What I Like About You, Season 2

Lauren:
Hey, bike messenger.

Vince:
I have a name.

Lauren:
(touches Vince's abs) Yeah, don't care.

Val:
Do these pants make my bottom look big?

Holly:
"Bottom?!" You're so Amish!

Holly:
(shouting to Henry, upset and angry) You know me, you know who I am! If-if we've been dating long enough for you to know that if I could have been there I would have! And that, you know, I'm sorry but something came up and I don't feel that I should be punished for that! And to be perfectly honest, I think you're being a little bit of a bitch right now!

Henry:
I have to have major surgery...

Holly:
Oh my God, what is it?

Henry:
I have to have my wisdom teeth removed.(laughs)....

Henry:
... No one knows they're going into a (hush tone) coma when they go into a (hush tone) coma.

Val:
Peter says I've got to be a team player. I have always been a team player, I just happen to hate this team.

Holly:
If you hate work so much, why don't you just quit? Start your own company and you can have exactly the way you want it. Hire all women and maybe a sassy gay guy!

Val:
(circles a finger around Holly's head) Oh, I wish I lived in there, I bet it's full of funny cartoons and stuff.

Holly:
Look, Val, if this is about money, I've got 1300... no... 1100... I've got $75 in my savings account! It's yours.

Gary:
Okay, Val - now, the way Gary sees it, you got three choices: you can find yourself another job and pray it's going to be a better situation, do what Holly said and start your own company, or do what 99% of the world does and stay where you are and suck it up.

Peter:
Here, call the wife and tell her that Mike has arranged for you to take her out on the town, anywhere she wants to go, anything she wants do. If it's furry, get it. If it's sparkly, get it. I want this credit card company to call me up scared.

Val:
So you're talking some hot girl on girl shopping.

Henry:
You know the worst thing a guy can be in his life is a chump. And when I said that, I totally set myself up to be a chump.

Holly:
You're not a chump.

Henry:
Not yet, but it runs strong in my family. My dad was a chump, his dad was a chump, my cousin's a chuuuump. Somebody's got to step up and break the cycle.

Henry:
You need me to chill out, don't you?

Holly:
So so much.

Henry:
Well, I promise you, I will you I will chill out. Because, I don't want to lose you. And the dentist gave me these. (Holds out some prescription pills)

Holly:
Val, you were awesome, I'm so proud of you. I'll be back in two seconds, I'm gonna hit up the supply closet and steal everything that's not nailed down.

Holly:
Did you figure out your new company's name?

Val:
Yeah.

Holly:
Well, what is it?

Val:
Val Co.

Holly:
Val Co.?

Val:
You'll like it when you see it with the logo.

Holly:
Does it cover up the name "Val Co." ?

Val':
Holly does it really sound that bad?

Holly:
well i think the hobo around the corner will like it

Tina:
(after Holly and Gary beg her to see Jay Miller's loft) Okay, fine, but you have to promise not to touch anything. (looks at Gary)

Gary:
(reluctantly) Why you lookin' at me?

Tina:
Don't you want to know what she looks like?

Holly:
No. I already have her pictured in my head. She's fat, looks like a troll, and has a glass eye.

Tina:
Then why don't I go and report back?

Holly:
What if she's prettier than me?

Tina:
Then I'll lie.

Holly:
What kind of crappy friend are you?!

Holly:
He doesn't look different.

Tina:
Who?

Holly:
Henry, he still looks like a virgin.

Tina:
Yeah, I think he's stuck with that look.

Gary:
Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen?

Vince:
I don't think that's three names or legal.

Gary:
Not for another two hundred and forty-eight days. (loud) I got it! Ann B. Davis! The maid on "The Brady Bunch"!?

Vince:
(pauses, then gives in) Yes.

Holly:
We need cheese.

Vince:
We got cheese.

Holly:
Spicy mustard?

Henry:
Got it.

Holly:
Toothpicks?

Gary:
Right here.

Tina:
Tampons.

All the guys:
Aw, hell no!

Vince:
(to Val and Holly) So it's Friday night and you're going to the gym and you're staying home. You guys are such animals!

Val:
People from Yale are such jackasses.

Vince:
Hey! My father went to Yale!

Val:
Ooh. Sorry. I'm sure he was a very nice man.

Vince:
No, I'm just kidding. My father's a loser.

Vince:
Got any tools?

Holly:
Oh, yeah. (hands Vince small pink tool box)

Vince:
(takes it and pulls out a small red hammer) Could take a while!

Lauren:
(to Val) Your sister's got two boyfriends and you got none!

Holly:
I killed him, Gary, or he's okay we're still waiting.

Vince:
(on what he saw before the car hit him) I also saw my baseball glove, my gross Uncle Ruben, and an unfamiliar cat.

Henry:
(to a shirtless Gary) I got to say I'm really uncomfortable.

Gary:
Yet you can't look away!

Rick:
Look at you!

Val:
Look at you!

Rick:
I'd rather look at you.

Henry:
(to Holly) I would like to point out that the "salad" (Henry) is going to an Ivy League school while the "beef" (Vince) rides a bike for a living.

(After seeing shirtless Gary)

Lauren:
Sweet mother of God!

Val:
Holy crap!

Holly, Tina, and male customer:
Damn!

Holly:
Can you still get girls?

Vince:
Isn't that our whole problem?