Saved by the Bell

Mr. Belding:
Hey, hey, hey. *What* is going *on* here?

Zack:
I like school... it's a good way to kill time between weekends.

Zack:
You know, I've finally found out the best thing about high school, once you graduate you don't have to come back.

Slater:
What, no rose for me, preppie? And I thought we were real close.

Zack:
Slater, face it. It's over.

Lisa:
If you don't get rid of Linda, I'm gonna throw her out the winda.

Jessie:
I have had it with Eric. He took my TV, my hairdryer and my room. I am in crisis.

Kelly:
You sound like you're on 'Thirtysomething.'

Lisa:
Yeah, 'I have all these problems and there's no-one ever there for me. I talk and talk and talk but no-one ever listens.

Jessie:
If any of you sweeties dares bid on my Slater I'll hunt you down in the street like a rabid dog.

Jessie:
Your understanding of politics is limited to who won the election on 'Sesame Street'.

Lisa:
Girl, if I were Leslie I woulda slapped you until my hand hurt, and then I woulda slapped you for making it hurt.

Kelly:
Who are you?

Screech:
Oh, I'm, uh, I'm- Sinead O'Connor.

Kelly:
That's a very famous name. You have a hit song in the charts, you know...?

Screech:
Oh, uh, that's the other O'Connor. She's my niece. She learned from me.

Lisa:
You taught her everything she knows?

Screech:
Oh, that I did. Now she can clean toilets with the best of 'em.

Jessie:
Slater, since we're together, I think we should share the household chores.

Slater:
Sure, you cook and I'll eat.

Mr. Belding:
Zack, just because you always park your car in that same spot, does not mean it's official.

Zack:
Then make it official, just like my seat in detention.

Jessie:
You macho pig.

Slater:
Oink oink, baby.

Slater:
You are a very strange person.

Screech:
[flattered] Well, thanks for noticing.

[Jessie and Slater are at war with each other]

Mr. Belding:
I wanna know what's going on right now.

Jessie:
[pointing to Slater] Ask brillo-head, he started it.

Mr. Belding:
Well, Brillo-He - I mean, Slater...

Slater:
Ok, Preppie. While you're treading cola, Kelly and I are going to the beach.

Zack:
Kelly, this news disappoints me verily! I thought you and I could go over some more lines from "Romeo and Juliet".

Kelly:
Oh that's a good idea, Zack. Sorry, Slater.

Slater:
What? I don't believe this. You'd rather study than go to the beach?

Zack:
Parting is such sweet sorrow... chump.

Slater:
Hey, mama, wanna have a burger with a real man?

Jessie:
Sure, I'll go find one.

Slater:
What's the matter, Dad?

Slater:
My C.O. went A.W.O.L. with a G.L. from the P.X. I gotta go A.S.A.P. C U, A.C.

Zack:
You guys sound like an eye chart.

Mr. Belding:
Go to class, learn something.

Screech:
Hey, ya know what, Slater? With this microscope, your nose hairs look like the Amazon Rain Forest.

Slater:
If you don't get that thing out of my face, I'm gonna have the Natives come out and eat you.

Zack:
Lisa, you are looking lovelier than ever today.

Lisa:
Can the sweet talk. You're giving me a zit.

Kelly:
Jessie, let's go to the lost and found.

Jessie:
Why?

Kelly:
Because you've lost it.

Zack:
Maybe we could sell Screech to Exxon.

Slater:
Nah, they'd never buy a geek that doesn't squeak.

Jessie:
Do you realize we haven't argued for 15 seconds?

Slater:
It was 20, shut up.

Mr. Belding:
Zack, I am not a matador so take the bull outside.

[Screech is walking scrunched down near the floor]

Zack:
I'm sorry you were stuck in the file cabinet for so long.

Screech:
That's okay, just paint me blue and call me a Smurf.

Kelly:
[talking about Slater's dancing] Wow Slater, that was hot!

Zack:
Ha ha. Are you kidding? I moved better last summer when a bee flew in my shorts.

Louise:
Would you ever go steady with a guy named Moose?

Lisa:
Why not, you could always hang your coat on his antlers.

Lisa:
Some people get a little strange when it's time to see Nurse Butcher.

Jessie:
Not me, I'm in perfect health. I eat properly, exercise daily, get the right amount of rest.

Slater:
You sound like a commercial for Oat Bran.

Lisa:
What's wrong Kelly?

Kelly:
Men, especially Zack Morris.

Slater:
Hey, don't judge us by our worst specimen.

Jessie:
Eh, I hate coffee. Suzy, can I have another cup please?

Zack:
So why are you drinking it?

Screech:
What else is she gonna do with the coffee Zack?

Zack:
Use your head as a donut and dunk you in it.

Screech:
No way, my head would never fit in the cup.

Slater:
[talking to Jessie] Guys are great at math. It's just a shame you weren't born a man.

Jessie:
Yeah, it's a shame you weren't born one either.

Kelly:
She's my friend... but not my best friend. Actually, I hardly even know her.

Screech:
I'm leaving, too! I'll send for my ant farm.

Lisa:
Screech, stop and smell the roses.

Screech:
Oh, I smelled the roses once and a bee flew up my nose!

Screech:
Oh no, Zack! Last time you had an idea, I wound up naked in a jar full of jellybeans!

Jessie - Zack, I’m sorry, but I just do not approve of that behavior.

Slater - Well then send me to my room, mama!

Zack:
Did anyone notice anything strange or weird about Kelly at "The Max"?

Screech:
Well yeah she's a waitress now.."

Zack:
I knew that noodlehead...It's just weird. I feel like I am getting the cold shoulder.

Screech:
Sounds like the flu to me I'd wear a turtleneck tomorrow.

Slater:
*throws towel over shoulder* You are a strange and weird person.

Screech:
*Flattered* Well thanks for noticing