Rizzoli & Isles, Season 2

Maura:
You look terrible.

Jane:
Thank you.

Maura:
You're making everyone late.

Jane:
Even you would look bad if a bullet had gone through you.

Maura:
Hmm. Laceration to her peritoneum and small bowel could explain the jaundice color.

Jane:
Okay, you may not casually discuss my privates.

Maura:
Three months. You could have read all of Shakespeare, you know? Learned Finnish. Instead you've become a platinum member of the shopping channel.

Jane:
I swear to God, if you start cleaning I will kick you out.

Maura:
Is that why you banned your mother?

Jane:
Is that what she said? Did she mention that all of her OCD banging and clanking around isn't restful. Wait, Finnish? Like Finland Finnish?

Maura:
You know, the stress hormone cortisol suppresses your immune cells ability to activate telomerase.

Jane:
So you say. Mine are fine.

Maura:
Quite simply: keeping your brain busy aids recovery. Mind. Body.

Jane:
Mind. Business.

Maura:
You are my business.

Maura:
[holds Jane's dress uniform] Put this on.

Jane:
It makes me look like a man.

Jane:
Hey. What does La Bode Truck? (Pronounces it wrong)

Maura:
Five star french restaurant, brilliant nouveau take on escargot.

Jane:
Is this okay? (Referring to her suit)

Maura:
Are you out of you're mind?

Jane:
What? I'm meeting Jessie Wayde, He wants to do the interview there.

Maura:
At La Bode Truc?

Jane:
Yeah.

Maura:
Le booty call. (Giggles)

Jane:
(Smiles) What did you just say?

Frankie:
I know Jane took Lily's cup. Where is it?

Maura:
Don't be mad at Jane. She just did it because she loves you.

Frankie:
Well what's your excuse?

Maura:
Well, I have a bigger purse and access to superior paternity testing.

Jane:
How is it that you can't lie, but you can talk me into spying on my brother?

Maura:
We're not spying! We're not! We are gathering data to test a hypothesis, which is the first step of scientific inquiry.

Jane:
Nice try. We -- you and I --we are snooping, meddling. We are sticking our noses where they do not belong.

[Frankie and his girlfriend pull up]

Jane:
Oh, my God, I've turned into my mother.

Isles:
[examining stomach contents] Bad news: undigested iceberg lettuce.

Rizzoli:
Oh, I should sit down. That is terrible news.

Frankie:
It is?

Rizzoli:
No. That's just Maura news.

Isles:
Good news: undigested ground beef, but I can't tell what grade it is.

Rizzoli:
[sarcastically] Yippee! Can you tell what market it came from?

Isles:
I'm ignoring you.

Isles:
The foremost expert in forensic entomology identified the larva on Dante's shoe.

Rizzoli:
[looking into a microscope] What am I looking at?

Isles:
The Asian Longhorned Beetle. It's an exotic pest. Do you realize what a big break this is?

Rizzoli:
No. But I didn't spend my life playing with bug larva.

Isles:
There has been a recent infestation of the Asian Longhorn

Rizzoli:
Please don't tell me that they're marching to my apartment.

Isles:
They're only found in this one area, Loyalist Park.

Rizzoli:
Wait, are you saying Dante could have been killed in this park?

Isles:
Oh, no. I'm only able to conclusively say that Dante's shoes were in Loyalist Park the night he was murdered.

Rizzoli:
Okay, you know what? You are officially ridiculous. His shoes didn't go there by themselves. [begins to walk out] Come on, Maura.

Rizzoli:
[referring to the victim] Who is he?

Korsak:
Paul Langford, 34.

Isles:
He suffered what appears to be a single gunshot wound to the chest. [leans forward] Oh, that's a shame.

Rizzoli:
What?

Isles:
Quite a bit of intra-abdominal fat. Belly fat. You know, it's linked to high cholesterol, high insulin levels.

Rizzoli:
I don't think he's worried about his cholesterol level, Maura.

Frost:
Blood spatter indicates he was shot inside this van.

Rizzoli:
This is strange looking blood.

Isles:
Do you see why I will only commit to a redish brown stain? This is not blood.

Rizzoli:
Well what is it then, Dr. Smarty Pants?

Isles:
Paint. Yeah. I see flecks of avocado green, Tiffany Blue --

Rizzoli:
Enough, Picasso.

Rizzoli:
Tommy was telling the truth: John was painting yesterday morning. If he was doing that he couldn't have possibly be robbing a bank.

Isles:
Unlike electrons, human beings can't be in two places at once. Some physical laws of quantum mechanics.

Rizzoli:
I kind of love that you know that.

Isles:
You do? So you don't hate me?

Rizzoli:
No, I still hate you.

Isles:
Okay. I'll work on hating you too.

Rizzoli:
[finds herself presented with a bottle of wine] But I'm having grilled cheese.

Isles:
But it goes with anything. It's a 1994 Château d'Yquem.

Rizzoli:
Again? I'm so sick of that.

Isles:
[laughs] It's sheer perfection. I've only had it once.

Rizzoli:
Listen, I don't want to stand in the way of a great romance, okay?

Isles:
What do you mean?

Rizzoli:
You and Tommy. I mean, clearly opposites attract.

Isles:
It's an evolutionary strategy to ensure healthy reproduction.

Rizzoli:
Okay, why do you gotta go straight to breeding? All right? With my brother.

Isles:
[laughs] Look, I like Tommy. A lot. But I love you, and I hate it when you hate me, so I don't want to do anything to compromise our friendship.

Rizzoli:
Good, because I hate it when I have to hate you.

Jane:
What do you think? Did she kill herself?

Maura:
The bruising and deep-tissue injury around the ligature exceeds the circumference of the noose.

Jane:
Fifteen words where one would do.

Maura:
Not a suicide. She was strangled by the rope and posed in the chair.

Jane:
Looks like we'll be bringing in Eddie after all.

Korsak:
We still don't have enough on him. [grabbing his lower back in pain] Oh!

Maura:
Lower back pain, sergeant?

Korsak:
Ah, too much of this downward-doggy thing with Melody.

Maura:
You know back pain is the second most common ailment in the United States.

Jane:
What's the most common ailment? Your fun facts?

Maura:
Headaches.

Jane:
So she's got you doing yoga? This is getting serious.

Korsak:
I've never known her to stick with anything. Maybe she's changed.

Maura:
By acknowledging her change, you let go of past anger and focus on the present.

Jane:
Thank you Deepak Maura

Frost:
Maria Korkman was a preschool teacher.

Jane:
The same preschool Steve Sanner was calling?

Frost:
Yeah. Counted three calls in the last week. He wanted to talk to her.

Jane:
Bad. I wonder why?

Maura:
Badly.

Jane:
I hate it when you correct me.

Maura:
Well, I hate when you forget about Mr. Adverb.

Maura:
I X-rayed her skeleton to make sure I hadn't missed any surgeries. And I found evidence of repetitive spiral fractures to both her wrists. At least three.

Jane:
So she's a battered spouse.

Maura:
Perhaps. But spiral fractures are also a common skiing injury in the lower leg due to the inflexibility of a boot...

Jane:
Maura, I don't think she's doing handstands in her ski boots.

Maura:
Probably not.

Rizzoli:
[watching Maura inspect the body] Never understood why guys would want to run into burning buildings.

Isles:
You …chase murderers.

Rizzoli:
Not if they're on fire.

Isles:
[smiles] Do you know why firefighters call their outfits 'bunker gear'?

Rizzoli:
Their 'outfits'? Yes, because they keep their 'outfits' next to their bunks.

Isles:
 : Darn. [beat] Hey, did you know that the first helmet was developed by luggage maker, Henry Gratacap?

Rizzoli:
Does your brain ever get tired?

Isles:
No, why?

Rizzoli:
Well just, with all the useless information…[off Maura's confused look]... No?

[Maura smiles, they get back to the investigation]

Isles:
[gestures to the computer screen] The soot buildup on the walls and windows, that's evidence of a low oxygen fire. But his face shield and lungs say it's a high oxygen fire….I wrote about this once in the journal of Combustible Science.

Rizzoli:
Yes. Fabulous article, loved the photos.

Isles:
[delighted look] I'll print it out for you.

Rizzoli:
M-Maura, look, why waste paper? I'll read it online.

Isles:
[stops smiling] You're not gonna read it.

Rizzoli:
 : No, probably not.

Isles:
[excited again] But, you are going to dinner with Gabriel.

Rizzoli:
How did you know I was going to dinner?

Isles:
You brushed your teeth.

Rizzoli:
I…I always…..brush my teeth. [beat] At work. Sometimes.

Isles:
I have a reservation at the Ivory Table. I could call, make it for four, we could double date?

Rizzoli:
Really? Why, who's your date?

Isles:
My mother.

Rizzoli:
Ah, so you, me, Gabriel...and your mother.

Isles:
mhm.

Rizzoli:
How could I say no?

Isles:
[turns around and glares at Jane] You're being sarcastic aren't you?

Rizzoli:
Very. If it was anyone but you I'd say it was the creepiest idea ever.

Jane:
Any idea what the shiv was made of?

Maura:
No. looks more like puncture wounds. The edges are surprisingly clean...something very sharp.

Man:
Like Jane.

Jane:
What the hell?!

Hoyt:
Do your hands hurt, Jane?

Jane:
No. It's like it never happened.