Tenacious D

Jack:
Sometimes you follow your heart. Sometimes your heart cuts a fart. That's the Cosmic Shame.

Kyle:
[as Jack measures him] Jack, our world tour is just around the corner. We've gotta make a list of our backstage demands! [looks down at a notepad] Okay, M&M's-- 2 red for every blue; 7 strippers, 3 for Kyle, 3 for Jack, one floater--

Jack:
And one retired astronaut. [Kyle chuckles] Kyle, could you stretch out your arm? I'm measuring you for our tuxes.

Kyle:
[stretches his arm] For what?

Jack:
For Grammy night, buddy; you don't wanna go lookin' like a hayseed. [both laugh] Right? Right.

Jack:
You can't manufactor Inspirado... it arise from stillness of quietude. When your heart mingles with your soul oh man they do the dance.

Jack:
Sometimes you have to leave your zone of saftey, you have to manufactor Inspirado. You gotta get out of the apparement. You've got to run with the wolves. You have to dive into the ocean bite with the sharks, or sometimes just treat yourself to an icecream sundae with nuts.

Jack:
Let's kick it. I'll say "Kick it," and you'll just kick it with a tasty groove, ok? One, two, three, kick it. Kick it. Come on, god DAMMIT. GOD, KYLE. COULD YOU ONE TIME KICK IT, WHAT THE FUCK?

Jack:
Kyle, if I was in a wheelchair, would you visit me? Feed me? Brush my teeth?

Kyle:
Yes.

Jack:
Would you read to me?

Kyle:
Why couldn't you read?

Jack:
Just don't want to.

Kyle:
Yes.

Jack:
Would you take a bullet for me?

Kyle:
No.

Jack:
Oh my! Officer, what brings you here?

Kyle:
We support our local police!

Kyle:
[about Flarna] What's she like?

Jack:
She's totally into Satan.

Kyle:
You love Satan.

Jack:
I know. She's got her spine pierced.

Kyle:
Dude, you're totally into spinal piercing.

Jack:
And she loves to clog.

Kyle:
[Looking for Jack's guitar pick] I got it.... no wait, that's a bottle cap.

Jack:
Kyle. Did you look underneath THE BAR?

Kyle:
Yeah, nothing.

Paul:
Ok, you guys, seriously, sincerely, you have to get out of here. We're closed.

Jack:
Look, tomorrow when you're cleaning the floor if you find...

Paul:
We only clean on holidays.

Jack:
Rocketsauce will keep you rockin' all day and night.

Kyle:
Hey Jack, are they're any side effects?

Jack:
Yeah, the usual you rock out, then you... itch like a mother f***er.