Rugrats, Season 1

[Cut back to the TV, where the fishing show breaks for a chicken commercial]

Chareen:
[on TV] Hi, I'm Chareen for Squeaky Chicken Restaurants. [cut back to Grandpa, who gets up from his chair to, shall we say, "take care of personal business"] Want to know what we got in store for you? Our new Chicken Half-Pounder!

Grandpa:
Well, nature beckons.

Chareen:
[voice only, on TV] The other guys only give you a third of a pound in their chicken sandwich, and, yeech, that's without Squeaky's special sauce. So come on in now and try our new Chicken Half-Pounder! It's more chickenny! And for a limited time only...

[As the commercial continues above, Tommy puts the spent toilet paper and the plunger aside. Grandpa, meanwhile, offstage, gets a surprise of his life]

Stu:
Good morning, Champ.

[Tommy opens his eyes. He is in his crib as Stu and Didi hang a banner that says, HAPPY BIRTHDAY in yellow letters on it]

Stu and Didi:
Happy Birthday, Tommy.

[Stu blows a noisemaker and throws confetti, which lands on Tommy, who is wearing a red shirt rather than the light blue one he would wear later throughout the series]

Didi:
You're a whole year old today.

Stu:
And boy, have we got some great presents for you. [Tommy giggles as Didi picks him up. Didi then kisses him on his forehead. Tommy giggles as Didi lays him down on his changing table. She pulls up his shirt, and untapes Tommy's dirty diaper. Tommy coos as Didi changes his diaper] Wait til' he sees my present, Didi. Did I tell you about the Hoverama prototype?

Didi:
Uh-huh, you did, Stu.

Stu:
Picture this, Didi. The body's thirty-six inches long and about four feet diameter and... [before he can finish, Didi lifts Tommy's legs] Yikes!

Didi:
Oh, just put it in the pail, Stu, and hand me a fresh diaper!

[Tommy cries, and the camera zooms in on his mouth. Stu hears the crying and turns his attention to it, as do Lou and Minka. Howard hears the crying, then looks at Angelica, who innocently pretends not to. Didi runs up to Tommy]

Didi:
What's wrong, Tommy? What happened? [picks up Tommy and coos at him] Oh, boo-boo, what's the matter, baby? [as she lifts Tommy up, Tommy sees his ball behind the fence in a neighbor's yard. A light shines on the ball as the camera zooms in on it, then Tommy stops crying] All better now.

Mr. Mucklehoney:
I'm so hungry, I could eat a hog, head first!

Student:
[after seeing Tommy's dirty diaper] Wow! That is one bodacious load!

Tommy:
Whoa! Oh! [Spike (with the help of the babies’ weight shifted to the side of the playpen) also tips the playpen onto it’s side and this knocks the babies out - the babies now free, he releases the toy and Spike runs off with it. Chuckie, Phil and Lil lie on the ground] Wow! Moose country.

[Chuckie, thinking for a moment that Tommy was referring to the insect from earlier that’s now on the ground next to him]

Didi:
Oh, Betty, that was Mr. Fluffles, Tommy's favorite lamp. [Tommy cries] There, there sweetie.

[At the Clam Canyon, Tommy and Angelica eat ice cream while Stu and Didi split a bucket of clams]

Stu:
This food was worth the whole trip.

Didi:
I'll say, you never know where you'll find good seafood.

Tommy:
You know, Angelica, this Clam Canyon is great but I think I had more fun at the Graham Canyon.

Angelica:
It's Grand Canyon. [to Cynthia] Cynthia, it's impossible to teach babies anything.