Men in Black: The Series

Kay:
Arquillians are peaceful by nature, Slick. They may have powerful technology, but they would never use it for violence. Some of history's most prominent peaceful figures were Arquillians: Martin Luther King, Jr., John Lennon...

Jay:
Whoah! John Lennon was an alien?!

Kay:
Yep

Jay:
So, what was Ringo?

Kay:
A drummer.

K:
Real good there Sparky

J:
Sparky? What happened to Slick?

K:
You're going to have to work your way back up to Slick.

Alpha:
I thought you'd come. Where's the rookie?

Kay:
This is between you and me, Alpha.

Alpha:
So it is, K... so it is.

Alpha:
The cosmic intergrator opened my mind - my body had to follow! If only you knew what was in here...

Kay:
I used to think I did... until you left me for dead.

Alpha:
Well, stuff happens. But I'm offering you immortality, K. I'll get you another heart. It won't hurt a bit.

Kay:
You wouldn't go all the way to Sentillia for that heart, would you?

Alpha:
Why should I? Plenty of Sentillians right here on Earth.

Kay:
I had the twins do a little research. Did you know that Sentillians can breath a gas that would make a human's lungs dissolve? Bet you did. So, I got to wondering... st how inhuman are you? [takes out a can of Sentillian atmosphere gas]

Alpha:
You wouldn't! It'll destroy us both!

Kay:
I'm willing to live with that. The Sentillian of coarse, walks. Come on, Alpha. Let's you and me take the ULTIMATE thrill ride. [J and L burst in the room]

Alpha:
They riding, too? [pause]

Alpha:
I didn't think so.

Jay:
[connected to alien tech] Is this thing safe?

Elle:
It's intended for the originator of the memories. It'll either work, or your head will explode.

Elle:
You asked.

[last lines]

Jay:
[to Z] I got the K part, I got the Alpha part... what was your part in all this?

Zed:
Never, ever ask me about my past. Oh, by the way, kid... thanks for sticking with K. It means a lot to him.

Jay:
Course I'm sticking with K! You know he'd never admit it, but he needs me.

Alpha:
Join me, K! Be like me!

Kay:
A circus freak?

Jay:
You're ignoring Zed's orders? Who's the hot dog here? [sees the LTD is gone]

Jay:
Our wheels! We've been carjacked!

Kay:
Sorry, kid. I can't take you on this one.

Jay:
What? Why?

Kay:
I've already left. Besides, the underwear wrench can't tighten the laughing lumbago... [melts, and is revealed to be a Quick-Clone]

Alpha:
Your attention, please. Mr. Saben has left the building. I now return you to your regularly scheduled program. And Zed, ease off the bunt cake.

Zed:
A Quick-Clone!... K, where are you?

Zed:
All Sentillians on Earth are accounted for... except one.

Alpha:
Oh, bad boy! [stings the heart and drops it]

Jay:
You... killed it!

Kay:
That was completely unnecessary, Alpha!

Jay:
The elves are aliens? So, what's Santa...?

Kay:
Let's just say there are things higher than MiB, slick.

Jay:
Yo, K. Gonna need a little more back-up than we thought... [Later: Z appears as a ringmaster, the Worms are clowns and L and X are trapeze artists]

Jay:
That's for me, and all the other kids you ever freaked out!

[last lines]

Kay:
Never cared for you much as a kid either, Luigi...

Alpha:
You must have nine lives, K. Let's see if you have any left.

[Alpha-Bioship fires repeatedly on the ice below]

Jay:
Good thing the guy's a lousy shot!

Kay:
He's not aiming at us. Those plasma orbs will melt the ice cap.

Jay:
And?

Kay:
Flood half the planet.

Alpha:
Always so negative, K. Don't you think Nebraska deserves a beachfront?

Alpha:
Oh, *K*!

Jay:
[gasps]

Alpha:
I have a bone to pick with you.

[at a baseball stadium]

Kay:
This is my favourite game...

Jay:
Baseball?

Kay:
No. Spot the Alien.

Jay:
So, tell me about yourself...

Kay:
What's to tell? I'm your partner. We police aliens on Earth. End of story.

Jay:
[suited up] You know what the difference is between you and me?

Kay:
You make this look good?

Jay:
How'd you know I was gonna say that?

[last lines]

Jay:
All right! Agent J is back in black!

[referring to Agent K's connection to the Alcidian that bit him]

Jay:
So, you're sayin' you and he are like The Corsican Brothers?

Kay:
Except we're not brothers, or Spanish. Otherwise, you're exactly right.

[six cops have the Alcidian Forbis at gunpoint on a rooftop in Times Square]

Elle:
If they shoot Forbis...

Jay:
...they shoot K!

[Agent K gets between the NYPD and Forbis]

Jay:
Stop! Don't fire!

NYPD cop:
[via megaphone] Get out of there! This is a restricted... Detective Edwards?

Jay:
[haltingly] I've, uh, been workin'... deep cover.

[stunned silence]

Jay:
Deep, deep, *deep* cover. This is my collar, and I need him alive.

NYPD cop:
[again through megaphone to his men] Hold your fire.

[they lower their guns and Forbis makes a break for the next roof]

[first lines]

Jeebs:
[regarding an Atomoman comic book] You believe humans read this junk?

Frank the Pug:
Sugarcoats the plight of aliens living on Earth, let me tell ya.

Jeebs:
[scoffs] Funny books: they're a tissue of lies!

Frank the Pug:
Yeah, you don't see *me* wearing a cape like that guy from planet, uh... whatchacall?

Jeebs:
Oh, yeah yeah, I know the one you mean. Uh, leaps tall, uh, uh, something or another, and, uh, he's faster than somethin'.

Frank the Pug:
That's him! Rockets to Earth, and what's he get? Lovin' parents, good looks, a career in journalism, and *babes*.

Jeebs:
And he does it all in a leotard!

Frank the Pug:
Ooh, muy macho!

Jeebs:
Can you believe we're talkin' like he's real?

Frank the Pug:
...He's not?