Sons of Anarchy, Season 1

Clay Morrow:
Two in the back of the head. Quick and painless.

Jax Teller:
It ain't easy being king.

Clay Morrow:
Yeah, you just remember that.

[Half-Sack tows in a BMW with a deer in the windshield]

Jax:
Some days you're the Beamer, some days you're the goddamn deer.

Chibs:
Some yuppie creamed it out by the streams.

Jax:
He run into it or hit a tree while it was giving him head?

Half-Sack:
How the hell you want me to get it out of there? [Jax gets a chainsaw] Come on. Jesus, man.

Jax:
Just pretend its carve your own steak night at the sizzler.

Half-Sack:
I don't eat meat, man.

Jax:
Figure it out, grunt.

Clay Morrow:
I never sold gun one to the Mexicans. Now I need for you to show me a little respect, and give me a few more days for delivery.

Laroy Wayne:
Don't give a shit about history, or respect. This is about business, old man.

Clay Morrow:
And I'm telling you, brotha. Give me some more time: really smart business.

Gemma:
[about Abel] You gotta go see him, Jax.

Jax Teller:
I can't.

Gemma:
Why? He'll break your heart? It's called being a father.

Jax Teller:
For how long? A day? A week?

Gemma:
You know, you were born with that same heart defect your little brother had. [She lightly punches his chest] Seems pretty sturdy to me. I've been through hell, landed on my feet. Your father was hit by a goddamn semi, dragged 178 yards. And that bastard lived for two more days. Teller's do not die easy.

Jax Teller:
No, we just die bloody.

Gemma:
Looks like the boy might actually see his first birthday.

Wendy:
He made it? Oh, Abel, thank God!

Gemma:
Yes. Thank you, God. Maybe we should say a little prayer?

Wendy:
Okay. That'd be good.

Gemma:
Dear God, thank you for saving this boy... from his murderous junkie mom, who cared more about a $40 rush than she did her own flesh and blood.

Wendy:
Don't you dare...

Gemma:
Don't I dare? You pathetic whore. Guess the D.A. was impressed with your Bible studies. Hear they're not gonna press charges.

Wendy:
When I check out of here, I'm going to Promises.

Gemma:
Let's just throw money at those 12-step freaks. How long's it gonna last this time? Six months? Three? Couple of weeks?

Wendy:
It's gonna be different this time. This time I have my baby to live for.

Gemma:
That's where you're wrong. You have no baby. You lost that privilege. [Grabs Wendy by the throat] You so much as cast a shadow on that kid, try to turn some legal screw and get custody, I will finish this job. He will never call you "mommy". [Releases Wendy, and throws a Bible on her table] I suggest you turn to Jesus. [Gemma exits]

[Wendy opens the Bible, to find a needle filled with crank inside]

John Teller:
[voiceover] Most of us were not violent by nature. We all had our problems with authority, but none of us were sociopaths. We came to realize that when you move your life off the social grid you give up the safety that society provides. On the fringe, blood and bullets are the rule of law and if you're a man with convictions violence is inevitable.

Hale:
How you doing Jax? I heard about Wendy and the baby. I'm sorry.

Jax:
Thanks.

Hale:
You know I took a ride out to the streams today. Saw that warehouse that burned down.

Jax:
Outside your jurisdiction, ain't it?

Hale:
You ever heard of a Bluebird Supply Company? Apparently they hold the title on that parcel.

Jax:
Never heard of them.

Hale:
Whole area was littered with casings and gun parts. That warehouse was a weapons depot.

Jax:
No kidding?

Hale:
Chief Unser's retiring at the end of this month. I'll be stepping into those shoes. Unser's always had a look the other way policy with the Sons of Anarchy.

Jax:
Unser's a lazy drunk.

Hale:
I will not look the other way, Jax. Just a friendly heads up.

Jax:
We're all free men, protected by the Constitution. You look any way you want, Chief.

Clay:
So your boy's not really a team player. I've made several gestures of friendship. He's declined every one.

Unser:
Hale's not interested in friends. He thinks Charming's stuck in 1969. Want's to bring it into the 21st century.

Clay:
Hale is a half-bright clerk with a Wyatt Earp complex. Hardly seems like a guy with a vision.

Unser:
Don't underestimate him. He's tight with city council and his old man's got deep political ties in Northern Cali.

Tig:
I got to tell you something, man. I mean it could be bad.

Clay:
It already is.

Tig:
Those two dead Mexicans in the warehouse hole. I was hitting them.

Clay:
Jesus Christ. Both of them?

Tig:
Oh yeah. Kind of a taco twofer thing.

Clay:
So you're just gonna stroll outta there with two dead Mexi whores draped over your shoulders?

Tig:
I'll gut them dead bitches. I'll flush their bellies with bleach. No DNA.

Clay:
What kinda nasty shit did your momma do to you?

Tig:
What do you mean?

John Teller:
[voiceover] When we take action to avenge the ones we love personal justice collides with social and divine justice. We become judge, jury, and God. With that choice comes daunting responsibility. Some men cave under that weight. Others abuse the momentum. The true outlaw finds the balance between the passion in his heart and the reason in his mind. His solution is always an equal mix of might and right.

Gemma:
Let's go into the photo booth. Come on; let me give you a quick hand job.

Clay:
I already got a picture of that.

Gemma:
This time it'll be my hand.

Clay:
(picks Gemma up over shoulder) Ooo baby, you bad. Bad girl

Elliot:
I want you to find him. You bring him to me first. I'll pay anything you want.

Clay:
Who do you think we are, Elliot?

Elliot:
Oswald's have been in this town a lot longer than SAMCRO. I know what you are.

Clay:
I don't want your money. Nobody comes into my town, and does this to a little girl. We'll find the sick bastard. But, when I deliver him to you, I'm gonna need to know that justice will be served.

Hale:
Anger clouds judgment and it makes us do things that we end up regretting-things we can never take back.

Elliot:
The only thing I can never take back is what happened to that little girl.

Clay:
You think a Son had something to do with that rape?

Hale:
Half of 'em have violent crimes on their rap sheets. Just following logic.

Jax:
Wasn't it just last week four Oakland cops were busted for prostitution and rape? Logic tells me we should ask where your dick was at last night.

Clay:
And don't say in your mama.

Hale:
Officers Mann and Fain will be taking your statements. Could take hours.

Clay:
I'm trying to run a business here.

Hale:
We can do it here, at the station house, wherever you want to do it. And don't say, "In your mama".

Gemma:
Jax is in a real strange place. He doesn't need any outside voices in his head. Stay clear of him.

Tara:
We're not 19 years old anymore. You can't dictate what he does, who he sees-

Gemma:
I'm his mother, and until I am dead and cold, I am going to do anything I have to do to protect him.

Juice:
I am not happy about being here either. At least you and I, you know-we can try to have a decent conversation.

Tig:
What? What do you want? You want to bond? You want to get closer? Fine.

Tig undoes his belt.]

Juice:
What are you doing?

Tig:
I'm gonna dunk my balls in your mouth. You're gonna gag. I'm gonna laugh. We'll be best friends forever.

Jax:
[to guy sitting on his bike] Say 'Cheese.'

Guy:
Cheese.

[Jax takes picture]

Bobby:
That's before.

Guy:
Before?

[Jax punches him]

Jax:
Don't ever sit on another man's bike, asshole…

[Bobby takes picture]

Bobby:
That's after.

Bobby:
You are the James T. Kirk of the MC world.

Jax:
Boldly going where no man's gone before?

Bobby:
I think quite a few have been there before.

Half-Sack:
[about Gemma] Hey, I gotta admit. Clay's old lady gave me a serious MILF chubby. [notices Clay]…Hey, I brought the car out of the garage. It's clear now…so, uh…

Clay:
Clip a truck from Unser's tonight. Make it look like you stole it. Cancer boy wants deniability. :[Clay leaves]

Tig:
MILF Chubby?

Half-Sack:
It's like a compliment, you know? Cause, she's hot.

[After Tig was bitten by the dog]

Tig:
I thought you said you drugged the meat?

Juice:
I did.

Tig:
Look at him, he's foamin' at the mouth.

Juice:
That thing should be dead. I dosed it like two grams.

Tig:
Grams of what?

Juice:
Crank.

Tig:
You fed crystal to a killer doberman, Are you retarded?

Juice:
No.

Opie:
Well I'd better get back to the fireworks or your mom's gonna be stuffing gun powder up my ass.

Jax:
Ya, I'm sure we're all on the Gemma shit list by now.

Clay:
I live on that shit list.

Clay:
The hand on the dick thing. What's the deal?

Chuck:
I'm sorry, man. I'm sorry. Sorry. I have this condition. I'm not even aware of it.

Clay:
Condition?

Chuck:
CMD. Compulsive Masturbation Disorder. I couldn't get the right meds in Stockton so it's a little out of control right now.

Piney:
You know, I used to have that. And then, uh, hell, I turned 13.

Clay:
I step outside for five minutes, you can't watch him?

Piney:
I was in the can.

Half-Sack:
I was getting him the soft toilet paper. He hates the scratchy kind.

Clay:
Well I'm glad your ass is feeling loved.

Gemma:
I love you.

Clay:
That love's gonna kill me.

Clay:
Hey, you all better be at that fundraiser tomorrow, unless you want a size nine high-heel boot up your ass.

Bobby:
You coming?

Clay:
I'd rather have my balls cut off.

[everyone laughs and groans]

Clay:
What? What? Too soon for that joke?

Stahl:
[grabs Hale and Kohn's butts] Mmm! Mother's little helpers. Get me my goddamn warrant.

Clay:
[as Gemma is led into the police station] What the hell did you do?

Gemma:
Same thing you did. Nailed some little tart from Nevada.

Clay:
Like I don't have enough shit oozing out of my ears. You gotta go and do this.

Gemma:
You should've thought of that before your dick went on a cheerleader hunt.

Clay:
Hey! I didn't tell her to come here.

Gemma:
But she's here!

Clay:
Well, it's not my fault!

Gemma:
And it's not my pussy!

Stahl:
And that's why I'm single.

John Teller:
[voiceover] The older I get, the more I realize that age doesn't bring wisdom. It only brings weary. I'm not any smarter than I was 30 years ago. I've just grown too tired to juggle the lies and hide the fears. Self-awareness doesn't reveal my indiscretions; exhaustion does.

Gemma:
[about Clay] You so much as flash a pretty grin at him-I will jam my fist so far up your bony ass, your cup size will double.

Cherry:
Is that how your rack got to be that size?

Trammel:
I didn't sign on for burned bodies, dead sheriffs.

Jax:
I know.

Trammel:
This is over.

Jax:
Hey, Trammel. It's too late for over, man. You know all about us, and we know all about you. Look, only way this relationship works is two of us together, or one of us dead.

Gemma:
What'd you tell Jax about the bodies?

Clay:
Some of the truth.

Gemma:
And Lowell?

Clay:
A little more.

Gemma:
The rest stays buried.

Clay:
Yeah. And rest in peace.

Clay:
I understand you declined Bobby's request for some comfort.

Cherry:
Yeah, I did. I'm not about that anymore.

Clay:
If I was to ask for some comfort, would you be about that?

Cherry:
No, sorry, but your old lady would turn us both into chum.

John Teller:
[voiceover] Inside the club, there had to be truth. Our word was our honor. But outside, it was all about deception. Lies were our defense, our default. To survive, you had to master the art of perjury. The lie and the truth had to feel the same. But once you learned that skill, nobody knows the truth in or outside the club; especially you.

Jax:
Can you distract the doctors?

Tig:
Yeah. No problem…Excuse me, ladies. How you doing? Uh, you're doctors, both of you?

Female Doctor:
Yeah.

Tig:
[unzipping his pants] Oh, thank god. Um, a Doberman pinscher took a chunk of my ass.

Female Doctor:
Oh, god

Tig:
Wait, can we just…

Female Doctor:
You need to go to the E.R.

Jax:
Distract them. I said distract them, not scar them for life.

Tig:
I'm serious. I think it's infected.

Jax:
You guys gave it your best shot. You've got nothing on SAMCRO. And you harassing Tara, that ends here…or next time it won't be a piece-of-shit car I'm draining fluid from.

Kohn:
You threatening a federal agent?

Jax:
I'm threatening you.

John Teller:
[voiceover] Einstein said that any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. But it takes a touch of genius and lots of courage to move something in the opposite direction. I'm realizing that my touch of genius and my courage are coming too little, too late. And I fear that for SAMCRO, there may be no opposite direction.

Tig:
So you stole an ambulance?

Juice:
I had nothing to do with this.

Half-Sack:
Hell, these things are worth, like, a hundred grand, easy.

Clay:
Yeah, they are. That's why the people who buy 'em are, like, state and federal agencies. So, uh, what? You want me to sell a stolen vehicle to the government?

Half-Sack:
Oh, uh, just something like a small hospital or something.

Clay:
Oh, like, uh, Uncle Freddy's Infirmary?

Tig:
Why don't you just steal, like, a fire engine? And then we could have our own rescue center. We could have our own little uniforms and hats.

Unser:
Why am I looking at one of Oswald's tanker's?

Jax:
Ah, that leads us to our next conversation with the owner of Unser Trucking. Its 8,500 gallons of diesel. It's yours for 20k.

Unser:
Stolen diesel.

Jax:
Gas costs gotta be killing your bottom line. I'm offering you a 50% discount.

Unser:
Half the cost, twice the risk.

Jax:
Come on. You fill your pumps after dark and a uni finds the tanker on the side of the road. Insurance covers Oswald, and you run your trucks at a buck-ninety a gallon for the next six weeks. Where's the risk in that?

Unser:
Can you at least pretend I'm a cop sometimes?

Jax:
What happened with me and Tara is ancient history, Mom.

Gemma:
She hurt this family. Tried to pull you away.

Jax:
I didn't leave, did I?

Gemma:
But she did. Broke your heart.

Jax:
I guess.

Gemma:
You guess? She crushed you, Jax.

Jax:
I was 19. It was first love bullshit. I grew up. I got over it. It's time you got over it too.

Gemma:
Somebody hurts your baby, you never get over it.

Jax:
Kid gets out of the toaster today.

Tig:
You get to hold your son?

Chibs:
That's great, Jackie boy. Congrats.

Clay:
At least we know one good thing's gonna happen today, huh?

John Teller:
I never made a conscious decision to have the club become one thing or another. It just happened before my eyes. Each savage event was a catalyst for the next. And by the time the violence reached epic proportion, I couldn't see it. Blood was every color.

Jax:
I've been waking up every day since he was born with a sick feeling. Wondering who was gonna die today. And it scares the shit out of me. And then I woke up this morning, and it was gone. I think that scares me more.

Juice:
Take him out? That means like kill him?

Chibs:
No. I think what it means is dinner and a movie.

Unser:
Someone went after Darby last night. They killed one of his guys, two women at his house in Charming.

Gemma:
You think it was us?

Unser:
I also found two dead Mayans in a ditch off 18 half a mile outside of town. Last time I looked at the scoreboard, Nords and Mayans were the away team.

Clay:
Glad you're rooting for the home team, Chief.

Unser:
Deal always was outlaws live in Charming, shit beyond the borders. You can't change the rules, or it all goes to hell.

Tara:
What exactly is it you're hoping to find? Just wondering what digging up dirt on old girlfriends gets you?

Stahl:
Is that what Kohn liked? Your inquisitive nature? You know, I understand that he never got off the plane in Chicago. He's M.I.A. Threw away his career for love. I just hope you're not doing the same, Doctor.

Hayes:
You a Catholic?

Gemma:
I'm whatever I need to be.

...

Hayes:
Do you believe in God, Gemma?

Gemma:
I believe in family.

Hayes:
Think that's enough?

Gemma:
Who you kiddin'? Sitting here ticking off Hail Mary's, think that gives you some kind of heavenly pass? God's gonna open the pearly gates when those next two bullets catch you in the head?

Hayes:
It's all a little absurd, I guess. Truth is I know I'm going to hell. Prayer just makes my time here a little less miserable. A few good acts of contrition can make you feel good too, love. [hands her rosary beads]

Gemma:
There's only one way these beads could make me feel good…love. And it involves a whole different act.

Clay:
[about Opie] What's going on with him?

Bobby:
His heart's in it. His head's someplace else.

Clay:
Too much of that shit going around lately.

Tig:
You ever get high off of this?

Piney:
It's just oxygen.

Tig:
No, I know. I know. But can't you just turn it up and get, like, you know, the Blue Velvet kind of thing going on.

Piney:
What the hell is wrong with him?

Bobby:
The list is too long, my friend.

Jax:
Do you love me? It's a simple question.

Tara:
It's not a simple answer.

Jax:
I know.

Stahl:
Donna, what kind of mother are you going to be?

Donna:
The kind who doesn't bail on her family.

Stahl:
Now what is going to happen when I put you and your family back in Charming, hmm?

Opie:
I tell the club the truth.

Stahl:
Maybe they believe you, but maybe they don't. Are you really willing to risk the life of your family on the love Clay Morrow has for you?

Jax:
Opie's not a rat. He did 5 years for this club.

Tig:
Maybe he doesn't want to do 25 more.

Clay:
You and I both love Opie. I don't want to believe this shit either. But we gotta prepare ourselves for a truth we may not like.

Jax:
He'd never sell out the club.

Clay:
And what if he did?

Jax:
Then I'll kill him myself.

Mary Winston:
I got a call from the feds asking me to pick up my grandkids from the Department of Justice facility in Stockton.

Gemma:
Opie's kids are in a facility?

Mary Winston:
Apparently the whole family is. I can't get a hold of Piney. Thought you might shed some light on why I'm schlepping my fat ass 75 miles.

Jax:
The last few months, man. The warehouse gets blown up. Mayans tried to kill Clay. Bobby's in jail. We got the ATF trying to stick RICO up our ass. How much longer do you think this club's got? We're better than this, man. My old man? He saw the nightmare coming. He was smart, Opie, way smarter than me. He had ideas about where to take the club. You know? Legitimate ways to earn. He knew...SAMCRO's got to change to survive.

Wendy:
I was okay with you slipping me enough crank to kill a horse. Because of what I did to Abel, I deserved that. But I am not the same person that I was two months ago. I can't be a part of this. You're playing with people's lives, Gemma.

Gemma:
I'm protecting the innocent. If I step on a few toes in the meanwhile, so be it

Jax:
Is something wrong?

Tara:
With Abel leaving, I realized it's not just you. You have a son. We need to think about what we're doing.

Jax:
You really want to talk about this, huh? Cause the one upside of Wendy, she was usually too wasted for relationship chats.

Tara:
Well, I'm painfully sober.

Wendy:
[to Tara] She'll never let you be with him. Gemma hates you. She'll do whatever she can to keep you guys apart. You may as well quit while you're still ahead…or alive, for that matter.

Clay:
What you did to Opie and his family proves one thing; you're desperate, cause you got nothing on us. It kills you, doesn't it? To see me and my guys living good lives. Families, friends, nice homes. You hate the fact that we get the same rights and freedoms as you do.

Stahl:
Gee, you make me so proud to be an American.

Clay:
You're a fascist pig, and what Otto did to you is just the tip of the iceberg.

Clay:
I know you're hurting. You think you're trying to help, but...

Piney:
Don't you tell me what I'm thinking! You know, if this happened to your family, there'd be six charters halfway to Oakland.

Clay:
This did happen to my family.

Piney:
No it didn't! The Niners came gunning for my son. They killed my daughter-in-law. You got that, huh? You got that kind of hole in your family?

Tara:
Nothing is okay. Like, the last few weeks, I tried to follow your lead. You know, find some kind of compartment to put all this stuff in. But I just can't. I don't sleep. I'm more scared now than I ever was. I'm scared of getting caught. I'm scared of not getting caught. We got away with murder. What does that make me?

Jax:
A survivor.

Tara:
I think you're a good man with a big heart. I believe you try to do as much good as you can, but you live a life I don't think I'll ever really understand.

Jax:
Don't you get tired of it? Running

Tara:
I'm not running. I'm just being realistic, Jax.

Jax:
Call it whatever you want. Your life is a series of hit-and-runs. The minute someone makes you feel uncomfortable, tests your loyalty, little Tara packs her bags and hits the road. Well, I guess you got what you wanted from me, right? Used me to do your dirty work.

Tara:
That's not fair.

Jax:
Not fair? You wanna know how many women I've slept with over the last 10 years?

Tara:
Don't do this…

Jax:
Hundreds! Maybe more, I don't know. I barely see their faces. I married Wendy because I was lonely. Because I got tired of the endless disconnect. It was just a sad time-out. Because when I'm inside someone, there's only one face I see. When you came home, it was like some kind of sign to me. Like my past coming around to give me another shot to do this different; better. And now that chance is running back to Chicago.

Hale:
This relationship you have with Clay…I don't like it…but I get it. You make a deal with the devil to keep the peace. But look at this. Look at what we let happen. An innocent woman was killed.

Unser:
I didn't let that happen.

Hale:
Yeah, you're right. It's on me. What was I supposed to do? Roll over and feed SAMCRO classified information?

Unser:
I get the rock and hard place this all took you to. Sorry this guilt comes down on you.

Hale:
Well, then, help me. For once, please. Just help me serve justice to these guys.

Unser:
I should be fishing somewhere, or reading a book half buzzed on vodka and lemonade. And I'm still here in this suit of mine because I've got my own rock and hard place I'm living between. I ain't got much more of a run in me. A few years, maybe, but I need something to leave Della and my half-smart kids. I'm sorry, son.

Gemma:
Motherless children. They make people do drastic things. This is bad.

Clay:
You think I don't know that. You think I wanted this?

Gemma:
You feel all that, baby. You feel it here. You walk out that door...you be the man they all need you to be.

Piney:
Time for a change.

Jax:
Yea.

Tig Trager:
I gotta tell you something, man. I mean it could be bad.

Clay Morrow:
It already is.

Tig Trager:
Those two dead Mexicans in the warehouse hole - I was hitting 'em.

Clay Morrow:
Jesus Christ. Both of them?

Tig Trager:
Oh yeah. Kind of a taco "twofer" thing.

Clay Morrow:
Tell me one of them doesn't have a belly full of Tigger juice?

Tig Trager:
Afraid they both do.

Clay Morrow:
[angrily] You did time, shithead. You're in the DNA database.

Tig Trager:
Yeah, I know.

Clay Morrow:
Forensics team gets ahold of those bodies...

Tig Trager:
[interrupting Clay] I'll go pull 'em out of there.

Clay Morrow:
Hale's gonna be watching that warehouse day and night.

Tig Trager:
Well, maybe Trammel can sneak me in, you know? He's a county sheriff, he outranks the local P.D., right?

Clay Morrow:
Oh, you're just gonna stroll outta there with two dead Mexi whores draped over your shoulders?

Tig Trager:
I'll gut them dead bitches. I'll flush their bellies with bleach. No DNA.

Clay Morrow:
[looking disturbed] What kinda nasty shit did your momma do to you?

Tig Trager:
What do you mean?