Kim Possible, Season 1

Kim:
A naked mole rat? Ron, ever think about getting a normal pet?

Ron:
Like what?

Kim:
I don't know, something... not naked.

Ron:
Tokyo! I love the French!

Kim:
Doctor Drakken...

Ron:
Our arch enemy!...Well, your arch enemy. I... err... ...You know, I don't think he even knows my name.

[Ron fires a grappling hook, which tears his pants off.]

Ron:
AH!

Kim:
Ron, quit fooling around!

Ron:
Okay, I'm going...

[fires a second grappling hook, which tears his shirt off.]

Ron:
Oh, c-, are you kidding me?!

Drakken:
So, Kim Possible, you think to thwart my plan...!

Shego:
(Cuts him off) Don't stop to tell her the plan!

Mr. Possible:
Kimmie, let's not talk about "hotties" at breakfast any more.

[Mrs. Possible comes in]

Mrs. Possible:
Who's a hottie?

Mr. Possible:
We're not talking about it!

Ron:
So...Heinrich! Got any teenage daughters who might want to go to a big American dance party?

Heinrich:
Nein!

Ron:
Nine? One's plenty!...Or maybe two.

Ron:
Hey, I helped with that avalanche too, you know.

Kim:
You STARTED it.

Ron:
You want to steal Christmas!

Drakken:
Not even close.

Kim:
So this is a take-over-the-world thing, Ron.

Ron:
That would be so cool if it wasn't going to hurt us.

Drakken:
Why did she have to be a cheerleader?! If she was on the debate team, I would have vaporized her by now!

Ron:
Kim, Drakken's in jail. Christmas was saved! What's the big?

Kim:
Okay, first of all, he was not trying to steal Christmas!

Kim:
Thanks for the lift, Heinrich.

Heinrich:
Aw, Kim, you silly! After you save our village from that avalanche!

Kim:
No big.

Mr. Barkin:
Stoppable, you know the lay of the land?

Ron:
Every rock, every tree, every bloodthirsty tick... it haunts me.

Mr. Barkin:
Good. Where's the phone?

[Flashback:
]

8-Year-Old Ron:
Mom, hey, it's me again. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know I just called three minutes ago. But I just wanted to ask you one more time... can you please get me out of here?!

[Flash-forward]

Ron:
I seem to recall a payphone.

Ron:
This place holds a lot of memories for me. Some bad, some...No. No, no, all bad.

Ron:
We'll see who's the squeeb at the end of the summer when you're all wrinkled up like a prune, and I gotta a suitcase full of hand-made wallets, pot holders and lanyards.

Gill:
Oh, I am no longer Gil, now I am Gill!

Ron:
...What's the difference?

Gill:
I added an "L". You know, as in gill, as in, these things that grew when I mutated?!

Gill:
So, Ron, did you ever hear why they shut down the camp?

Ron:
Uhhh... no.

Gill:
It turns out - oh, you're gonna love this - the lake had been polluted with runoff from the Science Camp!

[Cuts to Science Camp]

Ron:
I thought that was Band Camp.

Gill:
No, that's Band Camp.

[Cuts to Band Camp]

Ron:
Really? I thought that was Clown Camp.

Gill:
No, that's Clown Camp!

[Cuts to Clown Camp]

Ron:
Oh, yeah. I loved those clowns.

Kim:
Gill, we can get you help. We know a lot of scientists who-

Gill:
Science?! Science made me this way!

Ron:
Are you sure it wasn't the clowns?

Ron:
Part of me is terrified...But part of me is flattered.

Barkin:
This is sick and wrong!

Ron:
Hey, Gill, maybe this is a good time to sing the Camp Wannaweep Friendship Song?

Barkin:
CHEESE and CRACKERS, I'm mutatin'!

Gill:
He's out on the lake? My lake? How dumb can he be?

Bonnie:
You know, just because you saved us doesn't mean you're not still, you know, you. But it would really stink if that jerk had turned us into mutants. And you were kinda brave, and all.

Ron:
[high-fives Rufus] Who rocks?

Bonnie:
[sighs] You do.

Kim:
I know what's best for Ron. Even if he doesn't.

Kim:
Your house sucks up so much power, it's causing blackouts all over Europe.

Senor Senior, Sr.:
And these people without power, they are... inconvenienced?

Kim:
Very.

Senor Senior, Sr.:
You see, Junior, how awful it is to be poor?

Ron:
You've got doors that go - that go "whoosh"!

Senor Senior, Jr.:
I always wondered about the "whoosh"...

Senor Senior, Sr.:
I like the "whoosh." It's the door saying, "I am closed."

Kim:
Oh, good. Missiles. I am so glad you told him to get missiles!

Ron:
Oh, so I made a few suggestions - does that make it my fault?

Kim:
One hundred percent.

Ron:
Oh, man, I have a zit on my nose!

Kim:
Will you get over yourself?

Ron:
You do too! Right there!

Kim:
Self-activating lasers! [She pulls Ron away, and they dive beneath the table. Kim looks accusingly at Ron] He threw in some traps.

Ron:
Hey, on the positive side, this guy is clearly a terrific listener.

Kim:
[to Ron] Never, never tell anyone to go out and buy spinning tops of doom.

Senor Senior, Sr.:
The piranha won't be here till Monday, but I assure you, the koi have not been fed in days.

Drakken:
Who wants to build a robot tick? I do, I do!

Shego:
Er...Doctor Drakken? You do know you said that out loud, don't you?

Kim:
What?

Detention Guy:
Never been this close to a cheerleader. Your skin is so smooth and zit-free...like a baby's bottom...

Kim:
Ron, U-Turn

Ron:
What? Oh gotta save your boys.

Shego:
Ooh! We go her boys!

Kim:
They're not my boys!

Shego:
You! Yeah, you don't touch anything.

Drakken:
Enough chit-chat! My pets are famished! Perhaps you two could stay...

Kim:
(Cuts him off) For lunch?

Drakken:
(Quickly) I wasn't going to say that.

Ron:
Oh, dude, you were so 'for lunch.'

Drakken:
Aargh! Yes! Then - stay-for-lunch!

Shego:
Nano? [laughs] What's 'Nano'?

Drakken:
[facepalm] Nano. Tiny. Mini.

Shego:
Why don't you just say "mini" then?

Drakken:
'Cause nano sounds about a hundred times better!

Ron:
Remote-control lasers! I can handle this... [glares at lasers, then slumps] I got nothing. Kim?

Barkin:
Nobody escapes MY detention! Possible, you're going down!

Drakken:
A beep!...Is that a good beep?

Drakken:
If you could just tell me what to do I could do it.

Shego:
What did we agree on?

Drakken:
I don't touch anything.

Shego:
Yeah!

Drakken:
[watching Shego use the beam to tear the roof off] I could've done that.

Shego:
But can you do this? [Shego somersaults into Bueno Nacho]

Shego:
Kim Possible has something that belongs to us!

Kim:
Guess what? I don't want it.

Shego:
It's on you? What like stuck?

Kim:
Hello, it's not a nose ring. [pointing to the nano bug stuck on her nose]

Drakken:
[to Shego] Take her whole nose if you have to!

Shego:
Works for me!

Shego:
[to Drakken] Can you not be weird? Please?

Drakken:
Shego has failed! But Shego never fails! Naw!!

Ron:
The tick...is in the straw. The tick is in the straw. The tick is in the straw! What do I do?! What do I do?!

Barkin:
Sweet mother of pearl!

Barkin:
...That's a lot of plush, lady.

Barkin:
Lady, you are...

DNAmy:
Special?

Barkin:
You are SICK, AND WRONG!!

DNAmy:
We could have been so cute together, Stevie. But now you'll know what it's like to be genetically fused with a hairless rodent!

Ron:
Rufus, you're alright! ...And you're wearing Barkin's clothes...

Kim:
...Then what's Mr. Barkin wearing?

Barkin:
STOPPABLE, I NEED PANTS!

Kim:
Just once, I wish the bad guy's lair didn't have to blow up...

Wade:
I have bad news.

Kim:
No kidding. I can not afford this jacket.

Ron:
Is that a clip-on tie, Ned?

Ned:
[clipping and unclipping tie] For quick removal in the event of a grease fire.

Ron:
Oh, no... no, no, not the puppy dog pout!

Drakken:
A-ha! Eat magma, Milwaukee!

[He slams his fist down on the "fire" button, but only molten cheese pours out.]

Drakken:
Why isn't Milwaukee eating magma? (as molten cheese rises around his ankles) Please do not tell me that this place is actually made of cheese! I thought it was a cheese-covered building!

Sinking Tour Guide:
(floating by) Oh, golly, no. You'd be surprised... (gets swamped) BLUB BLUG GLUG...

Ron:
Rufus, this is a precision instrument, incredibly complex. Better mess with everything.

Ron:
[over loudspeaker at Bueno Nacho] Fifty-eight, your order's great! Fifty-nine, looking fine! Sixty, um... your food's ready.

Kim:
Ron. We might have a lead on Drakken. (weighing them in her hand) Drakken... nachos? I'm gonna have to go with Drakken.

Ron:
Well, that kind of 'tude is narrowing the race for "employee of the month."

Kim:
...Mom, do you have me on speaker?

Kim's Mum:
Sorry, honey - I've got both hands in a fifty-two-year-old male's temporal lobe.

Drakken:
[to Kim] You see?! Any second now, I will strike swiftly, and without mercy...!

Shego:
...Er...actually, make it more like...half hour?

Drakken:
Fine, whatever.

Drakken:
Excuse me... I have to go make a scene.

Kim:
Ron, get to the laser drill. I'll take care of Shego.

Ron:
Great plan...! What exactly is the plan, again?

Ron:
[Rufus picks up dog biscuit] Don't eat it, Rufus! It could be -

[Rufus stuffs the biscut in Ron's mouth]

Ron:
- Hmm. Mmm. Bacony.

Kim:
...What're you eating?

Ron:
Taco meets Nacho. I call it: 'The Naco.'

Kim:
...I call it gross beyond reason.

Ron:
I belong... I belong to Bueno Nacho! Yo amo esto lugar! ("I love this place!")

Rufus:
Si! ("Yes!")

Ned:
Your bilingual wiles will hold no sway with me, Miss Possible. I am management.

Ned:
Well, well, well! Looks like you've got a choice to make, Stoppable! What's more important - Your sacred duty as assistant manager, or your pathetic role as goofy sidekick?

[Ron and Ned circle each other before coming to a halt]

Ron:
Well that's no choice at all. I guess it's time to say... Buenos noches, Bueno Nacho. (Good night, Bueno Nacho)

Drakken:
[To a henchman] Can't you drill any faster??? I'd have built an entire army of evil robots in the time it's taken you to penetrate the Earth's crust!

Ron:
There it is - Killigan's Island... What?

Agent Will Du:
I've got no time for games.

Big Daddy:
That's too bad. I was going to suggest you and my friend play "Thud."

Will:
"Thud"?

[Big Daddy claps; large goon emerges from the shadows; Will Du is tossed through a window.]

Big Daddy:
[laughs] I love that game!

Bonnie:
In case you're wondering, Kim, that's what giving 150% looks like.

Kim:
Careful, Bonnie, I hear when you reach 160, you spontaneously combust!

Kim:
Ron, have you been listening to a word I've said.

Ron:
Bonnie has the nerve to challenge me after all I've done for the squad, after all I've done for her? I can't believe this!...Close quote. [Kim looks at him in askance] Now, were you listening to my burrito problem?

Ron:
[after watching Killigan disappear through a hole beneath his feet] Suddenly, the whole world is full of holes that people just whoosh away in.

Kim:
You're acting like my life is a piece of cake.

Ron:
Let's see, you're smart, athletic, pretty and popular. Sounds pretty cakey to me.

Kim:
Okay, flip mode. Watching wrestling, playing video games, and downing "snackage." It must be brutal being you.

Ron:
Try the demands of raising Rufus as a single parent? Not to mention the pressures of maintaining my image. [Kim gives him a sideways glance] Okay, so I don't exactly have an image yet; but I'm working on it. And frankly, it's exhausting!

Mrs. Possible:
As a board-certified neurosurgeon, I've got to say: It's just not possible to swap brains.

Ron as Kim:
Point taken, Dr. P, but how else do you explain my bare midriff?

Mr. Possible:
(chuckling) Chasing bad guys, switching brains... high school sure has changed since my day.

Drakken:
Declare me supreme ruler of Earth, or I will neutronolize a different major city, every hour on the hour! That should do it.

Shego:
What does "neutronolize" mean, anyway?

Drakken:
I have no idea. But the military had it, it was top-secret, that's good enough for me.

Kim as Ron:
Ron and I will distract them, while you disarm the neutronolizer...

Ron as Kim:
How come, when I finally get to be you, I still end up being the distraction?

Kim:
There's plenty of teams and clubs out there. You could join... the Mathletes!

Ron:
Yeah, right! I can't get in that kind of shape!

Kim:
How about the debate team?

Ron:
Look, I'm not going to argue with you, Kim!

Ron:
[mocking Kim] Oh, I'm Kim Possible, I can do anything! ...Except believe in my best friend!

Mr. Possible:
Drew dropped out of school and we never saw him again. He never forgave us, and I think, in some small way, we never forgave ourselves.

Kim:
For just a giggle fit?

Mr. Possible:
Oh no, we laughed looong and hard... with youthful abandon!

Kim:
Wade, Ron's missing. Can you find him?

Wade:
Do you think I have him microchipped, or something?

Kim:
Well, do you?

Wade:
[reluctantly] Yeah, hang on...

Barkin:
This is a democracy, people, now DO AS I SAY! LET'S HEAR SOME NOMINATIONS!

Ron:
It's just a game. With small children. Who cry when they see you coming!

Kim:
[To her mother] Not the puppy dog pout! That's mine!

Kim:
Ron, what are you doing here?

Ron:
I come for the games but I stay for the burnt pizza smell [sniffs the air] Mmm.

Senor Senior Jr.:
Looks like we picked up a few passengers. Kim Possible and her sidekick-type friend whose name escapes me.

Senor Senior Sr.:
[leaning out of helicopter] What is your name again, young man?

Ron:
[yelling] It's Ron! Ron Stoppable!

Senor Senior Sr.:
That's right...

Ron:
Quick, shimmy up the cable.

Kim:
You're closer, you shimmy.

Ron:
Have you ever seen me shimmy? It's not pretty.

Ron:
Come on, we don't have much time.

Kim:
Ron, they're in a helicopter? We'll never catch them.

Ron:
Who's talking about them? Bueno Nacho closes in three minutes! I'm starving!

Ron:
You get one chimerito and they give you like a dozen little packets of Diablo sauce. You can't possibly use all this sauce. Somewhere, there's a landfill loaded with unopened hot sauce. And someday, I'm gonna find it.

Ron:
I think your natural competitive Kim-ness has taken you to a very dark place.

Wade':
Well. They shouldn't be hard to find.

Ron:
Yeah, the map helps.

Senor Senior Sr.':
It is your evil disco; not mine.

Senor Senior Sr.:
So, you taught the animals to cha cha cha. Now, tell me your villainous scheme.

Senor Senior Jr.:
My plan is this. As the funny animals dance to the pounding beat, the crowd will be inspired to do the same!

Senor Senior Sr.:
And then?

Senor Senior Jr.:
We will party all night long!

Senor Senior Sr.:
Everyone will dance? That is your evil plan?

Senor Senior Jr.:
Aaaaand...I will overcharge for beverages! Hahahaha!

Senor Senior Sr.:
Ah, the 'clever threat'! Good, Jr.! Now, you must follow through with a display of violent anger.

Senor Senior Jr.:
But I'm mildly put off at best!

(In the Possible living room, Kim's dad is shown to have broken his leg)

Mr. Dr. Possible:
Kimmie, the team needs a coach, just until I'm back on my feet.

Kim:
You cannot be serious; I don't know the first thing about soccer.

Mrs. Dr. Possible:
What's to know? You're wonderful with children. (Jim and Tim come in rolling, fighting and knocking over furniture)

Kim:
(angrily) Those are not children! I'm not even sure if they are human! (the Kimmunicator beeps) Wade, what's the sitch?

Wade:
There's been some trouble at JP Barrymore's Pizza Partytorium!

Kim:
Tell me about it! My dad is totally out of action.

Wade:
No, Kim, after you guys left, they were robbed.

Waiter:
Somebody stole JP Barrymore!

Ron:
At least you still have the back-up band.

Waiter:
The bear was totally carrying those hacks! JP is the state of the art animatronic musicians!

Ron:
Pizzapottomus! No!

Ron:
KP, this can't go on.

Kim:
What?

Ron:
Studying, in study hall, it sets a bad precedent.

Kim:
There's no "I" in team.

Tim:
And there's no "fun" in soccer.

Jim:
Not with her hogging the ball.

Kim:
Wade, can you hack into the system contolling the animals?

Wade:
Kim, it's the most sophisticated computer system I've ever seen!

Kim:
It's a banjo-playing bear!

Ron:
THEY TOOK HIS BANJO!

Ron:
[scoffing] Cleopatra. Who's going to remember her ten years from now?

Dr. Possible:
Morning, honey. How'd Cambodia go?

Kim:
Mixed. The good part, I rescued a priceless icon from a ferociously snaky, spiky pit. Less good, a ninja stole it.

Dr. Possible:
Isn't that just like those darn ninjas?

Lord Monty Fiske:
Crazy, you say? Like it was crazy to spend the family fortune on radical genetic mutation and dangerous experimental surgery? Like it was crazy to become a man-monkey WHO VIOLATES EVERY LAW OF NATURE AND SCIENCE?! [calms down] It's a touch unconventional...

Lord Monty Fiske:
Bow to my power! I am... MONKEY FIST!

Monkey Fist:
And so, monkey hater, we meet again...! [bell chimes] Serenity time, time to center...

Ron:
I must become that which I fear most... HEY, MONKEYS! HIT ME!

Drakken/Killigan:
Kim Possible?!

Killigan:
You know her?

Drakken:
Know her, hate her. Shego, ATTACK!

Killigan:
I WANT MY MONEY!

Drakken:
Look, I said I would pay you when the stolen Centurion Project is in my possession. It is not in my possession, therefore, I'm not paying.

Killigan:
You... you... you're a criminal!

Drakken:
My dear fellow, I repeatedly try to take over the world. OF COURSE I'M CRIMINAL!

Kim:
Wade, cool costume...! Wait a second, you're going to leave your room?

Wade:
No way, I do it all online.

Alien:
Greetings, Anchor Man! I come from a distant star cluster, seeking chocolate!

Wade:
Hey, Eugene.

Alien:
Aw, how did you know it was me?

Wade:
Cross-ref'd your ISP address. I put the candy credits in your mailbox.

Alien:
Thanks, Wade! Go in peace.

Killigan:
AH, STICK A SOCK IN IT!

Ron Stoppable:
It's an exposé I call...

Editor:
"Math: You'll Never Actually Use It In The Real World"

Ron Stoppable:
I'm already working on a follow-up piece about semicolons!

Adrena Lynn:
Fuh-reaky! (repeated line)

Kim Possible:
Some kid's gonna get hurt trying to imitate that girls stunts!

Jim:
Hey! Let's see if we can sneak into the bear cage at the zoo, like Adrena Lynn!

Tim:
Cool!

Jim:
Here, tie this steak on!

Ron Stoppable:
Sorry, KP, but discovering your favorite action hero is a big fake is not something you just 'get over'.

Kim Possible:
And this from a wrestling fan?

Ron Stoppable:
I don't see the connection.

TV Announcer:
And reports that Adrena Lynn is a fake, coupled with a rash of copycat stunts across the country...

Jim:
That's us! (high fives Tim, prompting pain, given they bungee jumped off a roof with yarn shortly beforehand)

TV Announcer:
...has prompted this network to cancel Adrena Lynn in favor of more... responsible programming. (reaction shot) So! Stay tuned for an extra hour of... "Stuff on Fire!"

Dr. Possible:
Jim, Tim, there'll be no rooting for your sister's foe.

Kim Possible:
Listen, I'm sorry you almost plunged to your death on worldwide television...

Brick Flagg:
Kim, stop. I get it now.

Kim Possible:
(dubious) You do?

Brick Flagg:
Sure. You had that skinny guy expose Adrena Lynn so she'd freak out and set up this whole 'Save Brick' thing, just to prove you dug me! Kim, you're nice and all, but you try too hard. If you just asked me out, that's cool, but this is too much. I'm sorry, but it's over.

Brick [to Kim]:
Hey.

Kim:
Um, hey, Brick.

Brick:
Uh, nice outfit.

Kim:
Thanks. It's, er, my size.

Brick:
You know, I think what you do is really amazing.

Kim:
Oh saving the world is no big.

Brick:
I mean how you always spelling stuff in your cheers. It's so C-O-O-L... (pause) That's cool, right?

Kim:
(to Ron) Why are you looking at me like that?

Ron:
Cause I've found my story. I'm gonna interview you! The Kim Possible!

Kim:
Since when does my name have a "The" in front of it?

Ron:
And Kim, I won't accept anything less than the hard-hitting truth.

Kim [about Adrena Lynn's show]:
This show is a mind-numbing waste of satellite frequencies.

Ron:
You're right. Besides, I'm taping it at home.

Adrena Lynn:
Ratings are up, merchandise sales are up!

Cameraman:
M-hm. Copycat incidences are up, too.

Adrena Lynn:
It means they're watching. Not my fault if the little dweebs aren't careful.

Cameraman:
Maybe they don't getting you fake the stunts?

Adrena Lynn:
Whatever. The point is if we're to stay on top, the next stunt must be bigger, more extreme!

Cameraman:
Like what?

Adrena Lynn:
I'm thinking bungee. Freaky!

Bonnie:
Kim, I think it is so great what you did.

Kim:
Which was?

Bonnie:
I mean to risk utter embarrassment and total rejection like that. (shows Kim the paper)

Kim:
(reads from the newspaper) "Cheerleader Kim Possible thinks quarterback Brick Flagg is H-O-T, hot." By... (angrily) Ron Stoppable?!

Bonnie:
We'll totally be here for you when he dumps you.

(Brick appears)

Brick:
So, Kim, you think I'm hot.

Kim:
Actually, what I think I said was...

Brick:
Cool. What are you doing Friday night?

Kim:
Nothing. I mean nothing with you.

Brick:
Pick you up at eight?

Kim:
I, uh...

Brick:
(to some random boy next to him) Hey, she thinks I'm hot.

Kim:
(to Ron) So, I think Brick Flagg is hot?!

Girl:
(to some boy) It's true. She just said it herself!

Ron:
Did you see it? My name in lights? Well, in ink actually, but still.

Kim:
Ron, you ferociously misquoted me!

Ron:
Woah. I may have done a tiny bit of rephrasing but, come on; you'd think a crime-fighting cheerleader would give a more interesting interview. The paper liked my story so much, they're giving me a column!

Ron:
(to the cafeteria lady) I'll have an omelet, whites only. (gets a heap of greasy food) (to Kim) She must not know who I am.

Kim:
I'm not sure I know who you are.

Brick (to Wade):
Hey, you're Kim's computer dude.

Wade:
And you're that "Kim thinks you're hot" dude.

Brick:
(proudly) Yeah, yeah, that's me.

Kim:
Excuse me, uh, Brick, I have to go.

Brick:
See you Friday.

Wade:
He seems nice.

Kim:
Okay, spit it out, computer dude.

Ron:
What a story! Adrena Lynn is a real hero.

Kim:
Ron, she stole that blimp.

Ron:
This is art, KP. Sacrifices must be made.

Ron:
(notices the Adrena Lynn dummy that Kim saved) Oh, no, it can't be! It was just a dummy. She didn't even fall.

Kim:
Ron, get over it, already.

Ron:
Sorry, KP, but discovering that your action hero is a big fake is not something you just get over.

Kim:
And this from a wrestling fan?

Ron:
I don't get the connection.

Wade:
Looks like Pop-Pop Porter got so much publicity; he's not pressing charges for the blimp theft.

Ron:
She's getting away with it?

Wade:
Well, I was able to highlight the key areas on that photo file.

Ron:
She calls herself extreme. The big fake!

Kim:
Imagine that. Lying to the public just to build up your own reputation.

Ron:
Disgusting! (pauses) Well, Adrena Lynn might get a pass from Pop-Pop, but Ron Stoppable smells a story.

(While Kim is watching the TV in ther locker)

Anchorwoman:
And, in our top story, Ron Stoppable of the Middleton High newspaper reports that extreme teen Adrena Lynn is an extreme fake.

Ron:
(shows a newspaper) I'm in the paper, too. I'm national, baby!

Kim:
(reads from the newspaper) "Ace reporter Ron Stoppable, heralded for breaking the story of TV fake. Adrena Lynn's ratings plummet faster than her fake fall." Can this get any more annoying?

[After Jim and Tim end up in the hospital]

Kim:
You were doing what?!

Jim:
Bungee jumping out of a blimp, like Adrena Lynn.

Tim:
Only we didn't have a blimp, so we used the roof.

Jim:
And we didn't have a bungee cord, so we used yarn.

Mr. Dr. Possible:
That Adrena Lynn is a menace!

Mrs. Dr. Possible:
(angrily) She didn't really bungee jump out of a blimp. Don't you boys watch the news?

Jim:
No. The only show we watch is Adrena Lynn.

Kim:
Brick, wait! We need to talk.

Brick:
Did you just say "we need to talk"? (Kim nods) That's exactly what Amelia said last year when she dumped me. I mean, when we, you know, broke up.

Kim:
Well, you can't really call it breaking up if we haven't even...

Brick:
I was a wreck. I totally blew it in the big game against East Side. So, what did you wanna talk to me about?

Kim:
Just that... I can't wait for Friday either.

Brick:
Cool. (walks off)

Kim:
I am so toast.

(At the Possible residence, the TV is only showing static)

Mr. Dr. Possible:
Darn TV!

Tim:
You have to make it work. What good having a broken leg if you can't watch TV all day?

Mrs. Dr. Possible:
Maybe this is a good thing. We can have quality family time.

(Pause)

Jim:
(desperate) Dad, please!

Tim:
You're rocket scientist. Can't you do something?

Mr. Dr. Possible:
Well, I could put it in geosynchronous orbit, but I'm not sure how that would help.

Adrena Lynn:
(about Kim) She is so toast! Roll the camera!

Cameraman:
Hello, Lynn, we've been cancelled!

Adrena Lynn:
We're not cancelled until I say we're cancelled! (Cameraman starts to film as she talks) A lonely highway, a desperate mission. Tonight I will pull my greatest stunt yet! Revenge against Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable! (the camera man cuts the camera) How's that for a teaser?

Cameraman:
Good. It'd be better if we had an audience.

Adrena Lynn:
Oh, we will.

[When Kim comes home]

Mrs. Dr. Possible:
Oh, Kimmie, your boyfriend called while you were out.

Kim:
He's not my boyfriend!

Mrs. Dr. Possible:
That's not what Ron said on the Ron Report. (Kim sighs) Is something wrong, honey?

Mr. Dr. Possible:
(pause) You have our undivided attention. (pause) The TV's broken.

Kim:
Ron made up a story about me liking the quarterback, and now I'm stuck dating him or we'll lose the big game. Meanwhile, there's a worldwide satellite crisis.

Mrs. Dr. Possible:
Kimmie, you have to be honest with Brick. If the football team loses, it's not your fault. (pause) I can't help you with the satellite thing.

Tim:
(pointing to the TV) Uh, I don't think you have to worry about dating Brick tonight.

Brick:
(on TV) Hey, I thought you said Kim wanted to meet me here.

Adrena Lynn:
Oh, she'll be here.

Jim & Tim:
Adrena Lynn!

Mr. Dr. Possible:
Huh, I thought she was cancelled. (switches through all the channels, but all of them show Adrena Lynn)

Kim:
Well, I think we know who's jamming the satellite transmissions. (takes up the Kimmunicator) Wade?

(Adrena Lynn's broadcast appears on the Kimmunicator)

Adrena Lynn:
Tonight, Ron Stoppable, Kim Possible versus me in extreme combat! And, to raise the takes, I have Kim's boyfriend.

Kim:
(angrily) He is not my boyfriend! (everyone looks at her, and she sighs) Don't worry, I'm going. (leaves)

(Kim and Ron are driving through the woods on Ron's scooter)

Ron:
Kim, the only thing down this road is the old Middleton Fairgrounds.

Kim:
That, and Adrena Lynn.

Ron:
That place is haunted. Plus, I lost ten bucks trying to win a stuffed hippo.

Kim:
Too bad, Ron. If it weren't for you and your stories, we wouldn't be here!

Adrena Lynn:
High school quarterback, Brick Flagg, takes the ride of his life! And only one person can save him! His beloved girlfriend, Kim Possible!

Ron:
And me.

Kim:
Drop the dramatics, Adrena Lynn. This isn't a game!

Adrena Lynn:
Exactly! It's real, it's extreme, and it's freaky!

Ron (while on the swings ride):
Kim! No, please, this ride always makes me throw up! Argh! (he spins around) ...Kim! ...Kim! ...Kim!

Ron:
Adrena Lynn, you can not do this!

Adrena Lynn:
And why not?

Ron:
I'm the one responsible for you've been cancelled. I called you a fake.

Brick:
What?

Ron:
I guess takes one to know one. I made up that stuff about Kim liking Brick just to sell my story.

Brick:
Oh, harsh!

Ron:
It worked, kind of, but the thing is that if the fake part about you is what people like, what good is that?

Adrena Lynn:
You're right.

Ron:
From now on I'm keeping it real.

Adrena Lynn:
Me, too. Starting with my very real defeat of Kim Possible! (she laughs manically)

Ron:
Okay, that didn't work.

(After Kim has saved Brick)

Kim:
Let's see. (imitating Adrena Lynn's voice) What will I do next? (takes Adrena Lynn, and flies high up with her using a jetpack)

Adrena Lynn:
I do extreme stunts for a living. You think I'm afraid of heights?

Kim:
You fake extreme stunts. Let the world see how brave you are when there's real danger. (flies wildly) Not so extreme after all now, are you? Are you?!

Adrena Lynn:
(terrified) No.

Jim & Tim:
(watching it on television) Now she tells us!

Ron:
Headline: Quarterback sacks Kim Possible! She has a dislocated heart and will be out for the remains of the season! (Rufus shuts his mouth)

Kim:
Thank you.

Drakken:
Who needs Shego and her DNA?! I have options! I have henchmen!

[Cut to henchmen doing their usual incompetant stuff]

[Drakken walks over to his desk and slouches into the chair]

Drakken:
[to henchmen] ...To clone any one of you would be a crime against humanity that even I am incapable of.

Kim:
[under mind control, to Ron] Doctor Drakken will see you now.

Dr. Possible:
Remember: candy is dandy, but fruit helps you poop.

Drakken:
I love this. Hand me a fork.

Shego:
[under mind control] Yes, Dr. Drakken!

Drakken:
Get me a Dodo bird.

Shego:
Yes, Dr. Drakken!

Drakken:
Psyche! Dodo birds are extinct! Oh, I'm being silly.

[Kim, Ron, and Jim & Tim are about to go on a plane trip]

Kim:
Okay. Does anybody need to take care of any business?

Jim & Tim:
No.

Ron:
"Business"? Like what? Banking?

Kim:
Ron, business. As there won't be any "rest-ups".

Ron:
Kim, the boys are 10. They don't need to take a nap. I don't think rest is gonna be an issue.

[Rufus climbs up to Ron's ear and whispers to him]

Ron:
Oh... right. [pauses] Uh... excuse me. [runs toward the house]

Rufus:
[When he and Ron are cornered by the mind controlled Kim and Shego] Uh oh, uh unn, oh no, oh no, pain, please no, un uh.

Ron:
[to Kim] You blue foxes think you know everything!

Monkey Fist:
Take a picture, it'll last longer.

Dr. Possible:
There's nothing "cool" about stealing a spacecraft.

Monkey Fist:
Oh, really?

Dr. Possible:
That's right! In fact, I'd say that it's quite "whack."

Monkey Fist:
Doctor, I am guided by the ancient prophesy of the Mystical Monkey Monk... I am not "whack."

Monkey Fist:
And from the space station, we shall rule the world! Oh, the weapons on board must be incredible...!

Dr. Possible:
There are no weapons on the space station! It's dedicated to peaceful research.

Monkey Fist:
Now, that... is "whack."

Ron:
Get your stinking paws off me, you filthy monkey!

Frugal Lucre:
Kim Possible, we meet at last! (Loses the fake accent) Oh, this is so cool!

Ron:
Drop it, mama's boy!

Frugal Lucre:
Am not! And don't come any closer. This thing's loaded!

Kim:
With what?

Frugal Lucre:
Beef bullion, if you must know. Ever try to get the smell out? Huh? You can't! Ha-ha-ha-ha!

Kim:
Ew...

Ron:
He's right, Kim. Do what he says!

Kim:
Alright Lucre, cough up the sausages!

Ron:
Ew! Rephrase please!

Frugal Lucre:
You might've stopped me this time, Kim Possible, but Frugal Lucre will return! Muahahahaha...! If my mom bails me out.

Mr. Possible:
I do not believe it! That Dr. Drakken fellow stole the factory! It seems two employs were rescued by a famous teen girl-- Hey, Kim Possible! Nice, work, honey.

Ron:
Oh, Bonnie, you remind me of the cruel kids at camp - sticks and stones.

Tara:
[Gasp] They called you names?

Ron:
Yes, while they were pelting me with sticks and stones!

Ron:
So, does that mean that I can call the shots on the next mission?

Kim:
We'll see.

Ron:
Oh, I know what that means!

Kim:
It means: "we'll see."

Ron:
No, it's code for: "not a chance."

Kim:
Actually, it's code for: "ferociously unlikely."

Mr. Barkin:
Going somewhere, Miss Possible?

Kim:
Mr. Barkin, I-I-I'm, er...

Mr. Barkin:
A Tardy. Third time this month, yes?

Kim:
Maybe. I'm not sure.

Mr. Barkin:
I am. Looks like I'll be seeing you after school.

Kim:
At cheerleading practice?

Mr. Barkin:
[loudly] AT DETENTION, POSSIBLE!

Kim:
[shocked] Detention?! [intro plays]

Ron:
Guess that wasn't much of a plan.

Kim:
Not as great as your Bueno Nacho bathroom-break-chart.

Ron:
I gooned on assitant manager power. You were right.

Kim:
I did resent your superior burrito technique. You're entitled to excel. Forgive me?

Ron:
Duh! Forgive me?

Kim:
Totally.

Drakken:
Aw, that's so sweet. Friends again. Just in time to be fried in magma.

Ron:
Remind me again why I rushed over.

Ron:
What's wrong, KP? You won.

Kim:
I'm very happy. Really.

Ron:
You don't sound happy.

Kim:
Okay. I know this is beyond shallow but, I saved the world and I'm no closer of owning that Club Banana jacket!

Ron:
Maybe, [hands Kim a Club Banana box] maybe not.

Kim:
Ron!

Ron:
Oh, it's no big deal. My Naco bonus was way bueno.

Kim:
You are too sweet! I love it! [hugs Ron] Thanks. [Ned arrives wearing the same jacket] Ned?

Ron:
Dude, what are you wearing?

Ned:
Somebody left this picture over the cheese machine, and I just had to have it. Viva me!

Ron:
Exchange it?

Kim:
Oh yeah!

Ron:
Good news, we're all back in our bods. Bad news, I think we neutranilized the Neutranilizer.

Kim:
Or not. [the Neutranilizer is in one piece]

Private Dobbs:
Did I neglect to mention that Neutranilizer is dang near indestructible?

Ron:
I know someone like that.

Kim:
Back at ya, brain-switch boy!

Bonnie:
[mocking Ron's new Mad Dog mascot] This is idiotic! The entire student body will laugh at you.

Ron:
But-

Bonnie:
Not "with", "AT"!

Ron:
Look...

Bonnie:
Loudly and cruelly, they...will...laugh!

Ron:
You don't deserve to get kissed by a naked mole rat.

Rufus:
Yeah!

Mr. Possible:
Frankly, your mother has the good advice vis-a-vis boy trouble.

Kim:
This isn't about boys, Dad. It's about Ron.

Mr. Possible:
Oh. Gotcha.

Kim:
Everyone got down on Ron, and I don't know, maybe I should have stuck up for him.

Mr. Possible:
But you didn't...

Kim:
He was foaming at the mouth. I'm only human!

Mr. Possible:
Well, you know, Kimmy Cub, back when I was in college, I had a group of friends, my posse, if you will. It was the night of the big science department mixer. In those days, I wasn't exactly a ladies man.

Kim:
The fact, that I was so rotten to you, that's not gonna drive you into becoming some sort of mask wearing villain, is it?

Ron:
If I said yes, would you let me do my Mad Dog-routine?

Kim:
That's not a good reason for me to say yes.

Ron:
I know.

Kim:
Because you're my best friend, that's a good reason.

Ron:
Boo-yah! Mad Dog lives! [howls like a dog]

Kim:
Prepare to be body slammered, Jackal!

Ron:
That's body slammed, Kim.

Drakken:
Kim Possible always defeats me! And it vexes me so.

Shego:
You? I'm the one fighting her.

Drakken:
That's true. It is you she always defeats.

Shego:
What's your point?

Drakken:
I simply need to tip the odds in your favor.

Shego:
How?

Drakken:
Suppose you outnumbered her. Suppose there was an army of you against one of her.

Shego:
Oh no, again with the cloning!?

Drakken:
One little thread of hair should do it...

Shego:
[pulls out her contract] Whoa, whoa, whoa, back up, chief! You cannot have my DNA! I have a "no cloning"-clause in my contract. Remember?

Drakken:
That was then. This is now!

Shego:
Yeah, yeah. And this is me saying I QUIT!

Drakken:
Shego, wait, don't go! Oof, I think I got a papercut.

[Shego enters]

Guard:
Hey, Frankie, you got my eye smoker?

Shego:
Maybe ought to lay off the caffeine. [uses her energy to put the guard asleep] It keeps you awake.

Drakken:
Well done, Shego!

Shego:
Dr. Drakken, stop!

Drakken:
I give the orders. You do not tell me to stop. [alarm goes off]

Shego:
[irritated] I do, when I haven't shut down the alarm system yet!

[Kim and Shego have been freed from Drakken's control]

Shego:
Nice outfit.

Kim:
Nice apron.

Shego:
[rips off the apron and angrily walks to Drakken] Okay, Doc. For future reference, the chip made obey every command. But I was aware of exactly what was happening!

Drakken:
The whole time?

Shego:
Dodgeball and dodos!?

Drakken:
Ooh...

Shego:
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT LISTENING TO YOU IS LIKE!? IT IS SO BORING!

[Shego chases Drakken out of the lair]

Kim:
Snapping turtles?

Ron:
Aisle ten. Next to the goldfish.

Frugal Lucre:
And they're hungry.

Kim:
Self-activating lasers! [She pulls Ron away, and they dive beneath the table. Kim looks accusingly at Ron] (Mocks Ron) throw in some traps.