The Rockford Files, Season 1

Sara Butler:
You aren't afraid of him, are you?

Jim:
You're damn right I am!

Sara Butler:
How much of my own money am I going to earn back?

Jim:
I usually pay my operatives 20 bucks an hour for this kind of thing.

Sara Butler:
I wouldn't do it for less than 50.

Jim:
You know what's wrong with karate Jerry? It's based on the ridiculous assumption that the other guy will fight fair.

Nick Butler:
Who are you, the boyfriend?

Jim:
No, what I am is about fifty pounds heavier and a whole lot meaner.

Jim:
[right before Jerry hits him] You gotta be one of the dumbest looking apes I ever saw.

Mrs. Elias:
[meeting Jim, who is posing as a Dean of Admissions] You look like a truck driver in a suit.

Larry Kirkoff:
How about it, Mr. Rockford? Twenty thousand dollars can buy a lot of groceries.

Jim:
I'm investigating the Kirkoff killings and I heard you were having an affair with Mrs. Kirkoff before she was killed.

Travis Buckman:
Private cop, huh?

Jim:
Look, you aren't gonna shoot anybody, we both know it, so why don't you put that thing away before you have an accident.

Travis Buckman:
Who're you working for?

Jim:
Well, that's confidential.

[Buckman cocks his gun]

Jim:
Larry Kirkoff.

Jim:
Can I have my pants back, please?

Jim:
I have a special this week - Opinions come with no extra charge.

[Beth hides Jim's car keys in her blouse]

Jim:
If you think that's going to stop me, you've got a short memory.

Jim:
Cataloguing my virtues won't work either... I hold them to a minimum so they're easy to keep track of.

Jim:
[to Agent Shore] That's my career specialty - ducking process servers.

Jim:
What's wrong?

Rocky:
I am THROUGH talking to you! Look at you, an inch or two to the right and you'd be missing that eye!

Jim:
Yeah, but look at it this way, an inch or two to the left and he'd have missed me completely.

Alec Morris:
I was told that you were very reliable.

Jim:
Reliable...but chicken.

Sara Butler:
(Referring to Jim's trailer) This is your office?

Jim:
Yeah, it's cheap, it's tax-deductible, earthquake-proof, and when I get a job out of town, I'll take it with me.