Miami 7

Tina:
Jon missed a step, and someone was a bit flat on the second chorus. (referring to Paul)

Paul:
I started to think about lunch, I completely lost it.

Tina:
(sarcastically) Thanks, Paul.

Paul:
You’re welcome, Tina.

Tina:
But apart from that, I thought we were okay.

Tina:
Listen, we all have to tell him. We gotta stand firm together. Unity is power.

Jo:
Bradley, get over here.

Bradley:
Yeah, coming.

Tina:
United we stand!

Everyone:
Yeah!

Hannah:
Divided we…what happens if we’re divided?

Paul:
We fall!

Hannah:
That’s it!

Bradley:
You know what? There should be some Power Rangers type lighten flashing by now, shouldn’t there?

Hannah, Jo, Paul, Rachel, Tina:
Hi, Jon.

Jo:
All right, Jon. What’s the matter?

Jon:
I went for a job interview.

Hannah:
And?

Jon:
Got some bad news.

Paul:
You didn’t get the job?

Jon:
Worse.

Rachel and Tina:
What?

Jon:
I did get the job.

Hannah:
Oh, that’s brilliant.

Jo:
Hannah, no it’s not.

Jon:
I've got a week’s training then I’ve gotta move to London.

Rachel:
What about the group?

Bradley:
Yes! I’ve done it! I’m a genius! Genius! Yes, I am a genius! What?

Bus Driver:
Okay, guys. That’s it. This is the end of the road.

Rachel:
But where’s the hotel?

Bus Driver:
Right there. The Florida Paradise Hotel. (chuckles)

Jo:
If this is paradise, I’d hate to see what the hell looks like.

Jon:
What did you expect?

Hannah:
I said no more imagining.

Bradley:
Come on, guys. It can’t be that bad.

Marvin:
Good evening. You must be the S Club 7. Welcome to Florida.

All:
Hi.

Marvin:
My name is Marvin Borlotti and this is my brother Howard.

Howard:
Hello, governors. Go-blimey. Have a cup of Rosie Lee and smack me on a bus with a kipper.

Howard:
Okay, okay. Welcoming ceremony is now completed. All right. You’re gonna be sleeping across the yard. You’re up at 7:30, work starts at 8am and you better be there on time, or there’ll be big trouble. Nice meeting you. Marvin, get out of that ridiculous outfit.

Bradley:
Up at 7:30?

Jo:
Work starts at 8am.

Paul:
Trouble.

Jon:
What if that job at clean eases is still open?

Howard:
Go on.

Marvin:
I can’t. It’s too cruel.

Howard:
Come on, Marvin, you remember the song? You gotta be cruel to be cruel.

Marvin:
To be kind.

Howard:
What’s that?

Marvin:
The song goes you got to be cruel to be kind.

Howard:
Well, I like the other song better. Now, GO ON!

Marvin:
(moans)

Jon:
What’s going on?

Jo:
What is that?

Tina:
I don’t know, but it could definitely use a base line.

Howard:
Rise and shine, move them out.

Rachel:
Has it started yet?

All:
Nope!

Jon:
Where have you been, Rach?

Rachel:
I went to phone for some help, see if we could get towed back.

Tina:
What did they say?

Rachel:
They said we could be here for about three weeks.

All:
Three weeks?

Rachel:
(nodding) Mmm.

Jon:
Who did you phone, Rachel?

Rachel:
I phoned the AA!

All:
Owww!

Tina:
But we’re in America, you divvy!

Rachel:
Well, it was worth a try, wasn’t it?

Rachel:
Bradley, I’m not a sex object!

Bradley:
Not to me you’re not, but some people have got no taste!

Jon:
What is the point of all this?

Jo:
We’re gonna try positive thinking and get the car go in.

Tina:
You know it’s not going to work.

Hannah:
What do we think about?

Bradley:
Think of a car engine revving up.

Jo:
No. Not yet. Everybody thinking.

Rachel:
Yes.

Tina:
What a waste of time.

Paul:
Just tumor her.

Jo:
Oh, come on. Think! Think!

Paul:
Vroom, vroom!

Jo:
Think! Know more! No, louder! Everybody, louder! All right, now!

Rachel:
Go! Go!

All:
Yay!

Rachel:
CUT! CUT! (blocking her band mates from wetting her with squirt guns) You said you wouldn’t soak me. You promised.

Jon:
Not such of a promise, more like a gullible test.

Tina:
I’m sorry to inform to Miss Stevens, but you failed. (goofing around)

Rachel:
Yeah, but it’s not funny. I could’ve drowned, could’ve scarred, I’m soaking wet. Do I look all right?

Jo:
Yes, of course you do.

Bradley:
Like a film star.

Rachel:
I do.

Jon:
Yeah.

Rachel:
Who?

Hannah:
The Little Mermaid.

Bradley:
Come on, Rach, you look pretty on camera.

Rachel:
Do I?

Bradley:
Yeah, look. (He shows Rachel)

Rachel:
Oh yeah, you’re right. The camera really loves me.

Bradley:
Yeah, almost as much as you do.

Jo:
We are in Florida. I mean, what if there was a hurricane.

Rachel:
Jo, the only violet winds we’re in danger is when Bradley eat Cuban food.

Paul:
All right, I admit it. I peed in the swimming pool, (spooked to see people there).

Howard:
(cheerfully) Who hasn’t?

Tina:
(to Howard) You’re a bad man!

Bradley:
(thinking Tina used profanity) Tina, you kiss her mother with that mouth.

Hannah:
Paul, this is insane! Look around!

Rachel:
Where’s Jo?

Bradley:
She was there a minute ago!

Tina:
Look, up in the sky!

Bradley:
Is it a bird?

Rachel:
Is it a plane?

Hannah:
No, it’s an Essex girl!

All:
Jo!

Paul:
OH MY GOD!

Tina:
Where she go I can’t see her!

Paul:
Come on!

Tina:
Not you!

Rachel:
(Angry with him as well) This is all your fault! You stay here!

Bradley:
So, how are you getting on with that song?

Jon:
Yeah, not bad. I’m gonna call it, it’s over.

Bradley:
Nice one. You know what’s the word.

Jon:
Well, that’s as far as we’ve got.

Paul:
Jon, we’ve got to have this finished by tonight.

Jon:
Yeah, yeah. I know. Don’t panic. All I need is a word that rhymes with misery then I’ll be on my way.

Bradley:
Misery? That’s easy. Misery, misery, misery. (thinking) Okay, I’ve got it. How about misery?

Paul:
Bradley, that’s the same word.

Bradley:
I know, but it rhymed, didn’t it?

Tina:
Howard?

Rachel:
Dating?

Jo:
You’re joking.

Tina:
Who’s the victim? I mean like a woman. Anyone we know?

Rachel:
Till we know the Bride of Frankenstein?

Marvin:
Well actually, er, she’s a very intelligent and attractive woman which is why Howard’s so determined to get it fight this time.

Jo:
And how is he gonna do that apart from sending someone else long to be him?

Marvin:
How? You’re gonna tell him what to do. That’s how.

Rachel:
We are? I don’t think so, Marvin.

Marvin:
Ooh, it’s hot today.

Rachel:
Do you have a pen?

Tina:
You might wanna take a few notes.

Jon:
She is amazing. How does she do that?

Jo:
It’s a skill like speaking French or juggling.

Jon:
Yeah, but I can juggle and speak French.

Jo:
Yeah, but can you do both at the same time? Well, there you are then.

Jon:
Well, apparently.

Jo:
Look, don’t get into estate. It’ll happen when it happens.

Jon:
Yeah, but when, though?

Rachel:
Guys, she’s bringing him over.

Bradley:
Check out it.

Paul:
Who’s that?

Bradley:
It's Tina’s dad, it looks like he’s blaming Howard for her disappearing act.

Edward Barrett:
What kind of employer are you anyway?

Howard:
Employer… I am much more than an employer to those kids, sir. Oh yeah, I feel for them, I laugh with them, I cry with them, I would even bleed for them. (Forgetting which was Tina), Which one was your daughter again?

Bradley:
Did she leave her assistant’s number somewhere in there?

Everyone except Tina, Edward, Howard, and Marvin:
BRADLEY!

Tina:
(Seeing Edward) Dad!

Edward:
Tina, are you all right?

Tina:
I will be when somebody gets a can opener and cuts me out of this.

Jo:
Just as where he’s beginning to really like it here.

Hannah:
I know.

Tina:
I can’t believe he’s treating us like this. It’s like some but of scrappy he could just buy himself.

Rachel:
I wonder what he’s gonna be like that.

Jo:
We don’t have to go.

Rachel:
Don’t we?

Jo:
Well, we’ve got a choice, haven’t we?

Rachel:
Have we?

Jo:
Well, of course we have. Well that’s it then.

Tina:
What is?

Jo:
I’m not going.

Hannah and Rachel:
What?

Jo:
I’m not going. I’m putting my foot down.

Tina:
What are we going to do?

Paul:
We could sacrifice a goat. (jokily)

Jo:
Yeah! You get in there and give him a piece of my mind!

Bradley:
Can you spare that much?

Jo:
Oh, that’s very cute, Brad, coming from someone who has trouble spelling IQ!

Paul:
I think you need to be heading left, and er, right, or maybe north or possibly south.

Jon:
But isn’t it poor or starving at the moment?

Paul:
Okay then, yeah. We’ll take the first port, second starboard and then straight ahead.

Jo:
Yeah, but which way is port, or which way is starboard?

Paul:
Or port must be the gardener’s land, mustn’t it?

Tina:
Well, which way is that?

Jon:
Uh-oh.

Bradley:
Wait a minute! What’s that up ahead?

Rachel:
Just some kind of big mist! Oh no!

Jo:
I can’t believe you’re making in front us out of us when even you are too scared to go in the loo because of your cockroach.

Bradley:
Yeah, but our cockroach is bigger than your cockroach.

Tina:
Can we focus please? We’re telling Howard that we’re not happy sharing our accommodation with that thing.

Hannah:
I feel sorry for the poor little creature. I’m glad we didn’t tell you about the one in the kitchen.

Jo:
The kitchen?!

Jon:
Oh my god! There was one in the kitchen?

Tina:
And you didn’t tell us.

Hannah:
I didn’t tell anyone. Well, apart from one customer.

Paul:
You told the customer? Hannah, what happens if you tell us someone else? What happens if your authorities get to you about this?

Hannah:
What authorities?

Bradley:
So we’re going to the airport then.

Rachel:
Yes.

Jon:
Are we not gonna hang around in America to see what happens?

Rachel:
No.

Jon:
So we’re not gonna go on a big adventure where anything could happen and we wanted to become famous.

Hannah:
Erm. Guess not.

Paul:
So we lose just when we start into it.

Jo:
So what’s it gonna be then? L.A. or the UK?

Rachel:
We’ve got 3 seconds to decide. 3, 2, 1.