Skunk Fu!

Killer Bees:
Who slammed into our tree?! And who stole our honey?! And which one of you punks called our honey, "tree sap?!"

Skunk:
Uh… They did.

Skunk:
Man, what a downer.

Snake:
Downer? I found the love of my life was a belt, and then I was mistaken for a belt. I wish I was a belt then I could marry her.

Skunk:
She wasn't your type anyway.

[After a ninja monkey destroys Skunk's green tea cake, Skunk threateningly vows revenge]

Skunk:
Why?! Why did he do this to you?! [gets up on his feet; enraged] This is not over! REVENGE!!!!! [echoes]

Rabbit:
[wakes up from his nap] Somebody wants revenge? Sweet!

Skunk:
Hey, Rabbit. We're digging under the lake!

Rabbit:
What's with the unauthorized break?

Skunk:
What?! One more scoop and we'll drown! You had me digging in the wrong direction!

Rabbit:
Rule 54: No disparaging the rules.

Skunk:
This is so stupid! We're supposed to be partners. I didn't sign up to be your slave! I mean, whoever heard of a rabbit who doesn't dig his own tunnels?! This is totally absolutely…

Rabbit:
Rule 12: No lip! No, Skunk, not in my tunnel. That's rule 5.

Skunk:
[having enough; agitatedly fed up] That's it! I quit!

Rabbit:
Rule 75: You can't quit until I tell you you can quit.

Skunk:
You're not the boss of me!

Rabbit:
[takes out his rules list] Oh, yes I am. That was rule #1. [Skunk angrily rips up the list] Oh! My rules!

Frog:
Behold, your giggle fit has stopped. [Skunk cries sorrowfully] It seems tears accomplish, but, exhaustion could not.

Skunk:
[walks away, sadly] You cured me, Master Frog. This is the happiest day of my life.

Panda:
Why are you crying, little Skunk?

Skunk:
[tearfully] To keep me from laughing, so my mind can be still.

Panda:
But your mind cannot be still by thinking upsetting thoughts either.

Skunk:
I can't laugh? I can't cry? What can I do? [throws the archery bow to the ground and runs away, sobbing]

Rabbit:
Skunk?! What the…?! [his face turns red with rage] You took my monkey head!

Skunk:
STOP HIDING BEHIND RABBIT'S DEADLY DEFENSES!!!

Crane:
[sees Skunk approaching and tells everyone to be quiet] Shh! Here he comes, now.

Skunk:
[sees everyone smiling at him; surprised] What?! [gulps shyly] Okay. Before you say anything, I just wanna say that I didn't do it.

Crane:
Really? Did you or did you not just face off with Baboon on the pond?

Skunk:
I don't need to cool off. I am cool.

Rabbit:
[grabs him by the ankle and ropes him into his rabbit hole] Ah, Mr. Skunk, we meet again.

Skunk:
Oh, man. I hate it when you do that.

Rabbit:
You know, you're not supposed to be on this mission. It's too dangerous.

Fox:
Too dangerous? I'll show you too dangerous! [grabs Rabbit and tackles him onto the ground]

Skunk:
[rolls up the chores list; annoyed] Aw, come on! I'm so sick of these stupid chores. Hmm. [gets a mischievous idea by pretending to be sick] Oh, I'm so sick and weak. [no one responds; shouting] I said, I'm so sick and weak!

Fox:
[runs up to him] Skunk! [Skunk fake-clutches his gut while making painful sounds] I'll get help! [runs off as Skunk sits up, grinning mischievously]

[Later, Turtle uses a fetal stethoscope to check Skunk's heart rate]

Ox:
[worried] Poor little dude.

Skunk:
[faking weakly] Panda gave me a list. [sits up] I have lots of chores. [fake coughs]

Turtle:
Oh, dear. [lays Skunk back down]

Rabbit:
Ugh. You little faker.

[Fox and Duck gasp offensively]

Fox:
How can you say that?! Just look at him.

[Skunk makes big sad puppy eyes]

Rabbit:
[scoffs] The little sneak is playing it all for suckers! Only thing wrong with him is a bad case of lazy.

Duck:
Don't let Rabbit bother you, sweetie.

Skunk:
Oh! Sorry, Tiger. I was practicing a move Panda taught me-- the Butt Buster!

Tiger:
[in denial] I wasn't scared. What you learned at the dojo is just…kid stuff!

Skunk:
[offended] "Kid stuff?!"

Skunk:
Ignore the pain, Skunk. [groans] A true artist must suffer for his heart. [sobs] Who am I kidding?! I can't take this anymore! Those monkeys have pounded me so hard. [starts acting all maniacally] I'm going insane.

Bird:
Great work, Skunk. The monkeys are doing what they want. And what they want to do, is do nothing. In other words, they're doing my job! I hate to say it, but we gotta do something! I think I'm gonna be sick.

Skunk:
Okay, you're right. I never thought I'd say this, but we got to get Baboon to take the monkeys back.

Bird:
How?

Skunk:
We gotta show Baboon he was wrong to fire them, that he needs them.

Bird:
Uh-huh.

Skunk:
Snake, I've got it! I got Turtle's notebook back! It was easy!

Snake:
Yeah, too easy.

Skunk:
What do you mean?

Snake:
You think that was the real notebook? It was a decoy.

Skunk:
[opens the notebook] Wha…?! [flips through the pages of drawings of Baboon blowing raspberry] Oh, man! [throws the fake notebook on the ground in frustration]

Snake:
This is where Panda sent me, not you. Now go on home, kid.

Skunk:
But you can't send me home. Let me go with you, please? Come on, I made it this far that's got to count for something.

Snake:
[sighs] Fine. But you're gonna have to learn a thing or two about this panache.