Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery

Austin Powers:
Jimi Hendrix deceased, drugs. Janis Joplin deceased, alcohol. Mama Cass deceased, ham sandwich.

Dr. Evil:
Do you like your quasi-futuristic clothes Mr. Powers? I designed them myself.

Dr. Evil:
Why must I be surrounded by frickin' idiots?

Austin Powers:
Shall we shag now, or shall we shag later? How do you like to do it? Do you like to wash up first? You know, top and tails... whores bath? Personally before I'm on the job, I like to give my undercarriage a bit of a how's your father!

Alotta Fagina:
Some sake, Mr. Cunningham?

Austin Powers:
Sake it to me baby!

Scott Evil:
Well my friend Sweet Jay took me to that video arcade in town, right, and they don't speak English there, so Jay got into a fight and he's all, "Hey quit hasslin' me cuz' I don't speak French" or whatever! And then the guy said something in Paris talk, and I'm like, "Just back off!" And they're all, "Get out!" And we're like, "Make me!" It was cool.

Scott Evil:
It's no hassle...

Dr. Evil:
Sh!

Scott Evil:
But...

Dr. Evil:
Sh!

Scott Evil:
I'm...

Dr. Evil:
Sh!

Scott Evil:
All I'm say...

Dr. Evil:
Sh!

Scott Evil:
There gonna get a...

Dr. Evil:
Sh!

Scott Evil:
I'm...

Dr. Evil:
Sh!

Scott Evil:
I'm just...

Dr. Evil:
Sh!

Scott Evil:
Would...

Dr. Evil:
Sh!... Knock-knock.

Scott Evil:
Who's there?

Dr. Evil:
Sh!

Scott Evil:
But...

Dr. Evil:
Let me tell you a little story about a man named Sh! Sh! even before you start. That was a pre-emptive "sh!" Now, I have a whole bag of "sh!" with your name on it.

Austin Powers:
I've been frozen for 30 years. I've got to see if my bits and pieces are still working.

Austin Powers:
That ain't no woman! It's a man, man!

Vanessa Kensington:
Mr. Powers, I would never have sex with you, ever! If you were the last man on earth and I was the last woman on earth, and the future of the human race depended on our having sex, simply for procreation, I still would not have sex with you.

Austin Powers:
What's your point, Vanessa?

Dr. Evil:
That makes me angry, and when Dr. Evil gets angry Mr. bigglesworth gets upset. And when Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset, people DIE!

Austin Powers:
She's the village bicycle! Everybody's had a ride.

Austin Powers:
That's Dr. Evil's cat!

Vanessa Kensington:
How can you tell?

Austin Powers:
I never forget a p*ssy... cat.

Vanessa Kensington:
Look, I know I'm being neurotic, but I can't shake off this suspicious feeling about Miss Fagina. I don't want to sound paranoid, but I've had some bad relationships in the past, and I have been known to be jealous. I'm sorry.

Austin Powers:
No, don't be sorry, baby. You're right to be suspicious. I shagged her.

Vanessa Kensington:
Did you used protection ?

Austin Powers:
Of course. I had my 9mm automatic.

Vanessa Kensington:
You know I meant, did you use a condom?

Austin Powers:
No, only sailors wear condoms baby.

Vanessa Kensington:
Not in the '90s Austin.

Austin Powers:
Well they should, those filthy beggars. They go from port to port.

Austin Powers:
Yeah, baby, yeah

Dr. Evil:
The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.

Dr. Evil:
Scott, I want you to meet daddy's nemesis, Austin Powers

Scott Evil:
What? Are you feeding him? Why don't you just kill him?

Dr. Evil:
I have an even better idea. I'm going to place him in an easily escapable situation involving an overly elaborate and exotic death.

Dr. Evil:
All right guard, begin the unnecessarily slow-moving dipping mechanism.

Dr. Evil:
Close the tank!

Scott Evil:
Wait, aren't you even going to watch them? They could get away!

Dr. Evil:
No no no, I'm going to leave them alone and not actually witness them dying, I'm just gonna assume it all went to plan. What?

Scott Evil:
I have a gun, in my room, you give me five seconds, I'll get it, I'll come back down here, BOOM, I'll blow their brains out!

Dr. Evil:
Scott, you just don't get it, do ya? You don't.

Dr. Evil:
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to my underground lair. I have gathered here before me the world's deadliest assassins.

Scott Evil:
I was thinking I like animals. Maybe I'd be a vet.

Dr. Evil:
An evil vet?

Scott Evil:
No! Maybe like work in a petting zoo.

Dr. Evil:
An evil petting zoo?

Scott Evil:
You always do that!

Scott Evil:
I just think, like, he hates me. I really think he wants to kill me.

Therapist:
He doesn't really want to kill you. Sometimes we just say that.

Dr. Evil:
No actually the boy is quite astute. I really am trying to kill him, but so far unsuccessfully. He's quite wily, like his old man.

Paddy O'Brien:
They're always after me lucky charms.

Paddy O'Brien:
What? Why does everyone always laugh when I say that? They ARE after me lucky charms!

Austin Powers:
Name? Austin Danger Powers. Sex? Yes please!

Austin Powers:
Allow myself to introduce... myself.

Austin Powers:
This is my happening and it freaks me out!

Austin Powers:
Judo chop!

Austin Powers:
Not the time to lose one's head.

Vanessa Kensington:
No.

Austin Powers:
That's not the way to get ahead in life.

Vanessa Kensington:
No.

Austin Powers:
It's a shame he wasn't more headstrong.

Vanessa Kensington:
Hmm.

Austin Powers:
He'll never be the head of a major corporation.

Vanessa Kensington:
Okay, that'll do.

Austin Powers:
Okay.

Vanessa Kensington:
That's you in a nutshell.

Austin Powers:
No, this is me in a nutshell: "Help! I'm in a nutshell! How did I get into this bloody great big nutshell? What kind of shell has a nut like this?"

U.N. Representative:
So, Mr. Evil...

Dr. Evil:
It's Dr. Evil, I didn't spend six years in Evil Medical School to be called "mister," thank you very much.

Austin Powers:
Au contraire baby, you can't resist me.

Austin Powers:
That's not your mother, it's a man, baby!

Austin Powers:
That really hurt! I'm gonna have a lump there, you idiot! Who throws a shoe? Honestly! You fight like a woman!

Austin Powers:
Actually, my name is Austin Powers. Danger is my middle name.

Austin Powers:
Does that make you HORNY?

Austin Powers:
Do I make you horny? Randy? Do I make you horny, baby, yeah, do I?

Scott Evil:
I hate you! I hate you! I wish I was never artificially created in a lab!

Dr. Evil:
Scott, that hurts daddy when you say that. Honestly.

Alotta Fagina:
In Japan, men come first and women come second.

Austin Powers:
Or sometimes not at all.

Dr. Evil:
Begin the unnecessarily slow-moving dipping mechanism!

Basil Exposition:
Austin, the Cold War is over!

Austin Powers:
Finally those capitalist pigs will pay for their crimes, eh? Eh comrades? Eh?

Basil Exposition:
Austin... we won.

Austin Powers:
Oh, smashing, groovy, yay capitalism!

Dr. Evil:
I like to see girls of that... caliber.

Dr. Evil:
By "caliber," of course, I refer to both the size of their gun barrels and the high quality of their characters... Two meanings... caliber... it's a homonym... Forget it.

Austin Powers:
I won't bite... hard.

Austin Powers:
Hey! There you are!

Tourist:
Hi... do I know you?

Austin Powers:
No, but that's where you are! You're there!

Austin Powers:
My god, Vanessa's got a fabulous body... I bet she shags like a minx.

Vanessa Kensington:
Mr. Powers, my job is to acclimatize you to the nineties. You know, a lot's changed since 1967.

Austin Powers:
No doubt, love, but as long as people are still having promiscuous sex with many anonymous partners without protection while at the same time experimenting with mind-expanding drugs in a consequence-free environment, I'll be sound as a pound!

Basil Exposition:
What's the other?

Austin Powers:
Excuse me?

Basil Exposition:
What's the other thing that scares you?

Austin Powers:
Carnies. Circus folk. Nomads, you know. Smell like cabbage. Small hands.

Austin Powers:
No, you're right to be suspicious! I shagged her!

Vanessa Kensington:
What?

Austin Powers:
I shagged her rotten, baby, yeah!

Dr. Evil:
Finally, we come to my number two man. His name? Number Two.

Austin Powers:
Well, no offense, but if that is a woman it looks like she was beaten with an ugly stick!

Austin Powers:
I think you're shagedelic baby! You're switched on! You're smashing! You're shagadelic, baby!

Austin Powers:
Smashing, baby

Austin Powers:
It's freedom, baby, yeah!

Dr. Evil:
There's nothing as pathetic as an aging hipster.

Austin Powers:
What exactly do you do, Mr. Number Two?

Number Two:
That's my business. Now if you'll excuse, I have to go to the little boys' room.

Austin Powers:
Yeah, and I can't believe Liberace was gay. I mean, women loved him! I didn't see that one coming.

Austin Powers:
No, actually, I'm English.

Austin Powers:
Come again?

Alotta Fagina:
Alotta Fagina

Austin Powers:
Oh, I'm sorry, I'm just not getting it, it sounds like you said your name was a lot of um... never mind!

Frau Farbissina:
Remember when we froze your semen? You said that if it didn't look like you were coming back we should try to create an heir so a part of you would live forever?

Dr. Evil:
Oh sure.

Frau Farbissina:
Well, after a couple of years we got a little... impatient. Dr Evil, I would like you to meet your son.

Dr. Evil:
My son?

Frau Farbissina:
Ja. SCOTT!

Dr. Evil:
Hello Scott.

Scott Evil:
Hi.

Dr. Evil:
I'm your father. Dr Evil.

Scott Evil:
I haven't seen you my whole life and now you just show up and *expect* a relationship? I hate you. What?

Dr. Evil:
Can I have a hug?

Scott Evil:
No.

Dr. Evil:
Give me a hug.

Scott Evil:
No way.

Dr. Evil:
Come on. Let's go. Pronto.

Scott Evil:
What are you doing?

Dr. Evil:
I'm with it. I'm hip. Well, don't look at me like I'm friggin' Frankenstein! Come here and give your father a hug.

Scott Evil:
Get away from me, you lazy-eyed psycho!

Dr. Evil:
Hug, hug, hug.

Austin Powers:
Wait Vanessa, I can explain. You see, I was looking for Dr. Evil when the Fembots came out and smoke started coming out of their jomblies. So I started to work my mojo, to counter their mojo; we got cross-mojulation, and their heads started exploding.

Austin Powers:
Who does Number Two work for? Who does Number Two work for?

Cowboy:
Yeah, that's it! You show that turd who's boss.

Cowboy:
Jesus Christ, boy! What did you eat?

Austin Powers:
WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?

Basil Exposition:
The shouting is a temporary side-effect of the unfreezing.

Austin Powers:
Yes... I'm having difficulty controlling THE VOLUME OF MY VOICE.

Dr. Evil:
I demand the sum... OF 1 MILLION DOLLARS.

Dr. Evil:
One more peep out of you and you're grounded Mister and I am not joking. Let's begin.

Alotta Fagina:
How dare you break wind before me

Austin Powers:
I'm sorry I didn't realize it was your turn

Austin Powers:
My name is Richie Cunningham, and this is my lovely wife, Oprah.

Austin Powers:
Excuse me, but you didn't happen to see...

Austin Powers:
...anything at all.

Austin Powers:
Pardon me for being rude. It was not me, it was my food. It just popped up to say hello, and now it's gone back down below.

Austin Powers:
Its time to swing, baby.

Frau Farbissina:
Send in the FEMBOTS!

P.A.:
Stage 5: Evacuation beginning.

[Austin urinates in the toilet for a long period of time; all the while, Basil looks at his watch, until Austin has stopped]

P.A.:
Evacuation com--

[Austin continues urination; stops again]

P.A.:
Evacuation com--

[trickle]

P.A.:
Com--

[trickle]

P.A.:
Com--

[trickle; slight pause]

P.A.:
Evacuation com--

[Austin continues urination]

Dr. Evil:
Gentlemen, welcome to my underground lair. Its been 30 years, but I'm back. Everything's gone perfectly to plan except one small flaw. Due to a technical error by my henchman Mustafa, complications arose in the unfreezing process.

Mustafa:
But my design was perfect.

Dr. Evil:
Look what you did to Mr. Bigglesworth!

[he reveals that Mr. Bigglesworth is now hairless]

Mustafa:
But, Dr. Evil, we were unable to anticipate feline complications due to the reanimation process.

Dr. Evil:
Silence! [pushes a button; Mustafa's chair tilts back dropping him into the pit of fire] Let this be a reminder to you all that this organization will not tolerate failure. [Mustafa can be heard moaning from an air vent] Gentlemen, lets get down to business. [Mustafa's moans continue] We've got a lot of work to do.

Mustafa:
Someone help me! I'm still alive, only I'm very badly burned.

Dr. Evil:
Some of you I know, some of you I'm meeting for the first time.

Mustafa:
Hello, up there! Anyone?! Can someone call an ambulance? I'm in quite a lot of pain.

Dr. Evil:
Okay, you've all been gathered here to form my evil cabinet-- [Mustafa starts again] Excuse me. [picks up his phone and talks to a henchmen on the other line] Yes, he's down there.

Henchman:
[almost inaudible] Is he dead yet?

Dr. Evil:
No. Not dead. Burnt, badly.

Henchman:
Would you like me to take care of him, possibly with a gun?

Dr. Evil:
Yes.

Henchman:
Kill him?

Dr. Evil:
Right. [hangs up]

Mustafa:
If somebody can open the retrieval hatch, down here I can get out. See, I designed this device myself-- [a hatch is heard opening] - Oh, hi. Good. I'm glad you found me. Listen. I'm very badly burned, so if you could just-- [a gunshot fires] You shot me!

Dr. Evil:
Okay, moving on.

Mustafa:
You shot me right in the arm! Why did-- [another gunshot fires; all is silent for a moment, then the hatch is heard closing]

Dr. Evil:
Right.

Vanessa:
Austin, can I have a word with you?

Austin:
Of course you may, love.

Vanessa:
Look, I know I'm being neurotic, but I can't shake off this suspicious feeling about that Italian secretary. You know, Miss Fagina? I don't wanna sound paranoid, but I've had some bad relationships in the past, and I have been known to be jealous. I'm sorry.

Austin:
No, don't be sorry, baby. You were right to be suspicious. I shagged her.

Vanessa:
What?

Austin:
I shagged her rotten, baby! Yeah!

Vanessa:
I don't believe you, Austin! She was repellent!

Austin:
Saucer of milk, table 2. [meows like a cat]

Vanessa:
Did you use protection?

Austin:
'Course. I had my 9-millimeter automatic.

Vanessa:
You know I meant, did you use a condom?

Austin:
[laughs] Only sailors use condoms, baby.

Vanessa:
Not in the 90s, Austin!

Austin:
Well, they should, those filthy beggars. They go from port to port.

[Vanessa huffily heads to bed]

Austin:
Vanessa, don't have a thrombo! Alotta meant nothing to me.

Vanessa:
Well, it means something to me. Austin, if you want us to have a relationship, you have to get it into your head that times have changed! You can't just go off shagging anybody anymore, and if you could, I wouldn't, because I'm not like that!

Austin:
Vanessa, you're everything to me.

Vanessa:
You just don't get it, do you? Good night, Austin. Welcome to the 90s. You're gonna be very lonely.

Austin:
[holds Scott hostage] It seems the tables have turned again, Dr. Evil.

Dr. Evil:
Not really. Kill the little bastard. See what I care.

Scott:
But dad, we just had a breakthrough in group.

Dr. Evil:
I had the group liquidated, you little sh*t! They were insolent!

Scott:
I hate you! I hate you! I wish I was never artificially created in a lab!

Dr. Evil:
Oh, Scott, that hurts daddy when you say that. Honestly.

[Number Two arrives with two briefcases and a gun]

Dr. Evil:
Ahh. Number Two, your timing is impeccable. Go ahead. Take Mr. Powers away.

Number Two:
[points his gun at Dr. Evil] No.

Dr. Evil:
What?

Number Two:
Dr. Evil, I spent 30 years of my life turning this two-bit evil empire into a world class multi-national. I was going to have a cover story with Forbes. [Dr. Evil puts his hands up] But you, like an idiot, want to take over the world. And you don't realize there is no world anymore! It's only corporations!

Dr. Evil:
[puts his hands down] Silence, Number Two!

Number Two:
NO! [whimpers] I've had enough of you pushing me around! [to Austin] Mr. Powers, I have a business proposition you might find very interesting. [sits down on a chair while Austin walks forward to the table in front of Number 2]

Dr. Evil:
All right, I've had enough. [pushes the button that causes Number Two's chair to tilt back and drop him into the pit of fire]

Dr. Evil:
Mr. Powers, you'll notice that all the sharks have laser beams attached to their heads. I figure every creature deserves a warm meal.

Number Two:
Dr. Evil, it's about the sharks. When you were frozen, they were put on the endangered species list. We tried to get some, but it would've taken months to clear up the red tape.

Dr. Evil:
You know, I have one simple request. And that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads! Now evidently, my cycloptic colleague informs me that that can't be done. Can you remind me what I pay you people for? Honestly, throw me a bone here. What do we have?

Number Two:
Sea bass.

Dr. Evil:
Right.

Number Two:
They are mutated sea bass.

Dr. Evil:
Really? Are they ill-tempered?

Number Two:
Absolutely.

Dr. Evil:
That's a start.

Dr. Evil:
Begin the unnecessarily slow-moving dipping mechanism.

[Guard starts dipping mechanism]

Dr. Evil:
Close the tank!

Scott:
Wait, aren't you even gonna watch them? They could get away.

Dr. Evil:
No-no-no, I'm going to leave them alone and not actually witness them dying, I'm just gonna assume it all went to plan. What?

Scott:
I have a gun in my room. You give me 5 seconds, I'll get it. I'll come back down here, BOOM! I'll blow their brains out!

Dr. Evil:
Scott, you just don't get it, do ya? You don't.

Scott:
It's no hassle--

Dr. Evil:
Shh!

Scott:
But--

Dr. Evil:
Shh!

Scott:
I'm--

Dr. Evil:
Shh!

Scott:
All I'm say--

Dr. Evil:
Shh!

Scott:
They're gonna get a--

Dr. Evil:
Shh!

Scott:
I'm--

Dr. Evil:
Shh!

Scott:
I'm just--

Dr. Evil:
Shh!

Scott:
Would--

Dr. Evil:
Knock-knock.

Scott:
Who's there?

Dr. Evil:
Shh!

Scott:
But--

Dr. Evil:
Let me tell you a little story about a man named SHH! SHH! Even before you start, that was a pre-emptive "shh!" Just know that I have a whole bag of "shh!" with your name on it.

Quartermaster Clerk:
[returns Austin's personal effects after the reanimation process] One Swedish-made penis enlarger pump.

Austin:
That's not mine.

Clerk:
One credit card receipt for Swedish-made penis enlarger, signed by Austin Powers.

Austin:
I'm telling ya baby, that's not mine!

Clerk:
One warranty card for Swedish-made penis enlarger pump, filled out by Austin Powers.

Austin:
I don't even know what this is! This sort of thing ain't my bag, baby!

Clerk:
One book, "Swedish-Made Penis Enlarger Pumps and Me: (This Sort of Thing Is My Bag, Baby)", by Austin Powers.

Austin:
Ah.

Clerk:
Just sign the form.

Austin:
Okay, thank you, handy man. I'll sign here, just to get things moving. [laughs] You know.

Dr. Evil:
Scott, I want you to meet daddy's nemesis, Austin Powers.

Scott:
What, are you feedin' him? Why don't you just kill him?

Dr. Evil:
No, Scott, I have a better idea. I'm going to place him in an easily escapable situation involving an overly elaborate and exotic death.

Scott:
Why don't you shoot him now? I mean, come on, I'll go get a gun. We'll shoot 'im together. It'll be fun. BANG! Dead. Done.

Dr. Evil:
One more peep out of you and you are grounded, mister! And I am not joking!

Fembots:
(one by one) You can't resist us, Mr. Powers.

Austin:
Au contraire, baby. I think that you can't resist me.

[Austin and Vanessa see a man decapitated by the sea bass]

Austin:
Not a good time to lose one's "head".

Vanessa:
Indeed.

Austin:
That's not the way to get "ahead" in life.

Vanessa:
No.

Austin:
It's a shame he wasn't more "headstrong".

Vanessa:
Hmm.

Austin:
He'll never be the "head" of a major corporation.

Vanessa:
Okay, that'll do.

Austin:
Okay.

Vanessa:
Always wanting to have fun, Austin. That's you in a nutshell!

Austin:
No, this is me in a nutshell. [acts as if he were in a nutshell] Help! I'm in a nutshell! How did I get into this nutshell?! Look at the size of this bloody great big nutshell! What sort of shell has a nut like this?! This is crazy!

Casino Dealer:
17.

Number Two:
[scans the next card with his X-ray eye patch] Hit me.

Dealer:
You have 17, sir.

Number Two:
I like to live dangerously.

Dealer:
[reveals the next card] 4. 21.

[he turns to Austin after dealing him his next card]

Dealer:
5.

Austin:
[waves his hands over his cards] I'll stay.

Dealer:
I suggest you hit, sir.

Austin:
I also like to live dangerously.

Dealer:
As you wish, sir. [flips his cards over] 20 beats your 5. I'm sorry, sir.

Austin:
Well, I won't lie to you. Cards are not my bag, baby.

Vanessa:
Morning, Austin. You know, I sometimes forget you've missed out on the last 30 years. The fall of the Berlin Wall, first female British Prime Minister, end of apartheid.

Austin:
Yeah, and I can't believe Liberace was gay. I mean, women loved him, man. I didn't see that one coming. No.

Dr. Evil:
Patty O'Brien, ex-Irish assassin. His trademark: A superstitious man, he leaves a tiny keepsake from his good-luck bracelet on every victim he kills. Scotland Yard would love to get their hands on that piece of evidence.

O'Brien:
Yeah. They're always after me lucky charms. [Dr. Evil and Frau laugh] What? Why does everyone always laugh when I say that? They are after me lucky charms! What?

Frau:
It's a television commercial. With this cartoon leprechaun, and all of these children are trying to chase him, "Hey, leprechaun, leprechaun man, we want to get your lucky charms." Oh! And there are these little tiny pieces of marshmallow just stuck right in the cereal. So when the kids eat them they think, "Oooh, this is candy, I'm having fun!".

Austin Powers:
My God, Vanessa's got a fabulous body. I bet she shags like a minx. How do I tell her that, because of the unfreezing process, I have no inner-monologue? [beat] I hope I didn't say that out loud just now.

Austin Powers:
Oh, behave!

Austin Powers:
Groovy, baby!

Austin Powers:
Let me ask you a question, and be honest. (activates a spinning bed) Do I make you horny? Randy? Do I make you horny, baby? Yeah!

Austin Powers:
Shall we shag now, or shall we shag later?

Austin Powers:
[after punching what seems to be a waitress] That ain't no woman. It's a man, man. [exposes the identity of the "waitress"] He's one of Dr. Evil's assassins.

Austin Powers:
Pardon me for being rude.

Austin Powers:
[Austin tries to resist the Fembots] Baseball, cold showers, baseball, cold showers. [one of the fembots stands over him and opens her legs] Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day! Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day!

Dr. Evil:
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to my underground lair. I have gathered here before me the world's deadliest assassins. And yet, each of you has failed to kill Austin Powers. That makes me angry. And when Dr. Evil gets angry, Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset. And when Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset, people DIE!!

Dr. Evil:
Throw me a frickin' bone here!

Dr. Evil:
Gentlemen, it's come to my attention that a breakaway Russian republic, Kreplachistan, is about to transfer a nuclear warhead to the United Nations in a few days. Here's the plan. We get the warhead, and we hold the world ransom for... $1,000,000.

Dr. Evil:
[to Scott, who is cornered by Austin] I had the group liquidated, you little sh*t. They were insolent.

Dr. Evil:
[in his frozen chamber at the end of the film] I'm gonna get you, Austin Powers! It's frickin' freezing in here, Mr. Bigglesworth.