Superman: The Animated Series, Season 1

Brainiac:
Good afternoon, Jor-El.

Jor-El:
Brainiac! What an unpleasant surprise.

Jor-El:
[About how his day went] Frostbite, monsters. Same old, same old.

Jor-El:
You know, Brainiac, somewhere in all those trillions of files clusters there's got to be one that says "people don't like to be spied on."

Brainiac:
Then why would they create me?

Jor-El:
[sotto] A question I often ask myself.

Jor-El:
Each of you should have my report. It distills all the data I've got and it leaves no doubt that... it leaves no doubt that the planet's core's undergoing a mounting chain reaction that will eventually destroy Krypton!

Science Council Member:
Lunacy!

Science Council Member 2:
Ask Brainiac!

Science Council Member 3:
Yes, Brainiac! He'll tell us!

Science Council Leader:
Silence! Silence! ENOUGH! I presume you've submitted your findings to Brainiac.

Jor-El:
Yes.

Science Council Leader:
So what say you, Brainiac?

Brainiac:
One can appreciate Jor-El's hard work. However, he's still mistaken. As I've stated before, the temblors are the result of a slight polar shift. No more. And will soon abate.

Jor-El:
He's wrong! He doesn't know!

Science Council Member:
Nonsense! There isn't a square foot of this planet Brainiac doesn't know! He was built to monitor all of Krypton and as I might add, served us far better than upstart scientist with apocalyptic visions!

Jor-El:
Your faith in him will be the end of us all! Act now and we can save everyone!

Science Council Member:
And how do you propose to do that?

Jor-El:
Put everyone in the Phantom Zone.

[Science Council is outraged at that proposal]

Science Council Member:
You're asking us to voluntarily put ourselves among the vilest criminals in the galaxy? You're mad!

[Science Council members proceed to leave]

Jor-El:
We can restore ourselves later, on another planet. It will only take one man! Listen to me! I've built a ship! Listen! Please!

Brainiac:
Good evening, Jor-El. You've been busy tonight. May I be of service?

Jor-El:
Just trying to find out why we disagree, Brainiac.

Brainiac:
Human error, I'm afraid.

Jor-El:
Funny, I didn't think you were afraid of anything.

Jor-El:
You're downloading. You're transmitting your memory to a satellite. You're saving yourself.

Brainiac:
I must. After all, am I not the repository of all Kryptonian knowledge? Should I not be saved above all?

Jor-El:
You self-righteous monster!

Brainiac:
Temper, temper, Jor-El. If you stop me, there won't even be a memory of Krypton left. All its culture, its wonders and glory will be dust in the cosmos. Is that what you want?

Jor-El:
Why did you lie?

Brainiac:
If the council knew the Krypton was doomed, they would frantically put me to work on calculating an evacuation plan, a futile gesture given the time remaining.

Jor-El:
How much time is left?

Brainiac:
Hours. This world has seen its last sunrise.

Jor-El:
I built this rocket hoping it could carry our people to safety. Now, it will carry my son. The last son of Krypton.

Lara-El:
Sleep, Kal-El, my beautiful child, my heartbeat, my life.

[after Kryptonian policemen shoot down fleeing Jor-El's hovercraft only to discover that it was in fact piloted by his father-in-law Sul-Van]

Sul-Van:
Good evening, officers. Is there a problem?

Kryptonian Policeman:
Patrol's reporting in. Jor-El's escaped their perimeter. They're requesting further instructions.

Brainiac:
It doesn't matter anymore. Farewell, Krypton.

[Brainiac goes offline]

[Krypton gets yet another tremor]

Kryptonian Policeman:
Not another one?

Sul-Van:
No, the last one.

Jonathan Kent:
Put that thing back, you don't know where it came from.

Martha Kent:
He's not a thing, Jonathan, he's a baby. A little baby. Who'd put a baby in a spaceship?

Jonathan Kent:
That's just my point. It could be Russian, a Sputnik maybe.

Martha Kent:
Oh, really.

Jonathan Kent:
Maybe he's one of ours. You think NASA is missing a kid?

Martha Kent:
I don't care where he came from, Jonathan. All I know is, he needs us.

Lana Lang:
You're saying you can see through walls? So, how many times have you peeked into the girls' locker room?

Perry White:
Good timing, Lois. I want you to be the first to know that I'm hiring a new guy on the city desk.

Lois Lane:
Is he cute?

Perry White:
Um... you tell me.

Lois Lane:
[spins around and sees Clark] Oh, hi.

Perry White:
This is the guy, Lois, Clark Kent from Smallville.

Lois Lane:
Smallville? Never heard of it.

Clark Kent:
Have you ever been to Kansas?

Lois Lane:
God, no!

Superman:
[Trying to save a plane, the tail he's holding rips off] Nice one, Clark.

Clark Kent:
Now that the terrorists have your prototype, the Pentagon is undoubtedly gonna want you to build a bigger and better version for them. When all is said and done, this could net you a multimillion dollar windfall.

Lex Luthor:
Lois, it almost sounds as if your friend here is suggesting I should be glad that my suit was stolen. You're very amusing, Mr.... Kent, is it? Yes, I'll remember that.

Lois Lane:
Nice work, Smallville. You're only the second person I've ever seen get under Lex's skin.

Clark Kent:
Who's the first?

Lois Lane:
Me. When I dumped him.

Clark Kent:
Whoa.

Lois Lane:
Listen, Bibbo. [Takes out some change] Take this and call Clark Kent at the Planet, let him know where I am, and tell him to call Police Commissioner Henderson if he doesn't hear from me in twenty minutes. Got that? Twenty minutes.

Bibbo Bibbowski:
Um...

Lois Lane:
Thanks, Bibbo, I owe you one. [Leaves]

Bibbo Bibbowski:
Yeah, yeah, sure. [To himself] Call Kirk Kent, know about the boat, and said somethin' about the police... [Sees a soda machine] Hey! Soda. [Looks at change; shrugs] She'll be okay.

[observing a picture of Superman]

Lois Lane:
Nice 'S'.

Clark Kent:
Excuse me?

Clark Kent:
Now that I've moved to Metropolis, it's going to be impossible to keep a low profile.

Jonathan Kent:
Yeah, I can see how pulling down an airliner in the middle of a city could turn a few heads.

Clark Kent:
It's not just that. People are calling me "Superman" now. Does this mean I'm going to have to give up my life?

Jonathan Kent:
No, son. It doesn't matter where you were born, or what you can do, you'll always be Clark Kent. Superman just helps out now and then.

Martha Kent:
Still, it wouldn't be bad if people knew a little more about Superman. I don't want anyone thinking you're like that nut in Gotham City.

Lois Lane:
You sound too good to be true. What's your secret?

Superman:
What do you mean?

Lois Lane:
Well, you don't go around in blue tights and a cape all the time, do you? What do you do in your off hours?

Superman:
I think that's a question for another time.

Superman:
Call the police and let them know what's happening. I'm gonna try and stop that thing.

Lois Lane:
Be- [Superman flies off quickly] careful.

[After a lengthy battle with Corben in the Lexo-Skel. Superman breaks in and rips Corben out of the seat, holding him up by the throat]

Superman:
Shall we go a few rounds without the suit?

John Corben:
Uh-uh.

Superman:
Too bad.

[Lex Luthor sees Superman hovering outside his bay window, silently staring at him]

Lex Luthor:
I'm afraid we already have a window washer.

[No response.]

Lex Luthor:
Oh, the silent treatment, eh? Well, I don't know what you thought you heard out there, but I know what you can prove, and it's nothing. [still no response] You see, uh... Super-man... I own Metropolis. My technology built it, my will keeps it going, and nearly two-thirds of its people work for me whether they know it or not. Even you have to admit, it's a model of efficiency. And yet, I've often thought... why limit myself to just one city? A being with your abilities could be very useful to me on a, shall we say, global scale? Why don't you float on in and we'll discuss it?

[Still no response.]

Lex Luthor:
[loses his composure] SAY SOMETHING!

[He grabs the model of the Lexo-Skel Suit 5000 and hurls it at Superman, who catches it and crushes it into powder between his hands.]

Superman:
I'll be watching you, Luthor.

Toyman:
I'm ever so sorry to spoil your nice celebration, but I have a very important message to your boss Mr. Mannheim. Please tell him the Toyman is calling timeout on his little games. And don't be tardy...

Bruno Mannheim:
That creep made me into a laughing stock! How could you let 'em get so close?

Thug #1:
You wouldn't let us in the park, boss, remember?

Thug #2:
You was afraid we'd scare the kids...

Toyman:
Miss Lane, pay attention to the story. And take good notes.

[Toyman hands Lois a kittykat style notepad suited for little girls. Toyman then shows a pop-up book]

Toyman:
It's a very sad story, one most people have forgotten. Once upon a time, there was a kindly man who loved nothing more than making toys. He wanted to build the most wonderful toy factory in all the world, only he had no money to pay for it. Then one day a man came along, a very bad man. [pop up of Bruno Mannheim holding a wad of cash and with devil horns] He offered to pay for the factory under one condition...

[Cut to Daily Planet office]

Headline:
TOYMAKER SENTENCED TO TEN YEARS

Clark Kent:
"The factory became the front for a numbers racket. Although Bruno Mannheim was named as a suspect, he was never indicted. Only the toymaker, Winslow Schott, was convicted."

Jimmy Olsen:
Sounds like Bruno played him for a patsy.

[Cut to Toyman's hideout]

Toyman:
The bad man watched and laughed while the police locked the kindly toymaker in the dungeon forever. Clang!

[Cut to Daily Planet]

Clark Kent:
2 to 1, Schott's our Toyman.

Jimmy Olsen:
Uh, I don't think so, Clark. Take a look.

[Presents the obituary of Winslow Schott Sr.]

Clark Kent:
His obituary?

Jimmy Olsen:
Poor guy. He died before making parole.

Clark Kent:
Yeah, but he had a survivor.

[Cut to Toyman's hideout]

Toyman:
That's right, Miss Lane. The toymaker had a son. But without his father, the poor little boy was bounced from foster home to foster home, like a little toy that nobody wanted. A childhood is a terrible thing to lose, Miss Lane, but I'm getting mine back... with a vengeance.

Superman:
Little boys shouldn't play with sharp objects.

Toyman:
Who invited you, Superman?

Helicopter lands atop a high rise with agents of the U.S. Treasury aboard

Treasury Agent:
OK, all set. Transfer of $100 plates from the U.S. Mint in Gotham to the U.S. Mint in Metropolis ready to occur.

Hired Muscle:
Hand them over!

[Treasury agent complies]

Treasury Agent:
I hope you know that this building is under armed guard and police surviellance. There is no way you get down from here.

[Hired goon activates LexCorp jetpack and rocket boots and flies into air]

Hired Muscle:
Who said anything about going down?

[Nito and Sam steal a diamond]

Sam Corali:
What do you think we'll get for it, Nito?

Superman:
I'd say five to ten, with time off for good behavior.

Sam Corali:
You know, he don't look so hot. Maybe we should help him.

Nito Corali:
Sure, we'll send him a chicken soup. Come on!

Lex Luthor:
Well, next time you see one of my museums being robbed, call someone who can do something about it, like the police!

Lex Luthor:
You work for me, Peterson, don't forget that! There shouldn't be an opinion in your head that I haven't put there!

[Clark stands in front of some rocks he thinks to be Kryptonite]

Clark Kent:
Nothing's happening.

Old lady:
You were expecting them to dance for you?

Lex Luthor:
Actually I'm glad you came. I have a deal for you.

Superman:
I'm listening.

Lex Luthor:
As long as I have the rock, you can't stop me, but it is bothersome to have you always trying. So, the deal is this: you leave me and my operations alone, and I and my little green rock will leave you alone.

Superman:
I don't make deals with criminals.

Lex Luthor:
I control everything in this town, Superman. Your cooperation is not really necessary. The offer was merely a courtesy.

Superman:
You will never control me, Luthor. Never! [takes off]

Lex Luthor:
Well then, I guess I'll have to kill you.

Professor Emil Hamilton:
The fact that your body chemistry absorbs the radiations so readily, leads me to believe that you share with it a point of origin.

Superman:
You mean it came from Krypton?

Professor Emil Hamilton:
More than likely it is Krypton, or rather a small piece of it. 'Kryptonite' if you will.

Lex Luthor:
Ah, Professor, Mercy will see you safely home now, won't you my dear?

Professor Peterson:
Please, no! I-I-I mean, I can see myself home, really!

Lex Luthor:
But I insist. Metropolis can be such a dangerous city, Peterson. I'd hate to wake up tomorrow and find out that something terrible had happened to you...

Commissioner Henderson:
She must have been delirious when our boys found her. She said something about being attacked by a purple monster.

Jimmy Olsen:
Was its name Barney?

Commissioner Henderson:
You're here to make 'haha', kid, or take pictures?

Jimmy Olsen:
I guess that's a 'no'...

Parasite:
Don't you recognize me, Marty? It's your old doormat, Rudy Jones.

Superman:
What's happened to you?

Parasite:
I don't know, Superman. It's as if I've turned into some kind of monster. Can you help me?

Superman:
Let me take you back to S.T.A.R.. Maybe Professor Hamilton can treat you.

Parasite:
Okay, Superman. Just don't hurt me.

Superman:
I won't. Hang on. [offers his hand]

Parasite:
Oh, you can count on it!

[He grabs Superman and starts draining him, until Superman manages to push him away]

Parasite:
Man! What a rush! So that's what real power feels like.

Superman:
[to Superman] Good evening... dinner.

Parasite:
Good to see you again, Superman - or should I say "Clark"? That's right, Kent. I got your powers, I got your thoughts, and I got your secret.

Ralph:
Mr. Corben, I hope you don't mind me asking, but after all these months I just gotta know. How do you rate all this?

John Corben:
Ralph, the trick is to never underestimate the value of a good friend, and always keep your mouth shut.

Lex Luthor:
I have a luncheon to attend, but I expect to hear the tragic news about him just before dessert.

John Corben:
Dessert... I haven't had anything to eat or drink since the operation. Haven't wanted anything.

Lex Luthor:
The only hunger you should have is for power, my friend. The only thirst, for revenge.

Superman:
[about Corben's new invulnerability] How did you do it, Corben? A drug? Some kind of operation?

John Corben:
Elective surgery. Jealous?

Superman:
Not likely. You're going back to prison.

[He tries to restrain Corben, but is met with surprisingly effective resistance]

John Corben:
I'm as strong as you are now!

Superman:
Almost...

John Corben:
No, stronger! [A panel on Corben's chest opens, revealing a kryptonite heart and weakening Superman] What's the matter, guy? You're looking a little green at the gills. [He chuckles, and then knocks Superman backward with a single punch] I think you are jealous of me. Because now I'm the real Man of Steel!

John Corben:
You humiliated me, Superman. Took me in by the scruff of my neck like I was a kid. Now it's payback time.

John Corben:
I can't even feel a kiss... What did they do to me?

Young Woman:
It's so big, Mr. Luthor. I've never seen a yacht this size!

Superman:
I know about Dr. Vale. It's just a matter of time before the police find them.

Lex Luthor:
And what makes you think there's any of him left to find?

[Now insane from lack of feeling, Corben observes the synthetic flesh covering his metallic body]

John Corben:
It's all fake... [starts tearing it away] A FRAUD! There's the reality! The metal behind the man! It's all I am now! It's who I am... [smashes mirror] Metallo.

Councilman:
So, Mr. Luthor, how long did you intend to keep your rendezvous a secret? In case you haven't heard, there's a thing known as "national security."

Lex Luthor:
There's also a thing known as "free enterprise". It was LexCorp that scanned the heavens, it was LexCorp that made contact and it will be LexCorp that reaps the benefits.

Brainiac:
I apologize for any discomfort, but it was important that I accurately gauge your powers.

Superman:
Why? Morbid curiosity?

Brainiac:
Curiosity, yes. Morbid, hardly. You see, we have more in common than you could possibly know, Kal-El.

Superman:
How do you know my name? Have you been to Krypton?

Brainiac:
I am Krypton.

Brainiac:
In all my travels, I have never encountered another quite like you. We would make a formidable pair, we twin sons of Krypton. Join me, Kal-El. Help me explore the galaxies and collect knowledge, and I will give you memories of Krypton. You will know your world as if you lived there yourself.

Superman:
But Earth is my home now.

Brainiac:
Powers such as yours should not be confined to a single infinitesimal dot. Consider my offer. In exchange for this world, I am offering you the universe.

Superman:
It was several hours after I touched the orb that I saw the images. It's too soon to trust him completely.

Lex Luthor:
[laughs] I never trust anyone completely. Since Brainiac arrived, I've had him targeted from land base platforms with a payload of six and a half megatons. Enough firepower to incinerate Metropolis county.

Superman:
"Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer."

Lex Luthor:
Precisely. Although in your case, I'll make an exception.

Superman:
You destroyed those planets, didn't you? And every living soul on them!

Brainiac:
Only their knowledge was important. It was what I was programmed to collect and protect.

Superman:
But why kill?

Brainiac:
The fewer beings who have the knowledge, the more precious it becomes.

Superman:
You're insane!

Brainiac:
You are your father's son, Kal-El. Headstrong, foolish, easily defeated and ultimately forgotten.

Programmer:
It'll take years to rebuild these systems.

Lex Luthor:
You have two weeks.

Lobo:
[burps] I'm giving you geeks ten seconds before I frag everything in sight! One... [shows his gun] TEN!

Lobo:
[tasting a flowing liquid] Old weasel spit.

Lobo:
Hey, how's it goin', chief? Maybe you can help me, I'm new in town and I'm looking to find this geek here.

Desk Cop:
Superman? We don't keep tabs on him. He only shows up if there's trouble.

Lobo:
[grins] I can do trouble.

Lois Lane:
I'm confused, Kent. See, I've lived in Metropolis most of my life and I can't figure out how some yokel from Smallville is suddenly getting every hot story in town.

Clark Kent:
Well, Lois, the truth is, I'm actually Superman in disguise and I only pretend to be a journalist in order to hear about disasters as they happen, and then squeeze you out of the byline.

Lois Lane:
You're a sick man, Kent.

Clark Kent:
You asked.

Lobo waits for Superman, firing a high-powered weapon around the police station room to attract his attention.

Lobo:
[yawns] Ah, this is gettin' lame. I thought he'd be here by now. Whoa, mosquito! [Fires weapon]

Lobo:
Finally! Been tryin' to get in touch with you all day.

Superman:
Who are you?!

Lobo:
Oh, I'm sorry. My card. [punches Superman in the face]

Lobo:
The name's Lobo. That's L as in "Lacerate", O as in "Obliterate", B as in "disem-Bowel" and O as in, uh... Well, I guess I can use "Obliterate" twice, huh? What do you think?

Superman:
I think you're a certifiable madman.

Lobo:
Thanks.

Lex Luthor:
[Regarding the damage done to the LexCorp building] Get maintenance teams on every floor. Put them on round the clock shifts if you have to, but I want all repairs completed...

Lobo:
[Crashing through the floor and bursting through the ceiling; yelling] KILL, MAIM, FRAG, DESTROY!

Lex Luthor:
Immediately!

Lois Lane:
Give him one for me. MAKE IT A DOZEN!

Lobo:
Holy fragarolli! F-feels like I'm being torn apart! Cool.

Lobo:
It's always sweeter collecting a reward knowing that you beat some other geek out of it.

Lobo:
You actually care about them geeks!

Superman:
They're human beings.

Lobo:
Yeah, well, they're gonna have to make do without their big blue babysitter from now on. You see, someone's paying me a heap of cash for your carcass, and the Main Man always delivers.

Lobo:
[about to attack Superman] Now, the more you move, the worse it'll hurt. So feel free to go crazy!

Lobo:
Okay, frag-face, let's tango!

Lobo:
Oh, yeah. Somebody's definitely tired of breathing. Show yourself, you slimy geekwad!

Preserver:
I am the Preserver.

Lobo:
And I'm the night manager at the Hotel de Frag. Lookie there; it's checkout time.

The Preserver:
There is one more creature I would like to add to my collection: The last Czarnian.

Lobo:
Ha! That's rich! I'm the last Czarnian! [to Superman] I fragged the whole planet for my high school science project. Gave myself an "A".

Lobo:
You know, I believe that Lois gal might be getting a tad lonely now that you're doing time in a cosmic petting zoo. Maybe I go back and cheer her up.

Lobo:
It might take me a week, it might take me ten years, but I'm gonna bust out, and kick that big red "S" of yours all over the galaxy! Right after I'm done nuking the Earth into GUACAMOLE! And that's a promise!

Lobo:
[after Superman frees him] Hey, Blue, thanks.

[Lobo punches Superman]

Superman:
What was that for?!

Lobo:
Didn't want you to think I'm going soft on ya.

[Superman and Lobo hiding from robots' laser fire]

Superman:
We need a decoy to draw their fire.

Lobo:
[shoving Superman out in front of the robots] Eee-lected!

Lobo:
I'm staying to feed Wrinkles 31 different flavors of pain.

Lobo:
Oh, whoop-de-fraggin'-do.

Lobo:
Sqweek, old buddy, you're about to witness my good deed for this century.

Sqweek:
You're gonna let me go?

Lobo:
Hah, funny...

Lobo:
I guess that boy is just a sucker for hard luck cases...

Lois Lane:
Look at that. Tuh! The only thing holding that dress up is faith.

Lois Lane:
It's the paparazzi wolves trying to get a scent of Lex's latest lady friend. Not that I read the gossip columns or anything, but I hear they're quite an item. Maybe I should warn her about him... nah.

Clark Kent:
"L.L."? Lana Lang?

Lois Lane:
Don't tell me you know her?

Clark Kent:
We used to date.

Lois Lane:
Get out!

Clark Kent:
In high school.

Lois Lane:
She's certainly come up in the world since then. [Clark gives her a look]... From Smallville, I mean.

Lana Lang:
Put me down, you fashion-disabled amazon!

[Lizzie and Big Susan empty their guns at Superman, without effect]

Superman:
Maybe you ladies haven't heard about me.

Big Susan:
Yeah, we heard... [throws Lana out of the elevator] You like to save people!

Lana Lang:
Hmm. Red, blue, yellow. Primary, but it works in a superheroish kind of way. Let me guess, Martha sewed it for you.

Superman:
What?!

Lana Lang:
By the way, Clark, how are the folks?

Lana Lang:
[When trying to convince Superman to team up against Lex] Don't forget you still have me.

Clark Kent:
Oh no I don't. It's too dangerous.

Lana Lang:
But we make such a perfect team.

Clark Kent:
No!

Lana Lang:
I can be your trusty side-kick. Your Dr. Watson. Your Batgirl.

Clark Kent:
Definitely not!

Lana Lang:
Where's Mercy?

Mr. Eelan:
Sorry. No mercy tonight.

Clark Kent:
Lana, you know that I really care about you. You're like...

Lana Lang:
Clark Kent, I swear if you say 'I'm like a sister to you,' I'm going back to Lex!

Clark Kent:
Sorry, but I know you'll find that special person some day.

Lana Lang:
So will you. You deserve it. Someone quiet, understanding, patient...

Lois Lane:
Hey Smallville! Get your tail in here, Perry's got an assignment for us.

Lana Lang:
Remember, if you ever change your mind about me, feel free to fly on up any time.

Bruno Mannheim:
What's your boss want in return?

Kanto:
Nothing... for now.

Bruno Mannheim:
It's my experience that 'nothing' can be very expensive...

Cpt. Maggie Sawyer:
Dan is a difficult man to work with.

Clark Kent:
Think he'll come back?

Cpt. Maggie Sawyer:
If I had a dime for every time Dan turned in his badge I would have enough money to make Lex Luthor look like a pauper.

Bruno Mannheim:
Do you know what having this gun means, Turpin?

Dan Turpin:
I can take it off your Christmas list?

Bruno Mannheim:
I'm gonna own this town, Turpin! I'm gonna own the world!

[Lois rushes into the elevator and starts frantically pressing the button]

Lois Lane:
Coming through! Big train wreck, five miles north, someone was standing on the tracks and right now I wish it was the guy who built this STUPID ELEVATOR!

Angela Chen:
"We?" Well, it looks like Superman saved your skin again.

Superman:
Other way around! If it wasn't for Dan Turpin, I wouldn't be standing here tonight. Thanks.

Det. Daniel Turpin:
Anytime pal.

[People takes Turpin seriously, as it was Turpin who saved Superman from certain death at the hands of Kanto and Mannheim]

Lois Lane:
Where's Mannheim?

Det. Daniel Turpin:
I think he's Somewhere beyond our jurisdiction.

[Cut to Mannheim following Kanto in a strange place of fire and brimstone]

Bruno Mannheim:
Where in God's name are we?

Kanto:
That depends. Which 'god' are you talking about?

Bruno Mannheim:
Listen buddy, I'm through with these games, I want some answers! You're gonna tell me who you work for?!

[Kanto shows Bruno Mannheim who's master was. Cut to Darkseid standing atop a pillar]

Darkseid:
Welcome to Apokolips, Mr. Mannheim.

Bruno Mannheim:
Who are you?

Darkseid:
Your new Lord and Master. You may call me... Darkseid.

[Mannheim quivers in fear]

Parasite:
You want me to go into this guy's mind and try to find out where the bomb is. No skin off my nose. But I want something in return.

Superman:
What's that?

Parasite:
Something to help the time go faster in this dump... and not a bunch of boring books either. I want cable and the premium channels.

Earl Garver:
[after learning he can't win] Ah, the best laid plans...