Rugrats

Angelica:
You babies are so dumb, I can't believe you lived to be one.

Tommy:
Everything's back to Norman.

Angelica:
You dumb babies, monsters are just frigments of your infactuation.

Charles Finster Sr.:
When I was a kid, Christmas was always kind of disappointing. The best gift I ever got was a rubber glove and a tongue depressor.

Tommy:
Hang on to your diapies babies, we're going in.

Chuckie:
They're scary just like the English Muffins!

Angelica Pickles:
[Lil, pretending to be a garage attendant buffs Angelica's pedal car with her dress] You missed a spot!

Lil DeVille:
[spits shines car and rubs with dress] Out, Out, Darn spot!

Chuckie:
Coffee anyone?

Tommy:
Sure, I'll have a cup of Jobe.

Tommy:
[Takes a sip of coffee and spits it back out] This coffee taste like mud!

Chuckie:
[Takes a sip] It is mud.

Didi:
Stu, you'll never guess whose coming to dinner!

Stu:
Sidney Poitier?

Chuckie:
You guys hear that? My Daddy says I'm going backwards

Tommy:
Chuckie, If you were going backwards, you would have taked off your glasses instead of putting them on

[Chuckie scratches his head]

Tommy:
and went up the stairs instead of come down them.

Phil:
It just means you're turning backwards into a baby baby.

Lil:
'Cause you went potty in the bed.

Chuckie:
[gasps] That must have been what he meant!

Phil:
Wow, that means soon you'll be just like...

[camera pans to a drooling Dil]

Dil:
[strains] Poopy!

Chuckie:
Oh, Great! You mean I'm gonna be doing *that* in my pants again and telling everybody when I *do* it?

Phil:
[coughs] It's okay to keep *some* secrets, Chuckie.

Tommy:
[Chuckie shows his new Dummi Bear training pants] Er, what do they do, Chuckie?

Chuckie:
They're just in case I forget to go potty; but my Daddy said they're *definitely* different from diapers.

Phil, Lil:
[Phil pokes Chuckie, and he and Lil respond deadpan] Diapies.

Phil:
Don't you remember how great diapies is, Chuckie? You can keep stuff in 'em [pulls Juice Box out]

Lil:
And the betest part is; Wherever you're playing, you can stay *and* go at the same time.

Angelica:
I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. DeVille.

Plumber:
Hopes this doesn't get me banned from the house.

[Chuckie has escaped being trampled by a crowd dancing the Hora]

Phil:
Chuckie! What happened?

Chuckie:
[dizzy] The Hora! The Hora!

Tommy Pickles:
Well, I think a diaper is all any baby ever needs.

Chuckie:
I don't know, Tommy. Ever since I started going on the potty, a diaper just doesn't feel right.

Lil DeVille:
Dressies are the bestest of all. They don't rub, they're nice and cool, and you still got something over your diaper for when friends come over.

Tommy Pickles:
We can't?

Lil DeVille:
No, boys wear pants and girls wear dressies.

Tommy Pickles:
Well, why do we gots to wear different stuff?

Lil DeVille:
'Cause girls are good and boys are bad, naughty babies.

Tommy Pickles:
Oh, that's why.

Angelica Pickles:
[approaching her baby brother in her dream] So you're the new baby, huh?

New Baby:
[in baby talk] A gaga ga ga [suddenly talking in a deep voice reminiscent of a gangster] That's right I'm the new baby, I'm the new baby and you're the old baby see, and you'd better get something straight right off the bat [grabbing her by the front of her jumper] there ain't room in the house for the both of us!

Angelica Pickles:
[runs away screaming in terror] Mommy!, mommy!

Charlotte Pickles:
What's wrong honey?

Angelica Pickles:
The new baby, it talked to me, it said mean things to me!

Charlotte Pickles:
Oh that's ridiculous you know babies can't talk

Drew Pickles:
Charlotte you're right it'll be perfect for the new baby

Charlotte Pickles:
Oh by the way we're moving the new baby into your room and giving him all your toys!

New Baby:
[approaches the closet Angelica is sleeping in while licking a lollipop] Hey what are you doing here sister, I thought I told you to scram! [notices the cheese Charlotte had given her, talking in a high pitched voice] Ooh num num! [eats the cheese and loudly belches] I warned you to get out but you wouldn't listen, now I'm going to have to teach you a lesson! [reaches for her]

Angelica Pickles:
[frightened] Get back!, get away from me!

New Baby:
You had your chance! [Angelica runs away screaming in terror and hides in a closet] Where's my big sister come out, come out where ever you are [opens the closet] Aha! [reaches for her and she runs away]

Angelica Pickles:
[runs into the basement into her toy mobile car] Gotta get out!, gotta get out! [takes out a toy key and starts the engine] Come on, come on! [drives away] I made, I made it, I... [notices the baby has grown giant sized]

New Baby:
[Angelica screams in horror] Where do you think you're going sister? [picks up the car with her inside] Hmm I wonder what a toy car would taste like?

Angelica Pickles:
[pleading with him] No please, I'm your big sister!

New Baby:
Well now you're num num! [eats her]

Dean:
I tell you Chuckie, there's no reason to be afraid of oatmeal.

Chuckie:
It's not really the oatmeal I'm afraid of. It's the guy on the box with the scary hat.

Angelica:
It has to be something really dangerous. After all, I am playing the most dangerous game of all.

Chuckie:
Musical chairs?

Angelica:
No, dummy! Love!

Kimi Finster:
Fly Superthing, fly.

Phil:
[Phil and Lil are eating worms] How about you eats the head and I eats the tail?

Lil:
Okay.

Phil:
Um, which one's which?

Angelica:
[episode: "Slumber Party"] If you have to ask, you'll never know.

Grandpa Lou Pickles:
[watching sappy movie "The Land Without Smiles"] "Land Without Brains" is more like it!

Shawna:
[in movie] Just make sure you give valentines to the other needy children, Squeaky Bear. It's too late for me.

Grandpa Lou Pickles:
It's too late for me, too.

Didi Pickles:
Shhh!

Grandpa Lou Pickles:
I'm gonna get some candy; I'd rather rot my teeth than sit here and rot my brain.

Angelica:
[about Grandpa's Cousin] She's not just my aunt; she's my great-aunt once removed!

Grandpa Lou Pickles:
If she can be removed once, then...

Tommy:
[preparing to retrieve his ball from the Neighbours' yard] Sometimes a baby's gotta do what a baby's gotta do. [Diaper falls down at the front; Tommy blushes]

Phil DeVille:
[On a mission with Lil to supposedly retrieve Howard's tongue from Fluffy] If we're not back in Eleventy days, You guys can have our linty collection!

Angelica:
Chanukah is that special time of year between Christmas and Misgiving when all the bestest holiday shows are on TV.

Minka:
If Shlomo and Boris make it through tonight's performance without killing each other, that will be the miracle of Chanukah.

Shlomo:
A menorah is, uh, like the nightlight of our people. In times of darkness it shines on the whole world reminding us not to be afraid to be different, but to be proud who we are.

Tommy:
I don't get it. We've looked everywhere.

Phil:
It's hard to find the meanie of Chanukah.

Chuckie:
Well, look on the bright side.

Chuckie:
[the lights dim] Never mind.

Phil:
What is it?

Tommy:
I don't know. But every night I have to wear a funny hat while Grandpa Boris says some stuff I don't understand and Mommy lights another candle.

Chuckie:
Sounds scary.

Tommy:
Yeah. But then I get a present.

Angelica:
Yecch! Topatoes? What kind of bobo-head makes pancakes out of topatoes?

[Angelica throws the latke on the floor. A man in a dreidel costume carrying a box of donuts slips on it, spins around and falls down. An old man walks by and looks at the dreidel; the gimmel side is up]

Old Man:
I win! [takes the entire box of donuts]

Chas Finster:
Oh look, Boris, your play made the front page! "Synagogue Seniors Stage Meaning of Chanukah."

Grandpa Boris:
[looks at newspaper] Wonderful! They took my picture for this. Oy gevalt! They used Shlomo's picture instead of mine!

Chas Finster:
What's a "Shlomo?"

Didi Pickles:
He's an old friend of Boris from his school days back in Russia.

Grandpa Boris:
What friend? Ever since we were young, he always tried to outdo me. I caught a smelt, he caught a sturgeon. I caught a cold, he caught the pneumonia. I start a family, he starts his "fancy-shmancy" business.

Lil:
[chewing on a dreidel] Hey, Tommy, these cradles don't taste like clay.

Phil:
[holds some chocolate money] And these moneys don't taste as good as the ones under the couch.

Grandpa Lou:
I thought the rabbi just wanted the thing fixed for the end of the Chanukah play, Stu, not reinvented!

Stu:
I know, pop, but I want Tommy to be proud of his heritage. Besides, I want to show Didi I'm really supportive of Chanukah.

Grandpa Lou:
Well, if you ask me, you're overdoin' it.

Stu:
Ha! When this baby fires up, they won't say I overdid it. They'll say I'm a genius.

Phil, Lil:
The Meanie of Chanukah!

Chuckie:
No wonder your grandpa doesn't want to play with him. I had to play with a meanie in day-care once.

Tommy:
Oh, what happened?

Chuckie:
First he made me lick the slide, and then he hugged me from the monkey bars, and then he put a worm on my head.

Tommy:
Oh, you don't think he'll do that to my grandpa, do you?

Chuckie:
If it's a growed-up meanie, it'll be much worser than that, Tommy.

Tommy:
What happened to the meanie at day-care?

Chuckie:
The teacher came over and dug me out of the sand. And then she made us both take a nap.

Tommy:
That's it, then! We've got to put the Meanie of Chanukah down for a nap!

Chuckie:
Ugh, me and my big mouth.

Grandpa Boris:
All my life you're upstaging me!

Shlomo:
Me? You're the one with the elders' bragging. My children this, and my grandchildren that. On and on!

Grandpa Boris:
You'd be proud of your children too, if you had any! But, nah, you were too busy with your fancy-pants business deal!

Shlomo:
[gasp] Is that what you think?

Grandpa Boris:
That's what you said.

Shlomo:
So sue me, I lied! Sadie and I, may she rest in peace, but never blessed me children! All I had was my fancy-pants business, Mr. Know-so-much! So now you know.

Angelica:
Me and Cynthia got some "ketchup" to do.

Phil:
Hail, Lillian!

Lil:
Hail, Philistine!

Tommy:
[as Judah the Maccabee] A Maccababy's gotta do what a Maccababy's gotta do!

Lowell:
To be, or... Maccabee! That is the question!

Chuckie:
[after being handed a book entitled "Plato"] Look, Tommy, a whole book about "Play-Doh."

Grandpa Boris:
[takes one of Didi's latkes] The miracle is, these things have clogged our people's arteries for 2,000 years, yet we survive.

Tommy:
These are the books our forefathers read, and our five-fathers and our six-fathers and I'm not stoppin' now.

Mr. Dreidel:
[catches Angelica after slipping on a latke tossed onto the floor by her] You! I broke a shin because of you!

Chuckie:
Tommy, what are you doing?

Tommy:
A Macababie's gotta do, what a Macababie's gotta do!

Didi Pickles:
Pop, Stu, it's time for the fair!

Stu:
[bursts out the door, covered in soot] You go on ahead, Deed! It needs a few minor adjustments. I'll meet you over at the church!

Grandpa Lou:
[while putting out a fire] It's a synagogue, Chanukah boy!

Stu:
Right, right, I knew that.

Lil:
[Angelica is on top of a human pyramid formed by the babies to watch TV, Lil is bearing her weight] Careful Angelica, that's my soft spot!

Angelica:
Your whole *head* is a soft spot!

Rabbi:
Attention, everybody! Fred King is sick tonight, so Lowell Onsteen will be playing the part of the village kvetch.

Lowell:
[disappointed] Village kvetch? You said I'd be playing the part of the king!

Rabbi:
I said you'd be replacing Mr. King.

Angelica:
Only some of us stay beautiful unless you go and get elastic perjury.

Chuckie Finster:
[Talking to some bushes he thinks are Tommy, Phil, and Lil] So I bumped right into a soft thing with four legs, and guess who it was? Spike,yeah!, isn't that great? [Gets no response] Tommy?, Lil?, Phil?, Don't you think that's great? [reaches into the bush with a disgusted reaction] Tommy I think you need a new diaper? [Looks more carefully at the bush] Ahhh! you're not Tommy! [sighs] Oh it's no use I'll never find anyone without my eyes

Drew:
I did it. I actually did it. I disciplined Angelica.

Chas Finster:
[Describing Chuckies trip to the barbershop] And after he spilled the industrial strength cologne, and got into the barrel of hair, he knocked over a tub of lather, ran into a shelf of shampoo, and snapped a cardboard cutout of Crew-cut the Clown right in half! I've never been so humiliated in all my life!

Stu Pickles:
Sure you have, Chas. What about the time you got stood up at your senior prom?

Didi Pickles:
Or the time your boss called you an imbecile over the PA system?

Stu Pickles:
Or the time that old woman at the supermarket punched you in the jaw?

Didi Pickles:
Or the time that...

Chas Finster:
Ok! Ok! I exaggerated! But it was a pretty ugly scene.

Drew Pickles:
You sure you got enough eggs?

Stu Pickles:
Yeah. I wanted to be safe, so I order a gross.

Drew Pickles:
A gross? Stu, that's a 144 eggs!

Stu Pickles:
Oops.

Chuckie Finster:
[after Megan rejects his gift of Candy] I mean, sure it was in Tommy's diaper for a couple of days but it's still a perfectly good Reptar bar.

Chuckie Finster:
[smitten with Megan] I know it's kinda early to be thinking about marriage, but hey, I'm gonna be three next year!

Phil DeVille:
[after hearing of Chuckie reasoning that Megan's teasing is her way of showing Chuckie she likes him, Lil pushes Phil down while playing in the sand] Hey, What'd you do that for?

Lil DeVille:
'Cause I liked ya.

[both laugh]

Angelica Pickles:
[When they hug her after learning she won't be moving away] What's the matter with you dumb babies? Are your diapers on too tight?

Charles 'Chuckie' Finster, Jr.:
[after Ben and Elaine put the babies in new outfits] I just don't feel like me, Tommy.

Tommy Pickles:
I know what you mean, Chuckie. I'm all snapped in! If I ever had to get nakey in a hurry, I'd be in *big* trouble.

Angelica:
When life gives you lemons, make apple sauce.

Angelica:
Look out! The Abominable Snowman! He lives here, you know.

Angelica:
What kind of bozo would not put the key in the package?

Chuckie Finster:
Bozo works at the handcuff factory?

Angelica:
Do me a favor; just keep quiet for a while!

Stu Pickles:
[after babies have soiled themselves following the Dads' overfeeding] Okay, Men. We've done it before... Just not all at once. I'll get the wipes.

Chas Finster:
I'll get the diapers!

Howard DeVille:
I'll get the rubber gloves!

Chas Finster:
[Before leaving] Uh... Way to go kids!

Tommy:
Come on, Chuckie, it's just one small step.

Chuckie:
Looks like a giant leap to me!

Chuckie:
[to Tommy] Is your Dad mad at me? I've never heard him say words like that before.

Angelica C. Pickles:
I am wonderful aren't I? And lets face it I am definitely talented... JAZZ HANDS.

[Thinking that they wished Dil away]

Tommy:
But... but... people just don't disappear because you wish for them to.

Phil:
Yeah, Angelica- you're still here.

Chaz Finster:
I can't believe Didi's baby brother is getting married. I mean it seems like only yesterday, he was running around in shorts screaming.

Stu Pickles:
That was yesterday, Chaz. Remember the bachelor party?

Chaz Finster:
Oh yeah.

Chuckie:
[after asking Chuckie why he allowed them to be locked in the closet] But Ms. Angelica you told me to come in here

Angelica:
So what? If I told you to jump off a bridge would you do it?

Chuckie:
Probably

Angelica:
[Angelica flies off the swing-set, landing face first on the ground] I did it! I did it! I jumped off the swing-set farther than you! All I gotta do is beat you about fifty more times and... [is dazed] Oh, gee... what pretty colors!

Paul Gatsby:
[Losing patience with the adults incessantly talking about the "Dummi Bears" throughout dinner] What is WRONG with you people? Don't you have any *real* lives outside of this mindless cartoon?

Betty DeVille:
Well, really! I thought you'd like to hear from some of your fans!

Paul Gatsby:
Well, I *don't*!

Chas Finster:
How could the creator of Happy Bear be so cruel?

Angelica Pickles:
[after Phil and Lil try out Chuckie and Angelica's personalities] So you decided to learn from the master?

Lil DeVille:
Back off, Pigtails!

[pushes past her to get to toybox]

Lil DeVille:
[struggles to open Howard's drawer to get the calculator] Angelica, Help me open this drawer!

Angelica Pickles:
Wait a minute! I've been taking orders from you *all* day! Give me *one* good reason why I should do what you say?

Lil DeVille:
[climbs down onto chair, Angelica is in fear] You know, Angelica; I kinda see what you mean;

Angelica Pickles:
You do?

Lil DeVille:
Sure. After all, you're a *great* big kid and I'm just a baby.

Angelica Pickles:
Yeah, That's right!

Lil DeVille:
I mean, why should a big kid like you listen to a little kid like me?

Angelica Pickles:
Yeah! Why I should I?

Lil DeVille:
[screams] BECAUSE I SAID SO! [Angelica falls backward]

Lil DeVille:
[the babies make it back to the Pickles' yard, Lil has the calculator in hand and opens Spike's doggy door to let Tommy through. The door hits Tommy, Lil breaks character to help him up] Oh, Sorry.

Angelica Pickles:
And just what are *you* doing?

Lil DeVille:
I'm helping Tommy up.

Angelica Pickles:
[Incredulous] Helping Tommy up?

Lil DeVille:
[realises she's meant to be acting like Angelica] Oh, I see what you mean!

[kicks Tommy in his bottom]

Lil DeVille:
Now let's go!

Angelica Pickles:
Look, I get what you're doing, Lil. But *Nobody* talks to *ME* like that!

Lil DeVille:
Nobody... Until Now!

[Pushes Angelica to the floor]

Angelica Pickles:
[dazed] There's a first time for everything, I guess.

Lil DeVille:
[after she takes the calculator from the drawer] I'll tell you what we're gonna do with it; We're gonna take it out back and throw it in the mud!

Phil DeVille:
[breaks "Chuckie" character momentarily] Neat!

Chuckie Finster:
Excuse me, Phil, but you're trying to be like me, right?

Phil DeVille:
Yeah.

Chuckie Finster:
So, I'd never say "Neat" at a time like this.

Phil DeVille:
Oh, I see what you mean.

Angelica Pickles:
[after a green glob of food falls from the door frame onto her] Daddy!

Lil DeVille:
[after Tommy tries to talk Lil in "Angelica" Mode out of going next door to get Howard's calculator] Tommy, what are you more afraid of? [mocking baby talk] Your mommy getting mad at you, [menacingly] or *this*? [brandishes fist at him, causing the others to recoil in shock]

Tommy Pickles:
[Angelica comes over to the play pen wearing a Dummi Bear costume] Angelica is that you in there?

Angelica Pickles:
[sarcastically] Gee no, Tommy, it's a real life Dummi Bear from Dummi Bear Land.

Chuckie Finster:
Phew, for a second I thought that really was Angelica.

Angelica Pickles:
Of course it's me you babies!

Chas Finster:
Gosh, after Happy Bear almost got caught by the taxidermist, I couldn't sleep for days!

Paul Gatsby:
Mr. Finster, have you talked to a psychiatrist about this?

Chas Finster:
Oh, he didn't understand.

Charlotte Pickles:
Angel, when you don't share, well, it... it won't look good on the application for Harvard.

Louis Kalhern 'Grandpa' Pickles I:
[pretending to quickly read a bedtime story] "Once upon a time there was a very lonely bunny who wanted some friends so he found some friends and everyone was happy. The end."

[repeated line]

Emmet:
I'm Hungry.

Tammy Fae Pickles:
Hey, y'all. [she holds out her hand to Tommy] I'm Tammy Fae.

Louis Kalhern 'Grandpa' Pickles I:
[to Tommy and Chuckie after Stu and Didi have left] There now that they're gone let's get down to some real fun, I've rented you boys some movies [holds up some video tapes] "Reptar Come Home", "Reptar Redux", and my personal favorite "Lonely Space Vixens" [holds up a tape with a cover featuring green skinned female aliens in bikinis] [laughs while wiggling his eyebrows] now that's for after you go to bed.

Chuckie Finster:
[as Finsterella goes to answer the door, only to see Phil and Lil dressed in leaderhosens] What is it?

Phil DeVille:
[with Swedish accent] Hi. I'm Hansel and she's Gretel.

Chuckie Finster:
I can see that, Phil. What do you want?

Lil DeVille:
[Swedish accent] Yah. We're losted.

Chuckie Finster:
Well you are even more losted than you think because you're in the wrong story!

Lil DeVille:
[regular voice] Whoopsie.

Phil DeVille:
[regular voice] Sorry.

[they leave]

Kira Finster:
I am sorry about Fifi. I did not realize she would affect your allergies.

Chas Finster:
That's okay, my immune system should kick in, in a few years.

Kimi Finster:
I just love my new big brother! [hugs Chuckie tightly]

Chuckie Finster:
You're not bad yourself, Kimi. But can you let go of my head?; You're crunching my glasses.

Marvin Finster:
[after learning Chuckie can only say "No"] Chuckie, will you ever amount to anything?

Chuckie Finster:
No!

Phil DeVille:
[after seeing Kimi lick Chuckie's face after Fifi the Poodle does and turns to Lil] How come you never licked *my* face?

Lil DeVille:
I just never thinked about it.

Angelica Pickles, Kimi Finster:
[Chuckie has a dream that he is Finsterella and Angelica and Kimi are his stepsisters] Finsterella!

Chuckie Finster:
Coming, Awful step-in Sisters!

[Chuckie runs into their bedroom]

Angelica Pickles:
We're hungry and want our breakfast!

Kimi Finster:
[Bouncing in her crib] Yeah, Brefast!

Chuckie Finster:
Ok... What would you like?

Angelica Pickles:
I want... Cookies and Cake and Jellybeans with Ice Cream and Chocolate Syrup and cherries and sprinkles, of course!

Kimi Finster:
[still bouncing] I wants what's she's having!

Chuckie Finster:
Gosh, I hope I can 'member all that... Uh let's see... That was beans and cherries and uh, cookies with syrup...

Angelica Pickles:
And Finsterella... After you make breakfast, don't forget to scrub the floors, brush Cynthia's hair and wash all of my clothes!

Kimi Finster:
[lands in laundry basket after jumping from crib] Yeah, Wash our clotheses!

[throws one of her diapers at Chuckie]

Chuckie Finster:
Yes, Awful step-in sisters. Oooh. Phew!

[pulls diaper from face]

Lil DeVille:
[Drinking a juice box Under the table with Phil, She gets an idea to lick his face as he had asked her why she had never done so earlier] Oh Philip... [Shows purple tongue and babbles girlishly]

Phil DeVille:
Aaah! [Runs with Lil in pursuit]

Angelica Pickles:
[Teaching the babies to play "Simon Says" for her own gains] Okay the first thing you gotta do is... Poke yourself in the eye!

Tommy Pickles:
No!

Angelica Pickles:
Do it!

Tommy Pickles:
No!

Angelica Pickles:
Do it! [Tommy, scared complies, as do The Twins and Angelica giggles at the results] *I* didn't say "Simon Says"! *Now* Simon Says poke yourself in the eye [laughs evilly]

[Didi is preparing for her appearance on the game show "Super Stumpers."]

Didi:
There is no way he'll get this one.

Alan Quebec:
What was President Nixon's...

[contestant Edmund buzzes in]

Edmund Haynes:
Ketchup and cottage cheese.

Alan Quebec:
Correct.

Didi:
Huh?

Alan Quebec:
This tool is used to tighten bolts...

[Didi buzzes in]

Didi:
What is a torque wrench?

Alan Quebec:
You're absolutely right... and Didi you don't have to answer in form of a question.

Didi Pickles:
[after the man in the Reptar suit hugs Chuckie] You know, Betty, I guess this is a kinder, gentler Reptar.

Betty DeVille:
Goodbye Video Sales!

Phil:
[about Chuckie] A kid his age should be outside playing with his friends, not up in his room boppin' his Boppo!

[Chuckie happily deflated a blow-up clown]

Chuckie:
He's gone! He's gone! He's gone! He's gone!

Angelica:
Yup, flat as a cat on the highway.

Angelica:
[Angelica tries to divide the Babies] Ok, Let's Pretend this nickel's a pie.

Phil DeVille:
What flavor?

Angelica:
What difference does it make?

Lil DeVille:
What do you mean there's no difference? There's a big difference between a chocolate pie and an apple pie!

Angelica:
Okay, it's an apple pie.

Phil DeVille:
Ew, I hate apple pie!

Angelica:
Fine, it's a chocolate pie.

Lil DeVille:
Blech!

Angelica:
[losing patience] Will you two put a lid on it?

Chuckie:
[while digging for more nickels] Find any nickels?

Tommy Pickles:
Naw just some old junk! [points at a 100 dollar bill, a gold watch, and a diamond ring]

Louis 'Grandpa' Pickles:
[talking in his sleep] Dust Bowl, Schmust Bowl! I ain't movin' to Californy!

Tommy:
Where's Chuckie?

Phil:
Maybe he went to look for Satchmo!

Angelica:
Chuckie's scared of the guy on the oatmeal box. Why would he want to look for Satchmo?

Angelica:
We couldn't sleep 'cause of the Satchmo.

Stu:
Satchmo? The trumpet player?

Angelica:
No, the monster.

Stu:
Say, I hope you're not reading the kids anything too scary, pop.

Louis 'Grandpa' Pickles:
Well, that all depends. It might be scary if you're thirty-five years old and you suddenly realize that you've never really lived!

Stu:
Look, pop, are you sure about this whole camping experiment?

Louis 'Grandpa' Pickles:
Stu, just because you had one bad eensy-weensy experience in the woods doesn't mean you have to wreck the great outdoors for everyone.

Stu:
Teensy weensy? I was lost for three days!

Louis 'Grandpa' Pickles:
Stu, that was over a year ago. Isn't it about time you put it behind ya?

Stu:
Fine, pop. Have it your way.

Stu:
[after Lou convinces him to join him and the kids camping in the yard] You know; it's kind of exciting out here in the middle of nature. It's almost kind of *primal*. For the first time, I'm experiencing the real Stu Pickles.

Angelica:
[Weary] Uncle Stu?

Stu:
What is it, Angelica? Out here I feel we can *really* communicate!

Angelica:
Go to sleep.

Stu:
[about taking Tommy to a child psychologist] There's nothing wrong with Tommy.

Didi:
How can you say that? Drawing on the walls proves that he cannot find a constructive outlet for his repressed, social anxieties.

Stu:
Deed, he's a year old!

Chuckie:
My tummy hurts.

Tommy:
Wow! The vaccuum ate up all those leaves!

Lil:
I'll bet the vaccuum's tummy hurts too.

Grandpa Boris:
[Watching Stu's home videos, he dials a phone] Hello, Dr. Kevorkian?

Tommy:
[at a pretend funeral for "Mr Friend"] Um, shouldn't someone say something?

Chuckie:
How about... Hinkle finkle dinkle do.

Tommy, Chuckie, Lil, Phil:
Ahem.

Mr. Friend:
[Tommy accidentally hugs Mr. Friend in his sleep] Rise and shine you sleepy head it's no fun to stay in bed [malfunctions] in bed, in bed, in bed-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d [head spins] [Tommy cries]

Mr. Friend:
[after the babies have buried him in the sand box] Stay away from squiggly worms they're full of dirt and yucky [malfunctioning] g-g-g-g-germs germs.

Chuckie Finster:
He was the best bug I ever had.

Phillip 'Phil' Deville:
He was the only bug you ever had.

Lil Deville:
Dead means that you go to sleep for a long time.

Phillip 'Phil' Deville:
Like forever.

Tommy Pickles:
I promised Angelica that no matter how much she asked, no matter how much she begged, no matter how much she cried, I wouldn't let her have any cookies! And guys, I'm gonna keep my promise

Chuckie Finster:
I love it when he gives these big speeches.

Angelica Pickles:
[flashback about cookies] I learned all the different varieties. Chocolate chip! Oatmeal! Gingerbread! [flashback ends] Each one delicious, special in it's own way. So you see, Tommy, cookies made me who I am.

Tommy Pickles:
[Angelica starts eating cookies that fell into a bucket of suds] But, Angelica! Those cookies are all soapy!

Angelica Pickles:
I don't care! [keeps eating, then groans] Ugh... Tommy? Come closer... closer...

Tommy Pickles:
Yeah?

Angelica Pickles:
[screams] Never, ever, ever let me eat cookies again! [burps]

Angelica Pickles:
Yuck! Don't you got anything good?

Waiter:
[Drops Posh accent and adopts an East Coast One] Hey, Joe! Break out the Pizza Squares!

Angelica Pickles:
[after the babies make a mess] My Pony!

Charlotte Pickles:
My Promotion!

Angelica Pickles:
[after catching the babies scoffing the food without manners] You're lucky nobody saw that but me.

Susie Carmichael:
[Angelica, Lil and Susie have scared off Tommy and Chuckie while wearing monster make up] Did you see when I rowled at him?

Lil Deville:
[giggling] I thought Tommy was gonna peepee in his diapey!

[repeated line]

Chuckie Finster:
[as newscaster] Why did it happen? How did it happen? Nobody knows.

Lil DeVille:
We like commercials!

Phil DeVille:
They're the bestest part!

Chuckie Finster:
[Lil whispers in Chuckie's ear] This just in! Phil is a doo-doo head! [Phil whispers in his ear] Flash! Lil has peanuts for brains! [Lil whispers again] Wait just a moment. Phil wouldn't know brains if they bit him on the nose... [Phil whispers again] We have an update. If brains were gasoline, Lil wouldn't have enough to power an ant's motorcycle around the outside of a penny.

Lil DeVille:
WHAT? [Tackles Phil; they begin fighting]

Tommy Pickles:
[as a game show host explaining the rules of the game to Chuckie] In this game you got to close your eyes and throw this ball as hard as you can [hands Chuckie an 8 ball]

Chuckie Finster:
[sees that the room is full of valuable decorations like tea sets, fine china, and ceramic statues] But Tommy what if I hit something?

Tommy Pickles:
It won't be your fault my daddy set a bad example

Phil DeVille:
[in a soap opera] Lillian you know I can't live without you

Lil DeVille:
You have to Phillip tomorrow the doctors are taking out my brain

Phil DeVille:
No my Lillian do not let them remove your brain, they can have my brain instead

Angelica:
You Babies are so dumb, I'm suprised you even know which end of the bottle to suck!

Chuckie:
[as it begins to rain] We better get inside before we get wet.

Phil:
[patting his diaper] I'm already wet!

Lil:
[also Patting Diaper] Me too!

[both Giggle and run off inside]

Chuckie:
Oh, No! It's worse than a monster, It's *Angelica!*

Lil:
Look, Clown shoes!

Phil:
Yeah. Maybe they'll send in the clowns?

Lil:
Don't bother, They're here.

Didi:
[Didi is filling out a form to renew her bank membership] Blood type? Hmm... well, I think I'm negative, but I'm not positive.

Didi:
[filling out bank forms] Weight on the Moon in Kilograms.

Didi:
[after a power surge has caused a town-wide blackout] Stu, honey! All the lights in the house are off!

Stu Pickles:
I'm aware of that, Deed!

Drew:
Where's your mother?

Angelica:
She's in the shower. She says she has to wash away the stench of failure.

Drew:
Uh-oh...

Angelica:
[in Chuckie's vision a skinny and emaciated Tommy wearing tattered clothes approaches a morbidly obese Angelica who's taken over his house] I thought I told you to stay out of my sight!

Tommy Pickles:
Angelica could I have just one little crumb of cookie even if it's already been in your mouth please?

Angelica:
Sorry Tommy no can do, if I started giving you crumbs pretty soon I'd have to give them to everyone [starts to eat another cookie but drops it] and come to think of it I'll take that rattle too! [snatches it from him and throws it into a pile of toys]

Chuckie Finster:
No Tommy no, don't let her do it, stand up for yourself! [reaches for Tommy but his hand passes through him] I don't get it Tommy never lets Angelica push him around!

Chuckie's Angel:
The only reason he's so brave is that he has you around to back him up.

Chuckie Finster:
Me?, but I always get a-scared!

Chuckie's Angel:
[they look on as Angelica continues to stuff her face] It doesn't matter having a friend like you gives Tommy the guts to stand up to bullies like Angelica, without you he's just another broken down baby bumming cookie crumbs [Tommy eats the cookie Angelica dropped earlier]

[Betty is using a computer to program Stu's latest invention with the qualities of a good mother]

Computer voice:
System overload. System overload.

Betty DeVille:
Now you know how I feel, cupcake.

Didi Pickles:
[after Tommy throws his diaper on to Stu's head] Stu, get that thing off your head, You'll give Tommy ideas!

Tommy:
[after the Babies ditch Angelica for Josh] We did it! We're free!

Phil:
No more Angelica telling us what to do!

Lil:
Or taking away our toys!

Phil:
Or making us drink from the potty!

Lil:
That was your idea, Philip.

Phil:
Oh, yeah.

Chuckie Finster:
[after finding Chaz buried in the sand on the beach with only his head visible] AAAAAAAH! MY DAD'S BEEN DECAFFEINATED!

Grandpa Lou Pickles:
[to Didi] Don't you worry about Me, Didi. I've been wranglin' young 'uns since before you were born. You know what a handful your Stu is now; Well, abandon him with a faceful of oatmeal and a load in his pants...

Chuckie:
Great, we look silly, we feel sticky, and we smell like a coconut cream pie.

Angelica:
[comes running up] Look at me look at me! [runs off]

Tommy:
"Well at least we don't look like *that*...

Tommy Pickles:
[Trying to prove his bravery to Sam] Uh, One time I told Angelica to go away.

Chuckie Finster:
I just wana have a nice day at the park where i'm not ascared of stuff.

Tommy Pickles:
Well, I wanna have a fun day at the park and I can't if I'm just sittin' around picking dampylions!

Lil Deville:
[to Phil] Uh-oh, I think somebody's got their diapies in a bunch...

Tommy Pickles:
One for all and Balls are fun!

Tommy Pickles:
[after Angelica pranks them] Who gave me Chuckie's shoes?

Charles 'Chuckie' Finster, Jr.:
Who stole my glasses?

Lil Deville:
Who took my bow?

Phil Deville:
Who made me Lil?

Angelica Pickles:
[after seeing Drew prank Stu] It's gonna be lots of fun staying at your house Uncle Sucker... I mean, Uncle Stu!

Phil Deville:
[after catching Dil with plastic tools when the Reptar wagon falls of its wheels] He's got tools in his diapey!

Lil Deville:
Off with his diapey!

Tommy:
Hey, Chuckie?

Chuckie:
What, Tommy, What? I'm trying to sleep!

Tommy:
I was just thinking about green Jello.

Chuckie:
Green Jello?

Tommy:
Yeah, how do they do it?

Chuckie:
Do what?

Tommy:
Make it green.

Chuckie:
I don't know, Tommy, I'm going to sleep.

[Tommy goes to sleep but Chuckie lies awake wide eyed]

Chuckie:
How do they make it green?

Phil DeVille:
[after Tommy and Chuckie look forward to spending the long weekend together] You wanna tell them, Lil?

Lil DeVille:
Maybe you better...

Phil DeVille:
[sighs] Alright. See you guys live together, you're gonna start fighting all the time.

Tommy:
Come on, you guys. Me and Chuckie are bestest friends.

Phil DeVille:
Sure, *Now*.

Lil DeVille:
But soon, you'll start to bug each other.

Phil DeVille:
First it's just little things; like forgetting to share a toy.

Lil DeVille:
But it'll get worse; Everything they do'll bug ya.

Phil DeVille:
The way they drink their milk...

Lil DeVille:
The way they roll that ball... [bounces it on the floor]

Phil DeVille:
The way she wears her ribbon in her hair...

Lil DeVille:
The way he has a stupid, ugly duck on his shirt...

Phil DeVille:
The way her shoes are never tied...

Lil DeVille:
The way his diaper smells like poo!

Phil DeVille:
The way...

Tommy:
[cutting Phil off] Guys! Where do you get these crazy ideas?

Chuckie:
Yeah, you two guys live together without any problems. [Twins sigh]

Lil DeVille:
[Before The Princess and the Pea test] I can feel it when Phil pees through a whole bunch of blankets; does that makes me a princess?

Angelica Pickles:
No, That just makes you both... *disgusting*.

Grandpa Lou Pickles:
Since I moved into the retirement home with Lulu; I'm the happiest man alive. I've got a beautiful woman by my side and nothing but free time!

Drew Pickles:
Ah, I wish I could say the same.

[Charlotte glares at him]

Drew Pickles:
About the free time. I got called into work tonight.

[Eating animal crackers]

Tommy:
That's the fun of it, Chuckie; you never know what you're going to get until you get it.

Chuckie:
It's not fun for me.

Phil:
If you turn into a bug first, I'm gonna eat you.

[concerned because Angelica has told them they are going to turn into bugs]

Chuckie:
Don't step on me, Phil! I'm not a bug yet!

Phil:
If you turn into a bug afore me I'm gonna eat you!

Lil DeVille:
[about Tommy in the "Masked Detective fantasy"] He looks so cute sleeping like a baby.

Angelica Pickles:
He *is* a baby!

Tommy Pickles:
[after pointing Angelica's Toy wand at the shed the Dads have assembled, which immediately collapses] Chuckie, There are some things that even a baby shouldn't fool around with.

Angelica Pickles:
[after failing to make a ball disappear] Huh! You don't know the first thing about *magic*!

Chuckie Finster:
What did she mean? What's the first thing about magic?

Tommy Pickles:
I don't know.

Phil DeVille:
Hmm... Guess Angelica was right.

Angelica Pickles:
[Frustrated] You stupid little ball! Why won't you disappear?

Drew Pickles:
Is anything wrong, sweetness?

Angelica Pickles:
It won't... disappear!

Drew Pickles:
Maybe you need to sprinkle a little fairy dust on it,, peanut nose.

Angelica Pickles:
Maybe I should grind the stupid *ball* into fairy dust!

Tommy Pickles:
[after taking posession of Angelica's magic wand and pointing it] Kalamazoo! [the shed falls down]

Phil DeVille:
[When Stu as "Stuie" is fighting the robotic duck on top of the roof] Go on, Stuie! You can do it! Knock him on the head!

Lil DeVille:
Make him quack for mercy!

Stu Pickles:
[after the adults accidentally sell everything at the garage sale, thanks to the babies] My Disco Suit... My 8-tracks... My stereo...

Didi Pickles:
You know, Stu, maybe this isn't such a *bad* thing. What we really lost were material possessions and what we've rediscovered are the important things. Like family and love and other real human values.

Stu Pickles:
[Deadpan] Put a sock in it, Deed.

[Didi gasps]

Stu:
[Takes a sip of coffee and spits it back out] This coffee tastes like mud! [Looks at it] Ewww... it is mud.

Stu Pickles:
Deed, an inventor of my stature can't be worried about petty financial details. My mind has to be free to create.

Didi Pickles:
Oh. And when does an inventor of your stature intend to finish this bubble thing?

Stu Pickles:
Did Mozart's wife ask him how long it would take to finish his requiem?

Didi Pickles:
Stu, Mozart died without finishing his requiem.

Stu Pickles:
OK, bad example.

Stu Pickles:
Well, I'm an official wage slave, Deed.

Stu Pickles:
[with nose pinched] Yes, I'm calling about a car parked illegally on private property at 53 Briarcliff Place. The license plate reads 'DREW'.

Howard DeVille:
[after Didi accuses Betty of stealing her earrings] Betty, a thief? That's an absurd proposition!

Stu Pickles:
*You're* an absurd proposition!

Grandpa Lou Pickles:
[after seeing an ad for Reptar on Ice] In my day, dinosaurs didn't skate around with a bunch of ninnies in tights.

Stu Pickles:
[Whispering to Didi] In his day, the dinosaurs were real.

Grandpa Lou Pickles:
I heard that!

Harry:
Leo, you're a role model in that costume.

Leo:
[as Leo gets into Reptar costume] A mutant dinosaur that tears down cities and steals chickens, is a role model for these kids? No wonder the world's in such crummy shape.

Harry:
Yeah, but see, you got a gentle, human side too. I mean, that's why the girl falls in love ya.

Leo:
Perfect example, of how sorry this show is. The real Reptar would never have a romantic entitlement, with a girl reporter.

Harry:
"The *real* Reptar"? Leo, you've been playing this part, too long.

Leo:
Finally, something we can agree on. You something Harry, I don't know why I took this job.

[as he walks out to the rink]

Leo:
I can't skate, I don't like kids, and if you want to the actual fact,lizards give me the creeps, and that goes for your amphibians too.

Grandpa Lou Pickles:
[ see Tommy and other babies on the rink, wakes up Stu] Hey Stu. STU! Is that Tommy, out there?

Stu Pickles:
Huh, what Tommy? TOMMY, THAT'S TOMMY! [ wakes up Didi] DIDI, THE KIDS ARE OUT ON THE ICE!

Didi Pickles:
OH MY GOODNESS, WHAT ARE THEY DOING OUT THERE?

Grandpa Lou Pickles:
[browsing through show brochure] It's not in the program, that's for sure.

Prudence the Junk Food Kid:
How old are you?

Tommy Pickles:
One.

Prudence the Junk Food Kid:
Well, if you wanna live to be one and a half, you'd better get!

Tommy Pickles:
[Armed with a popsicle stick, against the Junk food kid, who is blowing a huge bubble with her gum] One more blow and I'll pop it to pieces!

Charles 'Chuckie' Finster, Jr.:
[after the Junk Food Kid hits him were her chocolate bar, leaving an imprint in his face] AAAH! I've been branded!

Kimi Finster:
[after Mack Granite, a film star decides to cast Kimi in his next film] Did you guys hear that? That man likes my piggy tails!

Chuckie Finster:
[lifts Kimi's dress] Piggy tails? All I see is a diapie.

Tommy Pickles:
[scratches his head and takes a closer look] They must be inside.

Tommy Pickles:
[the Babies think Chuckie is an alien and think he is ready to admit it] Chuckie, I don't think most babies have your problem.

Chuckie Finster:
Really? I thought everybody wet the bed once in a while.

Tommy Pickles:
Wet the bed? We thought you were talking about something else.

Lil DeVille:
Yeah, We wet the bed all the time.

Phil DeVille:
Every chance we get!

Phil DeVille:
Sometimes it takes an emergency to really know who your friends really are.

Lil DeVille:
Would you rescue me if I was caught by a snake.

Phil DeVille:
How big a snake?

Lil Deville:
[the Babies are imagining climbing a mountain] Look, Philip! I can see the top of Mount Neverest!

Phil Deville:
Alls I can see is your diapey!

Chuckie Finster:
[the twins and Tommy try to scare the sneeze out of Chuckie by pulling scary faces as he leaves the bathroom] Hi, Tommy. Hi, Phil. Hi, Lil. Why are you faces twisted up so weird?

Phil DeVille:
[sarcastically] Great! The *one* time He's NOT scared.

Betty DeVille:
[Debating over the Dr. Cathy show about parenting] It seems to make sense that kids copy what they see their parents do.

Didi Pickles:
Yeah? Yesterday, Philly wore his diaper as a hat and he certainly sure didn't learn that from me. 'Course I can't keep an eye on Howie 24/7...

Kimi Finster:
[Unaware Chuckie thinks he's allergic to her due to his constant sneezing and avoiding her] Why doesn't Chuckie want to play with me?

[the babies call Tommy Chuckie's new brother and Chuckie is jealous that Tommy gets so much attention]

Chuckie:
Now I need a new daddy and a new grandpa!

Lillian 'Lil' DeVille:
You can live with us, Chuckie. You can share our daddy and Phil would live in the woods!

Angelica:
[to Tommy] Sometimes I wish I could be you, so I could be friends with me.

Chuckie:
Guys, guys. I squished Angelica.

Tommy:
That's OK, Chuckie, you didn't mean to squish her.

Phil:
And even if you did- that's OK.

Kira:
I know what we need: Feng Shui!

Chaz:
Gesundheit.

Phil:
[after Dil eats the "Magic" Beans"] Dil eated them!

Lil:
Now We'll never get our wishies!

Phil:
[looks in Dil's mouth] Well, maybe we could could get him to spit up.

Tommy:
You guys can't do that!

Lil:
Does it all the time when no-one wants him to.

Phil:
And I don't wanna wait til they come out the other end.

Chuckie:
I'm telling you, Tommy, that Santa's a bad guy. He's always watching you, keeping track of everything you do, and then in the middle of the night he breaks into your house with a big bag full of who-knows-what.

Angelica:
It all started when the first present was given by the Pilgrims a long, long time ago. After that, everybody started giving presents... even the Easter Bunny started giving them 'til Santa slapped him with a lawsuit.

Betty DeVille:
Hey, I know! Lets rent a place up in the mountains and do it up right. A real white Christmas!

Stu Pickles:
What a great idea! We can chop down our own tree, and sing carols, and open up presents there on Christmas morning!

Didi Pickles:
I'll call the travel agent and get a cabin.

Stu Pickles:
I'll go buy some lights and ornaments.

Grandpa Lou Pickles:
I'll drink a couple of quarts of egg nog and fall asleep in front of the TV.

Chaz:
When I was a kid, Christmas was always kind of disappointing. The best gift I ever got was a rubber glove and a tongue depressor.

Tommy:
[trying to set Santa Traps] Chimley.

Chuckie:
[Incredulous] Chimley?

Tommy:
Ah, you're right. Nobody in their right mind would try to come down a Chimley.

Chas Finster:
When I was a kid, Christmas was always kind of disappointing. The best gift I ever got was a rubber glove and a tongue depressor.

Tommy:
[after he and Chuckie lost Cynthia] Angelica, we got something to tell ya'. Um, it's about Cynthia.

Angelica:
[pleading] Oh, Tommy, do you know where she is?

[suddenly violent]

Angelica:
'Cause when I find out who took her, I'll mash 'em and crash 'em and smash 'em into a million zillion blobs of applesauce!

[normally]

Angelica:
Now, what did you want to tell me?

Tommy:
[gulp] Um... nothing.

Angelica:
[Speaking in a deep distorted voice from Spike's point of view] Gooble geeble goo, waffle weeble husband [Spike turns away and whines] [suddenly angry] Wadda weebie wubbie! Don't dum dack you dinky dog! [shoves him through the fence]

Kimi Finster:
Okay, now you've gone a bit too far!

Chuckie Finster:
Yeah, he's taking our fun away!

[First line of the first season]

Stu:
Good morning, champ.

Boris:
[Boris tried the birthday cake, and is disgusted that it's carrot cake, and not the traditional chocolate cake]

Boris:
Vhat kind of cake is vis? It should have been chocolate! In ve old country, ve never had carrot cake at a birvday party!

Minka:
Vis isn't ve old country, or haven't you noticed, Mr. Chocolate Cake?

Boris:
For your information, chocolate cake is international!

Minka:
Suddenly he's "Mr. International!"

Didi Pickles:
I'm not gonna live up to those mothers on TV.

Betty DeVille:
C'mon, Deed, TV's TV; we're *real*.

Angelica Pickles:
[as a pirate, invading the babies' ship] Prepare to be bored!

Phil DeVille:
Oh, no! Looks like She's gonna bore us!

Angelica Pickles:
Aiiieee!

[swings over, missing the ship completely and lands in the water]

Tommy Pickles:
Hoist the Mistelmast! Pull up the Anchor! Swab the Poop deck!

Lil DeVille, Phil DeVille, Charles 'Chuckie' Finster, Jr.:
Poop? [all check, Lil pats her diaper]

Charles 'Chuckie' Finster, Jr.:
[seasick] I knew I shouldn't have had that second helping of strained squash...

Phil DeVille:
[as Angelica is about to make Tommy walk the plank] Be Brave, Tommy!

Lil DeVille:
Remember, a pirate's not ascared of nothin'!

Charles 'Chuckie' Finster, Jr.:
I think I'm gonna be sick.

Tommy Pickles:
Farewell, my brave crew. Wherever you may roam; Do not forget the memory of your brave captain!

Charles 'Chuckie' Finster, Jr.:
Now I *know* I'm gonna be sick...

Tommy Pickles:
Hurry mateys, or we'll all be fish food!

Charles 'Chuckie' Finster, Jr.:
[still queasy] Please don't mention food.

Charles 'Chuckie' Finster, Jr.:
Cowboys and Injuries!

Drew:
Your taxes come to $320.

Stu:
$320? How could it be?

Drew:
Oops. Forgot the decimal point. That actually comes to $32,000.

Susie Carmichael:
Hey, guys. Hey Chuckie; great balloon? Where'd you get it?

Chuckie Finster:
The Dentist.

Susie Carmichael:
Why'd they give you a balloon?

Chuckie Finster:
After what they do to your teeth, it's the least they can do.

Drew:
[while doing Taxes] We got shopping lists, candy wrappers, and what appears to be a moldy bag of fries.

Stu:
I always keep a record of everything I buu.

Drew:
That's nice. But why didn't you just... [yelling] keep the sales receipts?

Lil DeVille:
[after Cynthia falls back to earth from the balloon] How did that happen, Phil?

Chuckie Finster:
It's a Miracle!

Phil DeVille:
Or a low-flying plane.

Phil DeVille:
[the babies panic after Susie's trike goes missing] Call the police!

Lil DeVille:
Call the army!

Chuckie Finster:
Call me when it's over!

Susie Carmichael:
[after finding evidence against Angelica in the trike theft] That's the final nail in the coffee!

Lil DeVille:
[after Angelica is accused of stealing Susie's Trike] Make her pay through the nose!

Chuckie Finster:
I put a penny up my nose once.

Chuckie:
[talking to a voice under his bed] But, my dad said monsters aren't real!

Krumm:
Ha, what does he know, he doesn't sleep in this bed.

Didi:
[about sending Tommy and Grandpa to the grocery store] I hope they come back with something besides 40 boxes of Fudgy Dingaling bars.

Stu:
I hope they come back.

Steve:
[about cleaning up the spill on Aisle 4 after Tommy trashed the grocery store] Your turn, dude.

Larry:
No way, man, I had to clean up the sodas.

Steve:
Well, I just mopped up the baby powder.

Larry:
Well, I had to pick up the lobsters.

Steve:
That was at least an hour ago. It's your turn.

Larry:
Forget you.

Steve:
Forget you, too, man!

Tommy Pickles:
[in his dream searching through the refrigerator and cupboards] Bottle?, bottle?

Little Bottle:
Here I am Tommy, down here!

Tommy Pickles:
[picks him up and laughs] Bottle!

Little Bottle:
Sorry Tommy but you're way too big for me [jumps out of his hand and runs away laughing]

Tommy Pickles:
Hey! [chases the little bottle]

Mr. Tippy:
[Comes up from behind Tommy] Hey Tommy!

Tommy Pickles:
[Excitedly] Bottle?

Mr. Tippy:
No Tommy, it's time to use me now! [Tommy runs away screaming] [chases Tommy towards the edge of a cliff] Drink me!

Tommy Pickles:
No!

Mr. Tippy:
Drink me!

Tommy Pickles:
[furiously jumping up and down] No!, I want my bottle!

Big Bottle:
[a giant bottle with a superhero cape appears] Did someone say bottle?

Mr. Tippy:
Drink me!

Big Bottle:
Go away! [sprays Mr. Tippy with milk causing him to fall off the cliff] he won't bother you anymore Tommy!

Tommy Pickles:
Hey, Guys. We made it!

Chuckie Finster:
That's good, 'Cause it was getting kinda stinky in that ark, eugh.

Lil DeVille:
Yeah, and I don't think it was the Aminals, *Philip*!

Phil Deville:
Yeah. [chuckles]

[in the kitchen, Stu stirs a pot over the stove - Didi enters]

Didi:
Stu, what are you doing?

Stu:
Making chocolate pudding.

Didi:
It's four o'clock in the morning! Why on earth are you making chocolate pudding?

Stu:
Because I've lost control of my life.

Angelica:
[watching TV in a queen bed] Ah ha ha ha ha!

Stu:
[walks in with Didi] Here's your pudding, Angelica. [hands her the bowl]

Angelica:
Oh that's okay Uncle Stu, I'm not hungry anymore.

Stu:
[camera cut to outside the house] Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Bob the X-Ray tech:
[Angelica is hoisted up on a table] Hi, I'm Bob. I'll be your X-Ray Technician.

Angelica:
What are you gonna do?

Bob the X-Ray tech:
I'm going to take pictures of your insides. Say cheese!

Bob the X-Ray tech:
[a powerful X-ray beam shoots Angelica, showing her as a skeleton] It's kind of strange at first, but after a while, you get to like it.

[a beam shoots revealing Bob's skeleton]

Angelica:
[Drinks the coffee Phil and Lil gave her and spits it back out] This coffee tastes like mud!

Phil:
It is mud.

[from 'The Word of the Day']

Miss Carol:
Okay, Angelica, I'm relying on you. Tell everyone the new fun phrase. What does Miss Carol think of her kids?

Angelica:
She thinks, um, we're all little...

[Angelica mutters as her parents try to make her not say the bad word]

Miss Carol:
[loses it in anger] Okay, Angelica. If you love Miss Carol at all, you will tell us right now: *what does Miss Carol think of her kids*?

Angelica:
[inhales, shouts] She think we're all little...

[the last word is blocked from Charlotte's terrified scream]

Andrew 'Drew' Pickles:
[blocks his eyes in shock] Oh, no!

[from TV, Didi, Lou, and Stu go shocked]

Miss Carol:
That's it! Get her out! Get her out of here!

Angelica:
But that's what you said! But you said it, Miss Carol!

Miss Carol:
[hysterically, throws the microphone] You're right! You're right, you know that? You're right! I have said it before and I will say it again! [laughs evilly] *You're all little*...

[scene cuts to a screen of a test pattern as two camera workers go alarmed and look at each other]

Angelica:
See? See? She did say it!

[from 'The Word of the Day']

Andrew 'Drew' Pickles:
So, Angelica, since your fun phrase has a bad word in it, it would make mommy and me happy if you just didn't say it anymore.

Angelica:
But which word is the bad word, daddy?

Andrew 'Drew' Pickles:
Well, it's - I mean, it's the w - Look, maybe it would be best if you didn't say any of those words anymore, Angelica.

Angelica:
Is it 'we're'?

Andrew 'Drew' Pickles:
Angelica!

Angelica:
Is it 'all'?

Charlotte Pickles:
[sternly] Angelica, you are not to say that word again!

Angelica:
Is it 'little'?

Andrew 'Drew' Pickles:
[goes furious] Angelica! If you say that word one more time, we are not going to take you to be on Miss Carol's show!

Angelica:
[gasps] Oh! You mean it's...

[scene cuts to a man doing construction work near her house as Charlotte screams in fright, Angelica cries in her room on the next scene]

Angelica:
And now I can't be on the show! And I don't even know what that word means!

[she hugs Cynthia and cries again]

Chuckie:
[after Phil and Lil knock his rock collection on the ground] Look! Now they're all on the ground!

Phil:
[whispered to Lil] Didn't they *used* to be on the ground?

Lil:
What are we gonna do now, Phillip? We never catched our buggie.

Phil:
Nope, I got 'im. [Burps]

Chuckie:
So, we got a baby now.

Lillian 'Lil' DeVille:
I wished we'd a talked about it first. I don't know if I'm ready.