The Closer, Season 2

Brenda:
Are you wearing your gun?

Fritz:
[smiles] Yeah.

Brenda:
Can I have it?

Fritz:
What's wrong with yours?

Brenda:
Well, in case you hadn't noticed, I'm off duty. So, would you let me borrow yours? For a minute, please? [Fritz hands her his sidearm] Could it really be that simple? [aims at mirror] Bang.

Fritz:
What are you doing?

Brenda:
Trust me... Trust me. [crouches down] Now walk towards me like you're trying to find out what I'm doing.

Fritz:
[still smiling] I am trying to find out what you're doing.

Brenda:
["aims" hairbrush at Fritz] Bang. See? That's how I shoot Barak with Martin's gun, and then I shoot Martin with Barak's. That's how. 'Cause he knew Barak was coming. That's how. [kisses him] That's how.

Provenza:
Gimme $100.

Flynn:
I already gave you $100.

Provenza:
You're way up.

Flynn:
So what? You know where the ATM is. Besides, I say we cash in.

Provenza:
Fine, fine, fine, we'll cash in. [grabs Ari] C'mon, Ari. You're cashing in, too.

Ari:
Hey, don't touch me. [looking at Provenza's shirt] Who the hell are you, anyway?

Flynn:
LAPD. We're here to give you a lift home.

Ari:
Put that away, you stupid... look, I'm not leaving. And you can't do anything to me here anyway.

Provenza:
Oh really? Hey! Hey everybody! Listen up! I wanna tell you about my friend Ari here.

Ari:
Hey! Shut up, you idiot, you're gonna get me killed!

Flynn:
Hey moron, now imagine us doing that, only on television, and all your cousin's friends find out that you're a snitch.

Provenza:
[shoving all of Ari's chips to the center] And don't forget to tip the dealer.

Flynn:
Let's go.

Hubbard:
[agitated] I'm his father! Charlie's my son! I taught him how to walk! And I taught him how to read! And I taught him... I've been with him through seven surgeries and 38 procedures! And where was the great Tim Martin when it mattered, huh? Huh? Where was he? When Charlie's life was on the line? Where was he? Where was Tim Martin?

Brenda:
I don't know, Det. Hubbard. But I know where he is now. I saw his brains splattered all over the floor of an abandoned warehouse while his body was being eaten by flies, and I can't help but think you may have overreacted.

Hubbard:
You can't. You can't tell Charlie about him, this, you won't do that.

Brenda:
I can and I will.

Taylor:
Hey, hey, hey. Write it all down and we'll get you a deal from the D.A.

Brenda:
You can wear a bracelet and stay with Charlie until his illness...resolves itself.

Brenda:
Good morning, Det. Xavier, and the elusive Mr. Cohen. Here you are! So kind of you to join us.

Ari:
I was dragged here against my will, and all I'm going to do is plead the Fifth.

Brenda:
You can't plead the Fifth.

Ari:
I can't?

Brenda:
It would be a violation of the agreement you made with the D.A. to be a cooperating witness. So if you plead the Fifth, I'll arrest you as an accomplice in a double-homicide. So please, Mr. Cohen, do take a seat.

Capt. Leahy:
Ma'am, I want to note you've used your investigation to smear Tim Martin's reputation and in this department that's just not the way we play ball.

Brenda:
Well, Captain, if you don't like the way I'm doing things, you're free to take your balls and go straight home.

Brenda:
Did you make the match?

Tao:
Any minute.

Brenda:
You don't have it?

Tao:
It's coming.

Brenda:
Lt. Tao, I need to start this interview, and if you don't finish I could be up a nasty-smelling creek without a paddle!

Tao:
Just go slow. As soon as the match comes through I'll bring it directly to Gabriel. [Hands her two small chocolate-covered eclairs] Here. For all our sakes. Please.

Brenda:
[accepts them] Thank you.

Brenda:
[looks at phone as it's ringing, sighs] How do they always know? [answers it] Hi Mama. How are you?...I'm good. I'm at work, but I have a minute. Is everything all right?... [Fritz enters] Great Aunt Who? Mama, is this someone I've even met?...No, I just ran upstairs and I'm out of breath. ... I don't know where Santa Clarita is.

Fritz:
It's just north of here.

Brenda:
[shushes him] Alright, I'll send her a get well card or something. Can you spell the last name? E-U-L-E-S-S...Mama, I have never met this woman before in my life, I swear...Well, what's wrong with her?...Oh for heaven's sake. If she's been in a coma for two years, how much worse can she get?...Look, I can't talk about this right now because I'm about to, um, interview a serial killer who just stabbed 30 people to death. Alright, alright. OK. Bye!

Flynn:
So, he's not in his room. [Provenza keeps playing] And I think we've pretty well determined he's not over here. And where'd you get that shirt anyway? The '80s?

Provenza:
Your ex-wife loved it. Said it was easier to unbutton than anything you ever wore. Put your glasses on, old man; turn around and take a gander. Ari's right over there playing blackjack. And there's two open seats next to him. Now I say that we put him under tight surveillance for an hour or so.

Flynn:
You're kidding me, right? That's a $25 table.

Provenza:
There's an ATM next to the cashier, and I am feeling luck-eeeee.

Hubbard:
I'd heard Xavier had an alibi.

Brenda:
Oh, it'd fall apart in a dryer.

Taylor:
Chief Johnson?

Brenda:
Yes?

Taylor:
I just want to make sure I understand why you're bringing Det. Xavier back in?

Brenda:
I want to question him.

Taylor:
Why?

Brenda:
Because I need more answers.

Taylor:
Did you ever ask him where he was last Saturday morning when the murders were committed? Because I looked into it, and he was at home, on the phone for two hours.

Brenda:
Well, his line was busy. That doesn't mean he was on it.

Taylor:
I'm trying to help you here, Chief. Xavier has an excellent record, and yes, Tim Martin, he might have been a womanizer, but if you can't tell how much people respected him around here, you're not looking.

Brenda:
Trust me. I see it.

Taylor:
If you end up smearing a man who gave his life to the badge ...

Brenda:
I have factored your concerns into how I'm dealing with this case. Anything else commander?

Taylor:
No ma'am. Just trying to be of assistance.

Linda:
If you're gonna treat me like a criminal, shouldn't I have an attorney?

Brenda:
Oh, we'd get in such trouble if we gave legal advice. I was trying to get you in and out, but if having a lawyer would make you feel more comfortable, you just call one, and we'll wait. That's the nice thing about working for the government. You get paid for just being here.

Linda:
That's how you're treating Tim's death? As an overtime opportunity?

Brenda:
Well, I was going to ask you some questions ...

Linda:
What do you think I could know?

Brenda:
Well, I'm not sure, ma'am. But there was a third person in that warehouse and we're trying to figure out who that could've been. I'm only bringing it up because you were the first person to report him missing, and you are licensed to carry a handgun.

Linda:
And I carry a handgun because it is my constitutional right to do so. And I have an ex who is also a cop and likes to drive by my house sometimes at night and flash his brights in my window. He even knocked on the door at Tim's one night. Drunk.

Brenda:
Are you talking about Lawrence Xavier?

Linda:
I am.

Gabriel:
If he intimidated you, why didn't you report him?

Linda:
Because Tim talked me out of it. He said he'd put a stop to it, and he did. And I only got one more call from Lawrence complaining about how much money he had wasted on our dates. So I sent him a check for $1,000 by messenger and y'know what? He cashed it, too. A------.

Brenda:
We'll talk about this...all this...later...this evening or something...

Fritz:
This reluctance of yours, it has nothing to do with what's going on with Pope, does it?

Brenda:
What's going on with Pope?

Fritz:
His wife served him with divorce papers last Friday. You didn't know?

Brenda:
No.

Fritz:
What do you do for a living again?

Buzz:
[Cleaning up his workstation, handing the snack wrappers to Sanchez] Guys, this is a surveillance center, not a concession stand. And I'm not your maid, ok?!

Sanchez:
Why don't you calm down, Buzz?

Brenda:
I can manage this. You look tired. Why don't you head on home?

Pope:
[Rolls eyes] Please don't use the techniques you employ in there [pointing to the Interrogation Room] on me. Something you'd like to know, ask me.

Brenda:
Well, I didn't think it was any of my business. I just...I heard you were getting a divorce, that's all.

Pope:
I'm not getting a divorce. Estelle's getting a divorce. The job, the hours. She's seeing someone else. They're getting married. So no alimony. She doesn't want our kids because he doesn't want them. So there's that. And y'know, at some point it will...stop hurting and I'll just...hate her and go on with my life.

Brenda:
[to Fritz, on the subject of their moving in together] There are all these problems that would have to be worked out.

Fritz:
Like ... like what?

Brenda:
Like gettin' a new phone, for one thing, because you couldn't answer mine when my parents called.

Fritz:
That really isn't a ... problem ...

Brenda:
And I can be just impossible.

Fritz:
I like that you're impossible sometimes.

Brenda:
Well, what if you stopped? Stopped liking me?

Fritz:
If I was gonna stop liking you, I would have done it already.

Brenda:
Good. Well, look, I haven't had a lot of success living with guys, and it could just ruin everything.

Fritz:
Yes, but if, uh, we're trying to sort of become closer, more like full partners, living together would give us a chance to see what that would be like.

Brenda:
Lt. Provenza, are you eatin' chocolate in here?

Provenza:
[With a guilty look] Sorry.

Brenda:
I thought we'd agreed to keep snacks with processed sugar out of the murder room. If y'all have to have candy please do so in the hallways or the electronics room. Or you could try givin' it up. Since I stopped eatin' all that crap I have more energy. And I'm sleepin' better too.

Flynn:
What about nuts?

Brenda:
Excuse me?

Flynn:
Are my nuts allowed in here?

Brenda:
Do they have sugar on them, Lieutenant?

Flynn:
No, they're salty.

Brenda:
Well, there's your answer, then.

Pope:
[into cellphone, presumably with Estelle] You could've told me about it in person. In advance. Yeah, I can't talk about this now, I'm sorry you feel that way, but we've just lost a 15-year veteran in a shootout and that's actually more important than you are at the moment. [clicks off] Leahy, is it true your men were circulating 100 flyers of some guy who was not connected to the crime?

Leahy:
I got 98 of them back, sir.

Pope:
And where is Det. Martin's partner?

Leahy:
Det. Xavier is waiting in Cmdr. Taylor's officer with the murder book and the informant packet.

Pope:
So unless you'd like to start collecting your pension tomorrow, Central had better back off and allow Priority Homicide do its job. You're dismissed.

Brenda:
Captain, I'm so sorry, but we're gonna need all of these flyers, because otherwise ...

Pope:
That's good enough for me. Ninety-eight percent is fine. Go on Captain. (Leahy leaves)

Brenda:
You understand that this is not a picture of the informant Det. Martin was working with.

Pope:
I don't want to talk about this anymore. [closes door] You left a police officer lying next to the man who shot him, and that is never done.

Brenda:
The reason I left Det. Martin lying there is that police officers are trained to fire in bursts. And Martin only put one shot into Barak. One. And the bodies were lying close together. Too close. And what was Martin doing there in the first place? Now, he and Det. Xavier were working with an undercover informant and I need to question him.

Pope:
You can't release the informant's name to law enforcement.

Brenda:
Well, how am I supposed to talk to him, Will? What if he's not just ... just waitin' by the phone?

Pope:
Why is it you can never do your job without constantly complaining about everything? The informant was guaranteed anonymity. [calms down] You can release his name to one other member of your squad and that's it. Now I've upheld your authority with the entire department looking on. But when a police officer is killed, we expect closure quickly and completely. Is that clear?

Brenda:
Yes it is. Your attitude, however, is a complete mystery.

Brenda:
So Lt. Provenza, summin' up what we know so far. Alone and on his day off, Detective Tim Martin enters an abandoned warehouse in downtown Los Angeles 30 miles from his home in Long Beach. By coincidence, Mr. Barak, a murder suspect in a double homicide Martin is working happens to enter the same warehouse. They both draw their weapons and fire at the exact same time. Fatally wounded they instantly drop dead where they stand. What would you say the chances are it happened like that?

Provenza:
Apparently, 100 percent.

Brenda:
What are you doing?

Provenza:
Being nice.

Brenda:
You're not nice. And you're on duty.

Provenza:
Well, give me the afternoon off.

Brenda:
My mother is married. To my father.

Provenza:
Relax, Deputy Chief Brenda Leigh. I don't date women over 35. 40 if I'm drinking.

Brenda:
Alright, then. You can have her back by 7:00, because I have a dinner I cannot miss.

Provenza:
I brought this back from the funeral for you. Since you're off sweets. It's a...cake-like object made with some sort of...prune crap substitute for sugar.

Brenda:
[Tastes it, then throws it away] There is no substitute for sugar.

Taylor:
Congratulations, Chief. You got your mistrial.

Brenda:
It's not my mistrial; it's my arrest. You'd think people would be happy to put a genuine killer behind bars.

Taylor:
Aram Asourian is the leader of a mob family.

Brenda:
Well, maybe next time you can pair him up with a crime he's actually committed. Personally, I always feel better about the justice system when it matches up murder charges with the right person.

Taylor:
Then it's too bad Vahan didn't confess to killing the juror, too.

Brenda:
Well, maybe he didn't. But Bela Rose didn't die a natural death. And thanks to Lt. Flynn's determination, which I know you in the L.A.P.D. are desperate to acknowledge, I now can talk to the jurors who actually saw her die.

Tao:
[Staking out Vahan's apartment] He's been in there all day.

Flynn:
If you had his girlfriend, you'd be in there all day, too.

Brenda:
Mr. Millbrook. Thank you so much for stopping by. How goes your motion for a mistrial?

Millbrook:
It doesn't.

Brenda:
I expected better of you. All right then. I have been reviewing the transcripts of this trial and in presenting your client's defense, you never once brought up his son, Vahan. And it looks like he's the one who set the fire.

Millbrook:
Asourian won't let me mention the boy. And Vahan's vanished. Nobody's seen him in years.

Brenda:
I keep wondering how wonderful it would be if Vahan were suddenly just to turn up. You'd get your mistrial and preserve your sterling reputation. More billable hours. All sorts of good things could happen.

Millbrook:
Yes, well, Asourien won't let me mention the boy, though. He's very serious about that.

Brenda:
Well, maybe we'll get lucky and someone'll just turn up with an untraceable tip that'll lead us to Vahan. And this can all end.

Millbrook:
How untraceable?

Brenda:
They'll find weapons of mass destruction in Baghdad first.

Brenda:
Mama, I'm so sorry, but I'm not gonna be able to take you to this funeral after all.

Willie Rae:
What?

Brenda:
I wish I could but I have this murder I have to investigate.

Willie Rae:
Oh for heaven's sake, there are murders every day of the week. And your Aunt Floetta will only have one funeral.

Gabriel:
[To Fritz, regarding Brenda] I get that look, too, sometimes. That is not a good look.

Brenda:
I can't believe I left my mother with Fritz for the whole day.

Gabriel:
She'll be fine.

Brenda:
I'm not worried about my mother.

Brenda:
We need them to talk to us, so don't tell them you're from homicide; just say LAPD. When people see you at their door and you say homicide, you lose them and any chance of learning something useful. Ask if anyone else is there, just in case they pass out when they hear the news. I have to stay with a mother once who fainted, slammed her head on a coffee table and I was stuck waiting for an ambulance with a bleeding, unconscious woman. Answer any question they have with another question. We need to find out if they saw their son, might even tell us something about their relationship with him. Maybe even who he hangs out with. How you say it is up to you. Once you tell them, watch closely. How they react, what's the first thing they think of? Now get ready. You're about to become the main character in the story of someone's worst day ever.

Taylor:
You know, a non-fatal gang related shooting on 81st Street isn't usually considered the jurisdiction of priority homicide. Seems less like you're doing your job than more like you're doing a favor.

Brenda:
I'm not doing anyone any favors.

Taylor:
Just -- can I just say thank you?

Brenda:
For what? Wesley's still dead.

Taylor:
You saved his reputation.

Brenda:
A lot good that does him now.

Taylor:
Maybe so, but that's all his parents have left.

Brenda:
Mr. Sarkisian, why don't you tell us about the previous tenant? I believe her name was Catherine Landis.

Mr. Sarkisian:
Ask the neighbors!

Brenda:
Excuse me, Mr. Sarkisian. I don't think I made clear exactly who I am. I'm Deputy Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson with the LAPD, and I don't give tickets; I arrest people. So unless you're certain that every property you own is in compliance with all municipal housing codes, I'd answer my questions without hesitation. Do we understand each other, sir?

Brenda:
Why aren't they using Robbery/Homicide's interview room?

Sanchez:
Technical problems with their monitors.

Daniels:
[holds up RCA cables] Bless me, mother, for I have sinned.

Brenda:
[smiles] We are all going to hell.

Hotel Manager:
Does she have to yell?

Pope:
She sometimes forgets there are other people [pauses] in the world.

Brenda:
Oh, for heaven's sake, it is a head. Oh, my Lord, I found some feet!

Homeless Guy:
Do these feet go with this head?

Gabriel:
I sure hope so. 

Brenda:
[after throwing up] ... dirty diapers in that trash over there...

Gabriel:
yeah, because there's nothing else around here to make a person sick. [looking at the decapitated head and feet]

Brenda:
I don't want to here another word about you and Daniels, ok? Just ... keep it to yourself. [Referring to the news of Gabriel and Daniels dating]

Brenda:
You know what, Mr. Andrews? I am starting to get a really good picture of you with a needle in your arm. So, now comes the time when we stop lying and start telling each other the truth. I can either arrest you for first degree murder with the special circumstance of lying in wait, which carries with it the death penalty, or I can bring the DA in here and you can confess. Maybe even save your life, which is a chance your wife and daughter never had. All I want to know, really, is why? Did you kill Yumi and Aiko because you had a new girlfriend, or was it to save your house and your business? Is that it? Did you murder your wife and child to avoid splitting up your assets?

Paul Andrews:
Do I really seem like such a monster to you?

Brenda:
You look human enough.

Brenda:
Mr. Pierce, I believe we've gotten off on the wrong foot. I'm confident that with your cooperation we can resolve this situation right now.

Howard Pierce:
I agree.

Brenda:
All I need is the surgery video, the boy's charts, and to have a short conversation with the physicians.

Howard Pierce:
Well, that's not going to happen.

Brenda:
Excuse me?

Howard Pierce:
You want to resolve this quickly? Let me help you. There. Was. No. Murder. You need to turn that operating suite back over to us right now.

Brenda:
[looks at Mr. Pierce long and hard] Sergeant Gabriel, please notify the building operations that we'll be shutting down this floor. Nothing goes in or out without our permission. Nothing.

Howard Pierce:
You can't do that!

Brenda:
[points her finger in Mr. Pierce's face] One more word out of you and I will padlock this entire hospital and arrest you for interfering with a murder investigation.

Pope:
We don't know there was malpractice, much less a crime, much less a murder. So let's be clear about what's going on here: you're launching a full investigation into a nationally respected hospital based on the hunch of a hysterical woman.

Brenda:
Daniels and I both felt she might be telling the truth.

Pope:
Okay. Make that three hysterical women.

Brenda:
I know you don't want me to respond to that.

Pope:
No.

Brenda:
We are asking for minimal cooperation.

Howard Pierce:
And I am telling you that these doctors records are protected and they will remain confidential. [to Pope] And let me give you a word of warning, sir, that the legal principles at stake in this case are more important than you seem to imagine. Now I urge you to think very carefully about what you do next.

Pope:
[dials a phone number] Martha, get me Martin Garnett, please. Thank you. [hangs up] Garnett is the deputy district attorney. I'm going to ask him to get a grand jury to issue subpoenas for everything related to the Langer case. Just to satisfy my own stupid, uninformed curiosity.

Tom Blanchard:
Now, some ground rules for this next deposition: first rule, don't do their jobs for them; keep your answers short and simple, don't guess, don't argue.

Brenda:
Mr. Blandard, are you honestly telling me how to conduct myself in an interview?

Blanchard:
Ms. Johnson, you're about to enter a room where you don't get to ask the questions.

Barbara, Estelle Pope's Attorney:
We're here to talk about family and the threat posed to family when the father isn't up to the job. Ms. Johnson, since you have arrived in Los Angeles, you and Will Pope have worked very closely together. Long days, sometimes long nights, weekends, how much time does Mr. Pope actually have to spend with his children when it's really you he's spending time with?

Blanchard:
Objection.

Barbara:
On what grounds?

Blanchard:
Your question is argumentative, harassing, and ends with a preposition. Kindly rephrase.

Barbara:
This is ridiculous, Tom --

Brenda:
Chief Pope and I are not having an affair!

Blanchard:
Excuse me, Ms. Johnson. Will you kindly refrain from speaking? Now, Barbara, if you're going to pursue this line of questioning I would remind you that Chief Pope didn't leave his first wife for Ms. Johnson. He left her for Estelle. And unlike the future ex-Mrs. Pope, whose infidelity brings us here in the first place, Ms. Johnson has never broken a vow of marriage. So any attempt by your client to besmirch Deputy Chief Johnson's reputation will be considered harassment and grounds for a very long, expensive, and embarrassing lawsuit. During which I will drag your client into court and we can examine Estelle Pope's adulterous behavior with vigorous attention to detail. [turns to the stenographer] Are you getting all this?

Brenda:
You know what else I think?

Gerald Curtis:
That stupid girl.

Brenda:
The description Carl gave is probably that of Steven Brandt, who I believe drove you away from the QwikMart after the robberies, and once Carl gave that description to your defense attorneys, you thought that Steven might be scared into killing him. You were right. I wonder how Steven will feel when he knows that you have a description out? You can't trust anyone these days.

Gerald Curtis:
Go to hell. I want my lawyer!

Brenda:
And especially you couldn't trust Carl, a fifteen year old boy who might fall to pieces on the witness stand if examined too closely. And if I were to find out that you had written all of that out for Kendall so she could help Carl make his testimony more believable? Why, that would be as good as a confession.

Gerald Curtis:
I said go to hell.

Brenda:
You first!

Brenda:
Oh, he's probably terrified.

Fritz:
She. She's probably terrified.

Brenda:
I don't see why I'm so upset, he's just a stupid cat.

Fritz:
She. She's just a stupid cat.

[Kitty, who has been missing, returns home]

Brenda:
Bad kitty! Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad! Look at you! You are a mess! What have you been doing?

Fritz:
I know you're good at your job, honey, but I don't think Kitty's gonna answer you.

Pope:
An old friend of ours would like to speak with you. You remember Andrew Schmidt.

Brenda:
Andrew, what are you doing here?

Schmidt:
Nice to see you again too, Brenda.

Brenda:
Oh, I'm sorry. I mean, it's nice to see you, but --

Schmidt:
What am I doing here? [to Pope] She was always very quick to get to the point, wasn't she. [to Brenda] And you don't seem to have aged at all.

Brenda:
Neither have you, sir.

Schmidt:
[to Pope] She's also one of the best liars I have ever known.

Gabriel:
Something's bothering me a little.

Brenda:
What's that, sergeant?

Gabriel:
This whole CIA thing. I don't know how much I trust them. How I feel about the people who work there, you know?

Brenda:
I know. It's a gray area. I remember once hearing a speech about what it meant to be on officer of the CIA, and the man who gave this speech talked about the struggle to control civilization and how we're always fighting the same fight and he used the Dark Ages as an example. And he talked about how on one side you had the pragmatic king who was greedy and power hungry and basically took advantage of people whenever he could. And on the other side you had the idealistic church, forcing everyone to follow the same rules, have the same beliefs and all that. Neither the king or the church was ever completely right or wrong, both sides ended up doing terrible things to get what they wanted. Really terrible things. But the point of the story was this: that this struggle from the Dark Ages had been going on forever, and the church and the king might take on different forms and philosophies, but they would always fight each other, pragmatist and idealist, and that most times you're better off standing on the sidelines and letting them duke it out. But every once in a while one side or the other decides it might be better to just blow up the whole world just to get its own way, and when that happens you can't stand on the sidelines anymore. You have to pick a team. And so for tonight, anyway, we're serving the king.