Sonic Boom, Season 2

(At Hedgehog Village, Sonic wakes up from rubble caused by a damaged wall.)

Sonic:
Ugh.... What happened? I haven't felt this horrible ever since I've seen Comedy Chimp's swimsuit calendar. (shudders) November.

(Sonic gets up, seeing himself wearing a vest.)

Sonic:
And why do I look like a discount-bin action figure?

(At Tails's workshop...)

Tails:
Okay, guys. I'll be the first to admit that my speed-boost experiments were a tad inconclusive.

Knuckles:
Does "inconclusive" mean the same as "hilarious"?

Tails:
Well, you know what they say: no pain, no gain.

Sonic:
(sarcastically) I'm sorry this was painful for you, Tails.

Tails:
It's okay. Besides, without your broken ribs, I never would've invented this, (reveals a vest and control panel) my Ultra-Sonic Speed Amplifier!

[beat]

(The gang gives Tails a lukewarm applause.)

Tails:
Spare me your halfhearted applause. Once you see what this baby can do, your applause will be at least three-quarter-hearted!

(Tails puts the vest on Sonic)

Sonic:
So, if I wear this thing for six weeks, will my ribs heal properly?

Tails:
No. This control panel will deliver amplification signals into your chest plate, allowing you to reach unparalleled speeds, all using state-of-the-art blast-processing technology!

Sticks:
"Blast-processing technology"? Those are just phony-baloney buzzwords to fool the simple-minded!

Knuckles:
Blast-processing technology?? Oh, gimme, gimme, gimme!

Tails:
Ready to go, Sonic?

Sonic:
Seriously!? After all you put me through this morning...absolutely!!

(Tails activates the panel, sending Sonic dashing off, faster than usual.)

Sonic:
Wow! It works!

Tails:
(via com unit) How are you feeling, Sonic?

Sonic:
Like a hummingbird on his third espresso! Tails, you're a genius! How about a little more juice?

Tails:
You got it!

(Back at the workshop, Tails takes a sip from a juice box.)

Tails:
And I'll up the levels, too.

(Tails increases the power level, increasing Sonic's speed.)

Sonic:
Woo! Faster!

(Tails increases the levels again, making Sonic fast enough to even jump over the crater!)

Sonic:
(yelling) FASTER!!

Tails:
Uh, I don't think we should--

Sonic:
FASTER!!!!

(With Sonic's speed increased even further, he runs back to the lab. He dashes around Knuckles, tapping his shoulder to fool him.)

Knuckles:
I know that was you.

Sonic:
It wasn't me. It was him!

(Sonic dashes again, this time generating an illusory clone waving casually.)

Knuckles:
But him is you.

Amy:
He's going so fast, he's appearing in two places at once!

Sonic:
But we could always go faster! Tails, crank it!!!

(Sonic begins running out of the lab and toward the village.)

Tails:
I really think we should do more tests before we push the--

Sonic:
DO IT!!!!!

Sonic:
Think, Sonic -- how did this happen...? Must've been Eggman.

Sonic:
Did you miss me? (Destroys a Badnik)

Dr. Eggman:
Well, this whole plan kinda hinged on your absence, so, no, not really.

(The scene opens at Sonic's shack, where we see him sleeping)

Sonic:
(sleep-talking) No, stop! You're pure evil! Why are you coloring my arms!?

(Some spit lands on Sonic, causing him to wake up and come face-to-face with a gross creature.)

Sonic:
Ahh! (smells the animal) Ugh! You need a bath and a shower. And to get the heck outta my shack! What are you, anyway?

(The creature bellows, tripping Sonic off his hammock.)

Beaver:
Actually, it's a widabit. A very rare and majestic species.

Sonic:
Doesn't seem so majestic to me.

(At Meh Burger...)

Amy:
So, how are things at the man cave? You two must be having a blast.

Sonic:
Heck, yeah! I love destroying Tails in Mutant Wrestling every night! Ain't that right, pal?

Tails:
(laughs nervously) Yeah...

Dave:
Order up for..."Sanic".

Sonic:
Uh, I think you mean "Sonic".

Dave:
No, it says "Sanic" right here.

Sonic:
This'll take a minute. (Rushes off)

Tails:
You guys gotta help me! I don't know how much longer I can handle this. Sonic may be my best friend, but living with him is a nightmare! Any idea how much longer the widabit will be staying in Sonic's shack?

Amy:
Could be months. You can't hurry love.

Tails:
But maybe you can push it along...

(At Amy's house, Team Sonic is watching TV together.)

Detective Wombat:
Looks like our killer had the necessary...koala-fications!

Sonic:
Wombat's my favorite character in Marsupial Crime Unit. Sure, his digestion's slow, and so are his reflexes, but he always gets his man!

Sonic:
Alright, next up: a Meh Meal for two... (skids to a stop) ...for Amy Rose?

(Sonic knocks on her door, and Amy answers, wearing a coy smile and setting up her living room for a romantic ambiance. Oh, boy...)

Sonic:
Hey, Amy. I got your food for you and...Tommy the Ox? Lady Goat? Honestly, I don't even care. It's not like it's you and I--

Amy:
It's for you, Sonic. I thought you'd like a break from work.

Sonic:
'Kay, but I only got a minute.

[Sonic quickly devours his burger.]

Sonic:
'Kay, this was fun. Gotta go, bye!

(Sonic dashes off. Having failed, Amy's exasperated sigh puts out the candles.)

Tails:
Finally! My matter transporter is finished!

Tails:
Better do a test run, just to be safe.

Amy:
I heard Meh Burger removed artificial dyes from their food. Now their patties are naturally gray.

Tails:
(monotone) Hey, guys!

Sonic:
Tails, what happened?

Tails:
Is it that obvious? I was hoping no one would notice.

Knuckles:
Notice what?

(Tails flies to the cavern containing the trapped Beebots.)

Tails:
I received your messages, my worker bees. (Shuts off the force field as the Beebots gather) Yes! GATHER! SWARM!! FOR I AM THE KING OF THE BEEBOTS!

(Tails laughs manically as he rallies the Beebots against his friends.)

Amy:
Tails, what's come over you??

Tails:
Gone is the useless fox you all once knew! I finally understand my true power! I've become one with the hive! Beebots, ATTACK YOUR CAPTORS!

Eggman:
He splashed mud on me! Why are you booing me?? Grr! (Stands up, causing the citizens to run away)

Sonic:
Who knew all those years of being a total dillweed would rub people the wrong way?

(At a canyon, Eggman waits for an old ally of his as he dashes through and stops upon his presence--Shadow the Hedgehog!)

Eggman:
Shadow, I have a proposition for you...

Shadow:
Find some other pawn, Eggman. I'll never work for you again! Now get out of my sight!

(Eggman sulks away.)

Tails:
Alright, let's start with the basics. (Picks up a chess piece) This is a pawn.

Sticks:
Don't kid yourself. (Snatches the piece from Tails) We're all pawns in the big chess board of life.

Sticks:
I'm starting to like this game!

Knuckles:
This must be what birds feel like! Look at me! I'm a penguin!

Soar:
If you follow my three-step plan, you'll be in the water in no time. Step one! (Shoves Sonic into the water before using his jet pack to skim away) You'll probably be okay!

Sonic:
(splashing in panic) NO! I CAN'T SWIM! Those five-year-olds were right! Cruel, but right.

Tails:
Well, Sonic, aren't you glad you overcame your fear?

Sonic:
Overcame? Are you crazy?! They've all been magnified tenfold! That was the scariest thing I've ever done! I'm never going near water again.

Soar:
Step two! (Splashes a glass of water at Sonic, causing the hedgehog to send an annoyed stare) Uh, is this a good time to ask for my check?

Sonic:
Go, go, go, go, go!

Knuckles:
Whoo-hoo! (gets a brain freeze) Ahh! Oh.... What did I do to deserve this?!

Tails:
Guys! I have some big news!

Knuckles:
(gasps) You're getting married?

Tails:
What? No. Our band just got booked for a gig!

Sonic:
Just one question: we're in a band?

Tails:
Dude-itude, remember? We saved the women of the village from becoming mind-controlled zombies?

Tails:
We ended Justin Beaver's musical career?

Tails:
(flatly) There were crackers in the green room?

Shadow:
Look at you, celebrating like the game's been won. But this is only the beginning...of the end.

Sonic:
Okay. Kinda cryptic, Shadow. Mind elaborating on that one?

Shadow:
As it turns out, I no longer want my revenge on that lack-wit Eggman. I want revenge on this WHOLE PATHETIC UNIVERSE! So, that's why I took those mustached fools to a secret location.

Tails:
With both Eggmen in this dimension, a catastrophic anomaly is going to destroy our universe!

Shadow:
Now you're catching on. So long, fools. Forever! (Teleports away)

Shadow:
I must say, I'm not thrilled with the results, but I am impressed with how you managed to save the universe. I'll be back, Sonic. But next time, on my terms! (Teleports away)

Eggman:
Well, I almost caused the end of the world, but it was so worth it! I got great Yolk Capture footage for my video game!

Orbot:
Unfortunately, sir, during the catastrophic anomaly, your evil lair was struck by lightning. It appears that all of your mo-cap files were destroyed.

Eggman:
Well, there is always next season.