Superman: The Animated Series, Season Three

Partygoer:
(Blocked by a bouncer) But... I just gave you a hundred dollars.

Bouncer:
Thank you. Now get behind the rope.

Fence:
Whatever it is, I'm gonna have to pass.

Volcana:
Really? (Blows whistle) The whistle was touched by the President's lips.

Fence:
What wasn't?

Superman:
You have to trust me, Volcana.

Volcana:
Do you know how many times I've heard that? (Throwing fireballs) From my parents, before they shuffled me off to the institute? From the institute, just before they turned me over to the feds, and from the Government, just before they took away my life!

Government Goon:
(Charging up a laser) It's a G-40 blue laser, alien. One shot can penetrate five feet of tempered steel in point-three seconds. I don't think even- (Superman quickly crushes the laser)

Volcana:
Your mom raised you well.

Superman:
I got lucky.

Volcana:
Yeah. You did. [pauses] I hope you'll think of me... especially on those cold, Metropolis nights.

Superman:
Don't you ever cool down?

Volcana:
No.

Superman:
I didn't think you were foolish enough to make trouble in my town.

Roxy Rocket:
Well, with Batman missing, the other crooks in Gotham are picking the city clean. I thought I'd try my luck here.

Superman:
Back up. What do you mean, Batman missing?

Roxy Rocket:
I thought you'd know.W: Don't all you spandex boys have club meetings or something?

Superman:
We're not exactly friends.

Roxy Rocket:
Aww. I'll be your friend.

Superman:
Where's your boss?

Robin:
Around.

Superman:
Okay, let's try this another way: where's Bruce?

Commissioner Gordon:
This was taken by airport security two hours ago. I thought you'd be interested. [hands over a photo]

Superman-as-Batman:
[takes it, stares at it nonplussed]

Commissioner Gordon:
[points] Right here. Look familiar?

Robin:
[wanders off a ways, whispers] Bane.

Superman-as-Batman:
Ah, yes. Bane.

Robin:
That was close.

Superman-as-Batman:
[searching the utility belt for a grapple] You're telling me. The sooner we find your boss, the better.

Robin:
Right side.

Montoya:
(about Batman, with Superman in the costume) Does he look bigger to you?

Robin:
So how'd you do Batman's voice?

Superman:
[As Batman] Precise muscle control. [As Robin] I also have a pretty good ear.

Robin:
[Pauses, creeped out] Don't do that again.

Superman-as-Batman:
All this sneaking around isn't exactly my style.

Robin:
What do you mean? It's half the fun!

Robin:
See what I mean about him acting strange? He's smiling!

The Penguin:
Even if I did know where to find the Mad Hatter, I'm no stool pigeon. Why should I tell you?

Superman-as-Batman:
A man's life is in danger. Isn't that enough?

The Penguin:
You're breaking my heart.

Robin:
[Whispers] Kick over the desk. [Superman looks uncertain, hesitating] Just do it!

Superman-as-Batman:
[Kicks the desk over and into the wall] I won't ask twice.

The Penguin:
All right, no need to get your feathers ruffled. It happens our capped compadre is attending a meeting of notable ne'er-do-wells. They're hatching a plot to capitalize on your... purported disappearance.

Superman-as-Batman:
[Lifts him of the ground by his collar] Where?

Robin:
Now he's gettin' it.

Bane:
By combining our talents, we will rule Gotham City. Anyone we wish to imprison, you, Riddler, will entrap. Any from whom we require allegiance, you, Hatter, will control. And any that stand in our way, I will break.

[Superman as Batman just broke a massive statue, destroyed a device confining him, and went toe-to-toe with Bane, beating him handily]

Mad Hatter:
It's not possible!

Robin:
He's been workin' out.

Mad Hatter:
Curioser and curioser!

Robin:
He's really being controlled by aliens? Eugh.

Superman:
I'm deeply hurt.

Robin:
Sorry.

Robin:
[seeing Brianiac's spaceship] That looks friendly.

Superman:
Actually, it looks....Kryptonian.

Brainiac:
[to Batman (Superman in disguise)] You're every bit the detective that your followers on the Internet believe.

[Upon discovering that Superman was disguised as Batman]

Brainiac:
Kal-El. This development was highly improbable.

Superman:
Today's been full of surprises.

Batman:
I hear the city's been busy.

Superman:
Nothing the kid couldn't handle. I have to say, for a guy who's supposed to be such a loner, you sure know how to pick a partner.

Chamelon Boy:
Up, up and away! Ha! I always wanted to say that!

Clark:
Like a pair of glasses is going to fool anyone.

Clark:
(After seeing his future costume) Red underpants? Now I know you're crazy!

[Darcy Mason leaves after Superman saves her from a robot trio]

Superman:
This couldn't have been just some kidnapping attempt. And she knows more than she told the police, I'm sure of it.

Lana Lang:
That's Darcy. She takes reticence to a whole new plateau.

Darcy:
(to Toyman) I'll never love you. Never!

Toyman:
I know there's a place for me in your heart. (charges up a drill) I just have to find it.

Darcy:
(to Clark Kent) Didn't I see you at the fashion show? What are you, a stalker?

Clark Kent:
Actually I'm a reporter.

Darcy:
Even worse. At least stalkers are honest about what they do.

Mr. Mxyzptlk:
(about Bizarro) This is so sad! I can't take it anymore! The greatest hero in the universe, reduced to saving rocks and playing house!

Bizarro:
Hey, you funny little big head man.

Mr. Mxyzptlk:
Mr. Mxyzptlk, at your service.

Bizarro:
Mr. Mzy... pzy...

Mr. Mxyzptlk:
Eh, don't bother, you'll give yourself a hernia.

Lois:
Hey Clark, listen to this. Apparently some nut in a Superman costume just trashed a department store downtown. If I didn't know better I'd say it was-

Bizarro:
[crashes through the wall] Where am Superman!

Clark and Lois:
Bizzaro?!

Superman:
Mxyzptlk?! I thought you promised to stay away from Earth forever!

Mr. Mxyzptlk:
No, no, no. I only promised I wouldn't come back and bother you, and I'm not! Old Rockhead is!

Mr. Mxyzptlk:
(about Superman) Fish gotta swim and birds gotta fly! I've gotta bug that jerk till I die!... Or he does.

(As Bizarro grabs Superman's hand to get up)

Bizarro:
You saved me. Why?

Superman:
Because I knew Mxy tricked you. If it makes you feel better, he's done it to me. A lot.

(when Bizarro gets affected by sleeping gas)

Bizarro:
Peaceful.

Superman:
That will keep him quiet till he reaches home.

Mr. Mxyzptlk:
(as he dodges the boulder) WATCH IT, YA BIG JERK! Three months of this?! I don't think so! I QUIT!

(Superman looks at his monitor showing Mxyzptlk holding the tree branch from Krypto (alien monster))

Superman:
(imitating Bizarro) Life am good.

Jax-Ur:
Mesmerizing. Of all the phenomena of nature, none fascinates me more than a black hole. It is the one true force of absolute power. Everything it touches becomes its own.

Green Lantern:
Wait! Don't you want to talk first? You know, banter back and forth to show me your innate superiority?

Sinestro:
No.

Kyle Rayner:
There must be someone better suited for the job, like him! (points to Superman)

Guardian:
The ring has chosen you, Kyle Rayner.

Kyle Rayner:
But I'm just an artist. I doodle in the margins of notepads, I daydream about color and form and monster trucks. I live half my life in a fantasy world.

Superman:
You sound perfect.

Lois Lane:
(After her skirt is caught by the wind) I've gotta start wearing pants.

Lois:
Are you nuts?! That was a great white!

Aquaman:
Lucky he was passing by. I've got ten more circling us right now.

Lois:
Hope they're not hungry.

Aquaman:
Want me to ask them?

Kara:
Spider powers? Eww!