Rugrats, Season 9

[The episode starts with a leaf falling down to the picnic table. Betty walks up to the table. Camera pans right to Chaz, who is making the salad. The wind blows it away]

Drew:
Do you think it's too late in the season for this, bro?

Stu:
Come on. Scared of a little wind? [He laughed]

[Howard just dropped a bun to the bottom of the picnic table. Phil grabs the bun. Cut to the babies]

Tommy:
I like making barbecues. Especially when you play in your food.

Lil:
Pass the potato bug salad, Chuckie.

Chuckie:
Coming right up. We're not going to eat you.

Phil:
I am. Mmm. Delicious.

[Angelica takes the bug burger from Phil, she screamed. The babies laughed]

Lulu:
They have a club somewhere across the Caribbean.

Miriam:
And not just the Caribbean. Club Fred!

Betty:
Club Fred? Hey, I heard of that place. Traded very fancy.

Stu:
You mean traded very expensive.

Lou:
And look what it cost. It's 100% free.

Stu:
It's not free. It's says two for one coupons.

Drew:
One senior will each pay with adult admission.

Miriam:
It's the best of them all.

Lulu:
You said it, sister. It'll be a swell vacation.

Stu:
Vacation from what? You're all retired.

Miriam:
They said it's Club Fred. So they allow elders.

Tommy:
You hear that, guys? We're going on vacation!

Didi:
Club Fred? That sounds like fun.

[The chef hat is blown from Stu's head]

Stu:
Aw, What the hey?

Betty:
You hear that, pups? We're going on vacation. THAT MEANS FUN, FUN, FUN!!!

[Cut to a plane flying to the mentioned location. At Club Fred, they are dropped off to the entrance]

Kira:
[admiring] Oh, so beautiful!

[The others walk in]

Angelica:
What's this vacation gonna be like, Mommy?

Charlotte:
It's a club full of people and have helpers to get us whatever we want.

[She gives the luggage to one of them. They walk with the others]

Charlotte:
You don’t think we’re being too harsh on her do you?

Drew:
Are you kidding? Have you seen what she charged?

[Dil hits the plug, loosening it, and causing it to reset the game]

Dragon:
You have won credit. Not nearly enough to defeat Dragon! [laughs evilly]

Kimi:
Look! Drago has babies!

Chuckie:
Yeah, and they all need a time-out!

Kimi:
[really fast] Wow! I can go real fast now! Don't worry, guys! I'll stop those dragons and everything will be okay! Bye-bye! Whee-hee-hee-hee!

[Kimi runs through two of Dragon's Children, destroying them, then onto the ceiling]

Chuckie:
Kimi! We're not allowed to run on the ceiling!

[Kimi loses her newfound speed and falls]

Dragon:
You will never get her back!

[Chuckie shudders in fear]

Dragon:
Unless you insert another token.

Tommy:
[He has grown to an enormous size, and has defeated Dragon's children] Giant Tommy's coming to save you, Taffy! [he suddenly shrinks back to his normal size] Uh, regular-sized Tommy's still coming to save you, Taffy! [He runs towards Taffy, but Dragon drops an egg on him, causing him to shrink down to the size of a mouse. Kimi runs towards him. in a high-pitched voice] Uh, really really small Tommy thinks he should probably run by now!

Kimi:
I got you, teeny-tiny Tommy! [She picks up Tommy, and as she runs away with him, Tommy grows back to his normal size, causing Kimi to fall over]

[Scene starts in the Pickles' yard:
Tommy and Spike are playing tug-o'-war with a rubber frog while the other babies surround him. Didi enters the house. Tommy falls over, having won, and Spike walks off]

Kimi:
Good job, Tommy. You're a great tugger.

[Tommy gets up, Spiffy and Dil are playing their own tug-o'-war game]

Lil:
Dil's good at it too.

[Spiffy wins]

Phil:
Maybe not.

Chuckie:
Poor Dilly. He's not strong enough for tuggy-war.

Dil:
[squealed] Wee-hee-hee!

Tommy:
I guess he's just not strong enough to have fun like we do.

Phil:
Yeah, he's not big and powerful like us! [poses like a superhero]

Lil:
Maybe we could make him strong like Phil.

[Spiffy tackles Phil and licks his face]

Phil:
[getting up after Spiffy runs off] Yeah, we could feed him bugs! I gots a diapie full and they're bursting with power!

[Spiffy runs around with the toy frog]

Tommy:
Dil's not much of a bug-eater.

Phil:
More for me. [takes a worm from his diaper and tries to it]

Tommy:
Wait! I have the perfect thing! Come on!

Tommy:
No, it's for Dil! We gots to wash all the baby power off! Come on, pass it down! [passes it to Phil, who passes it to Lil, who passes it to Chuckie, who passes it to Kimi, who walks over to Dil and pours it on him]

[Dil busts out crying]

Chuckie:
Oh no, he's cryin'! He's gonna shake everything again! [holds his helmet]

Lil:
Wait! It's not shaken!

Kimi:
We washed the power off! Tommy, you're the smartest.

[another earthquake starts]

Lil:
Uh-oh. Now, you're dumb again.

Didi:
[entering] It's OK, Dil. Mommy's coming. Oh, your diaper is wet, sweetums. And so's your head?! [wipes water off his head with her hand] Boy! When you have to go, you have to go! [picks Dil up]

Tommy:
Dil has to go and it's all 'cause of me!

Lil:
How come washing Dilly's power off didn't work?

Tommy:
Must've already rubbed in.

Kimi:
Well, maybe we could keep him from using his powers.

Tommy:
That's it! We'll just make sure he doesn't move around! Ever!

All:
Yeah!

Stu:
Don't worry, Deed. It's easy as pie. To open, simply tug gently on the Velcro side and [tries to open one but fails] Ya just tug gently and--[falls over, breaking the strap and knocking the drawer out]

Didi:
Oh, Stu. I hope you didn't put these anyplace else. [looks shocked as there are some in the living room]

[the babies go outside]

Chuckie:
What are we going to do? The Dummi Bears didn't work!

Kimi:
[shaking her head] Taking the rattle didn't work.

Lil:
Water didn't work.

Tommy:
[stops pushing Dil's stroller] I gots a idea! After my daddy mows the lawn, he can't even lift his finger! Maybe that will work for Dil!

Kimi:
That's a great idea Tommy, except Dil can't mow! He can't even walk.

Tommy:
He can if we help him.

[Chuckie and the twins cheer, then the babies all push Dil's stroller and the toy lawnmower and the wagon with the dogs in, who eventually run away]

Lil:
Dilly's not tired at all.

Kimi:
And now he's making funny sounds. [referring to his stomach growling]

Tommy:
He's gonna poop! Run for your lives! [He hides in the sand box, Phil hides in a bush, Chuckie hides behind the sand box, the girls hide behind a tree, Dil farts, everyone comes out of their hiding places]

Chuckie:
Hey, nothing shaked!

Tommy:
Maybe the mowing worked.

All:
Yay!

[the parents come outside]

Stu:
Well, I think the shaking stopped, Deed.

Didi:
That's a relief. Now, maybe we could put away some of your safety equipment? I mean I'm all for being prepared, Stu, but I'd like to return to normal.

Stu:
What's not normal?...You're right, Deed, maybe I did go a bit far. [takes helmet off Lil] I need to come up with a simple approach. Like instant airbags that deploy at the slightest hint of motion!

Didi:
[removes Kimi's helmet as Phil removes his] At least nothing exploded this time.

Tommy:
We did it, guys. Sorry I gave you too much power, Dilly. And I'm pretty sure you're back to Norman now! Of course, there's only one way to be sure. [has Spiffy and Dil play tug-o'-war with the frog, Spiffy wins] Yup, Dilly's out of power!

Betty:
[laughs] Imagine, Deed. Your great aunt was my twins mother. Gee, we're close sisters! And they have twins the same age as Phil and Lil!

Didi:
Isn't that wonderful?

Betty:
Phil and Lil, guess what? You have twins cousins! Hedley and Smeldey! And they're coming from across the ocean!

Tommy:
Wow! You have cousbins!

Lil:
I don't know why they're from the ocean.

Kimi:
Maybe they're fishies.

Chas:
This is Chuckie and Kimi. Have guys have fun, ta-da. [He walks away along with Didi]

Phil:
Sorry, we weren't perfect twins Lil.

Lil:
I thinks we can be perfect for each other, even if you are a bit of a nutter.

Phil:
Am not Lillian!

Lil:
Are too Phillip!

Phil:
Am not!

Lil:
Are too!

[Phil and Lil continue to argue. The camera zooms inside Lil's screaming mouth, ending the episode]

Didi:
Hello, Angelica.

Angelica:
Merry, Christmas, Aunt Didi! I being a very good girl so that Santa will give me lots of presents.

Howard:
We gotta get outta here!

Kira:
GET A GRIP, HOWARD!

Angelica:
Merry Christmas, Babies!

[Angelica peered through the window at Santa's workshop before then opening the door, only for it to be jammed tight, so she made a runner to break the door down and entered in. She looked around at the elves at work, but was then called by one with great importance to his work]

Hermie:
Little girl! Santa is not going to be pleased when he sees what you've done to his door!

Angelica:
What, it was like that!

[She was barred from going any further]

Hermie:
May I ask what you're doing here?

Angelica:
Oh! I'm here to collect the presents that Santa was supposed to get me before he quit.

Hermie:
And how do you know you were getting any presents, pray tell?

Angelica:
I know because I have been good all year. And if it hadn't have been for those dumb babies, I would have been even nicer.

Hermie:
[He looked very suspicious as he went over to his desk and got out The Book of Good Children] Is that so? Well, let's just see if you are on the list then. Name?

Angelica:
Angelica Pickles. [The book opened with a lot of dust poofing out as Hermie began looking through the pages] Ick!

Hermie:
Pickles, Pickles, Pickles... Ah-ha! "Tommy Pickles". "Dil Pickles"... Just as I thought! There's no "Angelica Pickles" on the list.

[He closed the book and put it away, with Angelica becoming very annoyed]

Angelica:
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M NOT ON THE LIST?! Listen elf, I have been looking so hard for this place, and I'm not leaving till I get my Christmas presents!

Hermie:
Well, maybe you should have thought about that before you started stealing those cookies and scaring those carolers away... and lie to your friends.

Angelica:
[Then she became suspicious] Wait... I thought Santa was supposed to know if I was bad or good?

Hermie:
[He picked up the letters] Santa delegates.

Angelica:
What's that mean?

Hermie:
It means I'm overworked and underpaid! Now, if you excuse us, we've got to get back to work! Better luck next year.

Angelica:
But what about my Christmas presents?

Hermie:
You have to take that up with the supervisor. [He pointed her to the portrait of Santa]

Angelica:
But I've already talked to him, and all he gave me was this dumb-old Reindeer. [She looked at her pockets only to find Prancy wasn't there. But then she was confronted by a real Reindeer with a resemblance that Angelica recognized] Prancy? Prancy, you're alive!

Prancy:
[He walked sadly away from her] I thought we were friends.

Angelica:
But we are.

Prancy:
Then why did you call me dumb?

Angelica:
I dunno, I call a lot of things dumb. It's not that I mean it or anything.

Hermie:
[He then began to escort Prancy away from Angelica] Come Prancy, I take you back to Santa.

Angelica:
Prancy, no! I'm sorry I called you dumb, come back!

Hermie:
[He then turned and reflected her with a question] Why'd you say to Tommy that if Dil never got a Christmas present this year, then he will never have a Christmas for the rest of his life, huh?

Angelica:
I had to do something. He was being a goody two-shoes.

Hermie:
[He then began ascending the stairs] I'm sorry to be the one to say this, Angelica, but here in Christmas Land, there is not place for kids like you.

Angelica:
But I wanna be in Christmas Land.

Chas:
You shouldn't be out here, Chuckie. You're not a clown.

Chuckie:
[looks at the mirror] I'm not a clown? I'm not a clown!

Lil:
I want a feel specially special, too!

Kira:
One mega-frothy mocca-cherra.

Chas:
And one biscotti coming up.

Tommy:
[He and the Finster kids are in a playpen, eating cookies and drinking out of sippy cups] Mmm! I love your mommy and daddy's coffee shop! They gots extra big cookies here!

Chuckie:
Yeah, they look funny but they taste good.

Kimi:
And you can play choo-choo with them. [pretends her biscuit is a train] Choo-choo! [giggles]

Chuckie:
There's gotta be another test. Right, Angelica?

Angelica:
No! I Quit! [she slips in a mud puddle]

Chuckie:
What's a baby sale, Tommy?

Tommy:
It's where they sell babies and stuffs, Chuckie.

Kimi:
Ooh! I want that one!

Phil:
Smells good and stinky!

Angelica:
Get me out of here! Somebody help!

Chuckie:
Happy Birthday, Kimi!