Lexx, Season 1

Kai:
I am Kai, last of the Brunnen-G. Millennia ago, the Brunnen-G led humanity to victory in the war against the Insect civilization. The Time Prophet predicted that I would be the one to destroy the Divine Order and the League of 20,000 Planets. Some day, that will happen… but not today, as today is my day of death. The day our story begins.

Stan:
May His Merciful Shadow fall upon... me, preferably.

Guard:
Life's a mixup. Heh.

Zev:
Everybody always leaves me.

Kai:
I killed mothers with their babies. I've killed great philosophers, proud young warriors, and revolutionaries. I've killed the evil, the good, the intelligent, the weak, and the beautiful. I have done this in the service of His Divine Shadow and his predecessors, and I have never once shown any mercy.

His Divine Shadow:
Kill them!

Kai:
That I will not do.

His Divine Shadow:
Then kill yourself.

Kai:
I am already dead.

Stan:
What are you doing?

Zev:
I don't exactly know. Coming?

Xev:
What kind of robot are you?

790:
One that wants to live in your underwear.

Kai:
I'm dead. I have no future.

Kai:
In the Light Universe, I have been darkness. Perhaps in the Dark Zone I can be light.

Lexx:
My captain is Stanley Tweedle. I blow up planets for him.

790:
How biological of you.

Stan:
This is incredible. The last available woman in the entire universe, and she's passing me over for a corpse!

Giggerota:
Girlfriend... I will eat you first.

Kai:
Dinner is cancelled.

Poetman:
Bla bla bla bla bla. Dullness. Ethereal, ephemeral dullness. Allegorical dullness. The blunted boredom rises from the gorge of her insufferable lips and floats like the tedious feather of a long dead bird until it lands it nakedly tired memory next to your fleshy feet.

Kai:
I'm feeling altogether better.

Kai:
Would you care to join me in watching the supernova? It is a once in a lifetime experience.

Zev:
We are going to bring you life, I promise.

Kai:
And if not, the rest of my protoblood will be spend it with you.

Zev:
Kai...

Kai:
It's what I want.

Bog:
People are like flowers. They sprout, they bloom. And then they die. But everything dies in the end, so - come on over.

Stan:
is he dead?

Zev:
He has been dead for two thousand years.

Stan:
No, not alive dead, I mean dead dead.

790:
I believe it's an orbiting dump site used for generalised waste disposal. Your basic garbage planet.

Zev:
Last of the Brunnen-G: if you were alive... [sighs] Last of the Brunnen-G: if you were alive, I'd want you to be the first man... I... I used to want to die. But now, I want to live. I think that's because after meeting you, I realised that people aren't always that bad.

Bogman:
You're clean! I'm so happy!

Bog:
Once upon a time, long long ago, we had plenty of pattern. Lots of people. We were rich. Not anymore. Less p-people. Less p-p-pattern.

Stan:
He was alive dead for two thousand years, but this time he was dead dead! Really!

Bog:
Two thousand? That's a lot of birthday p-p-parties.

Wist:
Your worm is your friend.

Stan:
You're clean Zev, fresh clean. We need clean!

Bog:
Pattern making is an art. Every piece of meat is different, it has a different personality, a different scent or soul. The art is the nose that knows the flow that goes into the bouquet. Balance and counterbalance.

790:
Zev, you're alive! Ecstasy times infinity squared!

790:
[to Zev] ... biomass of beauty...

Zev:
Don't you want to live?

Kai:
I'm an animated corpse, a mockery of life. I do not have wants.

Zev:
Doesn't the prophecy motivate you?

Kai:
Though I am an integral part of it, the prophecy will be, or not be, as it is in the cycle of time. In any event, I do not experience motivation.

Zev:
Kai, I want you to live, to really live!

Kai:
I suggest you consider modifying your want.

Kai:
 :[enters, holding a newborn cluster lizard] Do you want to hold it?

Stan:
Yeah, on the end of my fork!

Kai:
He's a baby - an innocent. The egg must have been laid before we escaped from the Light Universe.

Stan:
Yeah, well, that's very nice, but I think we should act sensible here and dispose of it.

Kai:
Don't you like it, Zev?

Zev:
No!

Kai:
I'm surprised. You are part cluster lizard yourself. I was hoping you would help me think of a name.

Zev:
If it comes near me, I'll name it.

Kai:
What? [steps closer and points it at her]

Zev:
Squish! Which is exactly what I'll do to it!

[Squish rubs its head against Kai's face]

Stan:
It thinks you're its mother!

His Divine Shadow:
The Giga Shadow is the end, and it is the beginning. First will come the Cleansing, which will feed the Rebirth. The Giga Shadow is the new life beyond order. A time of pain and rejoicing. Our destiny.

Zev:
I'm making eye water again - it happens when I feel this way.

Stan:
Lexx, when you eat, can you separate out the yummy stuff from the nasty indigestible bits?

Lexx:
Yes, Stanley the Perfect, the mighty and terrible champion of the oppressed.

Stan:
And - unjustly maligned majestical being!

Lexx:
And unjustly maligned majestical being.

Stan:
Cool...!

Zev:
So far so weird.

Zev:
Kai, it's over. The prophecy is fulfilled. The last of the Brunnen-G has destroyed the Divine Order. How does it feel?

Kai:
It feels.. it feels... I have no feeling for it.

Zev:
Is this the mortuary?

Kai:
My home, for 2000 years. These drawers contained myself and thousands of other assassins like me, all kept in a state of living death by protoblood. [all drawers look empty] Looks like all my undead comrades have taken a walk.

Yottskry:
What fresh hell is this?

His Divine Shadow:
You cannot stop me now.

Yottskry:
Yes you can. He's vulnerable.

Kai:
Where are you?

Yottskry:
I'm inside the Giga Shadow. You're inside the Giga Shadow. Find me. Please, find the brain!

His Divine Shadow:
You're too late Kai, much too late.

Kai:
We shall see. [at Squish] What's your favourite food?

Squish:
[hisses]

Yottskry:
Please find the brain!

His Divine Shadow:
I am the GigaShadow, and you, Kai, are nothing but a microbe inside me, infecting my system.

790:
Unfortunately there is no habitable planet, asteroid, moon or space station within the range of this vessel. There is absolutely nowhere for us to go. Zev, darling?

Zev:
Yes?

790:
Our oxygen will be gone and you'll be dead in 11 hours and 7 minutes, but my power pack will keep me going for 309 years, so I will use that time to recite an epic poem about you. Shall I begin?

His Divine Shadow:
I bid you extinction.