The Amazing Race, Season 1

Drew:
You have to hit six numbers to get a live human being on the phone.

Kevin:
It's amazing that you even got up this morning and tied your shoes.

Drew:
Nothing's free, Kevin! We're in Africa! You go to the Statue of Liberty, is the guy giving these things [maps] away for free? For cryin' out loud! Free!

Drew:
Zambia. That's where we are.

Kevin:
That's Namibia, jackass.

Drew:
You have to approach people in an affable, friendly way! You don't do it like you're in New York!

Leslie:
We're in, what, seventh place?

Kim:
I don't know, I can't do math right now.

Kim:
God, there are a lot of bugs out in the jungle. Go figure.

Kevin:
Swing, you fat bastard, swing!

Ana:
Once a moron, always a moron.

Matt:
Well, you fell in love with this moron.

Karyn:
When we win the money, he has to marry me.

Drew:
What's this elephant?

Kevin:
What elephant?

Drew:
This little statue here.

Kevin:
It's probably a little...a little tchotchke!

Kevin:
You're gonna get the window, you jerk.

Drew:
Don't worry about it.

Kevin:
You think you're whatchamacallit from Wild Kingdom. Jackass.

Kevin:
Is that an impala?

Drew:
Get the camera, get the camera!

Kevin:
It's a goat, it's a goat.

Leslie:
Who wants to go to Paris? I don't want to go to Paris. I hate Paris.

Leslie:
I'm looking for four [tickets]. And she's [Amie] not with me.

Guido:
How the hell can they help us? We lived in Paris for two years!

Drew:
How are you, buddy? You hangin' in there? Your legs hurtin'?

Kevin:
I'm an idiot! I'm a friggin' idiot.

Drew:
That's my boy. Always keepin' a sense of humor.

Amie:
You're a fat bitch!

Leslie:
She screamed at me like she'd scream at her boyfriend.

Paul:
How do they jump in our cab and just take it? In New York, they would have grabbed her out by the hair.

Karyn:
I'm really disappointed. Disappointed. Disappointed.

Lenny:
What did you say?

Karyn:
I'm disappointed.

Lenny:
Well, that ain't nothing new.

Emily:
The only monument I know is that Arc d'Whatever.

Leslie:
I don't know where that little cute couple that hates our guts are.

Karyn:
You're not going to shake my hand? We're not out, and you're not going to shake my hand?

Rob:
Life is a game of minutes.

Frank:
Onward to victory!

Amie:
[while sleeping outside] Ah, this is the life.

Kevin:
We have no food, we have no water...we're all set.

Drew:
Good night, Kevin.

Kevin:
Good night, Drew. [pauses] Good night, John-Boy.

Nancy:
Why didn't you go to the hotel?

Amie:
What hotel?

Drew:
I just don't think the city's [Paris] anything special. I rate it no better than SoHo.

Drew:
Geez, why did I think it was gonna be an old guy who looked like Ben Franklin?

Joe:
I can't wait to see the big pendulum!

Margarita:
Do you need me?

Frank:
I just need your brain, I don't need your emotions.

Rob:
The Guidos try to hold other people back with deceit and trickery.

Joe:
Bonjour! Bonjour! Hey, big strong guys like you, how come you're not doing the steps? Don’t you need a little aerobic exercise?

Joe:
They don’t know Paris, and they don't know where they're going.

Joe:
It would be just our luck to lose this thing in Paris when we lived here for two years.

Drew:
Who's better than us, here, on top of the South of France? With everybody lookin' at our behinds, no less.

Mayor of Les Baux de Provence:
Welcome. You are -

Joe:
We're team number three!

Mayor of Les Baux de Provence:
You are team number four.

Brenda:
Who knew that there were two Foucault pendulums in Paris?

Margarita:
It wasn't about not working together.

Joe:
It's about winning now. It's about winning and not letting anybody else win.

Margaretta:
David and I have been married for forty years. We're just doing our normal thing. There's nothing on this trip that will make or break us.

Bill:
Control the game, period. Play the game our way. Group Guido arranged the whole passage. No one can leave without this ticket. I controlled the group, intimidated the whole group by speaking French for two hours to the people that were there, also leaving doubt in their mind what I was doing. The other contestants? Of course, we're playing them like a violin, you know?

Lenny:
I want to rip their heads off and show them their hearts.

Drew:
What does it say? "Go Here"? Oh. I thought it said "Go Home".

Paul:
They were rippin' my skin off.

Amie:
Really? Mine was pretty nice.

Drew:
You saw what that was like in Midnight Express.

Joe:
The first circle inside the big concentric circle!

Emily:
[after lighting the Coliseum on fire] Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh, stop!

Kevin:
I thought I heard him. You can't miss that mouth.

Kevin:
Take the elevator to the Coliseum floor!

Frank:
Pit Of Death, here I come.

Amie:
I'll do it. I gotta pee, but I'll do it.

Amie:
Olympic torch, kiddos!

Phil:
David and Margaretta, you're the last team to arrive at this leg. You've been eliminated. I'm sorry to tell you that.

Dave:
And I'm sorry to hear it. But I want to tell you, this is a tough group to compete against, and I don't think it's any disgrace to lose to them. They're all great people, and we did our best, and we wish them lots of luck.

Drew:
Alright, so what do you think that arrow means? I gotta pee, I might as well do it right here.

Kevin:
It means go right, stupid. It means Drew is a dumbass.