Pride & Prejudice

Mr. Darcy:
May I have the next dance, Miss Elizabeth?

Elizabeth Bennet:
[taken aback] You may.

[from trailer]

Mrs. Bennet:
Is he amiable?

[from trailer]

Lydia Bennet:
[excited] He's single.

Kitty Bennet:
[excited] He's single.

Mrs. Bennet:
Oh, my goodness. Everybody behave naturally.

Mr. Darcy:
So this is your opinion of me. Thank you for explaining so fully. Perhaps these offences might have been overlooked had not your pride been hurt by my honesty...

Elizabeth Bennet:
*My* pride?

Mr. Darcy:
...in admitting scruples about our relationship. Could you expect me to rejoice in the inferiority of your circumstances?

Elizabeth Bennet:
And those are the words of a gentleman. From the first moment I met you, your arrogance and conceit, your selfish disdain for the feelings of others made me realize that you were the last man in the world I could ever be prevailed upon to marry.

[they look at each other for a long time as though about to kiss]

Mr. Darcy:
Forgive me, madam, for taking up so much of your time.

Elizabeth Bennet:
Do you deny it, Mr.Darcy? That you seperated a young couple who loved each other, exposing your friend to the censure world of caprice and *my sister* to derision and dissapointed hopes, involving them both in acute misery of the acutest kind and...

Mr. Darcy:
I do not deny it.

Elizabeth Bennet:
How could you do it?

Mr. Darcy:
Because I believed your sister was indifferent.

Elizabeth Bennet:
Indifferent?

Mr. Darcy:
I observed them most carefully and realized his attachment was far deeper than hers.

Elizabeth Bennet:
That's because she's shy!

Mr. Darcy:
Bingley too is modest, and was persuaded that she didn't feel strongly for him.

Elizabeth Bennet:
Because you suggested it!

Mr. Darcy:
I did it for his own good!

Elizabeth Bennet:
My sister hardly shows her true feelings to me. [silence] I suppose his... fortune had some bearing?

Mr. Darcy:
No, I wouldn't do your sister the dishonour it was just merely suggested...

Elizabeth Bennet:
What was?

Mr. Darcy:
[pause] It was clear that an advantageous marriage would be the worst option possible...

Elizabeth Bennet:
Did my sister give that impression?

Mr. Darcy:
No! No, there was, however, the matter of your family...

Elizabeth Bennet:
Our want of connection? Mr.Bingley did not seem to object...

Mr. Darcy:
No, it was more than that.

Elizabeth Bennet:
How, sir?

Mr. Darcy:
It was the lack of propriety shown by your mother, your three younger sisters, and even, on the occasion, your father. [thunder clash, Elizabeth is hurt] Forgive me. You and your sister I must exclude from this.

Elizabeth Bennet:
And what about Mr.Wickham?

Mr. Darcy:
Mr.Wickham?

Elizabeth Bennet:
What excuse can you give for your behavior toward him?

Mr. Darcy:
You take an eager interest.

Elizabeth Bennet:
He told me of his misfortunes.

Mr.Darcy:
Oh, they have been great.

Elizabeth Bennet:
You ruin his chances yet treat him with sarcasm.

Mr. Darcy:
So this is your opinon of me? Thank you for explaining so fully. Perhaps these offences might have been overlooked had your pride not been hurt by my scruples about our relationship. Am I to rejoice in the inferiority of your circumstances?

Elizabeth Bennet:
And those are the words of a gentleman? From the moment I met you your arrogance and conceit, your selfish disdain for the feelings of other made me realize that you are the last man in the world I could ever be prevailed upon to marry.

Elizabeth Bennet:
If I was uncivil, then that is some excuse. But I have other reasons, you know I have.

Mr. Darcy:
What reasons?

Elizabeth Bennet:
Do you think anything might tempt me to accept the hand of the man who has ruined, perhaps for ever, the happiness of a most beloved sister? Do you deny that you separated a young couple who loved each other, exposing your friend to censure of the world for caprice and my sister to derision for disappointed hopes, involving them both in misery of the acutest kind?

Mr. Darcy:
I do not deny it.

Elizabeth Bennet:
How could you do it?

Mr. Bingley:
[overheard by Charlotte and Elizabeth] But her sister Elizabeth is very agreeable.

Mr. Darcy:
Barely tolerable, I dare say. But not handsome enough to tempt me. You'd better return to your partner and enjoy her smiles. You're wasting your time with me. [the two men depart]

Charlotte Lucas:
Count your blessings, Lizzy. If he liked you, you'd have to talk to him.

Elizabeth Bennet:
Precisely. As it is I wouldn't dance with him for all of Darbyshire, let alone the miserable half.

Mrs. Bennet:
Have you no consideration for my poor nerves?

Mr. Bennet:
You mistake me, my dear. I have the utmost respect for your nerves. They've been my constant companion these twenty years.

Mr. Collins:
It's been many years since I had such an exemplary vegetable.

Mr. Bennet:
[exits study, finds four of his daughters eavesdropping] Good heavens. People.

Elizabeth Bennet:
I thought you were in London.

Mr. Darcy:
No... No. I'm not.

Jane Bennet:
Yes. A thousand times yes.

Caroline Bingley:
I can't help thinking that at some point someone is going to produce a piglet and we'll all have to chase it.

Caroline Bingley:
[Elizabeth enters the room, Darcy stands. Caroline is appalled] Good Lord, Miss Elizabeth. Did you walk here?

Elizabeth Bennet:
I did.

[long pause]

Elizabeth Bennet:
I'm so sorry. How is my sister?

Mr. Darcy:
She's upstairs.

Elizabeth Bennet:
[another pause; she smiles and curtseys] Thank you.

[she leaves the room]

Caroline Bingley:
My goodness, did you see her hem? Six inches deep in mud. She looked positively mediaeval.

Caroline Bingley:
Charles. You cannot be serious.

Jane Bennet:
He is just what a young man ought to be.

Mr. Darcy:
Tell me, do you and your sisters very often walk to Meryton?

Elizabeth Bennet:
Yes, we often walk to Meryton. It's a great opportunity to meet new people. In fact, when you met us, we'd just had the pleasure of forming a new acquaintance.

Mr. Darcy:
Mr Wickham's blessed with such happy manners, as may ensure his making friends. Whether he is capable of retaining them, is less certain.

Elizabeth Bennet:
He's been so unfortunate as to lose your friendship. I dare say that is an irreversible event.

Mr. Darcy:
It is. Why do you ask such a question?

Elizabeth Bennet:
To make out your character.

Mr. Darcy:
What have you discovered?

Elizabeth Bennet:
Very little. I hear such different accounts of you as puzzle me exceedingly.

Mr. Darcy:
I hope to afford you more clarity in the future.

Netherfield Butler:
A Mrs. Bennet, a Miss Bennet, a Miss Bennet and a Miss Bennet, sir.

Caroline Bingley:
Oh for heaven's sake, are we to receive every Bennet in the country?

Elizabeth Bennet:
Charlotte!

Charlotte Lucas:
My dear Lizzy. I've come to tell you the news. Mr. Collins and I are... engaged.

Elizabeth Bennet:
To be married?

Charlotte Lucas:
Yes of course. What other kind of engaged is there?

[Lizzy looks shocked]

Charlotte Lucas:
Oh, for Heaven's sake! Don't look at me like that Lizzy! There is no earthly reason why I shouldn't be as happy with him as any other.

Elizabeth Bennet:
But he's ridiculous!

Charlotte Lucas:
Oh hush! Not all of us can afford to be romantic. I've been offered a comfortable home and protection. There's alot to be thankful for.

Elizabeth Bennet:
But...

Charlotte Lucas:
I'm twenty-seven years old, I've no money and no prospects. I'm already a burden to my parents and I'm frightened. So don't you judge me, Lizzy. Don't you dare judge me!

Mr. Darcy:
I love you. Most ardently. Please do me the honor of accepting my hand.

Elizabeth Bennet:
Sir, I appreciate the struggle you have been through, and I am very sorry to have caused you pain. Believe me, it was unconsciously done.

Mr. Darcy:
Is this your reply?

Elizabeth Bennet:
Yes, sir.

Mr. Darcy:
Are you... are you laughing at me?

Elizabeth Bennet:
No.

Mr. Darcy:
Are you *rejecting* me?

Elizabeth Bennet:
I'm sure that the feelings which, as you've told me have hindered your regard, will help you in overcoming it.

Mr. Darcy:
Might I ask why, with so little endeavor at civility, I am thus repulsed?

Elizabeth Bennet:
And I might as well enquire why, with so evident a design of insulting me, you chose to tell me that you liked me against your better judgment.

Elizabeth Bennet:
And that put paid to it. I wonder who first discovered the power of poetry in driving away love?

Mr. Darcy:
I thought that poetry was the food of love.

Elizabeth Bennet:
Of a fine stout love, it may. But if it is only a vague inclination I'm convinced one poor sonnet will kill it stone dead

Mr. Darcy:
So what do you recommend to encourage affection?

Elizabeth Bennet:
Dancing. Even if one's partner is barely tolerable.

Mr. Bennet:
Well, if Jane does die, it will be a comfort to know she was in pursuit of Mr. Bingley.

Mrs. Bennet:
People do not *die* of colds.

Elizabeth Bennet:
Though she may well perish with the shame of having such a mother.

Mrs. Bennet:
But she doesn't like him. I thought she didn't like him.

Jane Bennet:
So did I, so did we all. We must have been wrong.

Mrs. Bennet:
Wouldn't be the first time, will it?

Jane Bennet:
No, nor the last I dare say.

Mr. Bennet:
I cannot believe that anyone can deserve you... but it apppears I am overruled. So, I heartily give my consent.

Elizabeth Bennet:
[kissing and hugging him] Thank you.

Mr. Bennet:
I could not have parted with you, my Lizzy, to anyone less worthy.

Mr. Bingley:
[to Jane, about to propose to her] First, I must tell you I've been the most unmitigated and comprehensive ass.

Charlotte Lucas:
Not all of us can afford to be romantic, Lizzy.

[last lines]

[US version]

Mr. Darcy:
How are you this evening, my dear?

Elizabeth Bennet:
Very well... although I wish you would not call me "my dear."

Mr. Darcy:
[chuckles] Why?

Elizabeth Bennet:
Because it's what my father always calls my mother when he's cross about something.

Mr. Darcy:
What endearments am I allowed?

Elizabeth Bennet:
Well let me think..."Lizzy" for every day, "My Pearl" for Sundays, and..."Goddess Divine"... but only on *very* special occasions.

Mr. Darcy:
And... what should I call you when I am cross? Mrs. Darcy...?

Elizabeth Bennet:
No! No. You may only call me "Mrs. Darcy"... when you are completely, and perfectly, and incandescently happy.

Mr. Darcy:
[he snickers] Then how are you this evening... Mrs. Darcy?

[kisses her on the forehead]

Mr. Darcy:
Mrs. Darcy...

[kisses her on the right cheek]

Mr. Darcy:
Mrs. Darcy...

[kisses her on the nose]

Mr. Darcy:
Mrs. Darcy...

[kisses her on the left cheek]

Mr. Darcy:
Mrs. Darcy...

[finally kisses her on the mouth]

Elizabeth Bennet:
[as she writes to Jane, Darcy suddenly enters] Mr.Darcy. [Darcy bows, Elizabeth stands and curtseys] Please, do be seated. [no reponse] [silence] Mr and Mrs Collins have gone to the village.

Mr. Darcy:
[nods and looks around the room] This is a charming house. I believe my aunt did a great deal to it when Mr.Collins first arrived.

Elizabeth Bennet:
I believe so. She could not have bestowed her kindness on a more grateful subject. [more silence, neither one of them know what to say]

Elizabeth Bennet:
Shall I call for some tea?

Mr. Darcy:
No, thank you. [a few brief more moments of silence]

Mr. Darcy:
Good day, Miss Elizabeth, it's been a pleasure. [rushes out, passing by Charlotte]

Charlotte Lucas:
[to Elizabeth] What have you done to poor Mr.Darcy?

Elizabeth Bennet:
...I have no idea.

Mr. Darcy:
Miss Elizabeth. I have struggled in vain and I can bear it no longer. These past months have been a torment. I came to Rosings with the single object of seeing you... I had to see you. I have fought against my better judgment, my family's expectations, the inferiority of your birth by rank and circumstance. All these things I am willing to put aside and ask you to end my agony.

Elizabeth Bennet:
I don't understand.

Mr. Darcy:
I love you.

Mr. Bennet:
How happy for you, Mr. Collins, to possess a talent for flattering with such... delicacy.

Elizabeth Bennet:
Do these pleasing attentions proceed from the impulse of the moment, or are they the result of previous study?

Mr. Collins:
They arise chiefly from what is passing of the time. And though I do sometimes amuse myself with arranging such little elegant compliments, I always wish to give them as unstudied an air as possible.

Elizabeth Bennet:
Oh, believe me, no one would suspect your manners to be rehearsed.

Charlotte Lucas:
What on earth have you done to poor Mr. Darcy?

Elizabeth Bennet:
I have no idea.

Elizabeth Bennet:
[about Mr. Darcy] He is not proud. I was wrong, I was entirely wrong about him. You don't know him, Papa. If I told you what he's really like, what he's done.

Mr. Bennet:
What has he done?

Mrs. Bennet:
Have you no consideration for my nerves?

Mr. Bennet:
You mistake me, my dear. I have the utmost respect for your nerves. They've been my constant companion these twenty years.

Mr. Collins:
Charlotte, come here.

Charlotte Lucas:
Has the pig escaped again?

[looks out window]

Charlotte Lucas:
Oh. It's Lady Catherine.

Georgiana Darcy:
[to Elizabeth on playing the piano] Do you play duets Miss Bennet?

Elizabeth Bennet:
Only when forced.

Georgiana Darcy:
[to Darcy] Brother, you must force her.

Mr. Darcy:
You must know... surely, you must know it was all for you. You are too generous to trifle with me. I believe you spoke with my aunt last night, and it has taught me to hope as I'd scarcely allowed myself before. If your feelings are still what they were last April, tell me so at once. My affections and wishes have not changed, but one word from you will silence me forever. If, however, your feelings have changed, I will have to tell you: you have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love, I love, I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on.

Elizabeth Bennet:
[On Marriage] Is that really all you think about?

Mrs. Bennet:
When you have five daughters, Lizzie, tell me what else will occupy your thoughts, and then perhaps you will understand.

Elizabeth Bennet:
I've been so blind.

[last lines, UK version]

Mr. Bennet:
If any young men come for Mary or Kitty, for heaven's sake, send them in. I'm quite at my leisure.

Mrs. Bennet:
Do you not want to know who has taken it?

Mr. Bennet:
As you wish to tell me, my dear, I doubt I have any choice in the matter.

Jane Bennet:
Oh, Lizzy, if I could but see you happy. If there were such another man for you.

Elizabeth Bennet:
Perhaps Mr. Collins has a cousin.

Elizabeth Bennet:
I could more easily forgive his vanity had he not wounded mine.

Elizabeth Bennet:
He looks miserable, poor soul.

Charlotte Lucas:
Miserable he may be, but poor he most certainly is not.

Elizabeth Bennet:
Tell me.

Charlotte Lucas:
10,000 a year and he owns half of Derbyshire.

Elizabeth Bennet:
The miserable half?

Mr. Collins:
...which are only to be obtained through intercourse...

[pause, thunder]

Mr. Collins:
Forgive me... through the intercourse of friendship or civility.

Mr. Darcy:
I... do not have the talent of conversing easily with people I have never met before.

Elizabeth Bennet:
Perhaps you should take your aunt's advice and practice?

[Mr. Darcy walks next to the piano]

Elizabeth Bennet:
You mean to frighten me, Mr. Darcy, by coming in all your state to hear me, but I won't be alarmed even if your sister does play so well.

Mr. Darcy:
I am well enough acquainted with you, Miss Elizabeth, to know that I can not alarm you, even should I wish it.

Elizabeth Bennet:
Are you too proud Mr. Darcy? And would you consider pride a fault or a virtue?

Mr. Darcy:
That I couldn't say.

Elizabeth Bennet:
Because we're doing our best to find a fault in you.

Mr. Darcy:
Maybe it's that I find it hard to forgive the follies and vices of others, or their offenses against me. My good opinion, once lost, is lost forever.

Elizabeth Bennet:
Oh, dear, I cannot tease you about that. What a shame, for I dearly love to laugh.

Caroline Bingley:
A family trait, I think.

Caroline Bingley:
Miss Elizabeth, let us take a turn about the room.

[Caroline takes Lizzy's arm in hers, and they walk gracefully in a circle around the room]

Caroline Bingley:
It's refreshing, is it not after sitting so long in one attitude?

Elizabeth Bennet:
And it is a small kind of accomplishment, I suppose.

Caroline Bingley:
Will you not join us, Mr. Darcy?

Mr. Darcy:
You can only have two motives, Caroline and I would interfere with either.

Caroline Bingley:
What can he mean?

Elizabeth Bennet:
Our surest way of disappointing him will be to ask him nothing about it.

Caroline Bingley:
But Do tell us, Mr. Darcy.

Mr. Darcy:
Either you are in each other's confidence and have secret affairs to discuss, or you are conscious that your figures appear to the greatest advantage by walking. If the first, I should get in your way. If the second, I can admire you much better from here.

Elizabeth Bennet:
Did I just agree to dance with Mr. Darcy?

Charlotte Lucas:
I dare say you will find him amiable.

Elizabeth Bennet:
It would be most inconvenient since I have sworn to loathe him for all eternity.

[both laugh]

Mr. Darcy:
And are you having a pleasant trip?

Elizabeth Bennet:
Yes... very pleasant.

Mr. Bennet:
Your mother will never see you again if you do not marry Mr. Collins... And I will never see you again if you do.

[ordered to order Lizzie to accept Mr. Collins's proposal]

Mr. Bennet:
Your mother insists on you marrying Mr. Collins...

Mrs. Bennet:
Yes! Or I'll never see her again!

Mr. Bennet:
Well, Lizzy, from this day henceforth it seems you must be a stranger to one of your parents...

Mrs. Bennet:
Who will maintain you when your father's gone?

Mr. Bennet:
Your mother will never see you again if you do not marry Mr. Collins... and I will never see you again if you do.

Mrs. Bennet:
Mr. Bennet!

Elizabeth Bennet:
Thank you, Papa.

Mrs. Bennet:
...and then he danced the third with Miss Lucas.

Mr. Bennet:
We were all there, dear.

Mrs. Bennet:
Oh, poor thing. It is a shame she's not more handsome. There's a spinster in the making and no mistake. The fourth with a Miss King, of little standing... and the fifth again with Jane.

Mr. Bennet:
If he'd had any compassion for me, he would have sprained his ankle in the first set.

Elizabeth Bennet:
He's been a fool about so many things, about Jane, and others... but then, so have I. You see, he and I are so similar.

[starts laughing helplessly]

Elizabeth Bennet:
We've been nonsensical! Papa, I...

Mr. Bennet:
[also starts laughing, softly] You really do love him, don't you?

Elizabeth Bennet:
Very much.

Elizabeth Bennet:
If he cannot percieve her regard, he is a fool.

Charlotte Lucas:
We are all fools in love.

Mr. Collins:
Do not make yourself uneasy, my dear cousin, about your apparel.

Charlotte Lucas:
Just put on whatever you bought that's best.

Mr. Collins:
Lady Catherine has never been averse to the truly humble.

Elizabeth Bennet:
I'm very fond of walking.

Mr. Darcy:
Yes... yes I know.

Lady Catherine de Bourg:
Mr. Darcy is engaged to my daughter. Now what have you to say?

Elizabeth Bennet:
Only this - that if he is so, you can have no reason to suppose he will make an offer to *me*.

Elizabeth Bennet:
What a beautiful pianoforte.

Georgiana Darcy:
My brother gave it to me. He shouldn't have.

Mr. Darcy:
Yes, I should've.

Georgiana Darcy:
Oh, very well then.

Mr. Darcy:
Easily persuaded, is she not?

Elizabeth Bennet:
Your unfortunate brother once had to put up with my playing for a whole evening.

Georgiana Darcy:
But he says you play so well.

Elizabeth Bennet:
Then he has perjured himself most profoundly.

Mr. Darcy:
No I said, "played quite well."

Elizabeth Bennet:
Oh, "quite well" is not "very well." I'm satisfied.

Lady Catherine de Bourg:
Now tell me once and for all: Are you engaged to him?

Elizabeth Bennet:
I am not.

Lady Catherine de Bourg:
And will you promise never to enter into such an engagement?

Elizabeth Bennet:
I will not and I certainly never shall. You have insulted me in every possible way, and can now have nothing further to say. [Goes towards the door] I must ask you to leave immediately. [Opens door] Good night.

Lady Catherine de Bourg:
[Storms out] I have never been thus treated in my entire life.

Elizabeth Bennet:
Now if every man in the room does not end the evening in love with you then I am no judge of beauty.

Jane Bennet:
[giggles] Or men.

Elizabeth Bennet:
[laughs brightly] No, they are far too easy to judge.

Jane Bennet:
They're not all bad.

Elizabeth Bennet:
Humorless poppycocks, in my limited experience.

Jane Bennet:
One of these days, Lizzy, someone will catch your eye and then you'll have to watch your tongue.

Mr. Darcy:
Mr. Gardiner, are you fond of fishing?

Mr. Gardiner:
Oh, very much.

Mr. Darcy:
Can I persuade you to accompany me down to the lake this afternoon? It's very well-stocked, and its inhabitants have been left in peace for far too long.

Mr. Gardiner:
I would be delighted.

Mr. Bennet:
Lizzy, are you out of your senses? I thought you hated the man.

Elizabeth Bennet:
No, Papa.

Mr. Bennet:
He's rich, to be sure, and you will have more fine carriages than Jane. But will that make you happy?

Elizabeth Bennet:
Have you no objection other than your belief in my indifference?

Mr. Bennet:
None at all. We all know him to be a proud, unpleasant sort of fellow... but that would be nothing if you really liked him.

Elizabeth Bennet:
I do like him.

Mr. Bennet:
Well...

Elizabeth Bennet:
I love him.

Mr. Bingley:
[Flustered after visiting with the Bennett's had not gone as hoped] She was going to say "sit down", and...

Mr. Bingley:
[Practicing proposing, with Mr. Darcy as Jane] Miss Bennett.

Mr. Darcy:
[Bows] Mr. Bingley.

Elizabeth Bennet:
He's so... He's so... He's so rich.

Mary Bennet:
What are men compared to rocks and mountains?

Mary Bennet:
The glories of nature. What are men compared to rocks and mountains?

Elizabeth Bennet:
Believe me. Men are either eaten up with arrogance or stupidity. If they are amiable, they are so easily led they have no minds of their own whatsoever.

Mrs. Gardiner:
Take care, my love. That savors strongly of bitterness.

Mr. Darcy:
Do you talk, as a rule, while dancing?

Elizabeth Bennet:
No... No, I prefer to be unsociable and taciturn... Makes it all so much more enjoyable, don't you think?

Mr. Collins:
Mrs. Bennet I was hoping, if it would not trouble you, that I might solicit a private audience with Miss Elizabeth in the course of the morning.

Mrs. Bennet:
Oh, yes. Certainly. Lizzy will be very happy indeed. Everyone, out. Mr. Collins would like a private audience with your sister.

Elizabeth Bennet:
No, no, wait, please. I beg you. Mr. Collins can have nothing to say to me that anybody need not hear.

Mrs. Bennet:
No nonsense, Lizzy. I desire you will stay where you are. Everyone else to the drawing room. Mr. Bennet?

Mr. Bennet:
But...

Mrs. Bennet:
Now.

Mrs. Bennet:
Now she'll have to stay the night. Exactly as I predicted.

Mr. Bennet:
Good grief, woman. Your skills in the art of matchmaking are positively occult. [Mrs. Bennet giggles]

Elizabeth Bennet:
Though I don't think, Mama, you can reasonably take credit for making it rain.

Mr. Darcy:
Are you so severe on your own sex?

Elizabeth Bennet:
I never saw such a woman. She would certainly be a fearsome thing to behold.

[first lines]

Jane Bennet:
Lydia. Kitty.

Mr. Bennet:
Poor Jane. Still, a girl likes to be crossed in love now and then. It gives her something to think of... and a sort of distinction amongst her companions.

Mr. Bingley:
This is a disaster isn't it!

Mr. Wickham:
And buckles. When it comes to buckles, I'm lost.

Elizabeth Bennet:
Dear, oh dear. You must be the shame of the regiment.

Mr. Wickham:
Oh, a laughing stock!

Elizabeth Bennet:
What DO your superiors do with you?

Mr. Wickham:
Ignore me, mostly.

Mr. Bennet:
[upon finding a very upset Mary] Mary, my dear Mary.

[hugs her]

Mr. Bennet:
Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

Mary Bennet:
[sobbing] I've been practicing all week.

Mr. Bennet:
I know, my dear.

Mary Bennet:
[sobbing] I hate balls!

Mr. Wickham:
I can't be trusted.

Mr. Collins:
Mr. Collins at your service.

Elizabeth Bennet:
[to Mr. Collins] Mr. Collins, I cannot accept you.

Elizabeth Bennet:
Only the deepest love will persuade me into matrimony.

Mrs. Bennet:
You must visit him at once.

Elizabeth Bennet:
Do you dance, Mr. Darcy?

Mr. Darcy:
Not if I can help it.

Lady Catherine de Bourg:
That is very strange.

Mrs. Bennet:
Netherfield Park is let at last. Have you heard who has taken it?

Mr. Bennet:
I have.

Mr. Collins:
[regarding Lady Catherine] My small rectory abuts her estate.

Mrs. Bennet:
My dear Mr. Bennet, have you heard? Netherfield Park is let at last! Do you not wish to know who has taken it?

Mr. Bennet:
As you wish to tell me, my dear, I doubt I have any choice in the matter.

Elizabeth Bennet:
Kitty! Lydi! What have I told you about listening at the door!

Lydia Bennet:
Shh! Nevermind that! It's Mr. Bingley, right from the North! [Kitty is incoherent] Five thousand a year!

Elizabeth Bennet:
Really?

Lydia Bennet, Kitty Bennet:
[in unison] He's single!

Jane Bennet:
Who's single?

Elizabeth Bennet:
A Mr. Bingley, apparently.

Kitty Bennet:
Shh!

Mr. Bennet:
How can that possibly affect them?

Mrs. Bennet:
Oh Mr. Bennet, how can you be so tiresome? You know he must marry one of them!

Mr. Bennet:
Ah, so that is his desire in settling here.

Mrs. Bennet:
You must go and visit him at once!

Mr. Bennet:
Good heavens. People.

Mrs. Bennet:
For we may not visit if you do not, as you well know, Mr. Bennet!

Mr. Bennet:
There's no need. I already have.

Mrs. Bennet:
Have? Oh Mr Bennet! How can you tease me so? Have you no compassion for my poor nerves?

Mr. Bennet:
Oh you mistake me, my dear. I have the highest respect for them. They've been my constant companion these twenty years.

Kitty Bennet:
Papa!

Mrs. Bennet:
Is he amiable?

Mary Bennet:
Who?

Kitty Bennet:
Is he handsome?

Mary Bennet:
Who?

Lydia Bennet:
He's sure to be handsome.

Elizabeth Bennet:
For five thousand a year, it would not matter if he's got warts and a leer.

Mary Bennet:
Who's got warts?

Mr. Bennet:
I'll give my heartiest consent to his marrying whichever of the girls he chooses.

Lydia Bennet:
So will he come to the ball tomorrow, Papa?

Mr. Bennet:
I believe so.

Elizabeth Bennet:
So which of the painted peacocks is our Mr. Bingley?

Charlotte Lucas:
Well he's on the right and on the left is his sister.

Elizabeth Bennet:
And the person with the quizzical brow?

Charlotte Lucas:
That is his good friend, Mr. Darcy.

Elizabeth Bennet:
The miserable poor soul!

Charlotte Lucas:
Miserable, he may be, but poor he most certainly is not.

Elizabeth Bennet:
Tell me.

Charlotte Lucas:
Ten thousand a year and he owns half of Derbyshire.

Elizabeth Bennet:
The miserable half?

Mrs. Bennet:
Mr. Bennet, you must introduce him to the girls! Immediately!

Sir William Lucas:
Mr. Bingley, my eldest daughter you know. Mrs. Bennet, Miss Jane Bennet, Elizabeth, and Miss Mary Bennet.

Mrs. Bennet:
It is a pleasure. I have two others, but they are already dancing.

Mr. Bingley:
I'm delighted to make your acquaintance.

Sir William Lucas:
And may I introduce Mr. Darcy of Pemberley and Derbyshire.

Jane Bennet:
How do you like it here in Hertfordshire, Mr. Bingley?

Mr. Bingley:
Very much.

Elizabeth Bennet:
The library at Netherfield, I've heard, is one of the finest in the country.

Mr. Bingley:
Yes, fills me with guilt. Not a very good reader, you see. Prefer being out of doors. Oh, I mean I can read, of course. And I'm not suggesting you can't read out of doors, of course. Um...

Jane Bennet:
I wish I read more but there always seems to be so many other things to do.

Mr. Bingley:
Yes, that's exactly what I meant!

Lydia Bennet:
Oh, Mama! You will never, ever, ever believe what we're about to tell you!

Mrs. Bennet:
Well tell me quickly, my love!

Lydia Bennet, Kitty Bennet:
[in unison] The regiment are coming!

Mrs. Bennet:
Officers!

Caroline Bingley:
We are a long way from Grover's Square, are we not, Mr. Darcy?

Charlotte Lucas:
I didn't know you were coming to see me! What's the matter?

Mr. Bingley:
I've never seen so many pretty girls in my life!

Mr. Darcy:
You are dancing with the only handsome girl in the room.

Mr. Bingley:
She is the most beautiful creature I have ever beheld. But her sister Elizabeth is very agreeable.

Mr. Darcy:
Barely tolerable, I daresay, but not handsome enough to tempt me. You'd better return to your partner and enjoy her smiles. You're wasting your time with me.

Charlotte Lucas:
Count your blessings, Lizzie. If he liked you you'd have to talk to him.

Elizabeth Bennet:
Precisely. As it is, I wouldn't dance with him for all of Derbyshire, let alone the miserable half!

Mrs. Bennet:
Jane is a splendid dancer, is she not?

Mr. Bingley:
Your friend, Miss Lucas, is a most amusing young woman.

Elizabeth Bennet:
Oh, yes, I adore her!

Mrs. Bennet:
It is a pity she's not more handsome.

Elizabeth Bennet:
Mama!

Mrs. Bennet:
Oh, but Lizzie would never admit that she's plain. Of course, it's my Jane that's considered the beauty of the county.

Jane Bennet:
No, Mama, please...

Mrs. Bennet:
When she was only fifteen there was a gentleman that was so much in love with her that I was sure he would make her an offer. However, he did write us some very pretty verses.

Jane Bennet:
Mr. Bingley is just what a young man ought to be. Sensible, good humour...

Elizabeth Bennet:
Handsome, conveniently rich.

Jane Bennet:
You know perfectly well that I do not believe that marriage should be driven by thoughts of money!

Jane Bennet:
Do you really believe he liked me, Lizzie?

Elizabeth Bennet:
Jane, he danced with you most of the night and stared at you for the rest of it. But I give you leave to like him. You've liked great deal a stupider person. You're a great deal too apt to like people in general, you know. All the world is good and agreeable in your eyes.

Jane Bennet:
Not his friend! I still can't believe what he said about you.

Elizabeth Bennet:
Mr. Darcy? I could more easily forgive his vanity had he not wounded mine. But no matter. I doubt we shall ever speak again.

Elizabeth Bennet:
Only the deepest love will persuade me into matrimony, which is why I will end up an old maid.

Mrs. Bennet:
Oh, Mr. Bennet, the way you carry on, anyone would think our girls look forward to a grand inheritance. When you die, Mr. Bennet, which may in fact be very soon, our girls will be left without a roof to their head nor a penny to their name.

Elizabeth Bennet:
Oh, Mama, please. It's ten in the morning.