the world always needs a Batman. Not that I always thought so, mind you. Before you were born, Bruce and I were enemies. His Justice League was easily the most powerful force on Earth. As you know, I was in charge of Project Cadmus. Over the years I came to respect Batman, even trust him.

Terry McGinnis:
I guess the law of averages means somebody'd have to.

Amanda Waller:
Did you know I was the government liaison with the Justice League for a while? I met some extraordinary people in that job, but none of them were the equal of Batman.

Terry McGinnis:
[bitterly] Right, who could be?

Amanda Waller:
Not my point. I saw him save the day dozens of times with nothing but his wits, body and will. But I saw something else as the years passed - he was getting older. Slower. Soon he'd have to retire, or more likely, someone would finally manage to kill him. The thought of a world without Batman was unacceptable. So, I decided to make a new one. I used my old Cadmus connections to gather the technology necessary for Project: Batman Beyond. Bruce's DNA was easy enough to obtain. He left it all over town. [Terry gives her a look] Not REMOTELY what I meant! [Cut to a shot of Batman being bandaged by a paramedic] Then I found a young Neo-Gotham couple, with psychological profiles nearly identical to those of Bruce's parents. Your father thought he was getting a flu shot; actually it was a nanotech solution programmed to rewrite his reproductive material into an exact copy of Bruce Wayne's. A little over a year later, your mother gave birth to you, a child sharing half her genetic material... and half Bruce's. But when you're making a Batman, genetics is only part of the story - the rest is tragedy.

[Cut to outside a movie theater playing The Grey Ghost Strikes; a young Terry leaves with his parents while Waller narrates]

Amanda Waller:
Stop me if you've heard it before: you're eight years old, your parents have just taken you to a rousing adventure film, a grand time is had by all.

[Cut to theater parking lot; the Phantasm waits in the darkness]

Amanda Waller:
But unknown to you, a mysterious figure hides in the shadows. My plan was simple - the killer would leap out at you and kill your family. The trauma would put you on the path to becoming Batman. One problem: my assassin wouldn't pull the trigger.

[Phantasm backs off and leaves unnoticed; cut to Phantasm with Waller]

Amanda Waller:
I argued with her, but deep down, I knew she was right. People say Batman's obsessive, that he'd do anything to achieve his goals - but he'd never resort to murder. So if I was to honor all he stood for... neither could I.

Terry McGinnis:
And yet my dad wound up murdered, anyway. Don't you get it? No matter what you did or didn't do, I was gonna end up being Bruce's carbon copy. It was fate.

Amanda Waller:
You know, the Lord's been a great comfort to me all these years. Try not to look so surprised. Yeah, I've got a lot to answer for when I meet Him, but I'd like to believe for all the harm I've caused, I've also done some good. Maybe the angels need a sharp sword too. Like the good book says, He moves in mysterious ways. His plan is a mystery, but here's what isn't. He gave us free will, we choose our own fate, for good or ill. I've known Bruce Wayne for over fifty years, and I've been keeping an eye on you your whole life. You're not Bruce's clone, you're his son. There are similarities, mind you, but more than a few differences too. You don't quite have his magnificent brain, for instance. You do have his heart, though. And for all that fierce exterior, I've never met anyone who cared as deeply about his fellow man as Bruce Wayne - except maybe you. You wanna have a better life than the old man's? Take care of the people who love you. Or don't. It's your choice.

Bruce Wayne:
You're in my chair.

Terry McGinnis:
Yeah, guess I am. [gets up]

Bruce Wayne:
Where the devil have you been? [sits down]

Terry McGinnis:
I had some stuff to take care of.

Bruce Wayne:
Enigma's overrated - especially at 3 A.M. You could've called. I made you some soup, but it's cold.

Terry McGinnis:
Sorry - didn't mean to worry you.

Bruce Wayne:
[trying to open his medication bottle] I was WORRIED about Gotham. If Batman's not around-

Terry McGinnis:
[opens bottle for Bruce and holds out the pills] I've got it covered. Always.

Bruce Wayne:
[looks at Terry for a moment and takes the pills] Kent called. Nothing apocalyptic, he just wants your opinion on a case he's working. Said you could meet him at the Metro Tower.

Terry McGinnis:
Right. Better suit up. [heads for Batcave entrance]

Bruce Wayne:
You should eat something first. Keep up your strength.

Terry McGinnis:
When I get back.

Bruce Wayne:
You're a stubborn piece of work, you know that?

Terry McGinnis:
[smiling] Just like my old man.

[Batman flies past a police hovercar (in a manner similar to Man-Bat in the first Batman:
TAS episode, "On Leather Wings"]

Pilot:
Did you see that?