Mad Men, Season 3

Pete:
I just wanted to let you both know how honored I am with this promotion.

Roger:
Help yourself... not the Stoli.

Sally:
I'm sorry I broke your suitcase.

Don:
Find out how much it is to repair and it will come out of your allowance.

Sally:
I don't have an allowance.

Don:
Then don't break things.

Sally:
I just thought - I just didn't want you to go.

Don:
Come here. [hugs her] I'll always come home. You'll always be my girl.

Don:
[looking at a whiskey ad] Can you believe this? What is the world coming to?

Sal:
That is a big bottle.

Don:
That's not a bottle, that's a date.

Sal:
My oh my, what a big bottle you have.

Don:
Sorry honey, but I'm taken. I just pawned my typewriter so we can be together all weekend.

Pete:
Why does it have to be like this? Why can't I get anything good all at once?

Don:
I keep going to a lot of places and ending up somewhere I've already been.

Peggy:
Let’s assume we can get a girl who can match Ann-Margret’s ability to be 25 and act 14.

Sal:
Is that what she’s doing?

Bert:
I don’t want to have to walk down here every time we lose an account. This is an advertising agency. I’ll wear out the carpet.

Don:
And let’s also say that change is neither good or bad, it simply is. It can be greeted with terror or joy. A tantrum that says ‘I want it the way it was,’ or a dance that says ‘Look, something new.’

Don:
You’re not an artist, Peggy, you solve problems. Leave some tools in your toolbox.

Gene Hofstadt:
You think money’s the answer to every problem.

Don:
No, just to this particular problem.

Roger:
It's a mistake to be conspicuously happy.

Don:
No one thinks you're happy. They think you're foolish.

Peggy:
The thing is, I have a job. I have my own office, with my name on the door. And I have a secretary—that’s you. And I am not scared of any of this.

Peggy:
I'm Peggy Olson and I wanna smoke some marijuana.

Paul:
[after smoking marijuana] If you were feeling it, you'd be hungry.

Peggy:
I am hungry. It's just not worth moving.

Pete:
Well, as they used to say at the freshman mixer, when you get a yes, you go home.

Horace Cook, Jr.:
Only, Humps, you never got one.

Harry:
It doesn't make any sense. It looks right, sounds right, smells right. But something's not right. What is it?

Roger:
She's not Ann-Margret.

Betty:
Where's Don?

Nurse:
He's in the waiting room.

Betty:
Bullshit! He's never where you expect him to be.

Don:
Our worst fears lie in anticipation.

Peggy:
I look around and I think: I want what he had. You have everything and you have so much of it.

Don:
I suppose that's probably true.

Gene:
Don't worry. You're a house cat. You are very important and you have little to do.

John Hooker:
Mr. Kinsey, you might want to shave your beard.

Paul Kinsey:
What? Who the hell are you people?

John Hooker:
That was a joke.

Roger:
You think there's something feminine about it? My father was the tallest, handsomest, vainest man in New York, and he got his nails done. He had his fourth coronary behind the wheel and hit a tree. The windshield severed his arm, and he was dead, so they never put it back on. In the casket he had one hand. The nails were perfect.

Don:
This is your brother. We don't know who he is yet, or what he's gonna be. And that is a wonderful thing.

Joan:
That's life. One minute, you're on top of the world. The next, some secretary is running over your foot with a lawn motor.

Paul Kinsey:
He might lose his foot.

Roger:
Right when he got it in the door.

Peggy:
[to Pete] Stop barging in here and infecting me with your anxiety.

Don:
[to Peggy] Every time I turn around, you've got a hand in my pocket... there's not one thing that you've done here that I couldn't live without.

Peggy:
What do you want from me?

Duck:
I want to take you in that bedroom, lock the door, take your clothes off with my teeth, throw you on the bed and give you a go-around like you've never had.

Roger:
I watched the sunrise today. Couldn't sleep.

Don:
How was it?

Roger:
Average.

Betty:
[to her daughter] You don't kiss boys. Boys kiss you.

Ken:
New York in August? It's like a great big melting wax museum. Nothing but those fat girls with the hairy armpits putting their feet in a fountain.

Don:
Connie, this is my wife Betty.

Connie Hilton:
By golly, you are an indecently lucky man.

Pete:
Let me speak to the manager.

Saleswoman:
Of the entire store?

Pete:
Of the republic of dresses. Whoever can help me with this because you're falling short.

Ken:
Still working Campbell? There's no reason to show off... Cooper's in Montana, Sterling's in Jane and Draper's on vacation.

Betty:
'I want what I want when I want it.' And you don't care what it does to the rest of us - like someone else I know.

Connie Hilton:
[to Don] What do you want from me, love? Your work is good. But when I say I want the moon, I expect the moon.

Don:
Give me more ideas to reject.

Don:
Now that I can finally understand you, I am less impressed with what you have to say.

Harry:
My mother-in-law says I look like Perry Mason.

Paul:
It's not a compliment. It means she thinks you're fat.

Lane:
So we finally have an answer to the question 'What makes Don Draper smile?' Five thousand dollars seems to be the number.

Don:
People may see things differently, but they don't really want to.

Don:
The product is good. It's high quality. Dogs love it, but the name is poisoned.

Client:
That name got us where we are. Do you think that was just luck?

Don:
I'm not saying a new name is easy to find. And we will give you a lot of options. But it's a label on a can. And it will be true because it will promise the quality of the product that's inside.

Anabelle:
You're married, aren't you?

Roger:
I am.

Anabelle:
Still or again?

Roger:
You know it's again. And don't get cute.

...

Anabelle:
You were the one.

Roger:
You weren't.

Don:
I can explain.

Betty:
I know you can. You're a gifted storyteller.

Don:
Where do you want me to start?

Betty:
What's your name?

Don:
(slowly) Donald Draper. But it used to be Dick Whitman.

Don:
People change their names, Bets. You did.

Betty:
I did. I took your name.

Betty:
What would you do if you were me? Would you love you?

Don:
I was surprised you ever loved me.

Pete:
I found out yesterday that Head of Accounts is going to Kenny and his haircut.

Trudy:
Have you been drinking?

Pete:
The whole country is drinking!

Peggy:
I have to go to the printer.

Paul:
I know a nooner when I hear one.

Peggy:
You're disgusting.

Don:
You had everything you ever wanted. Everything! And you loved it! And now I'm not good enough for some spoiled, mainline brat?!

Betty:
That's right!

Lane Pryce:
[Answers the phone to a call from London] Saint-John, how are you?

Saint-John Powell:
What in God's name is going on over there?

Lane:
I think at this point it should be very clear.

Saint-John Powell:
You're fired. You're fired for costing this company millions of pounds. You're fired for insubordination. You're fired for lack of character!

Lane:
[cheerfully] Very good. Happy Christmas!

Lane:
Mr. Hooker! I've been sacked. Please have my office and things put in storage at this address.

John Hooker:
What's happened?

Lane:
You're a sharp boy, you'll figure it out.

Don:
No. Because there are people out there who buy things, people like you and me. And something happened. Something terrible. And the way that they saw themselves is gone. And nobody understands that. But you do. And that’s very valuable.

Peggy:
Is it?

Don:
With you or without you I’m moving on. And I don’t know if I can do it alone. Will you help me?

Peggy:
What if I say no? You’ll never speak to me again.

Don:
No. I will spend the rest of my life trying to hire you.

Roger:
[as they leave their old offices] How long do you think it'll take us to be in a place like this again?

Don:
I never saw myself working in a place like this.

Roger:
Peggy, can you get me some coffee?

Peggy:
No.

Bert:
Young men love risk because they can’t imagine the consequences.

Don:
You old men love building golden tombs and sealing the rest of us in with you.