Richie Rich

[Richie wants to play baseball with Gloria's sandlot-team]

Richie Rich:
Come on. Let me hit.

Gloria:
Forget it; you probably couldn't even hit a BEACH BALL!

Richie Rich:
I could hit it off of YOU.

Gloria:
[insulted] All right - You think you're so hot? Put your money where your mouth is!

Richie Rich:
You mean bet?

Tony:
Yeah. $5 says she could put you away for keeps.

Gloria:
$5? How about $10?

Richie Rich:
Okay - Seems a little steep, but $10 thousand it is.

[Richie takes a wad of bills out of his pocket; the other kids are shocked]

Gloria:
No, not $10 thousand. $10 dollars.

Richie Rich:
Oh, $10 dollars. Okay.

Herbert Cadbury:
Master Richie, I do think it unseemly in the extreme for you to take these - children's money.

Gloria:
What are you doing, Mr. Fancy Pants? Asking the old guy for batting tips?

Herbert Cadbury:
[insulted] Take their backsides to the cleaners, Master Richie.

Richard Rich Sr.:
How do you put up with me, Regina?

Regina Rich:
Well, you are worth $70 billion.

Richard Rich Sr.:
Is that the ONLY reason?

Regina Rich:
[she lightly gives him a kiss] No. You also have a cute butt.

[she walks away sensually; he looks embarrassed, then chuckles]

Richard Rich Sr.:
Hey, Cadbury, did you hear that?

Herbert Cadbury:
Indeed, sir. Madam admires your butt. I'm most delighted for you.

Herbert Cadbury:
Excuse me, sir. It's a telephone call, from the President.

Richard Rich Sr.:
Which country?

Herbert Cadbury:
This one, sir.

Richard Rich Sr.:
Ah...Probably needs another loan.

Pee-Wee:
Hey, man, just checking out your crib here.

Richie Rich:
My crib?

Herbert Cadbury:
I believe that's street slang for home, sir, an idiom.

Omar:
Who you callin' an idiom?

[Having forced Richard Sr. and Regina to open Mount Richmore, Van Dough finds that instead of money, it contains baby pictures, comic books, baseball cards, finger paintings, etc.]

Van Dough:
This is incredible! This is amazing! This is...This is JUNK!

[Regina and Richard Sr. both look insulted]

Regina Rich:
Junk?

Van Dough:
Bronze dog bones? What? Accordians? Baby pictures, tricycles, kites... [Picks up a trophy] Bowling trophies?

Richard Rich Sr.:
Oh, do you remember that, darling?

Regina Rich:
Oh, our first date!

Van Dough:
What is all of this crap?

Regina Rich:
These are our priceless possessions!

Van Dough:
Where are the gold bars... the diamonds... the negotiable bearer bonds, the money? [Aims his gun at Richard Sr.] WHERE'S THE MONEY?

Richard Rich Sr.:
In banks. Where else? And the stock market, real estate...

Van Dough:
No! Is this some kind of joke? You're telling me there isn't one single solitary gold bar, or emerald, or $1,000 bill in this entire mountain?

Richard Rich Sr.:
Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you, Lawrence, but that's not what we treasure.

Van Dough:
[to Ambler] Shoot them. Shoot them now, please!

[Ambler is about to shoot Richard and Regina, when Richie appears, brandishing a sword]

Richie Rich:
What's the matter, Mr. Van Dough? Can't do it yourself?

Regina Rich:
Richie, get out of here!

Richie Rich:
It's okay, Mom. I don't think he has the guts to shoot anyone.

Richard Rich Sr.:
Richie, no! [Ambler points his gun to Richard's throat]

Van Dough:
Generally, you're right, but... on this occasion, I think I'll make an exception. [shoots Richie, not realizing he is wearing Keenbean's special spray that makes his clothes bulletproof; Richard and Regina scream]

Richie Rich:
Cool.