Spider-Man, Season 4

Spider-Man:
If I'm gonna quit it looks like they're gonna throw me one heck of a party and what's a party without snapshots

Spider-Man:
Well, I've got to give old fuzz head credit, he never gives up.

[to a young Felicia]

John Hardesky:
Come in Felicia. What are you doing up at this hour?

Young Felicia:
I like being up late. That's when I get to see you daddy.

John Hardesky:
We're very much alike kitten. We're both most comfortable when we're wrapped in the dark blanket of the night.

Doctor Octopus:
What? How could you have known I was here?

Spider-Man:
Must be my sense of smell.

Doctor Octopus:
Let us see how well developed your pain receptors are.

[after avoiding all of Doctor Octopus' arm attacks]

Spider-Man:
Aww, just a little short of the mark, huh?

[as he pulls the bookcase behind Spider-Man on top of him]

Doctor Octopus:
Wrong!

Felicia:
Why do I always fall for mysterious men? Jason, Michael, Spider-Man. Men who are wrapped in the dark blanket of the night.

[while climbing to the top of a skyscraper]

Spider-Man:
If you want good reception, head for the top of the world, or at least the top of the city.

[after being trapped in a gooey web ball and taken onto S.H.I.E.L.D.]

Spider-Man:
Now I know what it feels like to be vacuumed packed. At least I've gotten them to take me to their castle in the sky.

[after shooting the S.H.I.E.L.D. agent with her gooey web gun]

Spider-Man:
Oh, that'll cut down on my webbing expenses.

John Hardesky:
Where are you taking me?

[disguised as Nick Fury]

The Chameleon:
All you need to know is, somebody went to a lot of trouble to spring you, and it's not because of your charm.

[after kicking the Chameleon]

John Hardesky:
How about my talent?

Peter:
But what do I tell Felicia? Hey, I've got some good news and some bad news. The good news is your father's still alive. The bad is they've locked him up and thrown away the key because he knows too much.

Black Cat:
Heh Heh, knew you'd come, Spider.

Spider-Man:
Who are you?

Black Cat:
Just a stray... Black Cat!

Spider-Man:
You're definitely getting enough vitamins.

[after being thrown by Spider-Man]

Black Cat:
Silly spider, cats always land on their feet.

[Spider-Man web-swings her down on her back]

Black Cat:
Hey, I was just being curious. I wanted to see if I was as strong as you.

Spider-Man:
Well, you know what they say about curiosity.

Black Cat:
Believe me! I also know the value of surprise.

[gasses him with tranquilizer spray]

[after awakening from the Black Cat's knockout gas]

Spider-Man:
Whoever that chick was, she gives new meaning to the word knockout.

John Hardesky:
Tell me, now that you're all grown up, is there anyone special in your life?

Felicia:
Actually, there is someone. He's a lot like you - mysterious.

John Hardesky:
And you have strong feelings for him?

Felicia:
Yes, I'm afraid so.

Black Cat:
Hey spider, care to dance?

Spider-Man:
Not this time.

Spider-Man:
Kingpin? If you work for Kingpin, why don't you want to kill me?

Black Cat:
Who knows? Maybe it's your magnetic personality.

[while trying to free Spider-Man's foot from the gooey material shot from the S.H.I.E.L.D. agent's gun]

Black Cat:
You really put your foot in it this time spider.

[after the Black Cat kicks open a door]

Spider-Man:
Nice touch!

[as he's about to web the door shut, trapping the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents in the building]

Spider-Man:
This'll keep them in there. [runs out of web fluid] Or maybe not.

[as she's about to make their getaway on a motorcycle]

Black Cat:
Need a lift?

[as he puts on a helmet]

Spider-Man:
I've got a feeling I'm going to need this

[after the Black Cat and Spider-Man commandeer a motorcycle]

Biker:
You miserable thieves!

Spider-Man:
We're not thieves. Well, I'm not, but her I'm not so sure about.

Spider-Man:
I hate to be a backseat driver, but this is a one-way street.

Black Cat:
Relax, I'm a New Yorker.

Spider-Man:
Relax doesn't go in the same sentence as New York.

[after the Black Cat jumps the motorcycle over an oncoming bus]

Spider-Man:
You didn't take lessons from a guy named Blade, did you?

[as he sees the approaching S.H.I.E.L.D. agents on their hovercrafts]

Spider-Man:
Uh oh.

Black Cat:
Ever hear the phrase divide and conquer? [they split up]

Spider-Man:
Look, I don't even know who you are.

Black Cat:
Like you I have my secrets, but that doesn't mean you can't trust me.

Spider-Man:
Alright, but we have to return this bike first.

Black Cat:
No problem.

Spider-Man:
And then let's discuss this bad habit you have of taking things that aren't yours.

[as he holds a captured Black Cat hostage]

Doctor Octopus:
Surrender, Spider-Man, unless you want to see if this little cat truly has nine lives.

Black Cat:
Before we go, there's one last thing I have to tell you.

Spider-Man:
Yes?

[pushing Spider-Man out of the way of a laser blast]

Black Cat:
Duck.

Spider-Man:
Duck?

[to the Black Cat as they are caught in the middle of a fight between Kingpin's troops and S.H.I.E.L.D.'s agents]

Spider-Man:
If we stay here, we may take a hit from either side, or both. Personally, I like a little more control over my destiny.

[to the Black Cat as they are about to jump out of Kingpin's hovercraft over the river]

Spider-Man:
We all know how cats feel about water, but I think I can keep your paws dry. [shoots out a web parachute]

Black Cat:
Great working with you spider. Don't be surprised if I cross your path again.

[knocks Spider-Man into the river]

[after getting pushed into the river by Black Cat]

Spider-Man:
What is it with me? Why do woman always leave me high and "wet"? Well, at least when she wasn't looking I put a spider tracer on her. [sees it on his back] Huh? She put it back on me!

Black Cat:
Is this private or can any party animal join the hunt?

[Spider-Man feeds Mariah the antidote, reverting her back to normal.]

Kraven the Hunter:
Calypso?

Mariah Crawford:
[Stands up] Kraven. [Embraces Kraven] My darling.

Spider-Man:
Dr. Crawford?

Mariah Crawford:
Spider-Man.

Kraven the Hunter:
Is there a cure for her? Can she be transformed all the way back to her normal, human self?

Spider-Man:
The only one who could come up with that antidote is Dr. Mariah Crawford herself.

Mariah Crawford:
No! I do not want to change. Don't you understand? [Embraces Kraven] You and I, we are truly kindred spirits now.

Kraven the Hunter:
I do understand.

Mariah Crawford:
We must go.

Spider-Man:
[Stops Kraven and Mariah before they can run off] Go? But where?

Kraven the Hunter:
We will go where we can be free. Perhaps it is better this way. I vow to stay by her side and protect her, always.

[Kraven and Mariah run off, with Spider-Man and Black Cat looking on.]

[Peter knocks on the door.]

Harry Osborn:
[Opens the door and sees Peter] Peter? What are you doing here?

Peter Parker:
You still need a roommate?

Harry Osborn:
Well– it is a big place.

Peter Parker:
I got to figuring. Maybe we need each other right now, old pal.

[Peter and Harry enter the apartment, then close the door.]

[after she knockout a thief with her knockout gas]

Black Cat:
Time for your cat nap.

Baby Silvernmane:
Quickly! Change my diaper.

[Smythe wants Spider-Man to capture the Vulture or the Scorpion, or he won't release the Black Cat]

Spider-Man:
Great! How am I gonna find those two worms in an apple this big?

Scorpion:
There's only one reason I bothered to save your miserable life after your lab went kablooey! It's because I need a science guy like you to turn me back into plain old Mac Gargan!

Vulture:
Fine! Then let me go, so I can cure us both!

Scorpion:
You're gonna stay right where you are, until I can get the money to build us a lab.

Vulture:
Why don't you steal it, bug-boy? Petty crime is your forte.

Scorpion:
No! I told you - I'm going straight!

Vulture:
[laughs] You're going nowhere, Gargan! You're hiding! Maybe you should call yourself "The Cockroach"!

Scorpion:
Nah...

Spider-Man:
Took long enough to snoop you out! Looks like retirement didn't mellow you any-

Scorpion:
Beat it, ya stinkin' yo-yo! I don't have time to joke around!

Spider-Man:
Scorpion, you're gonna listen to me if I have to tie you up with your own tail!

Scorpion:
All right, you want my tail, Spider-Man?! Here - it's all yours! [blasts acid at him]

Scorpion:
Stupid Wall-Crawler! You ruined everything! [Tails Spider-Man and he dodges it] I'm running out of time! [blasts acid at him]

Spider-Man:
[Jumps away from his acid blast] I'm running out of time too!

Black Cat:
Maybe I should take super hero lessons from the Hulk instead!

Black Cat:
So, here's another fine mess we've gotten ourselves into, Ollie.

Spider-Man:
Any bright ideas, partner?

Black Cat:
Did I hear you say "partner"?

Baby Silvermane:
I can't swap energy with him! Stop him!

Alisa:
[points the gun at Spider-Man] Get back into the machine!

Spider-Man:
[Black Cat kicks Alisa away from him] Thanks, partner!

Black Cat:
Don't mention it, partner.

Adult Silvermane:
[Getting older with the Vulture in the machine] Shut off the machine! He's too old!

Smythe:
I have to shut off the main power! [Scorpion blasts the main panel] [to Scorpion] YOU FOOL!

Scorpion:
You ain't gonna do no more works with your machines! [fighting with him]

Alisa:
[runs to Silvermane] Father, no!

Silvermane:
Too old!

The Vulture:
I'm young again! This time, better stay that way!

Smythe:
[kicks Scorpion] Toomes, with no one in the machine, the recombinator will overload! [Shooting the Vulture]

The Vulture:
[flies up and dodge his lasers] Who cares?! I have what I want already! [Smythes shooting him] [flies away] Thanks for the new lease on life, old man! Have a nice rest of your life! [Laughs]

Smythe:
[to Scorpion] You are a freak of nature, whom I shall exterminate!

Spider-Man:
Funny, coming from the cyborg!

Alisa:
I'm sorry it turned out this way, father. But at least you won't have to worry about diapers anymore.

Silvermane:
I wouldn't be so sure about that!

[Black Cat is trying to get a door open]

Spider-Man:
Here, let me do it. This takes muscle.

Black Cat:
[wrenches door open] You're right. It does.

Spider-Man:
You were amazing back there, more than me! I'd be honored to have you fight by my side. Not only that but I'm starting think I really do care about you. Think we could be partners?

Black Cat:
[kisses his cheek] That and maybe more.

Black Cat:
Is this the best you can do? Boring!

Miriam:
I need your plasma to sustain me into the long, long journey.

Blade:
Drop the human now, Night Stalker!

Miriam:
Sunlight!

Blade:
Nothing can protect you this time, vampire!

Miriam:
You can't stop me. Not now!

Blade:
[Looks at the broken locket] No! It can't be! NO!

[trying to steer the Goblin Glider]

Peter:
No wonder Norman went crazy. Trying to steer this things would make anyone nuts!

[to Punisher, while pointing up at the Green Goblin]

Peter:
Well, what do ya know, that must be me up there.

Harry:
[delusional singing] Spider-Man and the Punisher, sitting in a tree! M.J., M.J., M.J. and me...! [cackles]

Punisher:
[to Peter] Your friend Osborn here is a few pumpkins short of a full pie. But, now that you're here, kid, you've still got some explaining to do, and the first thing is: Where is Mary Jane Watson?

Peter:
[thinking] Tell me this doesn't get worse.

Mary Jane:
Peter?

Peter:
Mary Jane! [Hugs Mary Jane] I don't understand!

Harry:
It's yooo-oou!

Peter:
Where were you all this time?!

Mary Jane:
I don't know where I've been, or what's happened! I just knew that I have to find you. [Hugs back to Peter] I love you, Peter.

Peter:
And I love you.

Punisher:
[ to Peter] I have a promise to keep, kid.

Jameson:
Your plundering is gonna get us sliced into fish paste!

[after drowning the robots]

Spider-Man:
Well, that should stop them.

Jameson:
What if they can swim?

Spider-Man:
No way! It's flesh that provides buoyancy, or hot air. Which means you'd never drown.

Jameson:
Why you..

Spider-Man:
Ah, ah, ah! Be nice, I just saved your life, remember?

[to Jameson, before going after Mysterio]

Spider-Man:
Yeah, right. I'd love to listen to you, squid-lips, but I've got another fish to catch. And he comes with his own fishbowl.

[after Mary Jane jumps off a building]

Peter:
Why would you do that?

Mary Jane:
To prove to myself that you'll always be there for me when it really counts. You will, won't you, Peter?

Peter:
Yes. Yes, I will.

Gila:
It's no use. These chains were stolen from above.

Spider-Man:
What they're going do with us?

Gila:
They'll put us in the games.

Spider-Man:
The games?

Gila:
I had hoped our father will come and put an end to the games. But instead... [starts crying]

Spider-Man:
Gila, don't give up. Listen, I know how you came to be. You and the others evolved into what you are now. This is from Doc Connors' DNA. You got it from a fluid that accidentally washed into the sewers-

Gila:
[shocked] An accident? Is that all we are?

Spider-Man:
[embarrassed] I'm sorry... I shouldn't have-

Lizard guardian:
Time for the games!

Spider-Man:
[as he and Gila are dragged away by the guards] Something tells me we're not talking checkers here.

Gila:
[still shocked] An accident? We're nothing but an accident?

Gila:
An accident gave us a chance to live as the humans live! To love! To laugh! But instead, we have chosen stupidity, brutality! We could have been better than them! But instead, we have chosen to act as animals!

Lizard:
What!?

Gila:
So we have chosen... so shall we be! [activates genetic neutron bomb, reverting herself and other lizardmen back into ordinary lizards]

Mary Jane:
What's the matter?

Spider-Man:
With all my super powers, I was helpless. It took three normal women to save the world.

Mary Jane:
Anything wrong with that?

Spider-Man:
No, but I was hoping to be the only one to wear the superhero costume in the family. Of course, it would probably look better on you anyway.

Peter:
Mary Jane, this whole thing only proves to me how dangerous being Spider-Man's wife going to be. Are you sure you want to keep wearing my ring?

Mary Jane:
Bet your life on it, tiger. It will take a lot to be Spider-Man's wife, but I learned something today. If anyone can do it, it will be Mary Jane Watson.

[to the Prowler]

Spider-Man:
Nice claws. You ever hang out with my friend Wolverine?