Open All Hours, Series 3

Mavis:
I find life is so complicated.

Mrs Featherstone:
It is, unless you keep it in its place.

Mavis:
I thought I'd be used to it by now.

Mrs Featherstone:
Well, I'm not a religious woman, but I've found if you say "No" to everything, you can hardly tell the difference.

Arkwright:
Night after night she used to try; and then one night, out of the blue-or, out of the black, rather-suddenly there came this knock.

Granville:
A visitor from the spirit world!

Arkwright:
Well, in a way, yes. He was a chap who worked at the off-licence.

Arkwright reminisces about Granville's second cousin, Ethel, who conducted séances: