Supernatural, Season 1

Sam:
I swore I was done hunting for good.

Dean:
Come on, it wasn't easy, but it wasn't that bad.

Sam:
Yeah? When I told Dad I was scared of the thing in my closet, he gave me a .45.

Dean:
Well, what was he supposed to do?

Sam:
I was nine years old. He was supposed to say, "Don't be afraid of the dark."

Dean:
Don't be afraid of the dark? What, are you kidding me? Of course you should be afraid of the dark! You know what's out there!

Sam:
I swear, man, you gotta update your cassette tape collection.

Dean:
Why?

Sam:
Well, for one, they're cassette tapes. And two: Black Sabbath, Motörhead, Metallica?! It's the greatest hits of mullet rock.

Dean:
House rules, Sammy. Driver picks the music; shotgun shuts his cake hole.

Sam:
You know, Sammy is a chubby twelve-year-old. It's Sam, okay?

Dean:
Sorry, can't hear you. The music's too loud.

Sam:
Hey, Dean. What I said earlier, about Mom and Dad, I'm sorry.

Dean:
[holds up hand to stop Sam] No chick flick moments.

Sam:
Alright...jerk.

Dean:
Bitch.

Sheriff Pierce:
So you want to give us your real name?

Dean:
I told you, it's Nugent. Ted Nugent.

Sheriff Pierce:
I'm not sure you realize just how much trouble you're in here.

Dean:
We talking, like, misdemeanor kind of trouble? Or, uh... "squeal like a pig" kind of trouble?

Dean:
You can pretend all you want, Sammy. But sooner or later you're going to have to face up to who you really are.

Sam:
And who is that?

Dean:
One of us.

Sam:
We cannot let that Hailey girl go out there.

Dean:
Oh yeah? What are we gonna tell her? That she can't go into the woods because of a big scary monster?

Sam:
Yeah.

Dean:
Her brother's missing, Sam. She's not just gonna sit this out. Now we go with her, we protect her, and we keep our eyes peeled for our fuzzy predator-friend.

Sam:
Finding Dad's not enough? [slams trunk] Now we gotta babysit too?

Hailey:
And you're hiking out in biker boots and jeans?

Dean:
Sweetheart, I don't do shorts.

Dean:
You wanna tell me what's goin' on in that freaky head of yours?

Sam:
Dean...

Dean:
No, you're not fine, you're like a powder keg, man, it's not like you. I'm supposed to be the belligerent one, remember?

Dean:
This is why. [Holds up their dad's journal] This book. This is Dad's single most valuable possession. Everything he knows about every evil thing is in here. And he's passed it on to us. I think he wants us to pick up where he left off, you know, saving people, hunting things. The family business.

Sam:
That makes no sense. Why, why doesn't he just call us? Why doesn't he tell us what he wants; tell us where he is?

Dean:
I dunno. But the way I see it, Dad's given us a job to do and I intend to do it.

Sam:
Dean, no. I gotta find Dad. I gotta find Jessica's killer. It's the only thing I can think about.

Dean:
Ok, alright, Sam, we'll find them, I promise. Listen to me. You've gotta prepare yourself. I mean, this search could take a while, and all that anger, you can't keep it burning over the long haul, it's gonna kill you. You gotta have patience, man.

Sam:
How do you do it? How does Dad do it?

Dean:
Well, for one... them. [Looks over at Hailey and her brother] I mean, I figure our family's so screwed to hell; maybe we can help some others. Makes things a little more bearable. I'll tell you what else helps: Killing as many evil sons of bitches as I possibly can.

Hailey:
Must you cheapen the moment?

Dean:
Yeah.

Andrea:
[Looking at Dean] Must be hard with your sense of direction. Never being able to find your way to a decent pickup line.

Sam:
"Kids are the best"? You don't even like kids.

Dean:
I love kids.

Sam:
Name three children that you even know.

[Dean thinks and Sam begins to walk away. Dean scratches his head]

Dean:
I'm thinking!

Dean:
So crayons is more your thing? That's cool. Chicks dig artists. Hey, these are pretty good. You mind if I sit and draw with you for a while? I'm not so bad myself. You know, I think you can hear me, you just don't want to talk. I don't know exactly what happened to your dad, but I know it was something real bad. I think I know how you feel. When I was your age, I saw something...anyway...well, maybe you don't think anyone will listen to you, or uh...or believe you. I want you to know that I will. You don't even have to say anything, you could draw me a picture about what you saw that day with your dad on the lake.

Lucas:
[continues drawing]

Dean:
Okay, no problem. This is for you [Hands Lucas the picture he drew] This is my family. [Points to the people he drew] That's my dad. That's my mom. That's my geek brother, and that's me. Alright, so I'm a sucky artist. I'll see you around, Lucas.

Dean:
You're scared. It's okay, I understand. See, when I was your age, I saw something real bad happen to my mom, and I was scared, too. I didn't feel like talking, just like you. But see, my mom - I know she wanted me to be brave. I think about that every day. And I do my best to be brave. And maybe...your dad wants you to be brave, too.

[Dean puts a box of sandwiches in the car.]

Dean:
All right, if you're gonna be talking now, this is a very important phrase, so I want you to repeat it one more time.

Lucas:
Zeppelin rules!

Dean:
That's right. Up high. [Holds his hand up for a high-5] You take care of your mom, okay?

Lucas:
All right.

Andrea:
[Kisses Dean] Thank you.

Dean:
[Embarrassed] Sam, move your ass. We're gonna run out of daylight before we hit the road.

Sam:
So what, all of this never keeps you up at night? [Dean shakes his head] Never. You're never afraid? [Dean shakes his head again]

Dean:
No, not really. [Sam reaches under Dean's pillow and pulls out a knife] That's not fear. That is precaution.

Sam:
Ah, whatever. I'm too tired to argue.

Sam:
Yeah, I know what an EMF Meter is, but why does that one look like a busted up walkman?

Dean:
[proudly] Cause that's what I made it out of. It's homemade.

Sam:
[sarcastically] Yeah, I can see that.

[Dean looks hurt]

Sam:
Alright it's time for plan B. We're getting on that plane.

Dean:
Wha… what? Hang on a second-

Sam:
Dean, that plane is leaving with over a hundred passengers on board, and if we're right, that plane is gonna crash.

Dean:
I know.

Sam:
Well, okay. We need to get on the plane, we need to find that demon and exorcise it. Look, I'll get the tickets and you just go get whatever you can from the trunk, whatever will get past security, and meet me back here in five minutes. [Dean looks shocked] You okay?

Dean:
No, not really.

Sam:
What? What's wrong?

Dean:
Well, I kinda have this problem with, um... [makes the movement of plane taking off with his hands]

Sam:
Flying?

Dean:
It's never really been an issue until now.

Sam:
You're joking, right?!

Dean:
Do I look like I'm joking? Why do you think I drive everywhere, Sam?

Sam:
Alright, uhh… I'll go.

Dean:
What?!

Sam:
I'll do this one on my own.

Dean:
Are you nuts? You said it yourself, that plane's gonna crash.

Sam:
Look, Dean, we can do it together, I can do this one by myself. I'm not seeing a third option here.

Dean:
Come on! Really? Man...

Sam:
Are you humming Metallica?

Dean:
Calms me down.

Sam:
Look man, I get you're nervous alright, but you gotta stay focused.

Sam:
What if she's already possessed?

Dean:
There's ways to test that. I brought holy water.

Sam:
No, I think we can go more subtle. If she's possessed she'll flinch at the name of God.

Dean:
Uhh, nice [stands up]

Sam:
Hey!

Dean:
What?

Sam:
Say it in Latin.

Dean:
Yeah, I know [Begins to leave]

Sam:
Hey!

Dean:
What?!

Sam:
Uhh... In Latin, it's Christo.

Dean:
Dude, I know, I'm not an idiot.

Sam:
Hey, night vision? [Sam looks at Dean through the digital camera's night vision]

Dean:
Do I look like Paris Hilton?

Dean:
Alright, you know what? That's it! [pulls car over and turns to face Sam] This is about Jessica, isn't it? [Sam says nothing] You think that's your dirty little secret? That you killed her somehow? [Sam is silent] Sam, this has got to stop, man. I mean the nightmares and... and calling her name out in the middle of the night. It's gonna kill you. Now listen to me, it wasn't your fault. If you want to blame something, then blame the thing that killed her. [still no response from Sam] Alright, why don't you take a swing at me? I'm the one who dragged you away from her in the first place.

Sam:
I don't blame you.

Dean:
Well, you shouldn't blame yourself, 'cause there was nothing you could've done.

Sam:
I could have warned her.

Dean:
About what? You didn't know it was gonna happen. Besides, all of this isn't a secret. I know all about it. It's not gonna work with Mary anyway.

Sam:
No you don't.

Dean:
I don't what?

Sam:
You don't know all about it. I haven't told you everything.

Dean:
[looks slightly confused] What are you talking about?

Sam:
Well, it wouldn't be a secret if I told you, would it?

Dean:
[shocked] No... I don't like it. It's not gonna happen. Forget it.

Sam:
Dean, that girl back there is going to die unless we do something about it. And you know what? Who knows how many people are going to die after that? Now, we're doing this. You've got to let me do this.

Dean:
[after surveying the room with all the broken mirrors] Hey, Sam?

Sam:
Yeah?

Dean:
This has gotta be like, what, 600 years bad luck?

Sam:
Charlie? [Charlie turns around] Your boyfriend's death. You really should try to forgive yourself. No matter what you did, you probably couldn't have stopped him. Sometimes bad things just happen. [Charlie acknowledges and leaves]

Dean:
[taps Sam on the shoulder and he turns around] That's good advice.

Dean:
Hey, Sam?

Sam:
Yeah?

Dean:
Now that this is all over, I want you to tell me what that secret was.

Sam:
Look, you're my brother. And I'd die for you. But there are some things I need to keep to myself.

Dean:
...then head south, Bisbee by midnight. [seeing no reaction from Sam] Sam wears women's underwear.

Dean:
I hate to say it, but that's exactly what I'm talking about. You lied to your friends because if they knew the real you, they'd be freaked. It's just... It'll be easier if...

Sam:
...I was like you.

Dean:
Hey man, like it or not we're not like other people. But I'll tell you one thing. This whole gig... [takes out gun] it ain't without perks.

Shapeshifter as Dean:
I am your brother. See, deep down, I'm just jealous. You got friends. You could have a life. Me? I know I'm a freak. And sooner or later, everybody's gonna leave me. [He backs away.]

Sam:
What are you talkin' about?

Shapeshifter as Dean:
You left. Hell, I did everything Dad asked me to, and he ditched me, too. No explanation, nothin', just poof. Left me with your sorry ass.

Dean:
That better be you Sam and not that freak of nature.

Sam:
Yeah, it's me. He went to Becca's house... Looking like you.

Dean:
Well he's not stupid, he picked the handsome one.

Dean:
Sorry man.

Sam:
About what?

Dean:
I really wish things could be different you know? I wish you could just be... Joe College.

Sam:
Nah, it's ok. You know, the truth is even at Stanford, deep down I never really fit in.

Dean:
Well that's 'cause you're a freak.

Sam:
Yeah, thanks.

Dean:
Well, I'm a freak too. I'm right there with you... All the way.

Sam:
[chuckles] Yeah, I know you are.

Dean:
Your, uhh, half-caff double vanilla latte's getting cold over here, Francis.

Sam:
Bite me.

Dean:
I told him you were a dumbass pledge and that we were hazing you.

Sam:
What about the shotgun?

Dean:
I said that you were hunting ghosts and spirits were repelled by rock salt. You know, typical Hell Week prank.

Sam:
And he believed you?

Dean:
Well you look like a dumbass pledge.

[at a frat party.]

Dean:
Man, you've been holding out on me, this college thing is awesome!

Sam:
This wasn't really my experience.

Dean:
Let me guess - libraries, studying, straight A's.

[Sam nods.]

Dean:
What a geek.

[preparing to search.]

Dean:
Alright, take your pick.

Sam:
I'll take the house.

Dean:
Okay. Hey, stay out of her underwear drawer.

Dean:
[digging up Karn]That's it! Next time, I get to watch the cute girl's house.

Lori:
Oh God! Too Martha Stewart?

Taylor:
Here! Wear this!

Lori:
Um...I don't know if this is really "me"

Taylor:
Lori! There's a hot chick buried in there somewhere! Damn girl! He's not gonna know what hit him!

Lori:
Ok! That's probably him! So I'm gonna go downstairs!

Taylor:
Don't do anything I wouldn't do!

Lori:
There's nothing you wouldn't do!

Taylor:
It's true!

Dean:
Hunting's our day job. And the pay is crap.

Sam:
Yeah, but hustling pool, credit card scams... It's not the most honest thing in the world, Dean.

Dean:
Well let's see. Honest... fun and easy. [pause] It's no contest. Besides, we're good at it, it's what we were raised to do.

Sam:
Yeah, well, how we were raised was jacked.

Sam:
Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease.

Dean:
Huh? [confused]

Sam:
Human Mad Cow Disease.

Dean:
Mad Cow.... wasn't that on Oprah?

Sam:
You watch Oprah?

[Dean looks embarrassed.]

Larry:
Let me just say. We accept home owners of any race, religion, color or... sexual orientation.

Dean:
We're brothers.

[later, another agent approaches the Winchesters]

Real Estate Agent:
We accept home owners of all race, religion, color, or... sexual orientation.

Dean:
Right. Um, I'm going to go talk to Larry. Okay, Honey? [smacks Sam on the butt]

Sam:
I respected him. But no matter what I did, it was never good enough.

Dean:
So what are you saying? That Dad was disappointed in you?

Sam:
Was? Is... and always has been.

Dean:
Why would you think that?

Sam:
Because I didn't want to bow hunt...or hunt spirits because I wanted to go to school and live my life, which in our whacked out family made me the freak.

Dean:
You know, you're kinda like that blonde chick in The Munsters

Sam:
Dean, you know what most dads are when their kids score a full ride? Proud. Most dads don't toss their kids out of the house.

Dean:
I remember that fight. In fact, I seem to recall a few choice phrases comin' out of your mouth.

Sam:
You know, truth is, when we finally do find Dad… I don't know if he's even gonna wanna see me.

Dean:
Sam, Dad was never disappointed in you. Never. He was scared.

Sam:
What are you talkin' about?

Dean:
He was afraid of what could've happened to you if he wasn't around. But even when you two weren't talkin'…he used to swing by Stanford whenever he could. Keep an eye on you. Make sure you were safe.

Sam:
What?

Dean:
Yeah.

Sam:
Why didn't you tell me any of that?

Dean:
Well, it's a two-way street, dude. You could've picked up the phone.

Sam:
Joe White Tree? [The man nods.] We'd like to ask you a few questions, if that's all right.

Dean:
We're students from the university.

Joe:
No, you're not. You're lying. [Dean seems taken aback.]

Dean:
Well, truth is-

Joe:
You know who starts sentence with "truth is"? Liars. [Dean exchanges a look with Sam.]

Sam:
Have you heard of Oasis Plains? It's a housing development near the Atoka Valley.

Joe:
[to Dean] I like him. He's not a liar.

Dean:
[to his Dad's voicemail] Dad, I know I've left messages before. I don't even know if you get 'em. But I'm with Sam and we're in Lawrence and there's something in our old house. I don't know if it's the thing that killed Mom or not... but... [tears up] I don't know what to do. So whatever you're doing, if you could get here...please. I need your help, Dad.

Missouri:
Don't worry about a thing, your wife's crazy about you. [client leaves] Whoo, poor bastard. His woman is cold-banging the gardener.

Dean:
Why didn't you tell him?

Missouri:
People don't come here for the truth, they come for good news.

Missouri:
Sam, oh honey. I'm sorry about your girlfriend. And your father... he's missing.

Sam:
How'd you know all that?

Missouri:
Well, you were just thinking it, just now.

Dean:
Where is he? Is he okay?

Missouri:
I don't know.

Dean:
Don't know? You're supposed to be a psychic, right?

Missouri:
Boy, you see me sawing some bony tramp in half?! You think I'm a magician?! I may be able to read thoughts and sense energies in a room but I can't pull facts out of thin air.

Missouri:
Boy you put your foot on my table and I'm gonna whack you with a spoon!

Dean:
I didn't do anything!

Missouri:
You were thinking about it!

Dean:
Mom?

Mary:
Dean. Sam. I'm sorry.

Sam:
For what?

Mary:
[to poltergeist] You get out of my house. And let go of my son.

Missouri:
That boy… he has such powerful abilities. But why he couldn't sense his own father, I have no idea.

John:
Mary's spirit -- do you really think she saved the boys?

Missouri:
I do. John Winchester, I could just slap you. Why won't you go talk to your children?

John:
I want to. You have no idea how much I wanna see 'em. But I can't. Not yet. Not until I know the truth!

Dean:
Hey Sam, who do you think is a hotter psychic? Patricia Arquette, Jennifer Love Hewitt, or you?

Dean:
Let me know if you see any dead people, Haley Joel.

Kat:
Hey, Gavin?

Gavin:
Yeah?

Kat:
If we make it out of here alive, we are so breaking up.

Dean:
Sam, put the gun down

Sam:
[possessed] Is that an order?

Dean:
No, just a friendly request.

Dean:
Really? You really hate me that much. Well, here. [hands Sam his pistol] This'll do the job a lot better than rock salt. Go on, Sam, pull the trigger. Shoot me! DO IT!

[Sam pulls the trigger, and it clicks on empty. Dean lunges at him, gets the gun away, and knocks him unconscious.]

Dean:
Dude, I'm not gonna give you a loaded gun.

Dean:
When someone says a place is haunted, don't go in.

[Sam has woken up after Dean has burned Ellicott's bones.]

Dean:
You're not gonna try to kill me, are you?

Sam:
No.

Dean:
Good. 'Cause that would be awkward.

Sam:
Dean, if this demon killed Mom and Jess, and Dad's closing in, we've gotta be there. We've gotta help.

Dean:
Dad doesn't want our help!

Sam:
I don't care.

Dean:
He's given us an order.

Sam:
[firmly] I don't care. We don't always have to do what he says.

Dean:
Sam, Dad is asking us to work jobs, to save lives, it's important.

Sam:
Alright, I understand, believe me, I understand. But I'm talking one week here, man, to get answers. To get revenge.

Dean:
All right, look, I know how you feel.

Sam:
Do you? [Dean seems shocked at Sam's tone] How old were you when Mom died? Four? Jess died six months ago. How the hell would you know how I feel?

Dean:
Dad said it wasn't safe. For any of us. I mean, he obviously knows something that we don't, so if he says to stay away, we stay away.

Sam:
I don't understand the blind faith you have in the man. I mean, it's like you don't even question him.

Dean:
Yeah, it's called being a good son!

[Sam gets out of the car and starts getting his stuff out of the trunk]

Dean:
You're a selfish bastard, you know that? You just do whatever you want. Don't care what anybody thinks.

Sam:
That's what you really think?

Dean:
Yes, it is.

Sam:
Well, then this selfish bastard is going to California.

Dean:
Come on, you're not serious.

Sam:
I am serious.

Dean:
It's the middle of the night! Hey, I'm taking off, I will leave your ass, you hear me?

Sam:
That's what I want you to do.

Dean:
Goodbye, Sam.

Sam:
The scarecrow crawled off its cross?

Dean:
I'm telling you, Burkitsville, Indiana - Fun Town.

Dean:
I hope your apple pie is freakin' worth it!

Emily:
So what's the plan?

Dean:
I'm working on it.

[several hours later.]

Emily:
You don't have a plan, do you?

Dean:
I'm working on it...

Dean:
How'd you get here?

Sam:
I stole a car.

Dean:
That's my boy!

Dean:
Should I drop you off somewhere?

Sam:
No, I think you're stuck with me.

Dean:
What made you change your mind?

Sam:
I didn't. I still want to find Dad...And you're still a pain in the ass. But Jess and Mom...they're both gone. Dad is God knows where. You and me. We're all that's left. So, uh, if we're gonna see this through...we're gonna do it together.

Dean:
Hold me, Sam. That was beautiful.

Sam:
You should be kissing my ass - you were dead meat back there.

Dean:
Yeah right. I had a plan - I'd have gotten out.

Sam:
Right.

Dean:
Have you ever watched daytime TV? It's terrible.

Sam:
(sighs) I talked to your doctor.

Dean:
That fabric softener teddy bear. Oooh! I'm gonna hunt that little bitch down.

Sam:
Dean.

Dean:
Yeah, alright. Well, it looks like you're going to leave town without me.

Sam:
What are you talking about? I'm not leaving you here.

Dean:
Hey, you better take care of that car or I swear I'll haunt your ass.

Sam:
I don't think that's funny.

Dean:
Ah, come on. It's a little funny. (pause) Look Sammy, what can I say, man? It's a dangerous gig. I drew the short straw. That's it, end of story.

Sam:
Don't talk like that, alright. We still have options.

Dean:
What options? You got burial or cremation. I know it's not easy, but I'm gonna die and you can't stop it.

Sam:
Watch me.

Dean:
I'm not gonna die in a hospital where the nurses aren't even hot.

Dean:
You're not gonna let me die in peace are you?

Sam:
I'm not gonna let you die period! We're going!

Dean:
Why? Why me? Out of all the sick people, why save me?

Roy:
Well, like I said before, the Lord guides me. I looked into your heart, and you just stood out from all the rest.

Dean:
What did you see in my heart?

Roy:
A young man with an important purpose. A job to do. And it isn't finished.

Dean:
Layla. I'm not much the prayin' type, but... I'm gonna pray for you.

Layla:
Well, there's a miracle right there.

Sam:
Oh, and you might also want to mention that other thing.

Dean:
What other thing?

Sam:
The serious unfinished business. Dean, what is going on between you two?

Dean:
Alright, so maybe we were a little bit more involved than I said.

Sam:
Oh, OK. Yeah.

Dean:
Okay, a lot more. Maybe. And I told her the secret about what we do, and I shouldn't have.

Sam:
No, look, man, everybody's gotta open up to someone, sometime.

Dean:
Yeah, I don't. It was stupid to get that close, and look how it ended. Would you stop? Blink or something.

Sam:
You loved her.

Dean:
Oh, God.

Sam:
You were in love with her, but you dumped her. Oh, wow. She dumped you.

Dean:
Get in the car.

Sam:
You TOLD her?! The big family secret? Rule number one - we do what we do and shut our mouths about it? For a year and a half I do nothing but lie to Jessica and you go out with this chick in Ohio a couple of times and you tell her everything? [Dean is silent] DEAN!

Dean:
Yeah! Looks like...

Sam:
And you think this vanishing truck ran him off the road?

Cassie:
[embarrassed] Oh, when you say it aloud like that... Listen, I'm a little skeptical about this…ghost stuff, or whatever it is you guys are into.

Dean:
[chuckling] Skeptical. Yeah, if I remember, I think you said it was nuts.

Sam:
Dean, where are you?

Dean:
I'm in the middle of nowhere with a killer truck up my ass!

Dean:
So I guess I saved you from a boring existence!

Sam:
Occasionally I miss boring!

Dean:
So this killer truck...

Sam:
I miss conversations that didn't start with "this killer truck"

Dean:
Maybe? Maybe! What if you were wrong?

Sam:
Huh. Honestly, that thought hadn't occurred to me!

Dean:
(mocking Sam) "It honestly didn't occur to me?" (hangs up he phone) I'm gonna kill him!

Sam:
You mean you dated someone? For more than one night?

Dean:
Am I speaking a language you're not getting here?

Dean:
Don't leave the house.

Cassie:
Don't go getting all authoritative on me, I hate it.

Dean:
Don't leave the house, please?

Sam:
Well, I know one thing I have in common with these people.

Dean:
What's that?

Sam:
Both our families are cursed.

Dean:
Our family's not cursed. We just... had our dark spots.

Sam:
[chuckles] Our dark spots are pretty dark.

Dean:
You're...dark.

Sam:
We're not gonna kill Max.

Dean:
Then what? I hand him over to the cops and say, "Lock him up, officer, he kills with the power of his mind."

Sam:
Well, I'll tell you one thing. We're lucky we had Dad.

Dean:
I never thought I'd hear you say that.

Sam:
Well, he could've gone a whole 'nother way after Mom. A little more tequila, a little less demon-hunting, and we would've had Max's childhood. All things considered, we turned out okay-thanks to him.

Dean:
All things considered.

Sam:
Aren't you worried, man, aren't you worried that I could turn into Max or something?

Dean:
Nope. No way. You know why?

Sam:
No. Why?

Dean:
'Cause you've got one advantage that Max didn't have.

Sam:
Dad? Because Dad's not here, Dean.

Dean:
No. Me. (He smiles.) As long as I'm around, nothing bad is gonna happen to you.

Dean:
I know what we need to do about your premonitions. I know where we have to go.

Sam:
Where?

Dean:
Vegas. [Sam 'harrumphs' and walks out] What? Come on man! Craps table? We'd clean up!

Deputy Kathleen:
So, Gregory.

Dean:
Yeah.

Deputy Kathleen:
I ran your badge number. It's routine when we're working on a case with State Police, for accounting purposes and what have you.

Dean:
Mmhmm.

Deputy Kathleen:
And, uh, they just got back to me... says here your badge was stolen. And there's a picture of you. :[turns the screen towards Dean, on which there is a picture of a portly, African-American police officer. There is a long silence]:

Dean:
I lost some weight. And I got that... Michael Jackson skin disease...

Pa Bender:
But the best hunt is human. Oh, there's nothin' like it. Holdin' their life in your hands. Seein' the fear in their eyes just before they go dark. Makes you feel powerful alive.

Dean:
You're one sick puppy.

Pa Bender:
Tell me, any other cops gonna come lookin' for you?

Dean:
Eat me. Oh no no no wait wait wait, you actually might.

Dean:
Don't ever do that again.

Sam:
Do what?

Dean:
Go missing like that.

Sam:
You were worried about me!

Dean:
I'm just saying, you vanish like that again and I'm not looking for you.

Sam:
Sure you won't.

Dean:
No I'm not.

Sam:
So you got sidelined by a 13-year old girl?

Dean:
Shut up.

Sam:
I'm just saying, getting a little rusty there aren't you, kiddo?

Dean:
Shut up!

Pa Bender:
You hurt my family, I'm gonna bleed you, bitch.

Deputy Kathleen:
You killed my brother.

Pa Bender:
Your brother. [laughs] Now I see.

Deputy Kathleen:
Just tell me why.

Pa Bender:
Because it's fun. [laughs again]

[Deputy Kathleen shoots him]

Dean:
I talked to the bartender.

Sam:
Did you get anything...besides her number?

Dean:
Dude, I'm a professional. I'm offended that you would think that (smiles and chuckles as he displays a napkin with her phone number)...All right.

Sam:
You mind doing a little thinking with your upstairs brain, Dean?

Sam:
I'm just saying, there's something about this girl I can't quite put my finger on.

Dean:
But I bet you'd like to. Maybe she's not a suspect, maybe...maybe you've got a thing for her. Maybe you're thinking a little too much with your upstairs brain.

Dean:
What are you gonna do?

Sam:
I'm gonna watch Meg.

Dean:
[laughing] Yeah, you are.

Sam:
I just wanna see what's what. Better safe than sorry.

Dean:
All right, you little pervert.

Sam:
Dude.

Dean:
I'm goin', I'm goin'.

Dean:
You wanna go back to school?

Sam:
Yeah, once we're done huntin' the thing.

Dean:
Huh.

Sam:
Why, is there somethin' wrong with that?

Dean:
No. No, it's, uh, great. Good for you.

Sam:
I mean, what are you gonna do when it's all over?

Dean:
It's never gonna be over. There's gonna be others. There's always gonna be somethin' to hunt.

Sam:
But there's got to be somethin' that you want for yourself-

Dean:
Yeah, I don't want you to leave the second this thing's over, Sam.

Sam:
Dude, what's your problem?

Dean:
Why do you think I drag you everywhere? Huh? I mean, why do you think I came and got you at Stanford in the first place?

Sam:
'Cause Dad was in trouble. 'Cause you wanted to find the thing that killed Mom.

Dean:
Yes, that, but it's more than that, man. You, me, Dad. I want us to be together again. To be a family again.

Sam:
Dean. We are a family. I'd do anything for you. But things will never be the way they were before.

Dean:
Could be.

Sam:
I don't want them to be. I'm not going to live this life forever. Dean, when this is all over, you're gonna have to let me go my own way.

[Dean looks sad]

Dean:
Hey, Sam…?

Sam:
Hmm?

Dean:
Next time you want to get laid…find a girl that's not so buckets of crazy, huh?

Dean:
What's the matter, You afraid you gonna get a little Nair in your shampoo again, huh?

Sam:
All right. Just remember you started it.

Dean:
Oh, bring it on, baldy.

Sam:
And after his time, too. The reversed cross has been used by Satanists for centuries, but this sigil of sulfur didn't show up in San Francisco until the sixties. [Dean looks at him strangely]

Dean:
This is exactly why you never get laid.

Ed:
This stuff right here-this is our ticket to the big time. Fame, money, sex. With girls, okay? Be brave. Okay, WWBD. What would Buffy do? Huh?

Harry:
What would Buffy do? I don't know, but, Ed, she's stronger than me.

[Sam and Dean walk up to Hell House, noticing an ambulance and police cars parked around it]

Dean:
What happened?

Men:
Couple of cops say that poor girl hung herself in the house.

Sam:
Suicide?

Man:
Yeah. But she was a straight-A student. And a full ride to UT, too. It just don't make sense. [walks off]

Sam:
What are you thinkin'?

Dean:
I'm thinkin' we missed something.

[after Ed and Harry leave, explaining that they have to meet a producer for rights to a movie]

Dean:
[laughing] Wow.

Sam:
I have a confession to make. I'm the one who called them up and told them I was a producer. [both laugh]

Dean:
Well, I'm the one who put the dead fish in their back seat.

[Both laugh]

Sam:
Truce?

Dean:
Yeah, truce... at least for the next hundred miles.

Dean:
Well, maybe he's [their father] gonna meet us there.

Sam:
[scoffs] Yeah, cause he's been so easy to find at this point.

Dean:
You're a real smart ass, you know that? [pauses] Don't worry, I'm sure there's something in Fitchberg worth killing.

Sam:
Yeah? what makes you so sure?

Dean:
Because I'm the oldest... which means I'm always right.

Sam:
No, it doesn't.

Dean:
Yeah, it totally does.

Sam:
I'm surprised you didn't draw on him right there.

Dean:
Yeah, well, first of all, I wasn't gonna open fire at a freakin' pediatrics ward.

Sam:
Good call.

Dean:
Second, it wouldn't have done any good cause the bastard's bullet-proof unless he's chowing down on something, and third, I wasn't packing, which is probably a good thing, 'cause I probably would have just burned a clip in him just out of principle alone.

Sam:
Getting wise in your old age, Dean.

Dean:
Well, we'll be right in the next room. We're gonna come in with guns, so as soon as we do, you roll off this bed and crawl under it.

Michael:
What if you shoot me?

Dean:
[shakes head] We won't shoot you. We're good shots. We're not gonna fire until you're clear, okay?

[Michael nods]

Dean:
Have you ever heard a gunshot before?

Michael:
Like in the movies?

Dean:
This is gonna be a lot louder than in movies so I want you to stay under the bed, cover your ears. Do not come out till we say so, you understand?

Sam:
Hey, Dean, I'm sorry.

Dean:
[looks confused] For what?

Sam:
You know. I know I've given you a lot of crap for always following Dad's orders. But I know why you do it.

Dean:
Oh God... kill me now.

Sam:
It's too bad.

Dean:
No, they'll be fine.

Sam:
It's not what I meant. I meant Michael. [pauses] He'll always know that there are things out there in the dark. He'll never be the same. You know... [pauses again] sometimes I wish that... [trails off]

Dean:
What?

Sam:
I wish I could have that kind of innocence.

Dean:
[pauses] Well if it means anything, sometimes I wish you could too.

Dean:
[about Sarah] Alright, you like her; she likes you. You're both consenting adults.

Sam:
What's the point Dean? We'll just leave. We always leave.

Dean:
Well, I'm not talking about marriage, Sam.

Sam:
You know what, I don't get it. What do you care if I hook up?

Dean:
'Cause then maybe you wouldn't be so cranky all the time.

Dean:
You know, seriously, Sam, this isn't just about hooking up, okay? I mean, I, I think that this Sarah girl could be good for you. And I don't mean any disrespect, but I'm-I'm sure that this is about Jessica, right? Now I don't know what it's like to lose somebody like that, but I would think that she would want you to be happy; God forbid, have fun one in awhile. Wouldn't she?

Sam:
Yeah, I know she would. Yeah, you're right - part of this is about Jessica, but not the main part.

Dean:
What's it about? [Sam is silent] Yeah, alright.

Sam:
Sarah, you saw that painting move.

Sarah:
No...no... I, I was seeing things. It's impossible

Dean:
Yeah, well, welcome to our world

Sarah:
Is there something here between us, or am I delusional?

Sam:
You're not delusional.

Sarah:
But, there's a but coming.

Sam:
But, I don't think this is a good idea.

Sarah:
Can I ask why?

Sam:
'Cause I like you.

Sarah:
Wait... you lost me.

[both laugh]

Sarah:
So, why did the girl do it?

Sam:
Killing others, killing herself. Some people are just born tortured. So when they die, their spirits are just as dark.

Dean:
[on cell] How're we gonna waste her?

Sam:
I dunno, she was already cremated, there's nothin' left to burn.

Dean:
Well then how's she still around?

Sam:
There must be somethin' else.

Sarah:
Sam wait! We used to handle antique dolls at the auction.

Sam:
Well that's fascinating Sarah, but important right now?

Sarah:
Well back then, they used to make the dolls in the kid's image, I mean everything, like they, they would use the kid's real hair!

Sam:
Dean? Sarah says the doll might have the girl's real hair. Human remains, same as bones.

Sam Winchester/Dean:
The mausoleum!

Sam:
What kind of house doesn't have salt? Low sodium freaks!

Sarah:
Um...Sam? You're the expert on all this "ghost stuff"! Should the painting look like that? Where's the little girl?

Sam:
And the razor...Dean!

Dean:
Sam? (calls him)

Sam:
(answers the phone) Hey!

Dean:
Please tell me you slammed the front door!

Sam:
No I think it's the little girl!

Dean:
Little girl? What little girl?

Sam:
The girl from the painting! I think it was her all along!

Dean:
Wasn't the dad looking down at her? Well maybe he was trying to warn us!

Sam:
Yeah, yeah, yeah! Lets re-cap later!

Sarah:
Sam?!?!?!

Dean:
"Vampires nest in groups of eight to ten, smaller packs are sent out to hunt for food. Victims are taken to the nest, where the pack keeps them alive, bleeding them for days or weeks." Wonder if that's what happened to that 911 couple.

Sam:
That's probably what dad's thinking. [sullenly] 'Course, it'd be nice if he just told us what he thinks.

Dean:
So it is starting.

Sam:
What?

Dean:
Sam, we've been looking for dad all year. Now we're not with him for more than a couple hours and there's static already?

Sam:
[scoffs] No. Look, I'm happy he's okay, alright? And I'm happy that we're all working together again.

Dean:
Well, good.

Sam:
...it's just the way he treats us, like we're children.

Dean:
[rolls his eyes] Oh, God.

John:
Sammy.

Sam:
What?

John:
I don't think I ever told you this, but the day you were born, d'you know what I did?

Sam:
No.

John:
I put a hundred bucks into a savings account for you. I did the same thing for your brother. It was a college fund. And every month I'd put in another hundred dollars, until- Anyway, my point is, Sam, that, this was never the life I wanted for you.

[...]

Sam:
Hey, Dad, whatever happened to that college fund?

John:
Spent it on ammo.

[Both laugh]

Dean:
What happens if you die? Dad, what happens if you die and we coulda done something about it? You know, I've been thinking, and I think maybe Sammy's right about this one. I think we should do this together. We're stronger as a family, dad, we just are, you know it.

John:
We're running out of time. You do your job and you get out of the area. That's an order.

John:
So boys.

Sam:
Yes, sir.

John:
You ignored a direct order back there.

Sam:
Yes, sir.

Dean:
Yeah, but we saved your ass.

[beat]

John:
You're right.

Dean:
I am?

Dean:
For the last time, what happened to them is not your fault.

Sam:
Yeah, you're right, it's not my fault, but it's my problem!

Dean:
No, it's not your problem, it's our problem!

John:
Okay. That's enough.

Meg:
Well, I've lied... a lot. I've stolen. I've lusted. And the other day I met this man - a nice guy, you know? And we had a really good chat...sort of like this. Then I slit his throat and ripped his heart out through his chest. Does that make me a bad person?

Meg:
John, you made it. Too bad, really. I was hoping to kill more of your friends.

John:
Sorry to disappoint.

Meg:
I can see where your boys get their good looks. But I must admit, considering what they say about you, I thought you'd be…taller. [John says nothing] Well, aren't you the chatty one? You wanna get to business? Fine. Why don't you hand over the gun?

John:
If I give you the gun, how do I get out of here?

Meg:
Well, if you're as good as they say you are, I'm sure you'll figure something out.

John:
Maybe I'll just shoot you.

Meg:
You wanna shoot me, baby? Go ahead. It won't end anything. There's more where I came from.

...

Meg:
You're dead, John. Your boys are dead.

John:
I never used the gun, how could I know it wouldn't work?

Meg:
I am so not in the mood for this, I've just been shot!

John:
Well then, I guess you're lucky the gun wasn't real.

Meg:
That's funny, John. We're gonna strip the skin from your bones, but that was funny.

Sam:
Dean, uh, I want to thank you.

Dean:
For what?

Sam:
For everything. You've always had my back, you know. Even when I couldn't count on anyone, I could always count on you. And, uh, I just wanted to let you know, just in case.

Dean:
Whoa, whoa, whoa, you kidding me?

Sam:
What?

Dean:
Don't say just in case something happens to you, I don't want to hear that freaking speech, man. Nobody's dying tonight, not us, not that family, nobody. Except that demon. That evil son of a bitch ain't getting any older than tonight, understand me?

Sam:
If you had just let me go in there, I could have ended all this.

Dean:
Sam, the only thing you would have ended was your life.

Sam:
You don't know that.

Dean:
So, what, you're just willing to sacrifice yourself, is that it?

Sam:
Yeah. Yeah, you're damn right I am.

Dean:
Yeah, well, that's not gonna happen-not as long as I'm around.

Sam:
What the hell are you talkin' about, Dean? We've been searching for this demon our whole lives. It's the only thing we've ever cared about.

Dean:
Sam, I wanna waste it. I do, okay? But it's not worth dyin' over.

Sam:
What?

Dean:
I mean it. If huntin' this demon means you gettin' yourself killed, then I hope we never find the damn thing.

Sam:
That thing killed Jess. That thing killed Mom.

Dean:
You said yourself once….that no matter what we do, they're gone. And they're never comin' back.

Sam:
Don't you say that! Don't you-not after all this, don't you say that!

Dean:
[emotionally] Sammy, look…the three of us-that's all we have. And that's all I have. Sometimes I feel like I'm barely holdin' it together, man. Without you and Dad...

Meg:
No more crap, okay? I want the Colt, Sam-the real Colt. Right now.

Sam:
We don't have it on us. We buried it.

Meg:
Didn't I say, "No more crap"? I swear, after everything I heard about you Winchesters, I've got to tell you, I'm a little underwhelmed. First, Johnny tries to pawn off a fake gun, and then he leaves the real gun with you two chuckleheads. Lackluster, men. I mean, did you really think I wouldn't find you?

Dean:
Actually, we were counting on it. Gotcha.

John:
Killing this demon comes first. Before me, before everything.

Sam:
(looks at wounded Dean) No sir. Not before everything.

John (possessed):
He's gonna taste the iron in your blood.

Dean:
Let him go, or I swear to God...

John (possessed):
What? What are you and God gonna do? You see as far as I'm concerned, this is justice. You know that little exorcism of yours? That was my daughter. The one in the alley? That was my boy. You understand?

Dean:
You got to be kidding me.

John (possessed):
What? You the only one that can have a family? You destroyed my children. How would you feel if I killed your family? Oh, that's right, I forgot I did. Still, two wrongs don't make a right.

Dean:
You son of a bitch.

Sam:
I wanna know why. Why'd you do it?

John (possessed):
You mean why'd I kill mommy and pretty little Jess?

Sam:
Yeah

John (possessed):
[to Dean] You know I never told you this, but Sam was going to ask her to marry him. Been shopping for rings and everything. You wanna know why? Because they got in the way.

Sam:
In the way of what?

John (possessed):
My plans for you, Sammy, you, and all the children like you.

Dean:
Listen, you mind just getting this over with, because I really can't stand the monologuing.

John (possessed):
Funny, but that's all part of your MO isn't it? Mask all that nasty pain, mask the truth.

Dean:
Oh yeah? What's that?

John (possessed):
You know you fight, and you fight for this family, but the truth is, they don't need you, not like you need them. Sam, he's clearly John's favorite. Even when they fight its more concern than he's ever shown you.

Dean:
I bet you're real proud of your kids too huh? Oh wait, I forgot, I wasted them.

Dean:
You and dad are a lot more alike then I thought, you know that? You both can't wait to sacrifice yourself for this thing, but you know what? I'm gonna be the one to bury you.

Dean:
To tell you the truth, I wasn't sure if we should come.

Bobby:
Nonsense. Your daddy needs help.

Dean:
Yeah, but last time we saw you, I mean, you did threaten to blast him full of buckshot. Cocked the shotgun and everything.

Bobby:
Yeah, well, what can I say? John just has that effect on people.

What kind of house doesn’t have salt? Low sodium freaks!