The Boys Club

Eric:
This is the rashest thing that's ever happened to us before.

Kyle:
Right, what are we even talking about this for?

Brad:
Why don't we just go home?

Eric:
The guy's a f***ing fugitive, man.

Brad:
Great. I hate this, you realize that?

Eric:
What? What do you hate?

Brad:
Yeah, O'Leary's. The guy said it's the police they're after. So why don't we just not do this OK? Are you even listening to me?

Eric:
No.

Kyle:
Look at this thing.

[Kyle, Brad and Eric see a old car]

Brad:
What does it say about him? I guess he was a little bit disappointed.

Kyle:
C'mon he's a cop Brad, we got to help him.

Brad:
We don't... we don't even know they guy, I mean, we might be accomplices. Kyle, the guy's been shot. He needs real medical attention, I mean we could have a real doctor go down there and no one would know the difference.

Eric:
What? Look you heard what he said right? The only thing he's got is us. Us three, our shack, our f***ing sh*t, OK? Alright? Let's go Kyle.

[They start to push the car]

Eric:
One, two, three.

[Brad stops pushing the car]

Kyle:
This doesn't have to be a big deal Brad, we pushed the car so what?

Eric:
Here we go, Bradley, are you in or are you out? Hun?

Liquor Store Manager:
I said you'll have to leave or we'll call the police.

Kyle:
Oh, relax OK?

Liquor Store Manager:
That's it Barney, call the police.

Eric:
Yeah, Barney cuz you got first big guy? Hey ah, do you like this? *Points to the bottle of whine*

Liquor Store Manager:
Put the bottle back, sir.

Luke Cooper:
They're good guys, but no one cares. Your friends, they don't care, they're good guys but they really don't care if you're a pilot. Your school they don't care, your family, it sounds like they want you to fail, so why care about them, why care what they think?

Kyle:
I don't know.

Luke Cooper:
No one cared about me when I grew up; I can tell you that. You know what I learned about the world? You do unto others, you eat what you kill and that's what life is.

Kyle:
You're not a cop are you?

Luke Cooper:
Your friends say that?

Kyle:
No, no one just... just me kinda.

Kyle:
[after Megan runs out of the clubhouse because Luke tried to sexually intimidate her] Megan!

Megan:
Get away from me!

Kyle:
Megan, stop please!

Megan:
Go back to your pig friends Kyle!

Kyle:
Look, I'm so sorry, I don't know how...

Megan:
*Emotional voice* You just stood there! You didn't do anything! I should call the cops for that!

Kyle:
No, no, no! You can't call the cops! I know we deserve it!

Megan:
You know what? Hell, my friends were right about you. You're a big loser like your whole family!

Kyle:
*Gasps* Megan! I don't know what that was! I...

Megan:
F*** off, Kyle!

Kyle:
*Shouting to Eric, Brad and Luke* You guys happy now?

Kyle:
Did anything come?

Kyle's Dad:
Like what?

Kyle:
Dad, the test results, whether I got in, It's coming any day.

Kyle's Dad:
Starting your line pilot exam.

Kyle:
*Scoffs* Yeah, maybe.

Kyle's Dad:
Well, I pulled double-down at the hanger and I come home and i see that none of ya's has even picked up uh even a finger to help me out, out here but that's OK, I'm used to that. But unless your school takes monopoly money, your working for me this summer, boy. You uh, wanna lean about air plains, I'll teach ya about air plains, you can start with the engines.

Jake:
Beep Beep. You going home?

Kyle:
D*ckhead friend ripped us off. Tell him to give us our booze back.

Jake:
Simon, give these children their alcoholic beverages back.

Simon:
Catch, boys. [Simon throws the beer over the car, it hits the gravel and shatters]

Jake:
I did my part. Listen, tell daddy I'm not gonna be home for dinner cuz uh, he's on the rag. Kay?

Kyle:
Yeah well, I'm not going home either.

Jake:
Whatever. That's a good idea.

Jake:
Let's motor.

Kyle's Dad:
Well, whats your problem?

Kyle:
Guess what? Congratulate me.

Kyle's Dad:
*Scoffs* We've talked about that about 20 times didn't we?

Kyle:
Wrong. They didn't accept me. But you didn't know that did you? You didn't even read it did you?

Kyle's Dad:
Kyle, I just didn't want you to be disappointed.

Kyle:
Oh, Jesus, thank you f***ing so much, thank you!

Kyle's Dad:
Hey! You be careful mister.

Kyle:
You were so sure right Dad? I almost got in. They want me to take the test again. Guess that never happened to you huh?

Kyle's Dad:
Kyle?

Kyle's Dad:
*Grumbles*

Jake:
Ya know, you're like a professional f***ing a**hole!

Kyle's Dad:
Kyle? Come back. Kyle?

Jake:
Just keep on going Kyle!

Kyle's Dad:
While he does that you get roughed up a little bit is that ok?

Jake:
You big man? What you gonna shove me around? Huh c'mon you think i f***ing care?

Kyle's Dad:
Oh what?

Jake:
*Makes ninja sounds* C'mon! Lets go! *makes ninja sounds*

Kyle's Dad:
*Kyle's dad shoves Jake to the ground*

Brad's Mom:
Bobby, come and get your supper.

Bobby:
See ya later.

Kyle:
OK see ya Bob.

Eric:
No, he's a f***ing cheese sandwich. I mean, he sucks about this, he suck's about that, he suck's about everything!. And now the bullets! He can't even protect himself!

Kyle:
He isn't a cop eh? Yeah, he told me.

Eric:
What?

Kyle:
Don't tell Brad.

Eric:
He told you?

Eric:
[Mutters] Oh, we're in sh*t.

Eric's Father:
Eric, come over here please?

Officer Cole:
You too sir!

Eric:
Dead, we're dead, we're diffidently dead, we're dead, we're dead.

Kyle:
OK, what are we gonna do?

Eric:
We're gonna say it was as stupid as hell right?

Brad:
Kyle! Kyle, I am not going back there!

Eric:
Kyle! The f*** happened? Where's the f***ing car?

Brad:
Shut up!

Brad:
Kyle, are you OK?

Kyle:
Yeah.

Eric:
We're getting a car! My Mom's car! We'll get my Mom's car!

Brad:
Shut up!

Eric:
We'll f***ing get my Mom's car!

Brad:
Kyle!

Eric:
[to Brad] He's gonna kill him a**hole!

Brad:
Yeah! He's gonna kill all of us a**hole! Do you understand?

Kyle:
Guys! I'm just trying to think OK?

Eric:
You weren't there! He f***in' shot em!

Kyle:
[Yelling] Guys I'm trying to think OK?

Eric:
What the f***? What the f*** is happening?

Brad:
That's it! I'm calling 911. We're getting the cops in here and I'm...

Eric:
[Eric grabs Brad] You f***ing think he wants to hear that? Huh? You think he wants to hear that? You don't care if his brother dies do you?

Brad:
I'm not the one who brought the bullets now did I? F***ing punk!

[Eric and Brad fight on the ground]

Brad:
[to Eric] You are a very average, boring stupid guy! With a big mouth and I don't respect you and I never have!

Eric:
F*** you, you a**hole!

Kyle:
[to Eric] Your old man has a gun?

Brad:
Eric...

Eric:
Yeah! He's got a box of em' in the closet!

Brad:
OK, why does somebody ask for bullets? To shoot bullets. At what? People. What are we? 5?

Eric:
[Sarcastically] He's a cop, smart guy. I mean he's gotta have some sort of protection.

Brad:
So we have to get involved in it? Look, If anyone gets hurt now, it's because of us. Or you to, cuz' I'm out of this.

Kyle:
Wait! We'll-we'll just tell him we couldn't get it.

Eric:
What? Alright fine, OK I-I don't even care anymore.

Brad:
Eric, I'm right this time.

Eric's Mother:
Hi Eric! Back from the library?

Eric:
Hi Mom.

Kyle:
[Whispers to Eric] Catching up on some school Eric?

Eric:
Yeah well, what she doesn't know can't get us in a lot of sh*t!

Eric's Mother:
[to Eric] Study hard?

Eric:
[Innocently] Yeah! Chemistry is really fascinating Mom.

Eric's Mother:
We're proud of you, honey.

Eric:
[Nervous laugh]

Kyle:
Simon, over here!

Eric:
Kyle, what's he-?

Kyle:
Simon, you got it right? [Referring to the beer]

Simon:
Yes, thank you.

Eric:
Oh, big surprise.

Kyle:
Oh, c'mon don't be an a**hole, just give us our booze!

Simon:
*Scoffs*

Simon:
What are you gonna do about it huh? You gonna fight me for it? Huh? You wanna come and get it ill give it to you huh? Come and get it!

[Simon pushes Kyle]

Simon:
C'mon!

Simon:
[Talking to Brad] What about you? What are you gonna do about it?

Brad:
[Mutters to Kyle and Eric] Let's go.

Kyle:
[to Luke] Look who's in charge now! See how this works, you motherf***er?

Eric:
Guys!

Kyle:
Not so f***ing tough anymore are ya!

Eric:
Kyle! Kyle! Kyle! C'mon! Kyle!

Kyle:
[to Luke] Look at me! This gun's what it's all about, you filthy f***!

Eric:
[Softly] C'mon Kyle.

Luke Cooper:
So what? Use it.

Eric:
[to Kyle] Don't do it, man. Kyle!

Luke Cooper:
Use it.

Eric:
C'mon, Brad.

Brad:
Kyle, Don't do this, man. Kyle.

Luke Cooper:
Isn't she a good girl, boys? [laughs]

Kyle:
What the hell are you, man? Big secret f***ing hiding place here!

[Kyle throws the news article about Luke]

Kyle:
It's a f***ing nightmare!

Luke Cooper:
What are you reading Brad?

Eric:
Hey Megen!

Megan:
Hey Eric!

Eric:
This is my uncle from Michigan. Weird huh?

Luke Cooper:
I'm Luke. Nice to meetcha.

Megan:
[Nervously] Nice to meet you too.

Megan:
Um, Kyle didn't tell me to come here or anything. I'm just sorta crashing it. [laughs] [to Brad] Hey you're Brad, right?

Brad:
Yeah. Actually we met when...

Kyle:
So what do you think?

Megan:
What do I *think*? Um, do you really wanna know?

Brad:
Hahaha!

Kyle:
Just being a smart ass.

Luke Cooper:
Just being a smart ass. Yeah, well everybody's a smart ass every now and then. We won't hold it against ya Megan.

Luke Cooper:
Hey, guys, I mean to not cause any trouble but, since when do we let women in here?

Eric:
Haha! Good point!

Megan:
I don't know, those girls on the wall there, they seem welcome enough.

Luke Cooper:
They're different. Look at what they're wearing.

Eric:
Yep! No women. Unless those women are wearing no tops.

Megan:
Eric, That's SO mature.

Eric:
Actually, Megan those the rules. Right guys?

Luke Cooper:
Those are the rules.

Megan:
Well, If those are the rules, guess I better follow the rules eh?

Eric:
Now we're talking! Take it off!

Megan:
Woah!

Brad:
I actually thought she was gonna do that.

Megan:
Yeah, you know what? That's because you're drunk. and whoa, so am I... just shouldn't have gotten up like that.

Luke Cooper:
How at this point, am I gonna shoot anybody?

Brad:
No.

Luke Cooper:
No. We're just sitting around and talking. So why have a loaded and cocked gun? You push this and out pops the cylinder.

Kyle:
Then you use the ejector rod right?

Luke Cooper:
Very good. You use the ejector rod.

Luke Cooper:
But the most important thing I wanna teach you boys, is that you never *ever* point a gun at *anyone* or yourself even if you think it's unloaded, you don't look don't the barrel when your cleaning it you just don't do it. But for me it's a little different. [Luke c*cks the gun and points it to his head] I'll do it. Cause I *know* that there is no bullets in this gun. I just know it. What are they gonna do? Pop into the gun out of nowhere? Just by f***in' magic? No. So I'm not scared. Cause it's bullshit. [Luke pulls the trigger the gun doesn't go off, and Luke smiles] Cause it's an empty gun. Huh. that's an example of what not to do i did it this once to prove a point.

Luke Cooper:
[Luke is talking on Kyle's Dad's phone] I know where I am. What are you telling me? Kyle! Come out here for a second! What? That was along time ago! Oh, gimme a break! Wait a second. [to Kyle] I'm thinking tonight. Can you help me?

Kyle:
Yeah. sure.

Eric:
[Inside the clubhouse] It had to look like a break in Brad. I mean what was he supposed to do?

Brad:
Yeah, but your own dad's car?

Eric:
Oh, fuss...

Kyle:
So- Whats your point?

Brad:
I don't know its just- it's weird. It's something Jake would do.

Kyle:
Jake didn't do it, I did it. He pissed me off. F*** off Brad, I don't care.

Eric:
Hey, hey, relax OK guys? Alright?

Luke Cooper:
[Luke is outside talking on the phone distantly] I've had a radio all day, I haven't done it. F*** you. Wait, its the battery. Can you hear me? OK, f*** you. Now you hear me clear that time? Listen, now your cutting off, Betty? Betty hello? [Luke starts banging the phone on a old tire wheel] F***! F***! F***!

Brad:
[to Kyle] He just trashed you dad's phone. Not kidding about ten times.

Luke Cooper:
[Luke comes inside the clubhouse] Uh, sorry this things uh, busted. You boys stay out late tonight? Just get me to the road. Can't stay here.

Kyle:
No problem.

Luke Cooper:
Need a road map. Gotta swipe a car. This is it boys.

Luke Cooper:
What are you doing?

Megan:
What?

Luke Cooper:
Go ahead.

Megan:
Oh you mean ta- yeah. Yeah, right.

Luke Cooper:
We've outlined the rules. Very specifically. Women have to take off their tops. Right boys?

Megan:
That's uh, pretty funny.

Eric:
Go ahead.

Brad:
Why?

Luke Cooper:
Brad.

Megan:
Ok, Hold on, are you some kind of pervert or something?

Kyle:
Ok, Lets say we talk about something else hey guys?

Eric:
Yeah. Yeah.

Megan:
No. You know what Kyle? I-I think I'd better go. Ok? I'm just gonna go.

Kyle:
Luke, c'mon she's my friend.

Luke Cooper:
Sit down. Look at me Megan. Look at me. Do you see how I'm not laughing?