Skins, Series 5

[After Mini and her friends join Franky at lunch]

Mini:
Haven't seen you around Bristol. How come you started so late?

Franky:
I kind of, like, moved here.

Mini:
From where?

Franky:
Oxford.

Mini:
Understandable. But why?

Franky:
[standing up] Look, if you are going to start shit now, then please could you get it over with, because I've had enough grief before, and I...

Mini:
[confused] "Start shit?"

Liv:
What grief?

Grace:
Before, like, Oxford, or past life before? Because I had a dream two Sundays ago that I was a slave actually working on a plantation and...

Mini and Liv:
[in unison] Shut up, Grace.

[A hysterical Franky is in a secluded area. Matty approaches. She hears him, whirls around and takes aim with a revolver]

Franky:
[Tearfully] Go! Go away, please. [He turns, but then walks over to her] I said "Go away"!

Matty:
Is it real?

Franky:
Do you want to find out!? It's a re-drilled replica. It shoots bullets, okay!?

Matty:
[noticing the pictures behind her] Bullets for bitches?

Franky:
What?

Matty:
Is this how you have fun?

Franky:
Can you just leave me alone?

[He casually approaches her, so the gun is right on his heart]

Matty:
Go on, then.

Franky:
I don't have to take this shit anymore.

Matty:
No, you don't. Bang! [she is startled. He looks her up and down] You're beautiful.

Franky:
No. No, I'm not. I'm... I'm a no-good shit magnet. I'm... I'm nothing.

Matty:
So why do I see a... glorious f***ing head-f*** thing?

[He turns and walks away]

Franky:
Who are you? Don't...

Matty:
See you around. Remember to aim straight for the heart, next time.

[He smiles at her and leaves]

Alo:
I'm never gonna get laid if you keep being such a douche to all the dames we meet.

Rich:
That's because all the girls we meet are always assholes.

Alo:
I don't care if they're one-legged, dead hermaphrodites. I need some sex!

Grace:
Opposites attract.

Rich:
That's magnets. We're people.

[Rich is sitting alone in a pub. Grace, dressed as a metalhead, comes to his table]

Grace:
Shove up.

Rich:
Sorry, someone's sitting here.

Grace:
Oh yeah, who?

Rich:
[looks up, notices Grace, and grins] You? Wha-

Grace:
I'm Sub; short for Sub Rosa. Nice to meet you.

Rich:
Hey, "Sub". I'm Rich.

[Grace and Rich drink their pints in one go]

Grace:
So... what do you do for fun, Rich?

Rich:
Uh... listen to music, go to gigs, hang out with my mate Alo. That's about it, really.

Grace:
You don't have any other friends? Just this "Alo" guy?

Rich:
Yeah, just him, really.

Grace:
No-one else?

Rich:
Well, recently, there's been a couple of other people... this girl, Franky, and... others.

Grace:
Others?

Rich:
Well, there's this girl who's been helping me, I suppose. Okay, what sort of music are you into, "Sub"?

Grace:
Well, you know, industrial, mostly. Godflesh, early Scorn, TKK.

Rich:
Nine Inch Nails?

Grace:
F*** off! Trent Reznor can suck my cock! [beat] This girl, then, who's helping you. What do you think of her?

Rich:
Honestly?

Grace:
Honestly.

Rich:
She's alright, but she lets people walk all over her, and her friends treat her like shit and she doesn't say a word.

Grace:
Maybe she knows her friends love her?

Rich:
Maybe she's got no f***ing self-respect.

Grace:
You think you know me, Rich. No-one f***ing knows me. Not you, not Mini, not Liv. No-one's got a f***ing clue what I am or what I can do.

Jemima:
You've gained 57 grams.

Mini:
Wait, um...

[Mini begins taking off accessories and gets back on scale]

Jemima:
32 grams.

[Mini keeps taking off clothes]

Jemima:
Mini! It's not on. Let me impart a phrase that I apply to most situations in life: Good girls don't swallow.

Liv:
Keep it simple. No future, no names, no touching. This is not a hook-up. I've got interpersonal issues. And syphilis. And the reason I chose you is 'cos you're little, and I do karate. This is, like, a one-day-only deal. And if I see you on the street tomorrow, I am going to blank you, so don't get weepy about it.

Maude:
You're a crap shit.

Liv:
Doesn't sound right when you swear.

Maude:
It doesn't sound right when you try to be cool. You're not cool. And I am swearing now, because you let me down. So deal with that, f***teeth.

Nick:
This Friday, there are gonna be thirty men on that pitch. Fifteen of them are gonna be winners. Fifteen of them are gonna be bitches. Which do you wanna be?

Team:
Winners!

Nick:
Damn right! Because this is a team of winners. And we're not gonna allow ourselves to fail. Because failure's a... giant bitch with sharp claws. We're gonna gang rape failure, we're gonna hold it down and we're gonna-

Coach Pooter:
Nick, Nick. I think you've taken that metaphor far enough.

Leon:
Just you remember. Every move you make. Every step you take. I'll be watching you.

Matty:
Isn't that the Police?

Alo:
So you were homeless?

Matty:
More on the move.

Grace:
It must have been really hard.

Matty:
Nah. After the first few blow jobs, you get used to the taste, and then it's pretty lucrative, really.

Nick:
Isn't this wicked? the Bloods and the Cripples together at last. You get me?

Grace:
What's he talking about?

Rich:
Nick's suggesting that we're a bunch of cripples, and that he and Mini are similar to a black, violent L.A. street gang.

Coach Pooter:
You're gonna run away, is that it?

Nick:
I'm not running away!

Coach Pooter:
Yes, you are. It's all very well. Seeing an injustice, Nick, that's the easy part. What you do next is the hard part. It defines a man.

Nick:
I can't be happy in that house, coach!

Coach Pooter:
You wanna be happy? That it, ja?

Nick:
Yeah!

Coach Pooter:
[picking up a picture of Nelson Mandela] Do you know who this is?

Nick:
Yeah, of course, but...

Coach Pooter:
He's a happy man. Yeah? Respected. Everybody loves Madiba. He's fair, and peaceful, and friendly. But when he was your age, he was a right angry f***er. Furious, ja? He blew things up, fought and fought and fought against the shit he came up against. He never ran away. They had to lock the bastard away, to try to stop him. And even then, he fought.

Nick:
I don't know what you're saying.

Coach Pooter:
I'm saying I thought you were stronger than someone who runs, Nick.

Alo:
I know they're being shitty, but I can't just wreck the farm. It's all they've got. And I... you know.

Matty:
No, what?

Alo:
I love them, and stuff.

Rich:
Haha, you're gay for your parents.

[Rich is laughing to himself]

Alo:
Has Hannah Montana died or something?

[Blood rejects Grace's request to have friends over]

Grace:
Why? Because education is war?

Blood:
Education is war. Against inefficiency, ignorance, idleness, and chewing gum.

Mini:
Franky, uh, you haven't really told us whether you're a... you know. Or a...

Franky:
What?

Liv:
A lesbian.

Grace:
Liv! That's so-

Franky:
No. It's okay. I don't mind. And the answer is... No. I'm not anything.

Mini:
So you're bisexual?

Franky:
No. I'm into... people.

Blood:
I'm doing this because I love you. I just want better for you.

Grace:
No, David. You just want a different daughter.

Grace:
You're very sweet. But this can't happen, Rich. There's nothing we can do, it's over.

Rich:
Oh, whilt thou leave me so unsatisfied?

Grace:
Tell me. Tell me what to do. What's left to do?

Rich:
The exchange of thy love's faithful vow for mine. What do people in Shakespeare do when it's all f***ed, when they're trapped? How do they work it all out? Maybe stories are just stories. Or maybe... we can make our life a story. So marry me, Grace Violet Blood.

[Grace and Rich kiss]

Grace:
Oh, wonder. How many goodly creatures are there here. How beauteous mankind is. Oh, brave new world. That has such people in it.

Rich:
I look like...

Alo:
Justin Bieber.

Rich:
Take that back!

[A few minutes later]

Nick:
[After seeing Rich's new haircut] Oh my gay, it's Justin Bieber!

Nick:
[With his leg caught in a trap] Save yourself! Leave me to the bears.

Alo:
We're in Somerset, Nick.

Nick:
To the f***ing squirrels then!

Alo:
[To Nick] You're not a loser. You're a bit of a prick. But peel away that prick, and there's a good man in there.

Franky:
You know, when I was six, the teacher asked me to think of something beautiful. I said 9/11. Saw it on the T.V. in this care home with the sound on mute. The teacher told me how many people had died, and all the other kids in the class cried. And I knew then that I was... wrong.

Grace (to rich):
"i probably love you"