Superman: The Animated Series, Season 3

Partygoer:
[Blocked by a bouncer] But... I just gave you a hundred dollars.

Bouncer:
Thank you. Now get behind the rope.

Woman:
[After seeing guard let Volcana in] Hey! What has she got that I haven't got?!

Guard:
Everything.

Donnie:
Whatever it is, I'm gonna have to pass.

Volcana:
Really? [Blows whistle] The whistle was touched by the President's lips.

Donnie:
What wasn't?

Superman:
You have to trust me, Volcana.

Volcana:
Do you know how many times I've heard that? [Throwing fireballs] From my parents, before they shuffled me off to the institute? From the institute, just before they turned me over to the feds, and from the Government, just before they took away my life!

Government Goon:
[Charging up a laser] It's a G-40 blue laser, alien. One shot can penetrate five feet of tempered steel in point-three seconds. I don't think even- [Superman quickly crushes the laser]

Volcana:
Your mom raised you well.

Superman:
I got lucky.

Volcana:
Yeah. You did. [pauses] I hope you'll think of me... especially on those cold, Metropolis nights.

Superman:
Don't you ever cool down?

Volcana:
No. [blows him a fire kiss]

Superman:
I didn't think you were foolish enough to make trouble in my town.

Roxy Rocket:
Well, with Batman missing, the other crooks in Gotham are picking the city clean. I thought I'd try my luck here.

Superman:
Back up. What do you mean, Batman's missing?

Roxy Rocket:
I thought you'd know. Don't all you spandex boys have club meetings or something?

Superman:
We're not exactly friends.

Roxy Rocket:
Aww. I'll be your friend.

Superman:
Sorry, little girl. you're going home.

Superman:
Now, where's your boss?

Robin:
Around.

Superman:
Okay, let's try this another way: where's Bruce?

Commissioner Gordon:
This was taken by airport security two hours ago. I thought you'd be interested. [hands over a photo] [Superman-as-Batman takes it, stares at it nonplussed] [points] Right here. Look familiar?

Robin:
[wanders off a ways, whispers] Bane.

Superman-as-Batman:
Ah, yes. Bane.

Robin:
That was close.

Superman-as-Batman:
[searching the utility belt for a grapple] You're telling me. The sooner we find your boss, the better.

Robin:
Right side.

Renee Montoya:
[about Batman, with Superman in the costume] Does he look bigger to you?

Superman:
[As Superman] We'll start with his computer records.

Robin:
So how'd you do Batman's voice?

Superman:
[As Batman] Precise muscle control. [As Robin] Plus, I have a pretty good ear.

Robin:
[Pauses, creeped out] Don't do that again.

Bane:
On the contrary, I feared you were gone forever, Batman, and that would have meant I'd never feel your spine crumble in my hands.

Superman-as-Batman:
All this sneaking around isn't exactly my style.

Robin:
What do you mean? It's half the fun!

Robin:
See what I mean about him acting strange? He's smiling!

The Penguin:
Even if I did know where to find the Mad Hatter, I'm no stool pigeon. Why should I tell you?

Superman-as-Batman:
A man's life is in danger. Isn't that enough?

The Penguin:
You're breaking my heart.

Robin:
[Whispers] Kick over the desk. [Superman looks uncertain, hesitating, as Superman is not typically a bad cop] Just do it!

Superman-as-Batman:
[Kicks the desk over and into the wall] I won't ask twice.

The Penguin:
All right, no need to get your feathers ruffled. It happens our capped compadre is attending a meeting of notable ne'er-do-wells. They're hatching a plot to capitalize on your... purported disappearance.

Superman-as-Batman:
[Lifts him of the ground by his collar] Where?

Robin:
Now he's gettin' it.

Bane:
By combining our talents, we will rule Gotham City. Anyone we wish to imprison, you, Riddler, will entrap. Any from whom we require allegiance, you, Hatter, will control. And any that stand in our way, I will break.

Riddler:
I've always wanted to team muscle with my mind. And any chance to test my new puzzles, of course.

Bane:
And you, my friend, are you in?

Mad Hatter:
Tweedle-Bane and Tweedle-Brain, if it's all the same, I'll play your game.

[Superman as Batman just broke a massive statue, destroyed a device confining him, and went toe-to-toe with Bane, beating him handily]

Mad Hatter:
It's not possible!

Robin:
He's been workin' out.

Mad Hatter:
Curioser and curioser!

Robin:
He's really being controlled by aliens? Eugh.

Superman:
I'm deeply hurt.

Robin:
Sorry.

Robin:
[seeing Brainiac's spaceship] That looks friendly.

Superman:
Actually, it looks....Kryptonian.

Brainiac:
I suspected that we might meet, Batman.

Superman:
[as Batman] You got into Wayne's computers during his partnership with LexCorp.

Brainiac:
Yes.

Superman:
[as Batman] You saw that his company could built you a rocket, so you took control of Bruce Wayne and had him authorize the project.

Brainiac:
You're every bit the detective that your followers on the Internet believe.

Superman:
[as Batman] I also know how you work: collect a planet's knowledge, then destroy it. I can't allow you to leave.

Brainiac:
What you allow does not concern me. While your deductive skills are impressive, you are still only human.

[Upon discovering that Superman was disguised as Batman]

Brainiac:
Kal-El. This development was highly improbable.

Superman:
Today's been full of surprises.

Batman:
I hear the city's been busy.

Superman:
Nothing the kid couldn't handle. I have to say, for a guy who's supposed to be such a loner, you sure know how to pick a partner.

Scientist:
This is crazy.

Chameleon Boy:
You asked for heroes; you didn't say anything about sanity.

Young Lana Lang:
What's this strange power you have?

Young Clark Kent:
What do you mean?

Young Lana Lang:
The ability to attract every airhead in Smallville!

Kenny Braverman:
[after seeing Brainiac] Whoa! Check out Darth Vader! Que Pasa man? Take a wrong turn at Tatooine?

Brainiac:
[holding Kenny up high] Where does Clark Kent live?

Kenny Braverman:
Clark? What is this?

Brainiac:
Insufficient response. [throws Kenny across the street]

Martha Kent:
[Seeing Jonathan preparing to help Clark] Don't be foolish! You need something better than a shovel!

Chamelon Boy:
Up, up and away! Ha! I always wanted to say that!

Young Clark Kent:
Like a pair of glasses is going to fool anyone.

Young Clark Kent:
[After seeing his future costume] Red underpants? Now I know you're crazy!

Brainiac:
At last, the son of Jor-El kneels before me.

[Darci Mason leaves after Superman saves her from a robot trio]

Superman:
This couldn't have been just some kidnapping attempt. And she knows more than she told the police, I'm sure of it.

Lana Lang:
That's Darcy. She takes reticence to a whole new plateau.

Jimmy Olsen:
Watch out, Clark. You're about to burn a hole in those glasses.

Man:
Hey lady, you can't park there, it's for emergencies only.

Expensive Woman:
Your definition of 'emergency' is way too limited. [car gets smashed by kangaroo]

Darci Mason:
[to Toyman] I'll never love you. Never!

Toyman:
I know there's a place for me in your heart. [charges up a drill] I just have to find it.

Darci Mason:
[to Clark Kent] Didn't I see you at the fashion show? What are you, a stalker?

Clark Kent:
Actually I'm a reporter.

Darci Mason:
Even worse. At least stalkers are honest about what they do.

Toy Guards:
Halt! Friend or foe?

Superman:
[Destroys guards] Foe.

Bizarro:
Oh well. Me save more people tomorrow.

Mr. Mxyzptlk:
[about Bizarro] This is so sad! I can't take it anymore!

Bizarro:
Who there? Where am voice from?

Mr. Mxyzptlk:
The greatest hero in the universe, reduced to saving rocks and playing house! [shows himself] If I'd stayed quiet one more second, I'd need a colossal barf bag!

Bizarro:
Ha! You funny little big head man!

Bizarro:
Hey, you funny little big head man.

Mr. Mxyzptlk:
Mr. Mxyzptlk, at your service.

Bizarro:
Mr. Mzy... pzy...

Mr. Mxyzptlk:
Eh, don't bother, you'll give yourself a hernia.

Lois Lane:
Hey Clark, listen to this. Apparently some nut in a Superman costume just trashed a department store downtown. If I didn't know better I'd say it was-

Bizarro:
[crashes through the wall] Where am Superman!

Clark and Lois:
Bizzaro?!

Superman:
Mxyzptlk?! I thought you promised to stay away from Earth forever!

Mr. Mxyzptlk:
No, no, no. I only promised I wouldn't come back and bother you, and I'm not! Old Rockhead is!

Superman:
And I can guess you got him riled up.

Mr. Mxyzptlk:
[about Superman] You know how it is. Fish gotta swim and birds gotta fly! I've gotta bug that jerk till I die!... Or he does.

[As Bizarro grabs Superman's hand to get up]

Bizarro:
You saved me. Why?

Superman:
Because I knew Mxy tricked you. If it makes you feel better, he's done it to me. A lot.

Superman:
Listen to me, my friend. Mxy's playing you for a fool.

Bizarro:
Little big head man my friend! Him say you enemy.

Superman:
Him lie like rug. Trust me.

Bizarro:
Why bad men shoot at me?

Mr. Mxyzptlk:
Hey, easy on the material, Frankenstein.

Bizarro:
Send bad men away, little big head. Send them away!

Mr. Mxyzptlk:
I'd love to help you, Rocky, but power-wise, my tank is dry.

Bizarro:
[shakes him] Nooooo! Send them away! Do it!

Mr. Mxyzptlk:
[fearful] Kltpzyxm! Kltpzyxm! [nothing happens] Oh, mama, this was a bad idea.

[when Bizarro gets affected by sleeping gas]

Bizarro:
Peaceful.

Superman:
That will keep him quiet till he reaches home.

Bizarro:
Hello, citizens. It good to be back. World am safe. Me see no trouble... Me say, "Me see no trouble".

Mr. Mxyzptlk:
I heard you the first time!

Mr. Mxyzptlk:
[as he dodges the boulder] WATCH IT, YA BIG JERK! Three months of this?! I don't think so! I QUIT!

[Superman looks at his monitor showing Mxyzptlk holding the tree branch from Krypto (alien monster)]

Superman:
[imitating Bizarro] Life am good.

Jax-Ur:
Mesmerizing. Of all the phenomena of nature, none fascinates me more than a black hole. It is the one true force of absolute power. Everything it touches becomes its own.

Cetea:
Plague on you and your self-serving treachery, Alterus.

Alterus:
My dear Cetea, I deserve much worse than that!

Superman:
Although Cetea's people were grateful for my help, I wondered if it wasn't I who should be grateful. They reminded me of a saying: "Evil triumphs when good men do nothing". I won't forget it again.

Lois Lane:
Sure, how many times have you flown to the moon, Smallville?

Perry White:
Lois, have you seen Kyle Rayner?

Lois Lane:
Yeah chief, he was heading to the one place where even my credentials won't get me in. [Kyle is in the men's bathroom]

Kyle Rayner:
Wait! Don't you want to talk first? You know, banter back and forth to show me your innate superiority?

Sinestro:
No.

Sinestro:
How pathetic that Abin would entrust the ring to brutes like these.

Sinestro:
I never give up.

Kyle Rayner:
You never shut up, either.

Kyle Rayner:
There must be someone better suited for the job, like him! [points to Superman]

Guardian:
The ring has chosen you, Kyle Rayner.

Kyle Rayner:
But I'm just an artist. I doodle in the margins of notepads, I daydream about color form and monster trucks. I live half my life in a fantasy world.

Superman:
You sound perfect.

Angela Chen:
Got time for a statement, Superman?

Superman:
You wouldn't want it!

Metallo:
Careful. We don't want to damage our collateral just yet.

Tina:
Speak for yourself. You didn't have to spend an evening with him.

Metallo:
And I thought I was cold-hearted.

Lois Lane:
[After her skirt is caught by the wind] I've gotta start wearing pants.

Lois Lane:
Are you nuts?! That was a great white!

Aquaman:
Lucky he was passing by. I've got ten more circling us right now.

Lois Lane:
Hope they're not hungry.

Aquaman:
Want me to ask them?

Lois Lane:
It sounds like your 'assets' are getting kicked.

Kara Kent:
Spider powers? Eww!

Kara Kent:
The Metropolis Meteors made me their honorary bat girl. Won't Barbara be jealous?

Reverend Howell:
Nations fall and demigods fade, but only unity is absolute, all encompassing, and eternal.