The King of Queens, Season 4

Carrie:
[catching 'food-unfaithful' Doug who is sneakily devouring the leftovers of Becky's salad back in the kitchen] You would do this to me over salad?

Doug:
I am very weak.

Carrie:
[Arthur is watching It's A Wonderful Life] Ah, It's A Wonderful Life. Pretty great, huh?

Arthur:
Actually, I think it's a swing and a miss.

Carrie:
What are you talking about? It's one of the greatest movies of all time.

Arthur:
With George Bailey, the town is boring. Without him, there's nightclubs and bars. It's fabulous. I wish he hadn't been born.

Spence:
[about Arthur] I can't believe he's never seen The Wizard of Oz.

Carrie:
So, how are you liking it so far, dad?

Arthur:
[scared on seeing the film] Is anyone else but me terrified?

Arthur:
I would like a parrot and name him Douglas.

Arthur:
I'd like to get another parrot that lives and call it Douglas the second. Actually, perhaps I should wait until I get the rest of Douglas the first off the side of the garage.

Doug:
Wait! That's it. I--I finally figured it out. I do have anger, but I don't like confrontation with other people, so I take it all out of myself. [Boy throws the chair over to Doug's face] KNOCK IT OFF!!!

Boy:
Sorry!

[Later]

Doug:
So it turns out by avoiding over confrontation that's been going on around here, I actually caused the 2 of you to have more conflict with each other, so, really, it's my problem after avoiding this.