My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Season 5

Twilight:
Let's go through this one more time

Rainbow Dash:
We've been over it like 1,000,000 times, Twilight! We've found all 6 keys, defeated Tirek, and got this sweet castle. End of story.

Twilight:
Yes, but why?

Applejack:
I dunno, Sugarcube. Maybe it's just your new house and there ain't nothing more to it than that.

Starlight Glimmer:
Well, this will certainly provide a boost to our little community. When the rest of Equestria sees that a princess gave up her cutie mark to join us, they'll finally understand what we're trying to accomplish.

Starlight:
And here is the Staff of Sameness. It was one of the great mage Meadowbrook's nine enchanted items. We are incredibly fortunate to have it here. This is the tool that allows us to free ourselves from our marks! I'm curious – how did the subject of the vault come up?

Pinkie:
Oh, some ponies were telling us how much they missed their cutie marks, and—

Twilight:
Pinkie!

Pinkie:
Oops.

Starlight:
[gasps] Were they? Well, it seems you inspire all sorts of free thinking, don't you?

Rarity:
[laughs nervously] Well, w-we certainly didn't intend to cause any disruptions to your charming little—

Starlight:
Good. Let's just make sure of that, shall we?

[the creepy ponies all surround the Mane 6]

Twilight:
It's a trap!

[after Starlight painfully takes their cutie marks away, Starlight gloats at Twilight]

Starlight:
Aw. I don't blame you for what you tried to do here today. You've spent your whole lives thinking those marks are a good thing.

Twilight:
Give them back!

Starlight:
Well, now you can spend the rest of your lives here with us! And we'll teach you just how much better life can be without your cutie marks!

[played over intercom by Starlight]

Starlight:
In sameness, there is peace. Exceptionalism is a lie. Free yourself from your cutie mark. Choose equality as your special talent. Difference is frustration. To excel is to fail. Be your best by never being your best. Conformity will set you free. Accept your limitations, and happiness will follow. You're no better than your friends.

[after Starlight Glimmer's real cutie mark is exposed to the ponies, they gasp in shock]

Starlight:
Wha... What are you looking at?! They're the problem, not me!

Party Favor:
How could you?!

Double Diamond:
You said cutie marks were evil! You said special talents led to pain and heartache!

Starlight:
They do! Don't you see?! Look at them!

Sugar Belle:
Then why? Why did you take ours and not give up your own?

Starlight:
I... I had to, you fools! How could I collect your cutie marks without my magic?!

Night Glider:
But the staff has all the magic we need!

Starlight:
The staff is a piece of wood I found in the desert! It's MY magic that makes all this possible! You'd all still be living your miserable lives thinking you're better than everypony else if it weren't for MY magical abilities! I brought you friendship! I BROUGHT YOU EQUALITY!! I CREATED HARMONY!!!

Double Diamond:
You lied to us!!

Starlight:
So what? E-Everything else I said is true! The only way to be happy is if we're all equal!

Party Favor:
Except for you.

[Starlight glares evilly.]

Twilight Sparkle:
Everypony has unique talents and gifts, and when we share them with each other, that's how rea—

Starlight:
QUIET!!!!!

[Short pause]

Sugar Belle:
You can't have a cutie mark, Starlight! Either we're all equal, or none of us are!

Sugar Belle:
My newest recipe: Snow Pie!

[After the Mane 6 get their cutie marks back, Starlight is about to attack Party Favor, Sugar Belle, Night Glider, and Double Diamond, but Twilight deflects her magic]

Starlight:
Wh– I studied that spell for years! How can you—

Twilight:
I studied magic for years too! But what I didn't know then was that studying could only take me so far. Each of my friends has taught me something different about myself. It was their unique gifts and passions and personalities that helped bring out the magic inside of me. I never would have learned that I represent the element of magic without these five, and I certainly wouldn't be here to stop you now!

Starlight:
Spare me your sentimental nonsense! I gave these ponies real friendships they never could've had otherwise!!

Double Diamond:
How do you know that?! You never even gave us a chance!

[Starlight uses her magic to escape them and goes into hiding in a cave.]

Rainbow Dash:
She's getting away!

Double Diamond:
We'll never find her in there!

Twilight:
We just have to hope that when she's had a chance to think it over, she realizes that you all have taught her something.

Twilight:
Huh?! I'm pancake! I mean, awake...

Applejack:
Uh, Twilight? Is there something you wanna tell us

Rarity:
You know how much we appreciate all you do for us, and we simply adore having you around... But... We worry you might be... Ahem... Avoiding something else.

Twilight:
Oh, has it been that obvious? I've been... The thing is... I know it's silly, but I... I've been avoiding... This place.

Rarity:
Why in Equestria would you want to avoid such a gorgeous castle?

Pinkie:
Yeah! This place has everything! Big tall ceilings that make you feel tiny...shiny new floors that are cold to the touch...brrr! And it even has loooooong empty HALLWAYS!

["Hallways" echos out]

Pinkie:
[glumly] Okay, I get it.

Fluttershy:
What do we do now?

Rarity:
I hate to be the bearer of more bad news, but it’s almost sunset! We don’t figure this out soon, it’s going to look like we didn't lift a hoof to help her!

Rainbow Dash:
Why is this so hard? We’re Twilight’s best friends. This should be easy for us.

Applejack:
She said it herself. If anypony should be able to make her feel comfortable in her new home, it's us. If we can’t do it...

Fluttershy:
Then Twilight will be stuck living in a castle that just makes her feel...sad.

["Sad" echos out]

Pinkie:
Wow, Fluttershy! I didn’t know you could be loud enough to echo!

Rainbow Dash:
Come on! You're practically twins!

Spike:
I'm purple.

Rainbow Dash:
But if you don't have to hibernate, why should Tank?!

Spike:
Because he's a tortoise and I'm a dragon!

Rainbow Dash:
Same family though, right?

Spike:
No!

Rainbow Dash:
I'll take that as a yes.

Sunshower:
So where do these clouds go?

Open Skies:
Over by Clear Skies.

Sunshower:
But there's clear skies everywhere.

Clear Skies:
Yo, Clear Skies right here!

Sunshower:
But there's clear skies over there, too!

Clear Skies:
That's Open Skies!

Sunshower:
There's open skies everywhere!

Open Skies:
I'm not everywhere, I'm right here!

Sunshower:
[sighs] Wait. You're Open Skies, and you're Clear Skies, then what's all that?

Clear Skies and Open Skies:
Open, clear skies!

Open Skies:
Hey, where'd our fluffy clouds go?

Clear Skies:
Fluffy Clouds? He's over there!

Discord:
Knock knock! [no one responds] You're supposed to say 'Who's there?' This is the most basic of jokes! [smashes a watermelon]

Maud:
You're the most basic of jokes. [everypony laughs]

Pinkie:
(laughing) Good one, Maud! (laughs more)

Twilight Sorry, Princess Celestia. I-I thought I could give you a break tonight. But it turns out I was in over my head.

Celestia:
(overjoyed) You have nothing to apologize for, this has been the most fun Gala in years!!

Twilight:
(oblivious) I know. It was a— (realizing) —WHAT?!! But...there was ooze all over the place, a-and one of the guests threatened to send somepony to another dimension!

Celestia:
I know. Can you imagine how dull it would have been if I hadn't invited Discord? (She pushes Twilight with her) Come on! Ho! The night is still young! (giggles)

Pinkie:
Whatcha reading, Rainbow?

Rainbow Dash:
[sighs] Twilight literally wrote a book on what we need to do in Griffonstone.

Pinkie:
You mean, like, a guide on how to figure out what problem we're supposed to fix?

Rainbow Dash:
And then some. It's like Twilight herself in book form! [imitating Twilight, complete with a matching hairstyle] "Always carry plenty of bits! The griffons are sure to help you as long as you share the wealth!"

[Talking to a statue of King Grover]

Pinkie:
It's sad what happened to your town, King, but Rainbow Dash can't be right. This can't all be because of a missing hunk of gold. [moving the statue's beak, doing a funny voice] "You're right, Pinkie! And you've got amazing hair!" [normal] Aw, King Grover, you old charmer!

Rainbow Dash:
Hello, Gilda.

Gilda:
Dash.

Pinkie:
PINKIE!

Pinkie:
I know what Griffonstone needs!

Gilda:
Fewer ponies?

Pinkie:
A song! I've got a super song about smiling that sure to make even the most grumpy griffon grin! [inhales]

Gilda:
[covers Pinkie's mouth] Can't sing here! [points to a "No singing" sign]

Pinkie:
But how do you break into uplifting musical numbers with no singing?

Gilda:
[sarcastic] Yeah, that's Griffonstone's biggest problem – lack of uplifting musical numbers.

Pinkie:
Well, if I can't sing, how about a party? If there's one thing these griffons need, it's a good cheer! Where's your party store?

Gilda:
[gives her an annoyed look]

Pinkie:
No party store? Err... how about cake? Nothing cheers folks up like cake! Where's a bakery?

Gilda:
[groans]

Pinkie:
No singing, no parties, no bakery?! WHAT IS THIS PLACE?!

Gilda:
You're welcome to leave AT ANY TIME! [her yelling blows Pinkie backwards into a wall]

Pinkie:
Grampa Gruff's recipe is good, but it's missing one important ingredient.

Gilda:
Don't tell me - friendship?

Pinkie:
Uh, no. Baking powder. Lucky for you, I never leave home without it!

Pinkie:
AHA! I saw that, Gilda! You may act like a gruff, grumbling griffon, but inside you're gracious and great!

Gilda:
What are you talking about?

Pinkie:
You just helped your friend up when she got knocked down.

Gilda:
What, her? Greta's just some griffon I know. We don't have friends here! [sighs, looking sad] I did have a friend once - but you saw how that turned out.

[After Gilda chooses to save Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie, letting the Idol of Boreas fall into the Abysmal Abyss]

Rainbow Dash:
The Idol!

Gilda:
You're more important to me than some dumb chunk of gold.

[The three hug; the rock crumbles beneath them]

Pinkie:
Hugging later, climbing now!

Gilda:
I'm really sorry about how I treated you two.

Rainbow Dash:
No thanks, Gilda.

Pinkie:
Apology not accepted.

Rainbow Dash:
And I'm just sorry we didn't get your Idol back. Now we'll never be able to solve Griffonstone's problem.

Pinkie:
That's what I was trying to tell you! The map didn't send us here to find the lost Idol of Boreas; it sent us here to replace it with something better!

Gilda:
Nothing's better than gold to a griffon.

Pinkie:
That's because you don't have friendship! If you can learn to care about each other again, Griffonstone could be a mightier kingdom than it ever was before! And you don't need some golden idol to do that. You just need each other.

Rainbow Dash:
Whoa, Pinkie, that was... really sappy.

Pinkie:
Eh, what can I say? That's how I roll.

[After Gilda offers a scone to Greta]

Gilda:
OK, so she was really weirded out until I gave her the scone. Then she tried it and said it tasted good! That's the first nice thing anygriffon's ever said to me!

[Rainbow Dash and Pinkie's cutie marks ring]

Rainbow Dash:
Whoa, Pinkie. I guess that really was the problem we needed to solve.

Pinkie:
[commercial style] Baking powder makes baked goods and friendships fluffy and delicious! [smiles, making the "squee" sound]

Gummy:
"What is life? Is it nothing more than the endless search for a cutie mark? And what is a cutie mark but a constant reminder that we're all only one bugbear attack away from oblivion? And what of the poor gator? Flank forever blank, destined to an existential swim down the river of life to... an unknowable destiny?"

Mayor Mare:
Cranky searched all across this great land of ours to find Matilda, and no matter what obstacles kept them apart, love would finally bring them together, just as it has brought all of us together now. It's remarkable to me, how a story like Cranky's search for Matilda could fill this room with such a unique collection of ponies. It makes you realize that everypony is the star of their own story, and it's not just the main characters in our stories that make life so rich. It's everypony - those who play big parts, and those who play small. If it weren't for everypony in this room, and many more here who couldn't be here today, Cranky and Matilda's lives wouldn't be as full and vibrant as they are.

Twilight:
You know something, girls? We are so lucky to live in this town. [hugs them] I love you all.

Rainbow Dash:
Ow! That's where the bugbear bit me.

Twilight:
Sorry.

Cadance:
Spike?

Spike:
[muffled] A little help?

Cadance:
Spike, we need you!

Spike:
Of course! What can I do?

[door opens]

Spike:
Whoa, what happened to you?

Twilight:
[groans, looking tired] Sorry, Spike. I just... [yawns] ...need a quick... nap. Napkin! Tell the delegates I'll... [trails off]

Cadance:
She's been awake for 3 straight days preparing for the summit. We need to make sure she gets some rest today. She'll never be able to attend the welcome reception in this condition. Can I count on you to see to it that she isn't disturbed?

Spike:
I promise! I won't let you down!

Twilight:
Ugh. Is everypony alright?

Fluttershy:
I can't tell if my eyes are open or closed.

Rainbow Dash:
I think I can see a little bit.

[crash]

Rainbow Dash:
Gah! Nope.

[light flickers on]

Main cast sans Pinkie:
Ooooh...

Applejack:
Look at these! Pinkie's made files for everypony in town!

Fluttershy:
With exactly what kind of parties we like.

Rainbow Dash:
Pinkie Pie has a secret party-planning cave?! How cool is this?!

Fluttershy:
[reading] "Twilight Sparkle likes vanilla ice cream, red balloons, dancing..."

Twilight:
That's right!

Fluttershy:
"But she's afraid of quesadillas."

Twilight:
No, I'm not! They're just so... [shudders] cheesy.

Young Twilight:
But according to this book, you’re supposed to add the sodium chloride first.

Young Moondancer:
I read ahead, and to make a proper salt lick, you need to add the molasses first!

Young Twilight:
Well, I read ahead too, Moondancer! And I'm sure it said sodium chloride first!

Young Moondancer:
[flatly] Oh. I've got the wrong book. That’s so hilarious.

Twilight:
[answered Moondancer's question] Eh, a bubble of silence. I haven't seen you in a while and I thought it might be nice to catch up.

Moondancer:
Look, Twilight Twinkle...

Twilight Sparkle:
Sparkle.

Moondancer:
Whatever. I just need to be alone so I can study without some crazy pony trying to make friends, alright?!

Twilight:
[gasps] Luna did it!

Rainbow Dash:
[yawns]

Applejack:
She sure did! Only... I'm not sure exactly what she did.

Twilight:
Luna created the Tantabus to punish herself! The worse she felt, the more power it had! But once she finally forgave herself for what Nightmare Moon did...

Spike:
Poof!

Fluttershy:
Shh! [points at Luna sleeping in the middle of the room]

Spike:
Huh. Wonder what she's dreaming about now.

Rarity:
While I've always prided myself on paying attention to detail, I've taken my latest collection to a whole new level with "Rarity's Rules of TLC"!

Pinkie:
Judging by this baby, TLC stands for "Tasty Liquorice Candy"!

Rarity:
TLC stands for "Time, Love and Couture". And while I do agree that this dress has potential, I've not had enough time to give it enough love to become couture.

[Observing Rarity's night-themed "Over the Moon" dress]

Goth Pony:
[monotone] Whoa. This dress completely speaks to my soul.

Sassy Saddles:
Rarity, I am so sorry. I focused on that one dress, and the rest of Rarity's Royal Regalia paid the price.

Rarity:
Well, so did the Princess Dress. The more I sold the more each dress lost its "Time, Love and Couture", becoming "Terrible, Lacklustre and Common".

Sassy Saddles:
I think I finally understand the Rules of Rarity... and will apply them at my next job.

Rarity:
I beg your pardon? The Rules of Rarity are only to be applied at Canterlot Carousel! Which is why you must continue to manage the boutique while I'm in Ponyville.

Sassy Saddles:
Ponyville?

Rarity:
Well, yes, I'll come to Canterlot with new designs and to see the customers of course, but Ponyville was always going to be my home base.

Sassy Saddles:
[gasps] Bobbins and bodkins, Rarity! Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you! And I promise to run everything following your rules.

Rarity:
I would expect nothing less.

Rarity:
Oh, Manehattan...what you do to me!

Diamond Tiara:
[standing up to her mother, Spoiled Rich] You've spent your life acting like a high horse, and raised me to follow in your hoofsteps! At first I thought this was fine, but then I finally realized I wanted something you don't have: friends!

Spoiled Rich:
That's enough, Diamond Tiara! Step away from those blank-flanks!

Diamond Tiara:
These are the Cutie Mark Crusaders, and they are my friends! You need to stop calling them such mean and hurtful names! They are working harder to get their cutie marks than any pony I've even seen. And they will get them exactly when they discover their true talent - which I guarantee will be amazing!

Cutie Mark Crusaders:
[in unison] We all got the same cutie marks! Cutie Mark Crusaders forever!

Limestone Pie:
Gaze into the eyes of Limestone Pie. Ma and Pa may own this rock farm, but I keep it running. Cross me and-

Pinkie:
Aye-aye, Captain Grumpy! No one’s gonna mess with your precious mine!

Limestone:
Or Holder’s Boulder!

Pinkie:
[sighs] Everypony stay away from Holder’s Boulder! There, you happy now?

Applejack:
And you must be—

Pinkie:
This is Marble Pie, my baby sister who’s only a few minutes younger than me, but she’ll always be a baby to me, isn’t that right? She’s so excited to meet everypony! Oh, and she wishes you all a happy Hearth’s Warming!

[Long pause, Pinkie elbows Marble]

Marble:
Mmm-hmm.

Applejack:
[To Apple Bloom] Guess Pinkie Pie always did the talkin' for her.

Twilight:
Wow, that was inspired!

Pinkie:
You have to do this every year!

Fluttershy:
We...could celebrate Nightmare Night together every year....But...the truth is, I really don’t want to.

Pinkie:
[shocked] YOU DON'T?!!

Rarity:
But you’ve done it! You’ve found a way that we can all have a fabulous time together!

Fluttershy:
Yes, but I’ve also realized something: You all may love Nightmare Night, and I may be good at being a part of it, but it’s no fun for me to see my friends feel like they’re in danger, even if I know they’re not. I really don’t like it, It’s just not my cup of tea.

Pinkie:
[scary voice] Spoooooky tea?

Fluttershy:
No, just regular tea. We do lots of fun things together, but I’m afraid this just isn’t gonna be one of them. Actually, I’m not afraid, I’m perfectly fine with it.

Twilight:
Then we are, too.

Twilight:
Obviously, the long-term effects of the simultaneous acquisition of cutie marks has yet to be determined, but... [sips water] Next slide, please?

[Long pause, Moondancer wakes Spike, who provides the slides]

Twilight:
I can speak from my own experience that the power of cutie mark magic is very real. And in the instance of my friends and I, it can be traced to a single event. Without Rainbow Dash’s race to defend Fluttershy’s honor, this Rainboom wouldn’t have happened. Fluttershy might never have discovered her love of animals...Applejack might never have realized that she belonged on her farm... And Pinkie might never have decided to leave hers. It might be hard to imagine Rarity without her sense of fabulousness, but it’s even harder to fathom what my life would be like. without this Rainboom, I might not have gotten into magic school, Celestia wouldn’t have taken me on as her pupil, or sent me to Ponyville to meet my friends. And the most powerful thing about cutie mark magic that I’ve found is the connection I share with them.

[She stops as she notices Starlight in the audience; she looks around, but she has vanished]

Twilight:
But...um...the real question about cutie mark magic is who it seems to affect.

Starlight:
Welcome home, Twilight!

Twilight:
Pinkie? Fluttershy?

Pinkie:
Silence, [softly] changeling!

Fluttershy:
All servants of Queen Chrysalis found in these woods... must be destroyed!

Nightmare Moon:
[to Twilight] I am the ruler of all of Equestria. Do you think I can't deal with timberwolves?

Starlight Glimmer:
I stayed here and never made another friend, because I was too afraid another cutie mark would take them away too!

Twilight Sparkle:
That's ridiculous. A cutie mark can't take your friends away.

Starlight Glimmer:
Not everypony's lucky enough to get her cutie mark at the same time as her friends!

[Teleports them back to the past]

Starlight Glimmer:
You don't know what it's like to lose a friend because of a cutie mark. But once I stop the rainboom, you will! [snatches the time travel scroll with her magic] And when I destroy this scroll, there'll be no way for you to change it! [starts to slowly rip it in two, to Twilight's horror]

Twilight Sparkle:
Starlight, you're right! I don't know what you went through! But I do know you can't do this! I've seen where this leads, and so have you!

Starlight Glimmer:
I only saw what you showed me! Who knows what'll really happen?

Twilight Sparkle:
I've seen it a dozen times! Things don't turn out well in Equestria without my friends.

Starlight Glimmer:
Ugh! What's so special about your friends?! [rips the scroll even further] How can a group of ponies that are so different be so important?!

Twilight Sparkle:
The differences between me and my friends are the very things that make our friendship strong!

Starlight Glimmer:
[starting to tear up] I thought Sunburst and I were the same... but we turned out different, and it TORE OUR FRIENDSHIP APART! [rips the scroll close to breaking point]

Twilight Sparkle:
So try again! Make new friends! And if something that you can't control happens that changes things, work through it together. That's what friendship is! And it's not just my friendships that are important to Equestria - everypony's are! When yours ended, it led us here. But just imagine all the others that are out there waiting for you if you just give them a chance!

Starlight Glimmer:
[still crying] How do I know they won't all end the same way?

Twilight Sparkle:
I guess it's up to you to make sure they don't.

[Twilight offers her hoof. After some hesitation, Starlight takes it and releases the scroll, which Spike quickly retrieves. The rainboom happens, and Twilight and Spike take Starlight back to their time.]

Starlight:
I know there's no excuse for what I did, but I want you all to know that I'm ready for whatever punishment you think is fair.

Twilight:
I've been thinking a lot about how badly Equestria fared without just one group of friends. Because even when one friendship dies, the results can be disastrous.

Starlight:
I know first-hoof how true that can be.

Twilight:
And that's why I've asked you here. If you're willing to learn, I'm willing to teach you what I know. You'll have the power to make Equestria an even better place.

Starlight:
How do I start?

Twilight:
Starting is easy. All you have to do is make a friend...and you've got seven of them right here.

Luna:
Oh, Apple Bloom. You can't get away from your own shadow.