Carl:
Okay, are things gonna like, jump out at us and scare us?
Sheen:
[jumps out of nowhere, scaring him] No, Carl. Everything here is dead.
Carl:
Oh, that's good, 'cause… Dead things?! [points to a skeleton] Uh, I'm allergic to dead things!
Jimmy:
Don't worry, Carl. Nothing's going to hurt you.
[The kids turn around and gasp in surprise when they see something shocking on the wall]
Cindy:
I don't believe it.
Sheen:
It can't be.
Jimmy:
But it is.
Carl:
IT'S…
[The wall shows a hieroglyphic image of Queen Hazabataslapya, who looks similar to Libby as Jimmy and Sheen turn to her before cutting to commercial break; cut back to the kids in the tomb]
Jimmy:
It's Queen Hazabataslapya!
Sheen:
Smokin'. I'd be her king in a Retroville minute.
Cindy:
She looks just like… [points to Libby]
Carl:
Me?
Libby:
No. Me.
Sheen:
Wow, Libby. Maybe she's your great-great-great-great-great… [as time passes by] great-great-great grandmother!
Libby:
I'm royalty.
Cindy:
Oh, boy, here we go. Queen Libby is in the house.
Libby:
Hey. Maybe this whole place belongs to me. I can turn it into a hot little dance club/restaurant/boutique/water park/…
Carl:
Hey, Jimmy. [pointing to the hieroglyphics on the wall] Somebody wrote on the walls. [gasps] They're gonna get in trouble.
Jimmy:
No, no, Carl. Those are hieroglyphics. The ancient Egyptian art of picture writing.
Sheen:
Hey, I saw this in "Ultra Lord vs. the Mutant Pus-Spitting Mummy." I can read this stuff.
Cindy:
Yeah, right.
Sheen:
"The queen flew on the wings of an eagle. She had a VCR, but wanted a DVD, and the gods sent munchkins to hypnotize her water-skis. So she took her peanut butter sandwich for a walk." The end.
Carl:
Wow, Sheen, that was amazing!
Cindy and Libby:
Oh, boys.
Jimmy:
Excuse me. My watch has a Sanskrit-to-English translator with a Rosetta stone upgrade. [activates his watch and scans the hieroglyphics on the wall as they're translated in English on the bottom of the screen] The queen was only 18 when she died.
Sheen:
Why must the good die young?!
Jimmy:
"Whosoever disturbs my resting place, shall endure eternal punishment, and pain shall erupt from every poor, and their screams shall be heard down the centuries and—"
Cindy:
[interrupting] Get to the point, Doofus of Arabia.
Jimmy:
It's just a silly curse. And there's no such thing as curses.
Carl:
Oh, so they're like the Loch Ness Monster and North Dakota.
Sheen:
Hey, guys, I think I found the bathroom! It smells like a bathroom. I wish I had one of those deodorizer things you hang in the car from the rear-view mirror.
Carl:
Lemon or strawberry?
Sheen:
Thanks, Carl. Hey, why do you carry those around with you?
Carl:
…'Cause.
Jimmy:
Follow me.
Carl:
Oh, I bet something really bad's gonna happen.
Cindy:
With Nerdtron leading the way, it's a pretty safe bet.
[Meanwhile back in Retroville; In Principal Willoughby's office…]
Principal Willoughby:
[realizing] Hold on. We don't have a school tanning salon.
[Cut back to the kids standing in the tomb's empty chamber]
Sheen:
I for one am deeply disappointed. It's just a big empty room!
Jimmy:
Well, the pyramid designers sometimes build hundreds of empty chambers, to confuse grave robbers. So they wander aimlessly for days until they…
Cindy:
[interrupting] You got 10 seconds to get outta here.
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