Life Unexpected

Lux:
who are The Spin Doctors?

Cate Cassidy:
they provided the soundtrack for your uh... conception. Sorry for putting that image in your head.

[first lines]

Radio Announcer:
Good morning, Portland. Welcome to a morning of Fall music madness on K-100. Ryan and Kelly will be back on Monday, but today we're giving away tickets to the K-100 Sugar Magnolia Music Festival, happening this weekend, emceed by your favorite host, Ryan Thomas, who's hard at work getting ready for the big event.

Emma Bradshaw:
Okay, say you could conjure up your ideal woman from scratch, who would she be?

Nate Bazile:
Hmmm.

Emma Bradshaw:
But you know what? Let me guess. Pint-sized? Big eyes? Looks like that chick from "Roswell"?

[last lines]

Nate Bazile:
To moving on.

Cate Cassidy:
To moving on.

Lux:
If you could rifle through the memory banks of teenage girls you've impregnated, that would be great.

Lux:
You and someone had a kid. You gave up that kid. I am that kid.

Nate Bazile:
Okay. Umm... Cate Cassidy, that's your mom. Cate with a C. Okay? Are you good? Are we good? Are you cool?

Lux:
Wait, Cate Cassidy? That's my mom?

Nate Bazile:
Yes.

Math Rogers:
What, from high school?

Nate Bazile:
Yes.

Jamie:
Cate Cassidy?

Lux:
Cate Cassidy, the one on the radio from K100?

Math Rogers:
Class of '94 Cate Cassidy?

Nate Bazile:
Yeah.

Math Rogers:
Cate Cassidy was pregnant in high school?

Nate Bazile:
Yes.

Lux:
Wait, your names are Nate and Cate?

Nate Bazile:
Yeah.

Math Rogers:
Cate Cassidy never would have slept with you. She was number one in the class, she had a perfect 4.0!

Jamie:
You seem to know a lot about this girl.

Math Rogers:
She despised you! You're gross! She hated you! Did you roofie her?

Nate Bazile:
No, I didn't roofie her! Who roofies people?

Math Rogers:
She wasn't even your type! If she was anyone's type...

Nate Bazile:
Aww. Who, Math? Was she your type? Because you were three hundred pounds in high school. Your type was anyone who you didn't accidentally eat for lunch!

Lux:
Your son seriously puts the "eew" in Stuey.

Mrs. Cassidy:
You know what a sense of relief I have?

Cate Cassidy:
Mom. I know... I know. Lux is a great kid.

Mrs. Cassidy:
Honey. No, honey, not just that. All these years, I thought you lost your virginity to that giant wasp. But the quarterback? You know he's single, right?

Cate Cassidy:
Okay. Mom. Mom. Look, you are here to meet your granddaughter. So can you please, please, please keep the trolling to a minimum.

[Zips her mom's jacket up]

Abby Cassidy:
Yeah. Yeah. That would be really messy, if Baze was my high school crush,

[pointing at Cate]

Abby Cassidy:
your baby daddy, and mom's fifth husband.

Nate Bazile:
[Outside the courthouse, after the judge has let Jack off with a warning from assaulting Trey after Lux testified that Trey forced himself on her] I thought more violence wasn't the answer.

Jack Bazile:
[Holding an ice bag on his knuckles] Sometimes it's the only answer.

Casey:
Keep walking bong girl.

Brynn:
Foster freak.

Bug:
The b*tch posse still riding you?

Lux Cassidy:
Yeah. Turns out lying about my entire life, then getting busted at school, not the best way to make friends.