Roswell, Season Two

Max (voiceover):
Well, I guess the natural place to start is...that I'm an alien...a hybrid, actually. You know, human DNA mixed with alien DNA...that kind of thing. Oh, I almost forgot. My sister Isabel and our friend Michael are also a little green around the gills.

Maria:
who is that? She looks familiar?

Alex:
Vanessa Whitaker. She's our congresswoman.

Maria:
I gotta start reading the newspaper.

Maria:
Girlfriend, I know we bonded over the summer. But I'm not ready to show you the bod just yet.

Michael:
I thought we agreed that it was over between us.

Maria:
You agreed, and then you avoided me the entire summer.

Michael:
Well, it is.

Maria:
Why? 'Cause you're destined to be with Isabel?

Michael:
No. I don't buy that. Because I'm destined to be the soldier, and a soldier can't have some chick at home waiting for him.

Maria:
Michael, half the movies ever made are about soldiers with chicks waiting at home for them.

Michael:
Well, be that as it may...

Maria:
I miss you, Michael.

Michael:
I know, but don't.

Kyle:
Yeah. I just... I'm just not looking forward to dealing with all the little green men again.

Kyle:
Hey! This is my room & that's my jersey!

'Tess Sorry!

Kyle:
No. Alright. Wear it.

Tess:
kinda uptight about nudity for a guy who reads jugs.

Kyle:
gimme that!

Tess:
oh the post-its? Nice touch.

Kyle:
Ok, listen. I don't know how they do things on Planet Vulcan, or whatever. But here on Earth we have this primitive human concept called, privacy.

Tess:
Keep talking to me like that & I'll slag you with my death ray eyes.

Kyle:
*stares*

Tess:
Kidding. You Buddhists have like no sense of humor.

Kyle:
How do you know about that?

Tess:
Buddhism for Beginners is also under your bed. How do you think the Buddha would feel about being sandwiched between Hustler & Busty Biker Babes?

Kyle:
Look, you can't tell anyone about that.

Tess:
why?

Kyle:
because I have a certain reputation.

Tess:
which the less said the better?

Kyle:
I'm serious

Tess:
Kyle Valenti, Buddhist.

Kyle:
look, I got into it over the summer

Tess:
Oh! Football camp! Guys are crazy about-

Kyle:
Listen! This... this whole aliens-are-among-us thing... it really screwed me up... made me question stuff... life, reality, my place in this universe... and you don't understand. You... you guys... you people turned my life upside down. I need a little clarity. I need a little peace of mind.

Tess:
No, I don't understand. I'm a girl from another planet. No family, no friends. Only 3 other people like me in the world. And the man I grew up with...the man who raised me...he was just murdered. You're right, Kyle. What would I know about needing peace of mind?

Michael:
And if he kills you?

Max:
Then you can be fearless leader.

Brody:
Exactly. Do you know what this means, Max? Aliens. I mean, not like they're walking among us or anything stupid like that, but they're actually making contact with people right here in Roswell.

Max:
This isn't about Tess. It's about you and me. You think I'm gonna forget about you or get over it or something, but... but I'm not. I don't... I don't care about my destiny or my planet or anything else. All I care about is you. So just know this... I'm coming for you, Liz.

[Max walks back to the table.]

Maria:
Now that is a great man.

Alex:
: You know I can't believe you talked me into that. It was the most humiliating experience of my life. No one told me her parents were gonna be here. I did a striptease in front of her Mother. Are you listening to me?

Maria:
One nipple does not constitute a striptease, Alex.

Alex:
She saw my nipple?! OH GOD!

Courtney:
Chill out NYPD Blue

Alex':
Chill out? I spent $150 to rent this costume. And do you have any idea how it feels to walk around all day with a thong up your ass?

Courtney:
& :Maria: YES!

Hal:
They looked like human fetuses. There was 4 to a sac. 8 total. That night, I packed my things and never came back. The base was on full alert. There was no way anybody or anything else could have escaped...and that's the story of Hal Carver. The only time I ever stuck my neck out to save anything...and it all went to hell.

[Michael reaches out his hand and blows up the bottles from a distance]

Michael:
You saved me.

[He then turns to Hal who is having trouble lighting his cigarette. Michael creates a flame on his thumb. Hal and Michael hug]

Max:
You tried to get Tess and me together?

Liz:
Look, I know that you must hate me right now. I, um...

[Max grabs Liz and gives her a long, passionate kiss. There are image flashbacks.]

Max:
I felt that... and I know you did, too, and I know you think that... that I need to let you go... for the sake of Michael, and Isabel, and my race... so you went to Tess. But she can't be you. Tess can never be you.

Liz:
Do you know how hard it was for me to tell him that I didn't want to die for him? He's the only reason that I'm alive right now. You...you've...you gotta come up with another plan. Please go to someone else. I...I just...I can't do this anymore.

Future Max:
Just 25 minutes before I came here, I held Michael in my arms...dead. Isabel died 2 weeks before that. Now you have to do this. You have to find a way. All of our lives depend on it.

Liz:
How? What can I do that's gonna make you turn away from me?

Future Max:
I don't know.

Alex:
Do you have any idea what you've done to Maria?

Michael:
Dude, it was a misunderstanding.

Alex:
Look. I don't care that you've got 30 pounds on me or...or that you can kill me with some...some twisted alien power. I will not let you treat her like that. I...I don't care that Isabel treats me like crap, but no one does that to Maria, all right? She's not just some girl!

Max:
I can't help it. I love her. What can I say?

Maria:
You're hopeless.

Future Max:
I've fought a thousand battles...but watching you do that was the hardest thing I've ever had to do.

Liz:
The look on his face...on your face.

Future Max:
Maybe it's for the best. For you, too.

Liz:
What are you talking about?

Future Max:
I saw you with Kyle. He's turning out to be a...a great guy. Maybe it would be better for you to be with a human.

Liz:
Don't you realize what you are to me...and you're always gonna be? You're the love of my life. Everyone else is gonna be second best. There'll never be another you.

Tess:
so you & Kyle?

Liz:
yeah. Oh, Kyle told me you two were getting involved.

Tess:
its ok, don't worry about it.

Liz:
I'm sorry.

Tess:
About what? All you did was sleep with him. How was he anyway?

Liz:
oh.. I.. Um.. We... It was great.

Tess:
Noted.

Maria:
You look like you got your heart stomped out. No, wait...that would be me. Well, if it's possible, you look worse.

Michael:
That's the shirt I lost at work. What the hell is this?

Maria:
It's Graceland...and you're Elvis.

Maria:
So how does electricity work?

Kyle:
Why are you lookin' at me? We were both in the same remedial science class for 3 years.

Maria:
Ok, we've got ginko, bee pollen, echinacea, C, D, E, calcium, St.John's wort , and pamprin... What? I was dating Michael Guerin.

Maria:
It's a $100 tip!

Brody:
Honestly? It's Ben Franklin. I can't stand the man.

Isabel:
I know my brother, and I know that if there is one voice he will hear no matter where he is, no matter what he's doing, it's yours. Take my hand, Liz.

Isabel:
Actually I think Maria would find it in her heart to forgive you for exceeding the price limit, though there would be hell to pay if you gave the girl you love an electric toothbrush for Christmas. You're better off getting her no gift at all.

Michael:
No. I tried the "no present" idea last year. It didn't work.

Isabel:
You know, is it too much to ask that one day a year, I can be like a normal human being with a normal life and have a merry Christmas?!?

Michael:
Hey, we're here for a reason, Max. So call me a selfish jerk, but I don't think we should risk everything just so you can feel a little bit better about yourself at Christmas. It's 3 against 1. I'm voted down anyway.

Max:
Michael.

Michael:
You made your decision before you walked through that door. I know you did. I could hear it in your voice, so why don't you just go do what you're gonna do... and make sure you don't screw up.

Liz:
As beautiful as that is, Max... you can't keep doing it. I know it seems like there's no reason for those kids to have cancer or for a father to get killed saving his child or for any of it... but maybe there is. Maybe there is someone or something out there that's planning all of this, and maybe you have to respect it. You're not God, Max. You're the one that told me that.

Liz:
I thought you didn't believe in God.

Max:
I believe in you. [grabs Liz's hand and squeezes it tightly.]

Maria:
Okay, okay, you're a Max-aholic. I'm here for you. What can I do?

Liz:
Get me a life.

Kyle:
Look we're getting off the point. I really need some help.

Tess:
what do you want from me? I don't know what's gonna happen to you. Maybe nothing will. Or maybe you could develop super powers & start flying around Roswell in a big cape. *laughs* I don't know!

Max:
Everyone we touch gets hurt in some way or another. 5 years from now, I don't want you to open your eyes and realize that...that you missed out. You're part of the group. You always will be. But you need to be allowed to...to grow.

Liz:
Why can't you come with me?

Max:
Because I can't. But I'll be watching you, Liz Parker. Wherever you go...and I'll be here when you get back.

Maria:
Pretty weird, huh? Michael, have you ever even thought of the possibility that this guy more than just looks like you? Like he is you. Like your donor. Like your human side is him. Which means in some weird and twisted way, that he and his relatives are like your family.

Maria:
Look, you wanna know why you look like Grandpa 1935? She has the key. So, you have two choices, all right? You can let her in on the whole alien conspiracy thing and hope that it shakes something loose from the dusty corners of her brain, or you can... No. You know what? That's not gonna work, so look... You have that one option, all right?

Michael:
No, no, no. What's my second option?

Maria:
You're not capable of it, I promise.

Michael:
Just say it.

Maria:
Form an emotional bond with Laurie. (Michael shakes his head) All right, fine. You don't like that answer, then go show her the secret alien handshake.

Michael:
(sighs) Okay, fine. What kind of psychobabble, Oprah crap do I gotta tell her?

Maria:
I can't put the words in your mouth, Michael. It's gotta come from you. It's gotta come from your-- it's gotta come from whatever organ you have sitting in for your heart. Just go over there and tell her in your own words that she can trust you, and make sure that she feels that you're being completely, emotionally honest.

Michael:
Look, Laurie, I know a lot of people think you're pretty crazy. But the truth is, knowing everything you've been through, you seem pretty normal to me. I just want you to know that whatever you are to me-- a sister, a cousin, whatever-- you're the only family I've ever known, and I just found you. I don't... I don't want to let you go. I know you're scared to death of me, but... if you could find some way to trust me... I mean, I got all kinds of faults. And this one over here, you know (gestures to Maria) she can list them off for you if you want later on, but... the one thing I am is loyal. I will not turn my back on you. That's all I got to say. I don't know.

Amy DeLuca:
Michael, I want you to listen to me very, very carefully. On this glorious, rebellious, lost weekend of yours, you will take care of my daughter. You will protect her and be kind to her, and she will have fun. You will not get matching tattoos, and you will not allow her to pierce any part of her body that cannot be shown in polite company. [Sniffles] And, Michael, if you have sex with my daughter, I will hunt you down and kill you like the mangy dog you are. Okay?

Michael:
Okay.

Amy DeLuca:
Call me if you need bail money.

Maria:
What'd she say?

Michael:
[Sighs] She wants you to have fun.

Michael:
If it was me, I'd tell us to get screwed and call the cops anyways.

Maria:
That's 'cause you don't have any money Michael. People who do tend to get a little nervous when it's threatened.

Kyle:
What do you suppose alien crystals are going for on eBay?

Michael:
Nightmares, Maxwell. I can't shake them. I've had them every night for two weeks. I mean my brain needs a vacation, or I swear to God I'm going to lose it on someone or something, and it's not gonna to be pretty.

Michael:
Hey! I've been going through some heavy stuff the last couple of weeks. In case you missed it, I got shot.

Max:
I know, I healed you.

Michael:
You put your hand over my shoulder and you did your little trick like a robot. You're a machine, Max. You wouldn't know the first thing about what it takes to heal me. To really heal me.

Jim Valenti:
So you skipped school. Missing class is excusable if it involves saving a planet-- yours, mine, or any other. It is not acceptable if it is done in the name of under-age gambling. Is that clear?

Michael:
Just kill me now. I don't do proms. I don't believe in them.

Maria:
You don't believe in them?!

Michael:
The whole thing is totally bogus. It's completely unnatural.

Maria:
You know what? I, I find it to be really unnatural that you're half alien warrior and half Grandpa Dupree! But I make do.

Liz (on her journal):
We try to live responsible logical lives, but we can't tell our hearts what to feel. Sometimes our hearts lead us to places we never thought we wanted to go, and sometimes our hearts can be the sweetest gentlest things we have. Sometimes our hearts can make us feel miserable anger, excited and confused all at once. But at least my heart is open, and I'm writing again. I'm feeling. I'm breathing.

Max:
You can't compare The Matrix to Crouching Tiger.

Michael:
Crapping Tiger is a chick flick with kung-fu.

Diane:
Oh, honey. I wish -- I wish I had some kind of special powers or something to make all of this go away for you.

Isabel:
Special powers don't help.

Maria:
If you're here to trash-talk, I'm gonna have to take a rain check, 'cause that is the only way I'm gonna get through a simple school day without losing it, all right?

Tess:
You're scared to go home.

Max:
What is home? Is home really up there? I just feel like this whole idea about where we come from, and I want to believe it. I want to understand it more and more, but it just feels like this dream... this, this dream that I can never really quite touch or see or...feel. And earth just seems so much more... real.

Max:
Michael. The idea that Alex might have died just because we're here... I can't bear it. All those times you would run off chasing some clue to find out where we come from. Why we're here. Where we belong. I always thought you were chasing something that wasn't out there, because in my heart, I believed that we belonged here, you know? That we were human. Lately, I've been thinking that you might have been right all along.

Michael:
Lately, I've been thinking I might have been wrong all along.

Maria:
I can't count on you.

Michael:
Yes, you can. I'll take care of this. I mean, I'm right here for you.

Maria:
But you won't always be.

Michael:
What?

Maria:
One day you're gonna leave me. You're gonna get on a spaceship and go away, and you being the perfect boyfriend right now is really not helping me. I can't lose anyone else, Michael. My heart can't handle it.

Liz:
That was weird.

Michael:
What was?

Liz:
Maria just hung up on me.

Michael:
Happens to me all the time.

Max:
I always thought when we graduated I would give you my ring. [handing her the pendant they found at Atherton's] It looks like I won't graduate, so this is something from where I'll be.

Liz:
I can't believe that this is what I have of you. I can't believe that after everything...

Max:
Liz, you never slept with Kyle, did you?

[Liz shakes her head no.]

Max:
I wish, I wish this all could have been different. I wish that so much. [kisses her]

Liz:
I guess that this is our goodbye. Just tell me one thing: do you love her?

Max:
Not like I love you.

Isabel:
What if I said I wanted to stay?

Max:
When we came out of the pods and we lost Michael, it was just the two of us in the desert and I knew that I wasn't alone, that I had my sister. To me, earth isn't home and whatever's out there isn't home, but you're my home.

Michael:
There's a lot about you, Maria. There's a lot about you, but I think what means the most to me is that you're open. You know I can look into your eyes and I can see you. I can see what you're thinking. I can see what you're feeling. How much I mean to you sometimes, how much I piss you off sometimes. But I can always see you.

Maria:
I see you, too.

Michael:
No, no you don't see me. You know when Max and Liz would kiss, and Liz would get the flashes? And when we would kiss, you didn't. I know how much that hurt you.

Maria:
That doesn't matter to me any more, Michael.

Michael:
The reason you didn't get the flashes is because I didn't let you get them. I didn't let you see me. I've never let anyone see me before... because there are things inside of me that I don't want people to see. There's things inside of me that I'm not so proud of. But I've thought about it, and I want you to see me.

Michael:
Max... I can't go. Ever since we came out of the pods, I've been on some quest to figure out where I belong. I finally found home. The weird thing is, it's here, it's on earth.

Max:
[to Liz] I've been really wrong about a lot. But I was right about one thing: To get you into my life, to be around you, to love you.