The Departed

Frank Costello:
I don't want to be a product of my environment. I want my environment to be a product of me. Years ago we had the church. That was only a way of saying - we had each other. The Knights of Columbus were real head-breakers; true guineas. They took over their piece of the city. Twenty years after an Irishman couldn't get a f***ing job, we had the presidency. May he rest in peace. That's what the n*ggers don't realize. If I got one thing against the black chappies, it's this - no one gives it to you. You have to take it.

Frank Costello:
When you decide to be something, you can be it. That's what they don't tell you in the church. When I was your age they would say we can become cops, or criminals. Today, what I'm saying to you is this: when you're facing a loaded gun, what's the difference?

Frank Costello:
I got this rat. This...gnawing, cheese-eating f***ing rat.

Frank Costello:
The cops are saying he's a cop. So I won't look for the cop. Are you soft, Fitzy? When I tell you to dump a guy in the marsh, you dump him in the marsh. Not where some guy from John Hancock goes every Thursday TO GET A F***ING BLOWJ*B! [Fitzy laughs, Frank hits him with his hat] DON'T LAUGH! THIS AIN'T REALITY TV!!!

Captain Ellerby:
[to Colin Sullivan] Marriage is an important part of getting ahead. It lets people know you're not a homo. A married guy seems more stable. People see the ring, they think 'at least somebody can stand the son of a b*tch.' Ladies see the ring, they know immediately that you must have some cash, and your cock must work.

Mr. French:
Do you know me?

Costigan:
No. No.

Mr. French:
Well, I'm the guy who tells you there's guys you can hit and guys you can't. Now, that's not quite a guy you can't hit, but he's almost a guy you can't hit. So I'm gonna make a f***in' ruling on this right now: you don't f***ing hit him. You understand?

Costigan:
Yeah, excellent. Fine, fine. Fine.

Mr. French:
I f***ing know you. I know your family. You make one more drug deal with that idiot, f***ing cop-magnet of a cousin and I'll forget your grandmother was so nice to me. I'll cut your f***ing nuts off. You understand that?

Costigan:
Yeah. Yeah, I do.

Mr. French:
What are you drinking?

Costigan:
Cranberry juice.

Mr. French:
What is it, your period? Get him a cranberry juice.

Queenan:
Do you know what we do here? My section?

Costigan:
Sir, yes, sir. I have an idea...

Dignam:
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let's say you have no idea and leave it at that, okay? No idea. Zip. None. If you had an idea of what we do, we would not be good at what we do, now would we? We would be c*nts. Are you calling us c*nts?

Queenan:
[resigned] Staff Sergeant Dignam has a style of his own. I'm afraid we all have to get used to it.

Dignam:
Your f***in' family's dug into the Southie projects like ticks. Three-decker men at best. You, however, grew up on the North Shore, huh? Well, la-di-f***in'-da. You were kind of a double kid, I bet, right? Huh? One kid with your old man, one kid with your mother. You're upper-middle class during the weeks, then you're droppin' your "R"s and you're hangin' in the big, bad Southie projects with your daddy, the f***in' donkey on the weekends. I got that right? [Costigan does not answer] Yup. You have different accents? You did, didn't you? You little f***in' snake. You were like different people.

Costigan:
You a psychiatrist?

Dignam:
Well, if I was I'd ask you why you're a Statie making 30 grand a year. And I think if I was Sigmund f***in' Freud I wouldn't get an answer. So tell me, what's a lace-curtain motherf***er like you doing in the Staties?

Costigan:
Well, "Families are always rising and falling in America", am I right?

Queenan:
Who said that?

Costigan:
Hawthorne.

Dignam:
Pfft! What's the matter, smart ass? Don't know any f***in' Shakespeare?

Dignam:
This is incredible. Who put the f***ing cameras in this place?

Surveillance Guy:
Who the f*** are you?

Dignam:
I'm the guy who does his job. You must be the other guy.

Costello:
Have a seat, Bill. Do you know John Lennon?

Costigan:
Yeah, sure, he was the president before Lincoln.

Costello:
Lennon said, "I'm an artist. You give me a f***ing tuba, I'll get you something out of it."

Costigan:
I tell you Mr. Costello, I'd like to squeeze some f***ing money out of it.

Costello:
Smart mouth. Too bad. If you'll indulge me--

[Gwen walks through]

Costello:
Now what?

Gwen:
Choir practice.

Costello:
Choir practice. The point I'm making with John Lennon is: a man could look at anything, and make something out of it. For instance, I look at you and I think, "What could I use you for?"

Costello:
You know, if your father were alive, and he saw you here sitting with me, let's say he would have a word with me about this. In fact, he'd kill seven guys just to cut my throat, and he could do it. Which is maybe something you don't know about William Costigan, Sr.

Costigan:
So he never? I mean, never?

Costello:
No. He kept his own counsel. He never wanted money. You can't do anything with a man like that. Your Uncle Jackie, he also would kill my entire f***ing family if he saw me here with you. And I think about this.

Costigan:
[confused] So what the f*** are we talking about here?

Costello:
Did you ever think about going back to school?

Costigan:
School? [laughs] All due respect Mr. Costello, school is out.

Costello:
[annoyed] Maybe someday you'll wake the f*** up.

Lazio:
Do you have anyone in with Costello presently?

Dignam:
Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe f*** yourself. My theory on Feds is, they're like mushrooms: feed them sh*t and keep them in the dark.

Madolyn:
What do you expect coming in here?

Costigan:
I have to come here.

Madolyn:
I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?

Costigan:
You want the truth? Valium.

Madolyn:
You know if you lied, you would have an easier time getting what you wanted.

Costigan:
What does that say about what you do for a living?

Madolyn:
I just think we should have a few more meetings before we even talk about prescriptions.

Costigan:
Look... look, I'm having panic attacks, alright? The other night I thought I was having a f***ing heart attack. I puked in a trash barrel on the way over here. I haven't slept for f***ing weeks.

Madolyn:
Is that true?

Costigan:
Yeah, that's true. Alright? I said it was f***ing true. I want some f***ing pills and you're gonna what? You're gonna close my file? Is that what you're going to do?

Madolyn:
No, I didn't close your file. I--

Costigan:
I thought I was supposed to tell the truth here, if only f***ing here!

Madolyn:
You are! You are!

Costigan:
Christ. I mean, a guy comes in here against every, every instinct of privacy and self-reliance he has and what do you do? What do you do, huh? You send him off on the street to score smack, is that what you do? You're f***ing ridiculous!

[Madolyn hands Costigan some Valium]

Costigan:
[picking up the pills] Two pills? Great. Why don't you just give me a bottle of scotch and a handgun to blow my f***ing head off! Are we done here with this psychiatry bullshit?

Madolyn:
You know what? You can leave!

Costigan:
What the f*** did I just put myself through? I'm f***ing out of here. And what if that was a legitimate threat? Think about it, f***ing hotshot!

Costigan:
You're seventy f***ing years old. One of these guys is going to pop you. As for running drugs, what the f***. You don't need the pain in the ass, and they're going to catch you. And you don't need the money.

Costello:
I haven't "needed the money" since I took Archie's milk money in the third grade. Tell you the truth, I don't need p*ssy any more either...but I like it. Point I'm making here is, Bill, I got this rat. This...gnawing, cheese-eating f***ing rat...And it brings up questions. You know, say, Bill, like you're the new guy...Girlfriend...Why didn't you stay in the bar that night I got your numbers? Social security numbers. Everybody's f***ing numbers.

Costigan:
Is - is there something you wanna go ahead and ask me? 'Cause I'll go ahead give you the f***ing answer, all right? Frank, look at me. Look at me. I'm not the f***ing rat, okay? I'm not the f***ing rat!

Costello:
Start with, you agree there is a rat.

Costigan:
You said there is one all right? I base most of what I do on the idea that you're pretty f***ing good at what you do!

Costello:
Sure, sure, all that aside...but you, William, what would you do?

Costigan:
Frank, how many of these guys have been with you long enough to be disgruntled, huh? Think about it. You don't pay much, you know. It's almost a f***in' feudal enterprise. The question is, and this is the only question, who thinks that they can do what you do better than you?

Costello:
The only one that can do what I do is me. Lot of people had to die for me to be me. You wanna be me?

Costigan:
I probably could be you, yeah. Yeah, I know that much. But I don't wanna be you, Frank. I don't wanna be you.

Costello:
Heavy lies the crown...sort of thing.

Costello:
How the f*** did this happen?

Sullivan:
You're an FBI informant? Are you f***ing kidding me?

Costello:
[coughs blood] Grow up! [laughing] Of course I talked to the FBI.

Sullivan:
Do they know who I am?

Costello:
I-I never gave up anybody who wasn't going down anyway. Nobody knows nothin'.

Sullivan:
Frank...Frank...Frank. Do they know about me?

Costello:
I know about you, Colin. You know I'd never give you up. You're like a--

Sullivan:
What, like a son? To you? Is that what this is about? All that murderin' and f***in', and no sons?

[Costello shoots at Sullivan, Sullivan shoots Costello in the chest. Costello falls down, shoots at Sullivan one last time before being fatally shot]

Sullivan:
Yeah, go ahead. Shoot a cop, Einstein. Watch what happens.

Costigan:
Well, what happens is the bullet will go RIGHT THROUGH YOUR F***ING HEAD!

Sullivan:
Watch what happens!

Costigan:
Why? So you can get the parade, huh? The bag pipes and bullshit? F*** YOU! F*** YOU! I'M F***ING ARRESTING YOU!

Sullivan:
That's the stupidest thing you could do.

Costigan:
(punching Sullivan with his gun) SHUT THE F*** UP!

Lies. Betrayal. Sacrifice. How far will you take it?

Underhanded

Undercover

Unrestrained

Cops or Criminals. When you're facing a loaded gun, what's the difference?

Loyalty is a lie.

Frank Costello:
Amen.

Frank Costello:
- The Church wants you in your place. Kneel, stand, kneel, stand. If you go for that sort of thing, I don't know what to do for you.

Frank Costello:
A man makes his own way. No one gives it to you.

Frank Costello:
You have to take it, Sullivan.

Colin Sullivan:
- James Joyce.

Frank Costello:
- Smart, Colin.

Frank Costello:
Who let this IRA motherf***er in my bar? [the man looks startled]

Frank Costello:
[laughs] Only kidding. How's your mother?

Man in Costello's Bar:
Oh... I'm afraid she's on her way out.

Frank Costello:
[walks away] We all are. Act accordingly. [smiles and he straightens tie]

Ellerby:
[during a conference briefing about Costello and his crew] Staff Sergeant Dignam is our liaison to the the undercover department, his undercover work is extensive. He's here to give us his report. Sergeant Dignam.

Dignam:
OK. My people are out there. They're like f***in' Indians. You're not gonna see 'em you're not gonna hear about 'em except from me or Captain Queenan. You will not ever know the identity of undercover people. Unfortunately, this shithole has more f***in' leaks than the Iraqi Navy.

Ellerby:
F*** yourself.

Dignam:
I'm tired from f***in' your wife.

Ellerby:
How's your mother?

Dignam:
Good, she's tired from f***in' my father.

Queenan:
Congratulations on passing the detective's exam, and welcome to the Special Investigation Unit.

Dignam:
Whoop-da-f***ing-do.

Queenan:
We won't be working together, that is, directly. You'll be working for Captain Ellerby, but I like to watch everybody.

Queenan:
You're a worker. You rise fast.

Staff Sergeant Dignam:
Like a 12-year-old's dick.

Dignam:
Tell me, what's a lace-curtain mofo like you doing in the staties?

Costigan:
Well, families are always rising or falling in America, am I right?

Queenan:
Who said that?

Costigan:
Hawthorne.

Dignam:
What's the matter, smart-ass, you don't know any f***ing Shakespeare?

Dignam:
Your f***in' family's dug into the Southie projects like ticks. Three-decker men at best. You, however, grew up on the North Shore, huh? Well, la-di-f***in'-da. You were kind of a double kid, I bet, right? Huh? One kid with your old man, one kid with your mother. You're upper-middle class during the weeks, then you're droppin' your "R"s and you're hangin' in the big, bad Southie projects with your daddy, the f***in' donkey on the weekends. I got that right? [Costigan does not answer] Yup. You have different accents? You did, didn't you? You little f***in' snake. You were like different people.

Billy Costigan:
You a psychiatrist?

Dignam:
Well, if I was I'd ask you why you're a Statie making 30 grand a year. And I think if I was Sigmund f***in' Freud I wouldn't get an answer. So tell me, what's a lace-curtain motherf***er like you doing in the Staties?

Billy Costigan:
Well, "Families are always rising and falling in America", am I right?

Queenan:
Who said that?

Billy Costigan:
Hawthorne.

Dignam:
Pfft! What's the matter, smart ass? Don't know any f***in' Shakespeare?

Queenan:
We have a question: Do you want to be a cop, or do you want to appear to be a cop? It's an honest question. A lot of guys just want to appear to be cops. Gun, badge, pretend they're on TV.

Dignam:
Yeah, a lot of people just wanna slam a n*gger's head through a plate-glass window.

Billy Costigan:
I'm all set without your own personal job application. Alright, Sergeant?

Dignam:
What the f*** did you say to me, trainee?

Billy Costigan:
[to Queenan] With all due respect, sir, what do you want from me?

Dignam:
Hey a**hole, he can't help you! I know what you are, okay? I know what you are and I know what you are not. I'm the best friend you have on the face of this earth, and I'm gonna help you understand something, you punk. YOU'RE NO F***IN' COP!

Queenan:
He's right. We deal in deception here. What we do not deal with is self-deception. Five years from now, you can be anything else in the world, but you will never be a Massachusetts State Trooper.

Billy Costigan:
You sure of that?

Queenan:
I'm sure.

Dignam:
Guaran-f***ing-teed. You got a 1400 on your SATs, kid. You're an astronaut, not a Statie.

Ellerby:
Yeah, but cui bono? Who benefits?

Colin Sullivan:
Cui gives a sh*t? It's got a f***in' bow on it.

Frank Costello:
I'm going to have my associate search you.

Billy Costigan:
No, no one's f***ing searching me. Searching me for what?

Frank Costello:
Contra-f***ing-band. Take your shoes off.

[French slams Costigan into a chair]

Mr. French:
Shoes.

Frank Costello:
[to Costigan] I knew your father.

Billy Costigan:
Yeah? You know he's dead?

Frank Costello:
Oh, sorry. How'd he go?

Billy Costigan:
He didn't complain.

Frank Costello:
Yeah, that was his problem.

Billy Costigan:
Who said he had a problem?

Frank Costello:
I just said he had a f***ing problem. There's a man who could have been anything.

Billy Costigan:
Are you trying to say he was nothing?

[French slams Costigan onto a pool table and continues his search]

Frank Costello:
I'm saying he worked at the airport.

Mr. French:
He's clean.

Frank Costello:
Arm.

Billy Costigan:
Arm? What f***in' arm?

Mr. French:
[French pulls Costigan to a pool table] Show me your arm. Flip it. mmhmmm, mmhmmm...

[French slams Costigan's arm on the table until the cast breaks, while Costigan screams in pain]

Frank Costello:
It makes me curious to see you in this neighborhood.

Mr. French:
[removing the cast] He's clean.

Frank Costello:
And if I can slander my own environment, it makes me sad. This, uh, regression. Plus, I don't know if it's beyond some f***ing cop prick like Queenan to pull you out of the Staties and send you gift-wrapped to me. I just can't know. I wonder what they do in that particular department, anyway.

[Costello slams on Costigan's broken arm with Costigan's boot]

Frank Costello:
[yelling] Are you still a cop?

Billy Costigan:
[in severe pain] No!

[Costello whacks his arm again]

Frank Costello:
[yelling] Swear on your mother's grave. You're still not a cop?

Billy Costigan:
[painfully] I'm not a f***ing cop!

[Costello whacks his arm again, this time re-breaking it]

Frank Costello:
[yelling] Are you going to stop doing coke deals with your jerk-off f***ing cousin?

Billy Costigan:
[weakly] Yes, yes, yes!

Frank Costello:
[patting his back] All right, all right. It's okay. You'll be be all right. Get your hand taken care of.

[throwing down some money]

Frank Costello:
I'm sorry, but it was necessary. As for our problem with Providence - let's not cry over some spilled guineas.

Frank Costello:
[Discussing Billy with Mr. French] Do you trust him?

Mr. French:
Well, these days, who's reliable?

Frank Costello:
His uncle Jackie was. I don't know...you just can't trust a guy who acts like he's got nothing to lose.

Mr. French:
I'm reliable.

Frank Costello:
Arnie, you're one in a million.

Mr. French:
Ten. Ten million.

Frank Costello:
What about your wife, Arnie?

Mr. French:
I thought she was reliable.

Frank Costello:
[Starts laughing] She wasn't!

Mr. French:
...Well, she got reliable. [Scene cuts to French strangling his wife]

Frank Costello:
I got this rat, this gnawing, cheese eating f***in' rat and it brings up questions... You know, see, Bill, like you're the new guy. Girlfriend... Why don't you stay in the bar that night I got your numbers. Social Security numbers. Everybody's f***in' numbers.

Billy Costigan:
Is there something that you just wanna go ahead and ask me? 'Cause I'll give you the f***in' answer, all right? Frank, look at me. Look at me. I'm not the f***in' rat. Okay? I'm not the f***in' rat.

[catching Sullivan off guard]

Billy Costigan:
FREEZE!

Colin Sullivan:
Hey, whoa! Put the f***ing gun down! Put the gun down. I came to talk sense into you.

Billy Costigan:
HANDS!

Colin Sullivan:
All right. Just act professional. I can get your money.

Billy Costigan:
What'd you say?

Colin Sullivan:
I can get you your money. [Costigan strikes him with his gun and cuffs him]

Billy Costigan:
You didn't come here to talk. You came here to get arrested.

Colin Sullivan:
You have f***ing tapes of what? Costello was my informant! I was a rat? F*** YOU! Prove it! He was working for me. He was MY INFORMANT!

Billy Costigan:
Shut your f***ing mouth. Come on, get up!

Colin Sullivan:
What is this, a citizen's arrest? Blow me. All right, only one of us is a cop here, Bill! You understand? No one knows who you f***ing are!

Billy Costigan:
Would you shut the f*** up?!

Colin Sullivan:
I'm a sergeant in the Massachusetts State Police! Who the f*** are you? I ERASED YOU!

Billy Costigan:
[slamming him against the wall] You erased me, huh?

Colin Sullivan:
Yeah, go ahead. Shoot a cop, Einstein. Watch what happens.

Billy Costigan:
Well, what happens is the bullet will go RIGHT THROUGH YOUR F***ING HEAD!

Colin Sullivan:
Watch what happens!

Billy Costigan:
Why? So you can get the parade, huh? The bag pipes and bullshit? F*** YOU! F*** YOU! I'M F***ING ARRESTING YOU!

Colin Sullivan:
That's the stupidest thing you could do.

Billy Costigan:
[punching Sullivan with his gun with each word] SHUT THE F*** UP! I could give a f*** if the charges don't stick. I'm still f***ing arresting you.

Ellerby:
[during a conference briefing about Costello and his crew] Staff Sergeant Dignam is our liaison to the the undercover department, his undercover work is extensive. He's here to give us his report. Sergeant Dignam.

Dignam:
OK. My people are out there. They're like f***in' Indians. You're not gonna see 'em you're not gonna hear about 'em except from me or Captain Queenan. You will not ever know the identity of undercover people. Unfortunately, this shithole has more f***in' leaks than the Iraqi Navy.

Ellerby:
F*** yourself.

Dignam:
I'm tired from f***in' your wife.

Ellerby:
How's your mother?

Dignam:
Good, she's tired from f***in' my father. Good. Today, girls, what I have for you is microprocessors. Somebody as you may already know stole 20 microprocessors from the Mass Processor Company out on Route 128. These are the kind of processors they put into computers that can put a cruise missile up the ass of a camel from a couple hundred miles away. Now get this, we get a guy working for the company two months; walks right out the front door with a box of processors on Tuesday, has a ticket booked for Florida on Wednesday, but on Thursday, he gets found in a dumpster. You know where that dirtball started his life? Southie projects.

Colin Sullivan:
What was his name? The departed?

Dignam:
Miles Kenefick. Got a job to forge U-Mass transcript. U-Mass Boston, which just happens to be-

Frank Lazio:
[interrupting] South Boston?

Dignam:
Well, you're a f***in' genius, huh! Who forged your transcript, d*ckhead?

Colin Sullivan:
Hey this guy, his old man runs the Hibernian Liquor Mart. Kenefick's.

Ellerby:
We're not here to solve the case of the missing scumbag, we're here to nail Costello.

Dignam:
Alright look. We got a guy who says he hears Costello's moving the processors to China. We set up a whole f***in' job in Pop Kenefick. You do not want to miss it if Costello takes a dump.

Ellerby:
We'd miss a lot less if you made your informants available to us at the cost of the Bureau. [Dignam scoffs]

Frank Lazio:
We're not asking for too many details. Do you have anyone in with Costello presently?

Dignam:
Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe f*** yourself. My theory on Feds is they're like mushrooms. Feed 'em sh*t and keep 'em in the dark. You girls have a good day.

Ellerby:
Normally he's a very, uh, nice guy.

Frank Costello:
[to Colin] One of us had to die. With me, it tends to be the other guy.

Colin Sullivan:
[to Madolyn] If we're not gonna make it, it's gotta be you that gets out, cause I'm not capable. I'm f***ing Irish, I'll deal with something being wrong for the rest of my life.

Captain Ellerby:
Most people wouldn't trust anybody with an immaculate record. I do. I got an immaculate record.

Frank Costello:
[Gives Billy a cellphone] Now, whenever you make a call, ask for Mikey. MIKEY! Heh...you ask for a Mikey, because there is no Mikey.

Captain Ellerby:
Please tell me those cars aren't empty. I mean, Jesus f***ing Christ, please tell me that those Chinamen's cars AREN'T EMPTY!!

Captain Ellerby:
[after punching a computer technician] YOU F***ED THIS WHOLE THING UP!!!! WHAT THE F*** DID YOU DO, YOU COCKSUCKER?!?!?! LET GO OF ME!!!! I'M GONNA RIP YOUR ARM OFF AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR F***ING ASS, YOU HEAR ME?!?!?!