That's So Raven, Season 1

Eddie:
(about Mr. Petracelli) That cracking thing he does with his neck is nasty. My grandmother does that with her toes.

Raven (to Eddie):
Okay, my parents have to meet with Petracelli and they are going to freak! How am I going to tell them?

Eddie:
Just fake being sick. They can't get mad if you're sick.

Raven:
I stopped doing that kind of stuff when I was 8. It's brilliant!

Eddie:
(about Raven in her disguise) You don't even look like your mom. You look like you ate your mom.

Cory (to Raven):
I need to use your bathroom.

Raven:
Um, what's wrong with the one downstairs?

Cory:
Dad just used that one.

Raven:
Say no more!

Raven:
I just had the best vision!

Eddie:
Ooh, did it involve me and Hallie Berry?

Raven:
No. I see things that are actually going to happen.

Victor:
Cory, what happened?

Cory:
Let's not point, but it's all Raven's fault! (points at Raven)

Eddie (to Cory & Miles):
What are you two wearing?

Cory:
Miles' grandpa says this is how the players dress in Florida.

Eddie:
Looks like your grandpa played you!

Raven:
Mom, if you love me, you'll start dragging my sorry butt home right now!

Tanya:
I'm going to talk to your father first and we'll see how sorry your butt is!

Raven (to Chelsea):
Do your parents listen to you?

Chelsea:
They kinda have to, Rae, they're both therapists. It's just kind of freaky when they tell me my times up and they'll see me next week.

Eddie:
(to Cory) Well, look at it this way. In four years, you'll be fourteen, but then Chelsea will be nineteen and she still won't be looking your way. But by then, I'll be dating college girls!

Raven:
Dad, this is part of my morning routine. Take a bath, brush my teeth, fight with Cory, eat a muffin.

Eddie:
Relax, Raven. My brother he says he hates me all the time.

Raven:
Eddie, your brother is two. All he can say is "I hate you" and "I have poopy in my pants."

Cory (to Raven):
How would you like me to make that flower a permanent part of your head?

Raven:
Can you reach it?

Tanya:
Today, we are going to be working on "Romeo and Juliet." Can anyone tell me what this play is about?

Raven:
Boy likes girl, girl likes boy. They both die. Cry, cry, cry. The end.

Raven (to Chelsea):
We're going in. (tries to open the door) No, we're not. It's locked.

Chelsea:
Ugh, it's locked!

Raven:
I just said that.

Chelsea:
I know.

Eddie:
Wait, wait, Rae Rae Did you have a vision? No, a vision about me dating a cheerleader? Or another cheerleader?

Raven:
Eddie, I have visions, not fantasies.

Chelsea:
[gasps] Raven!

Raven:
[gasps] Oh! I have the answers to Eddie's test!

Chelsea:
No, you said Didi! That's my aunts name!

Chelsea:
So what do you want, Rae?

Raven:
You know what? I want you to be the one who's psychic so I'll be the one asking you, "So, watcha gonna do?"

Chelsea:
Oh. So, watcha gonna do?

Chelsea:
Yeah! Who wants to go party with the boys when you can come over to Rae's and have a nice study party!

Eddie:
[sarcastically] Yeah, and afterwards, maybe we can sit around, do each other's toenails, and share our feelings!

Raven:
So, Chelsea, what are we playing for?

Chelsea:
Yes, we're playing for a nice cold root beer! Courtesy of...your mom and dad! Yes, your mom and dad! Makers of you and Cory.

Cory:
[speaking in Spanish] Stupido, stupido, stupido!

Raven:
I hear your students might be switching to French!

Senorita Rodriguez:
French! I bet that new French teacher is behind this! Madam What's-Her-Face! I don't trust that woman. She's about as French as French fries and yet she prances around with her croissants and her international coffee like She's. All. That.

Raven:
[trying to tell Eddie he got the wrong test] You see what happened is they gave your Uncle Louie the wrong test! You see, so they gave him a completely wrong test! So, he got a totally wrong test! You see? Comprende?

Eddie:
[not understanding] I don't have an Uncle Louie.

Senorita Rodriguez:
Raven, we're about to take a test!

Raven:
But-

Senorita Rodriguez:
Raven, Eddie obviously doesn't care about his Uncle Louie!

Senorita Rodriguez:
Well, Eddie, you're done early.

Eddie:
Yeah, well Spanish always comes easy to a brother.

Senorita Rodriguez:
[speaks to him in Spanish]

Eddie:
Uh...salsa?

Eddie:
(sees Raven and Chelsea swinging outside) What are you doing?

Raven:
(whispers) You got the...wrong answers.

Chelsea:
(whisper) Your teacher...she changed the test!

Eddie:
What?

Raven:
Don't make us...

Chelsea:
say it again.

Eddie:
What am I gonna do? I don't know this stuff!

Raven:
Just do...

Chelsea:
the best...

Raven and Chelsea:
you can!

Raven:
Excuse me, but I think mayonnaise in my sardine sandwich I had for lunch went BAD, so uh, I wanna apologize for any discomfort I might cause you young ladies. If you have perfume I'd spray it NOW!

Eddie:
Hurry up!

Raven:
Okay, okay, how do I look?

Eddie:
You have your mother's hair.

Raven:
[giggles] I've been told that, and--

Eddie:
NO NO, you have your mother's HAIR.

Raven:
Oh oh, okay, is my hair okay NOW?

Raven:
Where you going?

Chelsea:
To get something to drink.

Raven:
[loud enough for Eddie and Corey to hear] Oh, I'll get something for you. Don't worry about that, Chelsea! [Eddie and Corey give her a baby bottle from behind the door] Here you go. There. I'll make sure it's good for you.

Chelsea:
Thanks, but I was thinking something more like a soda.

Raven:
Soda? Girl, do you know that stuff is bad for you? Milk brings strong bones. Got to work on it. I'll even join you... [they give her a soda from behind the door] with a nice soda.

Chelsea:
[takes soda from Raven] Thanks.

Raven:
Think about it, Chels-- you against Ben Sturky? Girl, you do the math. [has vision of Chelsea losing against Ben] Actually, math isn't my very best subject.

[Chelsea is sitting on the stage waiting for election results and Raven is standing behind the curtain]

Raven:
Come on, Chels, you gotta talk to me sometime.

Chelsea:
No, I don't. Go away!

Raven:
I'll hit you.

Chelsea:
You will not! [Raven punches Chelsea from behind the curtain] OW!

Raven:
Ben, you stink. Okay, look, I’m sorry.

Ben:
I do?

Raven:
Hasn't anybody ever told you that before?

Ben:
Well, my mom...but that's just my mom. She thinks my dad smells too.

Raven:
Interesting.

Raven:
28 minutes and 19 seconds; that's how long me and my nose have been in there. The good news, we finished the project. The bad news, we have to burn the couch.

Eddie:
Cuddles died?

Raven:
Yeah, he died the same way he lived, on the wheel.

Chelsea (to Cory):
Do you still wear those pajamas? You know, the ones with the bunny feet, baby?

Cory:
Well, baby, if that's what turns you on.

Eddie (rapping):
I may be sitting in the seat, soaked my feet, but this homeboy's got you beat. Ah-ha! You can say all you want, make funny faces, but you're nothing but sad rapping cousins. You think you're so smart (pointing one guy) you get F's and D's (points to another guy) and your grades so low man, you get straight Z's. I might be sittin' through spit and spray, but that doesn't even matter cause I'm gonna get an A.

Raven (to Sam):
Don't worry. She likes you, you lucky dog!

Raven (looks at Eddie's pink and heart embroided shirt):
I like that...I have that!

Eddie:
It was either this or a tube top.

Raven:
Reservations for Raven? (Eddie glares at her) You should really get a cell phone, alright?

Chelsea:
Rae, I don't think this petticoat seems very royal.

Raven:
Well, if the royal queen doesn't want her royal hiney to be stuck by a royal pin, she's going to be royally quiet, alright, okay.

Gabriel:
Hey.

Raven:
Hey!

Gabriel:
Uh, no. Hay, stuck in your hair.

Cory:
PILLOW FIGHT!!

Raven:
Okay, she's almost here. Which ones, these or these?

Chelsea:
Rae, you always freak out every time your cousin Andrea comes in from Europe.

Raven:
Girl, I am fine. I just need to know what hat says, you know, "Thanks for coming, but you need to go back to Paris."

Chelsea:
Rae, she's only gonna be here for a little while.

Raven:
Okay, I understand that, but does this belt say, "Just because we're relatives doesn't mean I have to like you"?

Raven:
Okay, okay, I know I shouldn't of said that we were going out but she made me so mad. Can't you just be my boyfriend for one week? What's the big deal?

Eddie:
Because in a week, Andrea will be gone. You had a vision. Now, I had that same vision. I want that kiss, you promised me that kiss.

Raven:
Okay, Eddie, I just can't back down now. She will never let me live it down.

Eddie:
But I'm a man. I have feelings. I need to be held, Rae

Raven:
Okay, Eddie, don't make me come down there and...(Andrea walks in Raven's room) give you the biggest hug my Eddie bear has ever had!

Eddie:
What?! She's there isn't she?

Raven:
Oh, I miss you too, Pookie

Eddie:
Okay, now, Rae, that's it. I'm drawing the line at "Pookie"

Andrea:
You remember that pony I had?

Raven:
Yeah

Andrea:
Made it up

Raven:
Well you remember that soccer trophy I had?

Andrea:
Uh huh

Raven:
Garage sale. $2.50.

Raven:
I love this picture of me and my folks. We were so happy

Chelsea:
Where's Cory?

Raven:
He wasn't born yet. That's why we were so happy.

Mr. Pretracelli:
All right, all right, all right. One last thing. I'm sure you'll be disappointed to know that I won't be here tomorrow. (Mr. Petracelli and the class sarcastically groans) But, Ms. Simmons will be substituting. You know, the one who plays movies because she doesn't care about you're education. (Mr. Petracelli and the class shouts Yay!) Now remember, even though I'm gone tomorrow, I will be watching. (Mr. Petracelli and the class goes ooh)

Dad:
"Tell your mother everything is fine."

Raven:
"Hey, Mom! We haven't eaten for days, your plants are dead, and I'm dropping out of school. Love ya, bye."

[in strong accents]

Raven:
[as Liz Anya] Do you know who I be? Does you listen to music?

Eddie:
[as Liz Anya's bodyguard] Do you watch TV?

Chelsea:
[as Liz Anya's executive] Do you carry a lunch box?

Chelsea:
[in strong British accent] Yeah, Liz Anya can't just sing cold!

Raven:
So you don't want me to tell you my visions?

Eddie:
No...unless a piano is about to fall and hit me, you can tell me. (Chelsea glares at him) Or you could just keep it to yourself.

Raven:
Okay, I won't tell you my visions. (walks away)

Eddie:
(to Chelsea) If I get hit by a piano, I'm blaming you.

(after they accidentally throw the necklace raven got for christmas that raven opened up early and wore to school and let chelsea wear. Raven wants it back and they fight over and it flys out the window and breaks) Raven:
OH SNAP!

Eddie:
[as Liz Anya's bodyguard] Y-Yeah, you see, Liz Anya's got to get warmed up. Raven: '[as Liz Anya] 'Just have Victor prepare my usual. Manager: Ummm, Victor doesn't work here anymore!

Raven:
[as Liz Anya] WWWHHHHAAAATTTT?!?!?!?! Manager: SHHHHHH!!!! Eddie: Don't SHHHHHH her! Raven:[as liz Anya] GET ME J.LO!!!! Chelsea: OHHHHHH, YOU DONE IT NOW!!!! Chelsea: [calls Cory] Raven: [as Liz Anya] Hey, girlfriend, you know I'm down here at Augustine's and they fired Victor! I-I know. She wants to talk to you. Manager: S-She wants to talk to me! Eddie: Don't look at the phone, brotha. 'Manager:' Hi! Mrs. Lopez, I'm a really big fan. Cory: If you want to see my back get Victor back!, [Victor walks in and hears Cory][Cory] Mom said all boys voice change when they get older. [Cory runs to his room immediately] Raven: [as Liz Anya] [chants] Victor, Victor, Victor!