Abraxas, Guardian of the Universe

Father:
So what makes you think you can locate my 4-by-4?

Abraxas:
My box has VD, trust me.

Mother:
Your what?

Abraxas:
VD. Vibrational Detection.

Secundus:
What's this?

First Waitress:
The bill.

Secundus:
Did I order this?

First Waitress:
Everybody gets one.

Secundus:
I see.

Secundus:
Very pleasant.

Secundus:
Put your gun in my pocket!

Secundus:
Follow me, and she dies! Have a nice day!

Abraxas:
Hello. I suppose you're not tired. Do you want to sit up here with me? I'll tell you a story. It's about two men who were partners.

Deputy White:
All right, so who do you think these guys are, Shriners?

Sheriff Sharp:
So what are you doing for Christmas?

Deputy White:
Well, I was going to go home to see my parents but they don't like me very much.

Sheriff Sharp:
Sure they do.

Deputy White:
Anyways I got a lot of work to catch up on. I'm going to stay in town. I'll clean my guns or something.

Hite:
You've endangered the lives of millions of people for the sake of one woman and one child.

Abraxas:
I think you're over-dramatizing the situation, Hite.

Abraxas:
It's over.

Secundus:
Right. I win. The girl will bear my child, and he will be the answer.

Abraxas:
Why? You had it all. An almost immortal lifespan. Virtually unlimited power!

Secundus:
Almost? Virtually? It's not enough, when I can have it all! The key is the birth of a comater. The comater will be able to compute the anti-life equation. That child will be a comater. Join me. To stop me now, you have to kill the girl. I know you, you can't do that.

Abraxas' Answer Box:
Communication from command: Secundus will be transported to penal planet Tyrannus 7, a travel warp is operative.

Secundus:
HAHAHA! It doesn't matter! I win... see you soon Abraxas.

Garage Owner:
Hey, what are you doin' in my shop?

Secundus:
I am recharging my answerbox.

Garage Owner:
Whatever the hell that is, you sure picked the wrong place to do it.

Secundus:
You're quite a big man.

Garage Owner:
Big enough to take you, pal!

Secundus:
Yes?

Secundus:
Test for the anti-life equation!

Secundas' Answer Box:
Subject does not posses the anti-life equation, testing will result in discorporation.

Secundus:
RUN THE TEST!

Secundus:
You failed.

Teacher:
Can I help you?

Secundus:
Bring me the comater.

Teacher:
What?

Secundus:
I said: Bring me the comater, or I will kill all these children... one at the time!

Secundus:
I looooove children.

Secundus:
Are you a birthing member of the human race?

Sonia:
Huh?

Secundus:
I need your body!

Secundus:
I'm looking for a man. A wo-man.

Cocky Youth:
Women. Ah, you're looking for women. Like exotic dancers.

Secundus:
I'm not familiar with the term “exotic dancer”.

Secundas' Answer Box:
Exotic dancers are birthing members of this species performing contemporary fertility rites.