X-Men: Evolution, Season 2

(About the New Mutants)

Wolverine:
So those are the new recruits? Looks like we got our hands full.

Professor:
Yes, a spirited bunch, but good kids. However, it's going to be difficult to keep things quiet, and to maintain our anonymity.

Wolverine:
Not to mention our buildings. We're definately going to need more instructors. And maybe a couple of tanks.

Toad:
Man, this bums, yo. Even the flies here think they're better than us.

Blob:
Yeah. I don't even know what we're doing at school anyway.

Quicksilver:
But we do know why Lance is here. He'd like to get a certain Kitty stuck in a tree. K-I-S-S-I....

[Quicksilver speeds away as Lance tries to hit him, causing him to hit Toad instead]

Rogue:
I'm about to feel really big and stupid, if you know what I mean.

(toward Blob, as she prepares to absorb his power.)

[Boom-Boom is selected first for the simulated cliff rescue operation, with Nightcrawler as the victim.]

Boom-Boom:
Yeah! Look out below! Boom-Boom's bombing in!

Nightcrawler:
I'm going to die...

(Boom-Boom is lowered to Nightcrawler's position.)

Boom-Boom:
Hey, cutie!

Nightcrawler:
Hi. I have to know: are you insane?

(Boom-Boom carelessly sweeps Nightcrawler into the stretcher with her foot.)

Nightcrawler:
Ow! I'm an injured victim, not a log!

Boom-Boom:
"Nightcrawler", huh? That name's just not working for you, I'm sorry. Whoa! How about, "Wild Blue Yonder Boy"?

Nightcrawler:
You are insane.

Nightcrawler:
Aha! You forgot to strap me in! Ten points off!

(to Boom-Boom, after he pretends to fall off the stretcher.)

Hank McCoy:
For... in that sleep of... death... what dreams may come when- aaagghh!- we have shuffled off this mortal- coil... AAaagh-MUST give us pause! Hnn-THERE'S... the respect that makes calamity... of SO LONG LIFE!! GAAAGH!!! [tears the sink off the wall in reflex]

Beast:
[groaning] I still look like a monster.

Shadowcat:
Hello? Oh, Lance. Hey, I got it, Bobby! Get off the phone! Sorry. So what's going on? Oh. Yeah right, I can totally see us walking around the mall together. What makes you think I wanna- [Nightcrawler clears his throat; Shadowcats looks, gasps, and sees at a muscular Nightcrawler]

Nightcrawler:
Hey, Kitty. How's it going?

Shadowcat:
Uh, hey let me think about it. I'll call you back. (she hangs up and laughs) What have you done to yourself? [Nightcrawler walks over to her]

Nightcrawler:
I've been working out. Can you tell? [his muscular form disappears back to his regular form] Oh bummer. [he walks out of Shadowcat's room; Shadowcat laughs]

Shadowcat:
You shouldn't be messing with your image inducer, Kurt.

Beast:
[Looking around at all of the melted snow from the mutant snowball fight] Well, so much for our winter wonderland. I can see now that teaching mutants will require entirely different skills.

Nightcrawler:
Hey. Welcome back, sailor.

Cyclops (grinning):
Uh, thanks... ma'am.

Nightcrawler:
Ma'am? What's that suppose to mean? [he looks in the mirror to see a feminine version of him; he gasps] Professor!

Professor Xavier:
I'm sorry. I couldn't resist. [he, Jean, and Cyclops laugh and so does Nightcrawler]

Shadowcat (noticing Kurt holding a mistletoe above her head):
Kurt! In your dreams!

Nightcrawler:
All in the holiday spirit! (he closes his eyes and puckers his lips)

Shadowcat (standing up and running away):
Kurt! Knock it off! (Nightcrawler chases her)

Nightcrawler:
Come on, Kitty! Just one little kiss? Pleeaase? [Nightcrawler and Shadowcat run past Professor Xavier and Wolverine]

Professor Xavier:
Ah, to be young again.

Wolverine:
Yeah... glad that's over.

Cyclops:
You mean he's some kind of demon?

Rogue:
Yeah, right!

Beast:
"There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than you've dreamt of in your philosophy."

Rogue:
Now that's Shakespeare.

(About Angel and his recent vigilantism.)

[About letting Avalanche join the X-Men.]

Cyclops:
Professor, I think this is a mistake. I know Lance; he wouldn't do this unless he wanted something.

Professor X:
Yes, I agree. What he wants, is to be near Kitty.

Cyclops:
But-

Professor X:
I believe he's genuine about his feelings for her. And maybe, that's a good beginning. Now, let's give him a chance.

Professor X:
Well, fortunaly,there's no official mention of the incident. The military must believe it was a UFO sighting, so they are, no doubt, covering it up.

Nightcrawler:
Now all I've got to do is wax the X-Jet and my probation is history (eyes the X-Jet). Ohhh man!

Professor X:
That's all right, Kurt. Consider your probation over. (As Kurt celebrates, Xaiver turns toward the new arrivals) Yours, however, is just begining. And you can start by cleaning the X-Jet

[Wolverine and Nightcrawler escape from a pack of vicious reptilian demons in the "bamf" dimension.]

Wolverine:
Well I'd say they were pretty hostile. Wouldn't you?

Boom-Boom:
Oh, come on! I don't look that bad!

(to Toad and Blob, who scream at the sight of a "bamf" demon, just as she exits the washroom.)

[The demons attack guests at the Bayville High Dance. One goes for Kurt and Amanda.]

Amanda:
Kurt! Get us out of here!

Nightcrawler:
How? We're trapped!

Amanda:
Make us disappear! Hurry! I've seen you do it! Please!

Amanda:
You know, blue really is my favorite color.

(to Nightcrawler, after he reveals his true physical form to her.)

[After Beast returns from his chaotic nightly rampage.]

Beast:
I don't know what to say... I am so sorry about this.

Professor Xavier:
Well, it was bound to happen.

Beast:
What do you mean?

Professor Xavier:
What was it the last time... You attended a drive-in movie, hidden in the bed of a pick-up truck?

Shadowcat:
How much do you know about the Redwoods?

Iceman:
Only that they make great hot tubs.

Beast:
Journey? Where can you go when you can't be seen by the public?

(to Professor Xavier, after he is advised to go on a trip to find himself.)

[After Beast announces his pick of students for an impromptu field trip to Redwood Forest.]

Iceman:
Me? But my grades are improving!

Beast:
Uh-huh. With the speed of a glacier. You, too, Evan.

Spyke:
Aw, come on, teach! Can't I do my studying somewhere else! Like going to the park! There's green stuff there!

(Beast looms in on Spyke in a mock-threatening way, cornering him by the door.)

Spyke:
...do these forests have sidewalks?

[After Sunspot finishes covering the X-Jet in an ample amount of branches.]

Wolfsbane:
It was plenty camouflaged!

Sunspot:
A few more branches couldn't hurt.

Wolfsbane:
I smell overachiever issues.

Beast:
Send me an e-mail, and I'll take your complaint under "advisement".

(to Spyke, as the latter protests at the beginning of the trek.)

Beast:
This is not who I am.

Shadowcat:
Maybe it's who you're meant to be.

Beast:
You can't go back either, huh?

(to a stranded fish beached on the side of a river.)

[After Beast assigns the students to find five different types of rocks.]

Wolfsbane:
Five samples. I guess a go getter like you will bring back ten.

Sunspot:
Maybe twelve. You see, the first five are like a cake; the rest are like the icing. And I like icing.

Wolfsbane:
I thought you were putting on a little weight.

Big Foot Fanatic:
...is he wearing trunks?

(about Beast, whom has been accidentally caught on tape and mistaken as Big Foot.)

Big Foot Fanatic:
It looks like we've got ourselves the real McCoy.

(about Beast, after the expedition successfully captures him.)

Big Foot Research Scientist:
This is a wonder of Nature! It is our duty to respect it!

Hunter 1:
What? It's not like we're going to make a rug out of it!

Hunter 2:
A coat, maybe, but not a rug.

(about the captive Beast, after the hunters comment how much Big Foot will be worth in the market.)

Big Foot Research Scientist:
Good Heavens! You can speak!

(to a captive Beast, as the latter attempts to strike up a friendly intellectual conversation with him.)

[After Boom-Boom barges into the bathroom without knocking, effectively interrupting Toad.]

Toad:
Great! I take one shower a month, and still I get no privacy!

Magma:
Look, didn't your mother teach you not to pick on girls?!

Chop Shop Boss:
Oh, yeah. Yeah, too bad I never listened to her.

Boom Boom:
Well, guess what, braindead? She was right! And here's why!

[Cyclops and Nightcrawler are on a stake-out watching for the girls]

Nightcrawler:
Blue Boy to Tracker One. Do you read? The pigeons are leaving the roost.

Cyclops:
Kurt, I'm right here... and why are you talking like that?

Boom-Boom:
Let me guess: you must be Mistic.

Mystique:
Try Mystique. This is my home, and my rules. Rule Number One: Move out of my room. Think you can handle that, Bam-Bam?

Mystique:
Gentlemen, meet your new secret weapon.

Quicksilver:
Wanda?!

Scarlet Witch:
Pietro?!

[Scarlet Witch goes into a rage and starts using her powers against the Brotherhood.]

Toad:
Ex-girlfriend?

Quicksilver:
Worse! She's my sister!

Toad:
Your sister?

Lance:
Whoa! You two need some serious family councilling!

Boom-Boom:
Room's all yours, Mys-tique!

[after blowing up said room with her time bombs.]

Shadowcat:
... So? What does it need?

Nightcrawler:
Something to wash out the taste.

[about the rubbery muffins Shadowcat made for Home Economics class.]

Shadowcat:
Ok, how do these taste after my last six batches?

Nightcrawler:
Well, better do as he says. [Nightcrawler teleports, dropping Kitty's muffin, which cracks the floor tiles]

Shadowcat:
[to Cyclops] Muffin?

Note:
Jean's mental abilities of telepathy and telekinesis being drastically augmented to tremendously incalculable power levels is foreshadowing the inevitable emergence of the almighty Phoenix Force entity lying within her subconscious mind.

Nightcrawler:
What is going on up there?

Shadowcat:
Yeah, is Jean all right?

Charles:
No, she's not. Her powers are evolving too rapidly for her too control.

[Jean has telekinetically pinned Beast to the wall.]

Spyke:
[Starts walking towards Beast] Show his eyes, and grieve his heart.

Storm:
[Lands] Evan, no! Stay back!

Spyke:
Come like shadows, so depart. Sleep shall neither night nor day. Hang upon his penthouse lid. He shall live a man forbid. Weary s'nights nine times nine. Shall he dwindle peak and pine.

[Nightcrawler teleports in with Charles.]

Charles:
[Puts his hand on Beast's head, telepathically] Hank, listen to me. [Puts his other hand on his own head] You're still there. You know what's happening to you, so take control. You're stronger than the beast. Don't give up.

Spyke:
Though his part cannot be lost, yet it shall be tempest tossed.

[Beast is staring at his reflection in the mirror.]

Beast:
[Sighs, then turns to Charles and Evan] I still look like a monster.

Charles:
But you're now in the one place where that doesn't matter.

Beast:
I can still feel it, though, inside.

Charles:
And you probably always will.

Beast:
The worst part is– the very thing I feared most has happened. My teaching days are over now that I look like this.

Evan:
Not so, teach. The prof can outfit you with an image inducer like Kurt's.

Beast:
To look like whom? Hank McCoy? He's a wanted fugitive.

Evan:
But you can be anybody.

Beast:
With a beast inside trying to claw its way out, I just can't risk it.

Charles:
What you need, Hank, are students who know your secrets, who have secrets of their own, and who need a man of your compassion to teach them.

Spyke:
[to an overweight Kurt] Dude, lay off the burger bombs.

Beast:
Be not forgetful to entertain strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.

Professor Xavier:
Shakespeare?

Beast:
The Bible.

[Rogue cranks the Jack-in-the-Box until Mesmero's face pops up.]

Rogue:
The mind-bending Mesmero. He was in Bayville last week with that circus of mystery.

Charles:
Then we need to attend their next engagement.

Hank:
[Enters] Professor. The last remaining ring? It resides in Washington D.C., at the Museum of Eastern Antiquities.

[After telekinetically knocking Charles down, Mesmero goes into the tent. His control over the other X-Men finally wears off.]

Shadowcat:
[Relieved] Whoa. [Confused] What's going on? How did we get here?

Wolverine:
[Massaging his injured shin] Yeah, sure, now you're all better.

[Jean slowly wakes up.]

Cyclops:
[Crouches down to help Jean up] Easy, Jean.

Jean:
Scott?

Cyclops:
I'm right here. Everything's okay.

[Rogue puts Charles back in his wheelchair, then uses the telekinesis she absorbed from Jean to tear apart the tent, but realizes that Mesmero is gone.]

Rogue:
[Realizes that Mesmero is gone] Hey! Where'd he go?!

Beast:
[To Charles] Are you all right? Did Mesmero hurt you?

Charles:
Not Mesmero, Hank. Mesmero was just another puppet, like Jean. There was someone else pulling the strings. A mind more powerful than anything I've ever encountered.

Wolverine:
What could he possibly want with those rings?

Charles:
I really don't know, but I doubt we'll like the answer.

[Two hunters are searching for Bigfoot, using whistles that replicate animal calls]

Hunter 1:
Where I can I get one of those?

Hunter 2:
Bigfoot trading post. Ask for Mulder

[Beast swings in the trees above them while The X-Files theme plays]

[After Boom-Boom barges into the bathroom without knocking, effectively interrupting Toad.]

Toad:
Man! I take one shower a month, and still I get no privacy!

Boom Boom:
Here, you dropped the soap.

[She drops bombs into the bath, causing water to spill out along with a screaming Todd]

Boom Boom:
[to Blob, who is walking upstairs] Ya know, Freddie, mohawks are so last century. [to Avalanche, who is rummaging around in the fridge] Lance! Any gas in your jeep?

Avalanche:
Yeah. Why?

[Boom Boom drives off in Lance's jeep]

Avalanche:
She's taken my ride!

Scarlet Witch:
Hello, Father.

Magneto:
Wanda! Not now!

Scarlet Witch:
You locked me away.

Magneto:
You gave me no choice. You couldn't control your anger.

Scarlet Witch:
You haven't seen me angry, until now!