Crash: Mind Over Mutant

Uka-Uka:
Stealing my mojo to power your NVs... that's low, even for you! But why do you keep feeding me cake? [another slice gets shoved in his mouth]

Dr. Neo Cortex:
Oh that? I just thought it would be mean. Seriously, you're never going to be able to eat cake again. Imagine that... life without cake!

Uka-Uka:
You fiend!

Aku-Aku:
[to Crash] Punch him in the throat!

Dr. N. Gin:
Not my throat! I need that for swallowing!

Uka-Uka:
Finally. Ugh, if I had nipples, they'd kill right now.

Aku-Aku:
My brother... what did they do to you?

Uka-Uka:
That traitorous dog, Cortex stole my power! All my bad mojo has been drained and put into NVs that he sent all over the world.

Aku-Aku:
All over the world?

Uka-Uka:
That little weasel of a scientist actually had a good idea for a change. However, I didn't realize it involved...

Aku-Aku:
Milking you.

Uka-Uka:
YES! Milking me! HA HA, everbody enjoys a laugh at the evil mask!... I will destroy Cortex for this, and you two 'short bus students' will be the means of my vengence!

Aku-Aku:
Why should we help you? You're a jerk! Remember mom's birthday? You sent her socks! Honestly, who sends socks to a magic mask with no feet?

Uka-Uka:
You'll help me because if you restore my power, I will give you the means to reach Cortex's lair, and destroy his NVs forever!

Crash Bandicoot:
[Cheers]

Aku-Aku:
Fine! We'll restore your powers. Tell us what we have to do.

Uka-Uka:
The voodoo bones of my mask have been stolen and given to the worst, most despicable mutants on the island. Get them back! Be my vengence! I will use my power to let you move around quickly. You dummies probably walked everywhere. And please... would you clean this cake off my face?

Crash Bandicoot:
[wipes the cake off] Wahoo! Ha ha ha!

Aku-Aku:
Well, I didn't think we'd meet again.

Dr. Nitrus Brio:
Well you were wrong, and I was right! As right as... Betamax! Why won't the world understand? We've got limitless bad mojo to power the NVs!

Aku-Aku:
Bad mojo? How are you getting that?

Dr. Nitrus Brio:
[covers mouth]

Aku-Aku:
Start talking, mister! Crash likes Crunch, and look what he's doing to him!

[Crunch is bound to various TNT barrels, as Crash sets it off]

Dr. Nitrus Brio:
Cortex and I are in charge now, little fool! Your island is trapped by a device that I...

Aku-Aku:
That you invented, yeah, yeah, yeah... Come on Crash. Looks like my brother's involved in this mess. You go on home, Crunch.

Crunch Bandicoot:
Yeah... think I'm leaking brain juice. Gonna lay down awhile. Sleepy.

Aku-Aku:
[to N. Brio] And you! You clear out! You're not welcome! Come on, Crash! Let's go find my brother.

Dr. Nitrus Brio:
This isn't the end! I invented endings!... Why don't people take me seriously?

Crunch Bandicoot:
Crash! Stay away, little buddy! I can't control myself!

Aku-Aku:
Just take the helmet off, already!

Crunch Bandicoot:
You don't understand! Show... awesome! Monkeys!

Dr. Nitrus Brio:
Ha ha ha ha! Yes! Fight your 'little buddy'. Teach him who invented who! Strike him with your large man-hand!

Crunch Bandicoot:
I obey! Eat... enough... FIBER!

Crash Bandicoot:
Oh... heh heh. Howjeba?... Heh.

Nina Cortex:
Crash? What are you doing here? Leave me alone! I hate you! You ruined my life! [Slaps Crash]

Aku-Aku:
Sooo... How's it going?

Nina Cortex:
How's it going?... How's it going? I'm stuck in evil public school now! Oh, I used to be the queen of Madam Amberley's private school... now I'm stuck with the dregs of society. All because of you!

Coco Bandicoot:
If I get this Doominator eye working, we'll have the best entertainment system of all time! It will play games, watch movies, and dispense butter! It will be the mother of all TiVos!

Crash Bandicoot:
Wahoo!

Crunch Bandicoot:
That does sound good!... Butter. [noticed a fire extinguisher in his hand]... And where'd I get this? Short term memory loss. Confused! And where'd I get this?

Coco Bandicoot:
[trying to hotwire the wrecked Doominator] Oh, stupid thing! Work!

Crunch Bandicoot:
Wow, we should clean this place up, childrens! It's been like a metric year!

Coco Bandicoot:
Who's gonna make us? You?... I don't think so.

Crash Bandicoot:
[laughs]

Crunch Bandicoot:
Okay, guess I'll just say some catchphrases. Chick Lemonade! Vitamin C!

Aku-Aku:
N. Gin... What are you even doing here?

Dr. N. Gin:
When Dr. Cortex escaped, he left me here. BUT I HAVE BRAINS... AND DESIRES! I will not be ignored! [points to Crash] I have been watching you, and your 'delicious' sister!

Aku-Aku:
...Delicious?

Dr. N. Gin:
PRECIOUS! I meant precious! I'm gonna eat her. WATCH! Watch bandicoots! And collect information!

Dr. Nitrus Brio:
Greetings little peons which I invented, you see before a glorious history of evil devices that 'I', ME... Invented. Over time, the disgusting heroes of this world, which 'I' invented! ME! Not Cortex! Read your bible, I wrote it!... Heroes like lazy bandicoots just leave these wonderful toys to rot where they fall... But Dr. Cortex, who said he invented many things, LIAR!... Says "Hurry! Build me a space head and many NV devices!" So, I have invented... Recycling! Remember the N. Brio patinant phrase, "reduce, reuse, REVENGE!"... I created slinkies! Stop playing with them, because they're mine! You see before you an ocean of wrecked dreams... my dreams. From this ocean Dr. Cortex has asked me to harpoon the white whale of evil. Recycling shall destroy the world. And I, as it's inventor, shall get the credit! Look! Lite-brite!... I didn't invent this, Buck Mier did! It's not evil, why is it in the pile?

Uka-Uka:
Cortex! What is the meaning of this? Release me immediatley!

Dr. Neo Cortex:
I used to run this operation!... And it's time I did again.

Dr. Nitrus Brio:
Yes! Go for it, Dr. Cortex! Eye of the tiger! Heryuken! Paper covers rock... but paper can't stop rocks. IT MAKES NO SENSE! [drinks potion]

Uka-Uka:
I will destroy you for this, Cortex! Your life is forfeit!

Dr. Neo Cortex:
Oh my... Talk about a 2-dimensional bad guy!

Dr. Nitrus Brio:
Yes!... I wrote that line earlier!

Dr. Neo Cortex:
Ugh, there was a piece of lettuce in the urinal! Who eats a sandwich while going to the bathroom? Seriously!... Anyhoo, Minions! I stand before you reborn! Renewed! Re-committed to evil! And... I've made up with an old colleague. Join me in welcoming... Nitrus Brio!

Dr. Nitrus Brio:
Yes, it is I, N. Brio!... My name sounds like a fetus. [shrugs] No doubt you all remember me as the inventor of the Evolvo-Ray!

Uka-Uka:
That was him? I thought Cortex did that.

Dr. Nitrus Brio:
Of course it was me! I invented the Evolvo-Ray and the mutigenetic techniques, still used by that treacherous Cortex today! I was in the first GAME! [drinks potion] Mmm... lovely mutigen! Soo good! And I'm very happy to be back!

Uka-Uka:
Yes, it's been forever since we've done some old-school evil!