Snoopy: The Musical

[first lines]

Snoopy:
It's nice to know that there are some things in life that you can count on, like that leaf over there on that tree. I can go to sleep and I know when I wake up, that leaf will still be there.

Lucy van Pelt:
Santa Claus has elves to help him. What does the Great Pumpkin have? Oranges? [laughs as she walks away]

Snoopy:
A V.I.P. YES! Very important pup!

Linus van Pelt:
[all singing] Poe! Edgar Allen, American poet, born 1809.

Charlie Brown:
He wrote Cock Robin and My Darling Clementine.

Linus van Pelt:
Published Tamerlane in 1827.

Sally Brown:
If you're listening, Heaven, Heaven, help me, help me!

Lucy van Pelt:
She's gonna ask us something, on Edgar Allen Poe. I just know, I just know that any minute now...

Sally Brown:
She's gonna call on me and ask me something I don't know.

Snoopy:
[reading his letter from the publishing company where he sent his story to] Dear Contributor: We are returning your stupid story. Give up! You are a terrible writer. Why do you bother us? We wouldn't use one of your stories if you paid us. Drop dead! Never send us another story! Get lost! Signed, the Editors. [sighs] It's just a Xerox form. But tomorrow, we start on a trilogy!

Charlie Brown:
[reading a letter to Snoopy about his promotion to head beagle] Well, I'll be. [hands the letter to Linus, who also reads it]

Linus van Pelt:
Well, I'll be!

Charlie Brown:
Who else do you know whose dog's just been promoted to head beagle?

Lucy van Pelt:
Head beagle? That stupid dog can't be promoted to head beagle! He'll bring ruination upon the country! He'll destroy us all! He's inept, he's incompetent, he's...

Snoopy:
Hmph! If you don't mind, the head beagle would like to be alone to prepare his acceptance speech! [hops off his dog house and kicks it]

Charlie Brown:
I recognize that kick. That's the kick of someone who'd like to be alone to prepare his acceptance speech.

Snoopy:
I don't think that's an unreasonable request.

Charlie Brown:
And considers that a reasonable request.

Lucy van Pelt:
Weird! [She, Linus, and Charlie Brown leave]

Snoopy:
[proudly] Just think - head beagle! I wish I knew where Mom was. Beautiful moments are meant to be shared.

Snoopy:
There are a lot of things that the round-headed kid and his friends do that I don't quite understand. I've noticed lately, that he and the one they call Peppermint Patty, spend a lot of time sitting under that tree over there. I wonder what they talk about?

Patricia 'Peppermint Patty' Reichardt:
Do you think you'll ever get married, Chuck?

Charlie Brown:
Oh, I suppose so. Just about everyone does.

Patricia 'Peppermint Patty' Reichardt:
[holding Charlie Brown's hand] Well, what kind of girl do you think you'll marry?

Charlie Brown:
Well, I always kind of hate to talk about it, because I'm afraid, it-it might sound silly. But I like the kind of girl who would call me 'poor, sweet baby'.

Patricia 'Peppermint Patty' Reichardt:
'Poor, sweet baby'?

Charlie Brown:
Uh-huh. If I was feeling tired, or depressed, or something, she'd cuddle up close to me, kiss me on the ear, and whisper: "Poor, sweet baby".

Charlie Brown:
It must be nice to be believed in.

Snoopy:
It is.

Linus van Pelt:
Wouldn't it be wonderful if everybody believed in everybody?

Charlie Brown:
Beginning with me.

Snoopy:
I spend a lot of my time lying here on the doghouse. That's because the round-headed kid and his friends spend a lot of their days in school. I often wonder what they do there all day.

Snoopy:
Sit up, lie down, roll over, play dead? What I need is a change. My life has become a bore. Everything's the same, day in, day out. I need - a change.

Patricia 'Peppermint Patty' Reichardt:
What? Yes, ma'am? The answer's 5. 8? 83? How would it be if I spell 'Mississippi'?

Snoopy:
[after Woodstock crashes into a wall, off screen] Either Woodstock is a lousy flyer, or his blood sugar is low.

Snoopy:
What a beautiful day this is, Woodstock! [Woodstock chuckles, then Snoopy] Y-y-yes, the clouds are beautiful. Look at all those different shapes.

Lucy van Pelt:
May I ask you something? Did the Great Squash ever show up? [walks away]

Linus van Pelt:
It's pumpkin! [sings] I'll never wait for him again until... next... year!

Snoopy:
[typing] I... T... IT! Sometimes we writers take hours finding exactly the right word.

Snoopy:
Sometimes, when you're a great writer, the words come so fast you can hardly put them down on paper.

Charlie Brown:
Do falling leaves make you sad?

Lucy van Pelt:
Absolutely not. If they want to fall, I'd say "Let 'er fall." In fact, falling leaves are a very good sign. It's when you see them jumping back *onto* the trees that you're in trouble.

Sally Brown:
[to Linus] See that leaf falling? This happens every year. This is known as one of the cycles of nature. There's a lesson to be learned from this. Do you know what it is?

Lucy van Pelt, Linus van Pelt, Sally Brown, Patricia 'Peppermint Patty' Reichardt, Snoopy:
Well, what do you see, Charlie Brown?

Charlie Brown:
I was going to say a horsie and a duckie, but I changed my mind.

Lucy van Pelt:
You know, if you use your imagination, you can see all sorts of things in the clouds. What do you see, Charlie Brown?

Charlie Brown:
Well...

Charlie Brown:
I have never seen the sky as blue as it is today.

Lucy van Pelt:
Oh, I have. I remember back on July 14th, 1980, the sky was really blue. Oh yes, it was much bluer that day. And then I also remember on September 2nd, 1981, the sky was a very deep blue, and on June 1st of the very next year, the sky was...

Charlie Brown:
I can't stand it. I just can't stand it.

Linus van Pelt:
If I were to bring a TV dinner to school tomorrow, would I be allowed to use one of the ovens in the cafeteria to heat it up? [we hear a trombone, which is Miss Othmar's disapproval] I see.

Sally Brown:
"Columbus Day" by Sally Brown. This is my report.

Charlie Brown:
I see.

Sally Brown:
Columbus Day was a very brave man. He wanted to sail around the world. The queen said, "I can give you three ships, Mr. Day."

Charlie Brown:
Good luck.

Sally Brown:
Thank you.

Lucy van Pelt:
[to the teacher] You're what? You're giving me a Z? A Z is not a grade, it's sarcasm! [to Linus] Don't you say a word!

Snoopy:
I, too, could've gone to school and become educated. I could've studied "The Odyssey", and "Lord Jim", and "Bleak House". But just because I'm a dog, they say I can't go to their stupid school. On the other hand, when they need a shortstop, then they don't seem to mind that I'm a dog. In fact, being a dog can sometimes be a distinct advantage.

Lucy van Pelt:
Wouldn't it be great to have your whole life to live over if you knew then what you know now?

Snoopy:
[singing] I'm gonna be the Big Bow Wow. Wait'll they see the old dog now. Stealing the show, my mom wouldn't know her pup!

Snoopy:
[singing as he types] It, it, it, it... it was a dark and stormy morning... oh...

[rips the paper out]

Snoopy:
pat, flat, trite!

[puts in another sheet and tries again]

Snoopy:
It was a dark and stormy evening... [lightning flashes] It was a dark and stormy night, night? Right! When suddenly a shot was heard... a shot was fired? When suddenly a shot rang out! [gun shot] Rang out? Inspired! A door slammed, the maid screamed...

[Woodstock screams]

Snoopy:
That's building suspense... when suddenly, a pirate ship appears on the horizon! [some water douses Woodstock] Appears? Appeared... past tense! While millions of people were starving, while millions of people were starving, while millions of people were starving - what? The kiiiiiiing lived in luuuuuuuxury-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-yyyyyyy!

Snoopy:
[singing as he types] A light snow was falling, and the little girl... small? No little, no small, no - ! The little girl, with a tattered shawl, had not sold a flower all day. [speaking] Should she be selling matches? No, flowers. [singing] A violet, let's say, she had not sold a vi-o-let all day!

Snoopy:
[singing as he types] At the very moment, a young intern was making an important discovery. The mysterious patient in Room 23 had suddenly awakened. She moaned softly. Could it be? That she was the sister of the boy in Kansas, who loved the girl with the tattered shawl, who was the daughter of the maid, who escaped from the pirates! The intern frowned. That has a good ring to it!

[we hear a dinging sound]

Snoopy:
See how neatly it all fits together?

Charlie Brown:
What about the king?

[Snoopy glares at him as Charlie Brown turns red]

Ensemble:
[singing; last lines] And when all those people believe in you; deep enough and strong enough believe in you; hard enough and long enough, it stands to reason you, yourself will start to see what everybody sees in you. And maybe even you, can believe in you, too.

Snoopy:
[singin] Bigger than Rin Tin Tin and Lassie, Bigger than Benji, twice as classy. Let 'em eat steak, It's time that I take, My booooooooow! [spoken] Yes sir! [singing as he starts prancing offstage] Sandy can throw in the towel. Snoopy, it's your night to howl. Now I'm the Biiiiiiig Bow Wow, Wow, Wow, Wow, Wow, Wooooooooow! Oh yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah!