Airport

Ada Quonsett:
My late husband played the violin. Not professionally, but he was very good. He once played the Minute Waltz in 58 seconds.

Joe Patroni:
Hold on, we're goin' for broke!

Joe Patroni:
I'll be back in time if I have to pull that plane out with my teeth!

Joe Patroni:
Let us put it this way: You promised me a box of cigars if I pull this off, right? Well, what're you standing here for? Go get 'em!

Mel Bakersfeld:
Don't talk to me about consequences! When Congress voted to cut airport appropriations, you never even sent in a letter of protest. And where were you when the airlines and the pilots and the rest of us were... were pleading for... for more airports and better traffic control? You were picking out the colors in the ladies' lounge. So now you've got your consequences!

Joe Patroni:
Hold the whipped cream; I just had dessert.

Mel Bakersfeld:
They're having a conference now to decide what to do. But I need somebody who knows. A genius. Like Patroni.

Ada Quonsett:
When you get to be older, there isn't a lot left to be frightened of.

Mel Bakersfeld:
If you're wondering if we had another fight, the answer is no. Just a continuation of the same one.

Captain Anson Harris:
Helen was a stewardess, flying DC-4s. That's how we met and, uh, she knew what was going on. So when we got married, I made her a promise - the obvious one. I always kept it.

Joe Patroni:
That's one nice thing about the 707. She can do everything but read.

Marcus Rathbone:
What's more, the captain deliberately struck me across the face!

Cy Jordan:
Unless you shut up, the second officer's going to do exactly the same thing.

Captain Anson Harris:
Remind me to send a thank you note to Mr. Boeing.

Joe Patroni:
You chickened out on me! I told you I wanted all the power you got!

Capt. Benson:
Full throttle and this plane would be standing on its nose.

Joe Patroni:
You might fly these things but I take them apart and put them back together again. If you had any guts we'd be on the runway by now.

Capt. Benson:
You felt it vibrating? Another 10 seconds and we'd have had structural damage.

Joe Patroni:
Who do ya think you're talking to, some kid that fixes bicycles? I know every inch of the 707! Take the wings off this and you could use it as a TANK! This plane is built to withstand anything... except a bad pilot.

Joe Patroni:
Aww, a tractor-trailer jack-knifed and flipped over. It's laying on its side like a drunken dinosaur.

Ada Quonsett:
Now there's nothing to be nervous about. I've flown thousands of miles and I can tell you it's a lot safer than crossing the street!

Marcus Rathbone:
That's personal property!

Capt. Vernon Demerest:
You better get this thing out of here 'cause I'm not taking off on 2-2.

Mel Bakersfeld:
You'll use what's available!

Capt. Vernon Demerest:
Well, if it's 2-2, I'm not using noise abatement and I'm not cutting back on power over those houses. So unless you want a big fat bill for cracked plaster and broken dishes, you'd better move this thing!

Ada Quonsett:
You've been so busy, we just haven't had a chance to chat. I'm Ada Quonsett.

D.O. Guerrero:
How do you do.

Ada Quonsett:
What's your name, sir?

D.O. Guerrero:
Guerrero.

Ada Quonsett:
Guerrero! That's Spanish, isn't it?

D.O. Guerrero:
Yes, but way... back.

Ada Quonsett:
You look more Irish.

D.O. Guerrero:
So did my mother.

Joe Patroni:
The sudden decompression at 30, 000 feet is something you gotta see to believe.

Tanya Livingston:
He'll get sucked out, won't he?

Joe Patroni:
As well as anyone sitting next to him. Until that pressure equalizes, everything within 20 feet to him that's not nailed on or strapped is gonna get sucked right out of that hole.

Bert Weatherby:
Is it that powerful, are you sure?

Joe Patroni:
Humph! Yeah, I'm sure. When I was a mechanic in the Air Force, I was being transferred on a MATS plane. At 20, 000 feet, one of the windows shattered. The guy sitting next to it was about 170 pounds. He went through that little space like a hunk of hamburger going down the disposal. Right after him coats, pillows, blankets, cups, saucers. Yeah, I'm sure!

Mel Bakersfeld:
Takes about 3 seconds, doesn't it?

Joe Patroni:
3, 4 or 5, depends on the size of the hole. Everything fogs up just like that.

Joe Patroni:
And THEN watch out! At that altitude, you can't breathe. So unless they get on oxygen in 45 seconds, it's good-bye!

Gwen Meighen:
Nuts to the man in 21D.

Ruth:
You said it.

Ada Quonsett:
My late husband taught me to be thorough. He was a teacher of geometry. He always said: "You must consider every angle."

Tanya Livingston:
My late husband was a lawyer, and he always said: "Watch out for sweet-looking innocent, little old ladies." I'm beginning to understand what he meant.

Inez Guerrero:
This time, do me one favor. If your boss says two and two is six, agree with him.

[an elderly woman walks by carrying her luggage]

Capt. Vernon Demerest:
Hey, now, that's a good idea, Mel. Using little old ladies for skycaps. You keep that up. You're doing a good job.

Sarah Bakersfeld Demerest:
[after Vernon leaves] Mel! For my sake, be patient with him.

Mel Bakersfeld:
How you can live with that overage juvenile deliquent, I'll never know.

Sarah Bakersfeld Demerest:
There's just the two of us. If I left him, what would I have?

Mel Bakersfeld:
Would you have any more if he decided to leave you?

Sarah Bakersfeld Demerest:
He won't. The moment a girl gets too serious, he waves his wedding ring like a flag. I'm his disaster insurance.

Mel Bakersfeld:
More like group insurance!

Sarah Bakersfeld Demerest:
Thanks for caring, Mel. Don't worry. Someday he'll come home for some other reason than to just change his clothes.

Mel Bakersfeld:
Well, I hope so.

Technician:
the instruction book said that was impossible

Patroni:
that’s the great thing about the 707. She can do everything except READ.

Joe Patroni:
Okay. But you keep those dinky toys out of my hair and away from this plane for 15 minutes, maybe less. I'll DRIVE it out.

Joe Patroni:
Nice going sweetheart (as he taps the fuselage of the damaged plane)