Monsters vs. Aliens

Gallaxhar:
The Omega Quadrant? Lame!

Gallaxhar:
Extract the Quantonium with extreeeeeeeeme prejudice!

Gallaxhar:
[looking at Susan on a monitor] Oh, you think because you're all big and strong, and you can destroy my robot probe, that you're gonna send me running and hiding?! My days of running and hiding are over. Computer, set a course to Earth! I will retrieve the Quantonium myself... even if I need to rip it out of her body, one cell at a time!

Gallaxhar:
[Susan tries to escape his forcefield] Don't bother, that forcefield is impenetrabl-- [Susan smashes her fist through, nearly hitting Gallaxhar] WHAT THE FLAGNOG?!

Gallaxhar:
[telling his life-story; is constantly interrupted by his cloning machine pressing him down] Many zentons ago, when I was but a squidling, I found out that my parents were... No child should ever have to endure that! So I went on the road, with a giant... and soon thereafter was married! Things were going well, until she wanted... and I was all "NO WAY!", and she was all "YES WAY!", and I was like... but I've told you too much already!

Gallaxhar:
Let the birth of my new planet - called, err... "Gallaxhar's... Planet" - begin!

Gallaxhar:
Humans of Earth! I have come in peace. You need not fear me. I mean you no harm. However, it may be important to know that most of you will not survive the next 24 hours. And those of you who do survive will be enslaved and experimented on. You should in no way take any of this personally - it's just business! So, just to recap: I come in peace, I mean you no harm, and you all will die. Gallaxhar out.

Gallaxhar:
Attention, all aliens! DESTROY ALL MONSTERS!

Gallaxhar:
Oh, spaceballs.

Gallaxhar:
Are you crazy?! You could have killed me!

Gallaxhar:
Like I told you before, you should have defeated me when you had the quantonium. Have fun exploding!

Susan Murphy / Ginormica:
[as she grows, the wedding guests flee in terror] No, don't go! Please have some champagne while we're figuring this out!

Susan Murphy / Ginormica:
[seeing Gallaxhar's gigantic robot probe] I can't fight that thing! I never... I can't even... [gasping] I'm hyperventilating! Does anybody have a giant paper bag?!

Susan Murphy / Ginormica:
Three weeks ago, if you had asked me to fight an alien robot, I would have said "No can do!" But I did it! Me! I'm still buzzing! Did you see how strong I was? There's probably not a jar in this world I can't open!

Susan Murphy / Ginormica:
[to her mother, after B.O.B. hugs her and nearly suffocates her in his gelatinous body] Sorry, Mom. He's a hugger.

Susan Murphy / Ginormica:
Doctor, I'd prefer that you didn't do your mad scientist laugh while I'm hooked up to this machine.

Susan Murphy / Ginormica:
Fresno!...Fresno...in what universe is Fresno better than Paris, Derek?

Dr. Cockroach, Ph.D:
[to Susan] Whatever mad scientist made you... he really went all-out.

Dr. Cockroach, Ph.D:
They called me crazy! But I'll show them! I'll show them all! [does a classic "mad scientist" laugh]

Dr. Cockroach, Ph.D:
I'm not a quack, I'm a mad scientist! There's a difference.

Dr. Cockroach, Ph.D:
YOU CAN'T CRUSH A COCKROACH! [laughs maniacally]

Dr. Cockroach, Ph.D:
We will think that the new Susan is the cat's "me-WOW"! [chuckles for a brief moment; no reaction from anyone else] I'm sorry.

Dr. Cockroach, Ph.D:
Anyone care for an atomic gin fizz? It's got quite a... [the gin explodes] kick...

Dr. Cockroach, Ph.D:
[After the ruined party] At least the garbage was free.

Dr. Cockroach, Ph.D:
[to Susan after they rescue her] My dear, no matter what your size you'll always be... [notices the Gallaxhar clones coming and pulls Susan down, shaking her] nothing but a filthy carbon based lifeform!

Dr. Cockroach, Ph.D:
[dancing off against Gallaxhar's computer] One thing you don't know about me, my dear! My Ph.D is in... DANCE!

Dr. Cockroach, Ph.D:
By Hawking's chair!

The Missing Link:
I know what you're thinking: first day in prison, you want to take on the toughest guy in the yard? Well, I'd like to see you try.

The Missing Link:
[lifting weights] 6...7...8... [notices Susan] Uh, 999, 1,000! Phew! I can't believe I did ten sets!

The Missing Link:
[walking outside for the first time in decades] It's a little hotter than I remember. Has the Earth gotten warmer? That'd be great to know - it would be a very convenient truth.

The Missing Link:
Finally some action! I'm gonna turn this over-sized tin can into a... really dented over-sized tin can...

The Missing Link:
Re-lax. Old Link's got this all under control.

The Missing Link:
[swims through the sewers, as he gets out he bangs his head on the lid] OW!! [he slowly removes the lid and climbs out] Yep, that hurt... [is suddenly hit by Dr. Cockroach's rocket-powered trolley car]

The Missing Link:
Papa's a little outta shape...

The Missing Link:
[at Susan's party, Link turns on some music and tries to mingle] How's it going? ...Ca' Pasa, Girlfriend? ...Way to cut up a rug, Insecto'! [Insectosaurus is slowly bouncing around]

The Missing Link:
Who wants to go for a swim with the Link?

The Missing Link:
[emerges from a swimming pool, walking in a zombie-like manner and scaring people] AAAAAARRGH! CHLORINE! CHLORINE! CHLORINE IN MY EYES!

The Missing Link:
Oh, who are we kidding? We could save every city on the planet, and they'd still treat us like they've always treated us... like monsters.

B.O.B:
[On brains and his lack of one] Turns out; you don't need one! Totally overrated!

B.O.B:
[to Gallaxhar's robot probe; making signs to match his words] Hello! Hi! Howya doing? Welcome! We are here to destroy you!

B.O.B:
What happened to the "there isn't a jar in the world I can't open" stuff? Wait! Did you find a jar that you couldn't open? What was in it? Were there pickles in it? Where's the giant jar of pickles?

B.O.B:
[to a plate of Jello] Hi, I'm Benzoate Ostylezene Bicarbonate, or you can call me B.O.B, whichever's easier. [the Jello wobbles slightly] Did I come on too strong? I'm sorry, I'm a little rusty, I've been in prison my whole life-- Why did I mention prison?! [he slams his fist on the table, making the Jello shake] Oh, I didn't mean to scare you! I'm just gonna go... oh, I feel so stupid!

B.O.B:
[to Susan] I don't think your parents like me. And I think that Jello gave me a fake phone number.

B.O.B:
[as the monsters' rather pathetic disguises actually fool Gallaxhar's clones] These disguises are "da bomb"!

B.O.B:
[Confronting Derek, as if he were dating him rather than Susan] Derek, you are a selfish jerk, and guess what? I've met someone else! She's limegreen, she has 14 little chunks of pineapple inside her, and she is everything I deserve in life! I'm happy now, Derek! Without you! It's over! [Holds up the lime green jello he mentions and leaves triumphantly]

B.O.B:
[To Susan, at the end of the movie] Wait, wait, wait, wa-wa-WAIT! You were dating Derek too?! THAT TWO-TIMING JERK!

General Warren R. Monger:
[To Susan, when she asks if her parents even know where she is] No, and they never will! Don't you get it? This place is an X-File, wrapped in a cover-up and deep-fried in paranoid conspiracy!

General Warren R. Monger:
Don't think of this as prison. Think of it as a hotel that you can never leave, because it's locked from the outside!

General Warren R. Monger:
I'm not gonna kid you, Mr. President. These are dark times. The odds are against us. We need a Hail Mary pass! We need raw power! We need... [close up on his mouth] MONSTERS.

General Warren R. Monger:
[after a cabinet member protests against his plan] You got a better idea, nerd? [gives him a wedgie]

General Warren R. Monger:
[seeing Gallaxhar's robot] Oo-ee! Now that's a robot! Try not to damage it too much, monsters. I might take it back to the farm!

General Warren R. Monger:
First stop, Modesto! Ginormica, I called your family to tell them you were coming home. I also called the Modesto PD, told 'em not to shoot at ya!

General Warren R. Monger:
If I don't return for you, I'm either dead or late.

General Warren R. Monger:
[After parachuting to the ground, his copilot is still clinging to him out of fear] You can let go of me now, Private.

General Warren R. Monger:
[Addressing the monsters] I've been your handler for over fifty years, but it seems that's no longer the case. For what it's worth- [Salutes the monsters]

President Hathaway:
I must face it alone.

President Hathaway:
Commander! Do something violent!

President Hathaway:
That's how you wanna play. Eat lead, alien robot! [fires three shots; the robot is heard munching on them] Evidently, they eat lead. Huh. [to a crowd] I am brave! I am a brave President!

President Hathaway:
Listen up! I'm not going to go down as the President who was in office when the world came to an end, so somebody think of something, and think of it fast! [sips coffee] That is a good cup of joe.

President Hathaway:
[after Monger gives a cabinet member a wedgie] Okay! [hides behind his chair] Stay where you are. General, I propose we go forward with your "monsters vs. aliens" idea... thingy.

President Hathaway:
Okay, someone set the terror level to Code Brown, because I need to change my pants!

Nerd 2:
Holy Cheezits! What do we do? They never told us what to do! I ONLY TOOK THIS JOB BECAUSE YOU NEVER HAD TO DO ANYTHING!

Nerd 2:
[noticing the quantonium-ridden meteorite] "Supernova", this is "RedDwarf"! We actually have one! Code Nimoy! I repeat: CODE NIMOY!

Wendy Murphy:
[as Bob spits her out] I taste ham.

Wendy Murphy:
Oh, honey, ever since you were a little baby, I knew... you would save the world from an alien invasion.

Wedding Guest:
[after Susan grows to her massive height] HERE COMES THE BRIDE!!!

Derek Deitl:
[rejecting Susan] Don't crush me for saying this, but I'm not looking to get married and spend the rest of my life in someone else's shadow. And you're casting a pretty big shadow.

TV Reporter:
Once again, a UFO has landed in America - the only country UFOs ever seem to land in!

Mama Dietl:
One thumb's shorter than the other. It runs in the family.

Susan:
Derek doesn't have that--

Mama Dietl:
Ah, it skips a generation. But your kids are gonna have it! [laughs maniacally]

Dr. Cockroach:
[about B.O.B.] Forgive him, but as you can see, he has no brain.

B.O.B.:
Turns out, you don't need one! Totally overrated! As a matter of fact, I don't even have to... [starts gasping for air] I forgot how to breathe! Help me, Dr. Cockroach!

Dr. Cockroach:
[exasperated] Suck in, B.O.B.

B.O.B.:
[breathes normally] Thanks, Doc. You're a lifesaver.

Missing Link:
She's speechless!

B.O.B.:
"She"?!

Dr. Cockroach:
Yes, B.O.B., we are in the presence of a rare female monster.

B.O.B.:
No way, it's a boy! Look at his boobies!

[Awkward silence]

Missing Link:
We need to have a talk.

Dr. Cockroach:
Gentlemen, I'm afraid we're not making a very good first impression.

Missing Link:
Well, at least I'm talking! First new monster in years, and we couldn't get, like, a wolfman or a mummy? You know, someone I can play cards with.

Dr. Cockroach:
Might we ask for your name, madam?

Susan:
Susan.

B.O.B.:
No, no, no, we mean your monster name. What do people scream when they see you coming? You know, like "Look out! Here comes..."?

[Silence]

Susan:
Susan.

Dr. Cockroach:
Really?

B.O.B.:
[spookily] "Suuuusaaan!" Ooh, I just scared myself! That is scary!

Susan:
[meeting General Monger] Oh, thank goodness! A real person! [notices his jetpack] You are a real person, right? You're not one of those half-person, half-machine whatever you call those things?

General W.R. Monger:
A cyborg?

Susan:
[panicked] Oh, no! YOU'RE A CYBORG!

General W.R. Monger:
Ma'am, I can assure you I am not a cyborg. The name is General Warren R. Monger. I'm in charge of this facility.

[Dr. Cockroach is building an atomic bomb from Legos]

Dr. Cockroach:
Oh, Susan. You wouldn't happen to have some uranium on you? I just need a smidge.

General W.R. Monger:
[on walkie-talkie] Rescind Dr. Cockroach's toybox privileges. Immediately.

[Dr. Cockroach has been trying to restore Susan to normal]

Missing Link:
You've been letting this quack experiment on you for the last month.

Dr. Cockroach:
I'm not a quack, I'm a mad scientist! There is a difference.

Susan:
Guys, what choice do I have? If he can make me normal, or even 6 foot 8, I can get out of here, go back to the life I'm supposed to have. I mean, I should be with Derek in...

Missing Link:
Let me guess, Fresno?

Susan:
Well, Fresno is just a stepping stone. Next stop: Nilwaukee, then New York and then finally someday...

Missing Link:
Yeah, we know: Paris.

Susan:
Throw the switch, doctor, but... but don't do the laugh.

Dr. Cockroach:
Now you're going to feel a slight pinch in the brain. [laugh briefly] Sorry. [turns on the machine, shocking the hooked up Susan a lot that he accidentally renders her temporarily unconscious] Susan! Yoo-hoo!

Susan:
Am I small again?

'Dr. Cockroach:
I'm afraid not, my dear. [the monsters jump off of Susan, whose hair is standing on one end] In fact, you may actually have grown a couple of feet.

Cuthbert:
Don't rush me, Katie; I'm just not ready.

Katie:
Oh, come on, Cuthbert, it's just like dancing - I'll lead.

[President Hathaway goes to push a huge red button; all the advisors shout for him not to]

Advisor Cole:
That button launches all of our nuclear missiles!

President Hathaway:
Well, then which button gets me a latte?!

Advisor Wedgie:
Err, that would be the other one, sir.

[The camera zips back to show an identical button next to the first one; the President pushes it and serves himself a cup of coffee]

President Hathaway:
What idiot designed this thing?

Advisor Wedgie:
You did, sir.

President Hathaway:
Fair enough. Wilson, fire somebody!

Wilson:
[offscreen] Yes, sir, Mr. President.

[General Monger explains his private operation to the government, showing images and video clips along the way]

General W.R. Monger:
Over the last fifty years, I have captured monsters on the rampage and locked them up in a secret prison facility. So secret, that the mere mention of its name is a federal offense!

Advisor:
Is he referring to Area 50 - [He is shot in the neck with a tranquilizer dart and falls over]

General W.R. Monger:
Mr. President, say hello to Insectosaurus! [Shows a tape of Insectosaurus going on a rampage in Tokyo. A woman screams] Miss Ronson, please. Nuclear radiation turned him from a small grub into a 350-foot tall monster that attacked Tokyo. Here we have the Missing Link... [Miss Ronson screams] ...a 20,000 year old frozen fish-man who was thawed out by scientists. [shows a clip of the Missing Link's escape] He escaped and went on a rampage at his old watering hole. This handsome fellow is Dr. Cockroach, Ph.D, the most brilliant man in the world. He invented a scientific machine that would give humans the cockroach's ability to survive. [shows a black-and-white clip of Dr. Cockroach undergoing the experiment, giving himself his cockroach head] Unfortunately, there was a side-effect. [Miss Ronson screams] Now, we call this thing B.O.B.... [Miss Ronson screams] WILL SOMEONE GET HER OUT OF HERE?! [Two men throw Miss Ronson out of the room offscreen] Thank you. A genetically-altered tomato was combined with a chemically altered ranch-flavored dessert topping at a snack food plant. The resulting goop gained consciousness, and became an indestructible gelatinous mass. And our latest edition, Ginormica.

[Another scream the same as Ronson's is heard, and it turns out to be the President's]

President Hathaway:
[Clears his throat] General, continue.

General W.R. Monger:
Her entire body radiates with pure energy, giving her enormous strength and size.

[After being promised their freedom if they defeat Gallaxhar's robot]

Susan:
Soon I'll be back in Derek's arms... or he'll be in mine.

Missing Link:
I can't wait for spring break back at Cocoa Beach, just freaking everybody out.

B.O.B.:
And I'll go back to my lab and finally finish my experiments.

Dr. Cockroach:
No, that's me, B.O.B..

B.O.B.:
Then I'll be a really giant lady.

Dr. Cockroach:
That's Susan, B.O.B..

B.O.B.:
Fine. Then I'll go back to Modesto and be with Derek.

Missing Link:
That's still Susan.

B.O.B.:
I think I at least deserve a chance to be with Derek!

[Susan fights Gallaxhar's robot]

B.O.B.:
You're doing great!

Susan:
[extremely annoyed] I'M DOING EVERYTHING!!!

Derek:
You did just destroy the Golden Gate Bridge.

Susan:
But that was the only way I could defeat the alien robot! Did you ever think I could do that?!

Derek:
No, I didn't. I can honestly say that it never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever occurred to me.

Missing Link:
So, how was Derek?

Susan Murphy:
[after a pause] Derek's a selfish jerk.

B.O.B.:
No!

Susan Murphy:
Yes. All that talk about us - "I'm so proud of us", "Us just got a job in Fresno" - There was no us, it was just Derek. Why did I have to get hit by a meteor to see that? I was such an idiot! [kicks roof of gas station, sending B.O.B. flying] Why did I think life with Derek would be so great anyway?! I mean, look at all the stuff I've done without him. Fighting an alien robot? That was me, not him! And that was amazing! Meeting you guys... [gets down on her knees so she can be face-to-face with the other monsters] amazing. [turns to Dr. Cockroach] Dr. Cockroach! You can crawl up walls and build a super-computer out of a pizza box, two cans of hairspray, and-!

Dr. Cockroach:
And a paper clip!

Susan:
Amazing! [turns to Missing Link] And you! You hardly need an introduction; you're the Missing Link! You personally carried 250 co-eds off Cocoa Beach and still had the strength to fight off the National Guard!

Missing Link:
[proudly] And the Coast Guard! And also the lifeguard.

Susan:
Amazing! [B.O.B. lands next to the other monsters.] B.O.B.! [turns him around so he's facing her] Who else could fall from unimaginable heights and end up without a single scratch?

B.O.B.:
[points to Missing Link] Link?

Susan:
[correcting him] You.

B.O.B.:
Amazing!

[Insectosaurus roars]

Missing Link:
Good point, Insecto'! Susan, don't shortchange yourself.

Susan:
Oh, I'm not gonna shortchange myself. [stands at full height again] Ever again.

Gallaxhar:
You must be terrified. Waking up in a strange place, wearing strange clothes, being held captive by a strange being on a strange hovering device? Strange, isn't it?

Susan:
Hardly. This isn't the first time.

Gallaxhar:
[Pauses, deflated] Wow. You really get around. TO THE EXTRACTION CHAMBER!

[The machine imprisoning Susan begins to follow Gallaxhar through the ship]

Susan:
Look, what is it that you want with me?

Gallaxhar:
You have stolen what is rightfully mine!

Susan:
I didn't steal anything from you!

Gallaxhar:
Your enormous, grotesque body contains quantonium, the most powerful substance in the universe. Did you really think you could keep it from me?

Susan:
...That's what this is all about?! You destroyed San Francisco, you terrified millions of people, you killed my friend, just to get to me?!

Gallaxhar:
"Wha-ka-ka-ka-ka!" Silence! Your voice is grating on my earknubs!

Gallaxhar:
[after extracting the quantonium from Susan, shrinking her back to human-size] Now I can finally rebuild my civilization on another planet! Any ideas on where I could set up shop? Your planet, perhaps?

Susan:
You keep your slimy tentacles off my planet--! [tries to attack him, but he holds her back at tentacle-length]

Gallaxhar:
Or what? If you wanted to stop me, you should have done it when you possessed the quantonium. Now you're nothing.

Susan:
There are innocent people down there who haven't done anything!

Gallaxhar:
There were innocent people on my home planet, before it was destroyed!

Susan:
Look, I'm sorry your planet was destroyed-

Gallaxhar:
Oh, don't be! I'm the one who destroyed it. Confused? After I reveal my tale to you, everything will become crystal clear. Computer! Initialize cloning machine!

Gallaxhar's Computer:
Yes, Gallaxhar.

[Gallaxhar gets into the cloning machine with a mold that matches his body]

Gallaxhar:
Many zentons ago, when I was but a squidling, I found out that my parents were... [The machine closes down, scans his body and opens up again] No child should ever have to endure that! So I went on the road with a giant... [The machine closes down again and scans his body and opens up once again] ...And then thereafter was married! Things were going well. Until she wanted... [The machine closes down yet another time and reopens up] So then, I was all, "No way!" And then she was all, "Yes way!" And then I was all... [The machine closes down once again and reopens up] But I told you too much already! [He steps out of the machine] Let the birth of my new planet called... Uh... Gallaxhar's Planet BEGIN!

[Susan looks around in fear as one by one, pods produce dozens of Gallaxhar clones, dressing them up in lab coats, and equipping them with guns]

Dr. Cockroach:
[to Susan after they rescue her] My dear, no matter what your size you'll always be... [notices the Gallaxhar clones coming and pulls Susan down, shaking her] nothing but a filthy carbon-based lifeform!

Gallaxhar Clones:
Hail Gallaxar.

Dr. Cockroach:
Hail Gallaxar.

[Gallaxhar addresses his army of clones]

Gallaxhar:
Clone!

All Gallaxhar clones:
Hail Gallaxar!

Gallaxhar:
No, no, no, not all of you, you there! [The clones look confused] Erm, how do I do this? Three back! [The clones move around confused] No, no, no, no, that guy... Next to you... The one I'm pointing at! YOU! THE ONE! "Wha-ka-ka-ka-ka!" You! Clone, yes! Good! [One steps forward] Take the prisoner to the incinerator! She's useless to us now.

Gallaxhar Clone:
Hail Gallaxar!

Gallaxhar:
Hail me...

[Gallaxhar is walking along in his ship, passing groups of clones]

Clone Group:
Hail Gallaxhar!

Gallaxhar:
Hail me.

Second Clone Group:
Hail Gallaxhar!

Gallaxhar:
[slightly bored] Hail me...

Susan:
[aims weapon to Gallaxhar] Now open the doors!

Gallaxhar:
Even if I wanted to, I couldn't! That's what happens when you set a ship to self-destruct! Now we're all gonna die! And there's nothing you can do about it, Susan.

Susan:
I wouldn't be so sure. And the name... is Ginormica! [fires the weapon she is carrying into the statue, so that the quantonium-filled globe it holds falls on her]

[Thinking they are about to die (B.O.B., as usual, is blissfully unaware)]

Missing Link:
It's been an honor knowing you, Doc.

Dr. Cockroach:
The feeling's mutual, my friend.

B.O.B.:
I'll see you guys tomorrow! For lunch!

Missing Link:
That's right, B.O.B.

Dr. Cockroach:
And they'll be ice-cream, and cake, and balloons.

B.O.B.:
Cake and balloons for lunch?! It's gonna be the best day ever! I love you guys!

[Cutscene just after the first cluster of credits]

President Hathaway:
Ladies and Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce the newest member of the Chief members of staff, General W.R. Monger.

General W.R. Monger:
Thank you very much, Mr. President. What a way to spend my 90th birthday.

President Hathaway:
[singing] Alright, let's get it started in here, nerd!

Nerd Advisor:
Gentlemen, I have come up with a budget estimate for re-building San Francisco.

President Hathaway:
Zoinkers, this is going to be a boring one. Good time for a cup o' Joe. Warden, how do you take it?

General W.R. Monger:
Hit me with a double venti, organic chocolate brownie caramel frappichino, extra hot with one inch of foam... [zooms in to his lips] ... non-fat.

President Hathaway:
Got it, black it is. [Hits the nuke button; everyone panics]

General W.R. Monger:
My God, man! What have you done?!

President Hathaway:
Time to wave the white flag and head for the bunker, boys. Let's check the situation in five hundred years! [pops head into audience] Who wants to freeze my head?

Alien problem? Monster solution.

When aliens attack, monsters fight back

Ooze gonna save us?

When aliens attack, these guys got your back.

Saving the day the monster way.

[Dr. Cockroach is building an atomic bomb from Legos]

Dr. Cockroach:
Oh, Susan. You wouldn't happen to have some uranium on you? I just need a smidge.

General W.R. Monger:
[on walkie-talkie] Rescind Dr. Cockroach's toybox privileges. Immediately. [Susan's cell door opens] We’ve had the prison psychologist redecorate your cell. [a poster reads “Hang in there!] Try to keep you all calm-like.

Susan:
[tearfully] But I don’t want a poster. I want a real kitten. Hanging from a real tree. [turns to General W. R. Monger] I wanna go home...

General W.R. Monger :
Oh, come on, Little Debbie, please don’t cry. It makes my knees hurt. Don’t think of this as a prison! Think of it as a hotel you never leave because it’s locked from the outside! [Susan goes in her cell] Oh! And, uh, one other thing, the government has changed your name to GINORMICA.

[the robot steps toward them]

B.O.B.:
Will you look at the size of that-

Dr. Cockroach:
FOOT!

[Cockroach and Link dive out of the way and the robot's foot steps on B.O.B., then comes up, with B.O.B. stuck to the sole.]

B.O.B.:
I got him, you guys! I got-! [step] Don't worry, I won't let go! I'm wearing him down- [step] Please tell me he's slowing down!

[Ginormica fights Gallaxhar's robot, while preventing bystanders' cars from falling off the bridge.]

B.O.B.:
Wow! [two thumbs up] You're doing great!

Ginormica:
[extremely annoyed] I'm doing everything!

Derek:
Wow! You really are big.

Ginormica:
Yeah, but I'm still me. I'm still the girl you fell in love with.

Derek:
Except you destroyed the Golden Gate Bridge.

Ginormica:
But that was the only way I could defeat the alien robot! Did you ever think I could do that?!

Derek:
No, I didn't. I can honestly say that it never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever occurred to me.

Ginormica:
Look, I know this is all a little weird - okay, it's a lot weird - but I'm sure we can get through this. Together, we can find a way to get me back to normal.

Derek:
Susan, try to look at this from my perspective. I have an audience that depends on me for news, weather, sports and heart-warming fluff pieces. So you expect me to put all that on hold while you try to undo this thing that happened to you, that I had absolutely nothing to do with?

Ginormica:
Yes, that's exactly what I expect. What about the life we always wanted? Don't you still want that?

Derek:
Of course. I just, don't see... don't see how I can have that with you.

Ginormica:
[On the verge of tears] Derek, please. Don't do this.

Derek:
You have to face facts, Susan. And don't crush me for saying this, but I'm not looking to get married and spend the rest of my life on someone else's shadow. And you're casting a pretty big shadow. I'm sorry. It's over. Good luck, Susan.

Gallaxhar:
The Omega Quadrant?! Lame, lame, lame, lame, lame, lame, lame, lame, lame, lame, lame, LAME!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gallaxhar:
Extract the Quantonium with extreme prejudice. I want it all. Every last drop!

Gallaxhar:
Nothing can stand in my way now!

Gallaxhar:
Attention, all aliens, destroy all monsters!

Gallaxhar:
Uh, Spaceballs! Divert the Quantonium to the bridge, and prepare my escape capsule!

Gallaxhar:
[last lines] Come on!! Come on!!!!

Susan Murphy / Ginormica:
This is Susan Murphy, saying, "Goodbye, Derek!"

Dr. Cockroach, Ph.D:
You can't crush a cockroach! [laughs maniacally]

The Missing Link:
[lifting weights] One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight... [notices Susan] Uh, 999, 1,000. Phew! I can not believe I did ten sets!

The Missing Link:
Does anybody have a 20 on Insectosaurus?

B.O.B:
I may not have a brain, gentlemen, but I have an idea.

B.O.B:
What are they running away from?

President Hathaway:
I must approach it alone. This is all about "peaceful communication".

Jerry:
How many times do you have to tell me this? UFOs don't exist, and we're never gonna see one.

Jordan:
Hey, Jerry, you wanna check this one out. Uh, Palomar just picked up... Looks like some type of UFO and it's heading this way.

Jordan:
Wow, its energy signature is massive.

Jordan:
Jerry, stop it. Let me calculate its impact point. Looks like... Modesto, California.

Wedding Guest:
[after Susan grows to her massive height] Here comes the bride!

Announcer:
Channel 172.

Derek:
Wow. You're… glowing.

Susan:
[unaware that she is indeed glowing green; kindly] Thank you.

Derek:
No. No, Susan, you're, like, really glowing. You're green!

Susan:
[looks at her left arm and gasps] Oh, no! [she starts growing with her hair turning all white] Derek!

[Everyone in the church watches in horror at her "growth spurt"]

Wendy:
[shocked with horror] Oh, my gosh!

Derek:
What's going on?! What's happening here?!

Susan:
You're all shrinking!

Derek:
Uh-uh! You're growing!

Susan:
Oh, please, God, tell me this isn't real. Please tell me I had a nervous breakdown at the wedding, and now I'm in a mental hospital on medication that's giving me hallucinations.

[She backs up slowly, but touches something hairy behind and looks up. Insectosaurus roars, Susan screams and run towards to cell doors.]

Missing Link:
Don't scare Insectosaurus! He's gonna pee himself, then we'll all be in trouble.

Susan:
Every room has a door! There's gotta be a door here! Where's the door?

Missing Link:
[petting Insectosaurus] It's OK, buddy. Don't worry about it. Who's a handsome bug, huh? You like it when I rub your tummy?

Susan:
[panicking] Please! Somebody! I don't belong here! Let out OUT!

Missing Link:
Hey, hey, that is not a good idea.

Susan:
[runs to cell door, pounds on it] LET ME OUT!!

[The cell door opens, two red lights shown from the dark. It emerges from there is General W.R. Monger, who has a jet pack strapped.]

General W.R. Monger:
Monsters, get back in your cells.

Susan:
Okay! It's gonna be okay! Look! I'm gonna get to out of there! Hold on a second! We have to get off the bridge before say right now!

[Susan fights Gallaxhar's robot, while preventing bystanders' cars from falling off the bridge.]

B.O.B.:
Wow! [two thumbs up] You're doing great!

Susan:
[extremely annoyed] I'm doing everything!

Missing Link:
Not for long! C'mon you guys, let's take this thing down! [runs into a deflector shield]

Dr. Cockroach:
A deflector shield. Typical. [Missing Link faints]

The Missing Link:
[emerges from a swimming pool, walking in a zombie-like manner and scaring people, screaming in pain] OOOOOOOOW!!!! CHLORINE!!!! CHLORINE!!! CHLORINE IN MY EYES!!!