The Lorax

The Lorax:
Who taught you guys how to steal a bed?

The Lorax:
[notices Pipsqueak on the Once-ler's bed] You got to be kidding me. [to another Bar-ba-loot] Can he swim? [the Bar-ba-loot shakes his head] Of course he can't swim! Hang on, Pipsqueak! I'm comin' to get ya!

The Lorax:
Look, everyone here needs the trees and you're chopping them down! So, we've got a big problem,

The Lorax:
[uses the Once-ler's toothbrush to comb his mustache] Why do you even own this? You don't have a mustache.

The Lorax:
I'm starving! What's for breakfast? [looks into the fridge to find the big Bar-ba-loot eating entire cubes of butter] Breakfast is overrated.

The Lorax:
[when the Once-ler shows the Thneed to him; laughs] You chopped down one of my trees to make that piece of garbage?

The Lorax:
[To the Once-ler] A tree falls in the way it leans. Be careful which way you lean.

The Lorax:
[when the last Truffula tree is chopped down] Well, that's it-- the very last one. That may stop you.

Audrey:
[Referring to her mural] Those are trees. Real ones. They used to grow all around here. And people said that the touch of their tufts was softer than anything, even silk. And they smelled like butterfly milk.

Audrey:
What I want more than anything in the whole world is to see a real living tree, growing in my backyard.

The Once-ler:
[After the Lorax accuses him of harming Pipsqueak after almost hitting him with a hammer] What? No! I would never hit this little guy. You, on the other hand, I would gladly pound you and your mustache into the ground!

The Once-ler:
[admiring his first thneed] Now that's a thneed! Nothing unmanly about knitting. No sir!

The Once-ler:
[After surviving the waterfall incident] Now, I've got a big day tomorrow, and I'm gonna get some sleep. [walks away, then comes back] Right after I find my bed.

The Once-ler:
[Closing How Bad Can I Be] The customers are buying, the money's multiplying, the PR people are lying and the lawyers are denying. Who cares if a few trees are dying? This is all so gratifying! How bad, how bad can this possibly be?!

The Once-ler:
[To the Lorax] You know what? You can just shut your mustache! My conscience is clear. I have done nothing illegal. I have my rights, and I intend to keep on biggering and biggering, and turning more Truffula trees in to Thneeds. And nothing is going to stop me!

The Once-ler:
[To Ted] Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better... it's not.

The Once-ler:
[To Ted; referring to the last Truffula seed] I know it may seem small and insignificant, but it's not about what it is, it's about what it can become. That's not just a seed... anymore than you're just a boy.

The Once-ler:
[opens the window for the first time as he hears the city singing "Let it Grow" and is on the verge of tears] Thank you, Ted.

Aloysius O'Hare:
[reffering to Ted] Why is he leaving town? No one ever leaves town! See what he's up to.

Aloysius O'Hare:
You listen to me, boy. Don't go poking around in things you don't understand, or I'll be your worst nightmare. I'm Frankenstein's head on a spider's body!

Aloysius O'Hare:
You've got a beautiful town here, Ted. Lots of fun stuff to occupy your short attention span. I can't think of any reason you'd ever wanna go outside of town again. Ever.

Aloysius O'Hare:
You haven't got the guts!

Ted:
So, anyway, let's just say, I need a tree. Where would I go? What do I do?

Grammy Norma:
Oh, then you know what? You'd need to find the Once-ler.

Ted:
Th-th-the what?

Mrs. Wiggins:
Mom, it's not really the time for one of your, you know, magical fables, okay?

Grammy Norma:
[laughs] That's right, I forgot. I'm old, and can't even remember to put my teeth in!

Mrs. Wiggins:
Stand down. That's not what I meant.

Grammy Norma:
No, really, I forgot my teeth. Would you be a dear and go get them for me?

Mrs. Wiggins:
[sighs] Sure, Mom.

The Once-ler:
You wanna know about trees? About what happened to them? Why they're all gone? (softly) It's because of me.

Ted:
Wait, what?

[A Whisper-ma-Phone chutes down to Ted. Ted leans in to hear.]

The Once-ler:
(shouts) IT'S BECAUSE OF ME!

The Once-ler:
(starting to explain what happened to the trees) It all started a long time ago.

Ted:
Can we start not so long ago, maybe?

The Once-ler:
Do you want a tree?

Ted:
Yes, yes.

The Once-ler:
Then it all started a long, LONG, time ago.

Ted:
[interrupting the story] Hey, hey, hey. Wait a minute.

The Once-ler:
Excuse me?

Ted:
[chuckles] Yeah. That's awesome. You know, feeding junk food to forest animals? That's great. But, uh, is there a musical number where you show me how to get a tree? 'Cause I'd love to hear that one.

The Once-ler:
Oh, yes. Right after the musical number about the kid who kept interrupting the story and was never heard from ever again. Hmm?

Ted:
Right. Got it. Proceed.

The Lorax:
Did you chop down this tree?

The Once-ler:
Uhh... No. Who did it?ǃ [gasps] What's that? [the Lorax looks back and Once-ler drops his axe on Pipsqueak the Bar-ba-loot] I think he did it.

The Lorax:
[growls] Leave! Vacate the premises! Take your axe and get out!

The Once-ler:
And who are you? [pokes the Lorax]

The Lorax:
Hey, hey! I-I'm the Lorax! Guardian of the forest. I speak for the trees. [The Once-ler stares at him] So, you're telling me, that you didn't see me magically appear out of that stump. With all the lightning and thunder and stuff. You didn't see any of that?

The Once-ler:
No, but that sounds amazing. Can I see some of that?

The Lorax:
Uhh, yeah, I could show you. But that's not how it works.

The Once-ler:
Why are you so interested in trees, anyway? Why aren't you like other kids? Break-dancing and wearing bell-bottoms and playing the Donkey Kongs?

Ted:
[laughs] Yeah. Right, right. I don't know. Uh, I just thought it might be kinda cool to have one, you know.

The Once-ler:
[knowingly] Aaah, it's a girl, isn't it?

Ted:
[scoffs] What? No!

The Once-ler:
Really? 'Cause when a guy does something stupid once, well, that's because he's a guy, but if he does the same stupid thing twice, that's usually to impress some girl.

Ted:
Hey, she is not some girlǃ She's a woman. In high school. And she loves trees. And I'm gonna get her one.

The Once-ler:
Aww. How nice to see someone so undeterred by things like reality.

Ted:
(sincerely) Thank you.

The Once-ler:
[has just been revived by the Lorax] I-I was heading into the light, and you pulled me right back, and here I am! [hugs the Lorax] You saved my life!

The Lorax:
Yeah, I did, but, you know, it's not that big a deal.

The Once-ler:
It is a big deal! Look, I almost went over that waterfall! [realizes] Wait... On my bed. How did my bed get in the river?

The Lorax:
Uh, about that, uh... actually, um... [mumbles] I put your bed in the water. [The Once-ler drops him in shock]

Aunt Grizelda:
[referring to the Lorax] So who invited the giant furry peanut?

The Lorax:
You callin' me a peanut, huh? I'll go right up your nose!

Aunt Grizelda:
Ha!

The Once-ler:
Whoa, whoa, whoa! You wouldn't hit a woman.

The Lorax:
[gasps] That's a woman?ǃ

Audrey:
[to Ted] I could just kiss you right now!

[Ted and Audrey lean in to kiss, only to be stopped by Ted's mother]

Mrs. Wiggins:
We don't have time for that!

Ted:
I dunno, we have a little time. [Audrey and his mom stare at him] You know what? Let's just go. Let's go. Forget about it.

My names Grammy Norma, I'm old and I've got gray hair and I remember when trees were everywhere, and no one had to PAY (proceeds to Grammy Norma O'Hare) for air, so I say LET IT GROW.

[Ted gets pulled up by a rope and pulley to the second floor window where the Once-ler confronts him angrily.]

Once-ler:
Who are you?! Who are you and what are you doing here?!

Ted:
I'm Ted! I'm Ted. I can't breathe. Are you the Once-ler? Oh, man.

Once-ler:
Didn't you read the signs? No one is supposed to come here. Get out of here and leave me alone! And don't let the boot hit you on the way out.

Ted:
The boot? [gets kicked by said boot from behind] Hello! Ow! Listen! People say that if someone brings you this stuff that you will tell them about trees. [gets grabbed again] No, no, no!

Once-ler:
Trees?

Ted:
Yeah, real ones. You know, that grow out of the ground? [pause] Hello?

Once-ler:
Sorry, it's just... Well, I didn't think anyone still cared about trees.

Ted:
Well, that's me. The guy who still cares. I'm here. [gets put back down] Hey! What?

The Once-ler:
You wanna know about trees, about what happened to them, (and) why they're all gone? [softly] It's because of me.

Ted:
Wait, what? [A Whisper-ma-Phone chutes down to him. He leans in to hear.]

Once-ler:
(shouts) IT'S BECAUSE OF ME! [Ted coughs] And my invention, the Thneed. It was an amazing product that could do the job of a thousand.

Ted:
All right. Sounds ridiculous, but I mean, that's cool.

Once-ler:
You're darn right it was cool! [starting to explain what happened to the trees] It all started a long time ago.

Ted:
Can we start not so long ago, maybe?

Once-ler:
Do you want a tree?

Ted:
Yes, yes.

Once-ler:
Then it all started a long, LONG time ago. [scene flashes back to the Once-ler as a young man] I was a young man leaving home.

The Lorax:
[first meets Once-ler] Hey!

[Once-ler shrieks and falls backwards]

The Lorax:
Did you chop down this tree?

Once-ler:
Uhh... No. Who did it?? [gasps] What's that? [the Lorax looks back and Once-ler drops his axe on Pipsqueak the Bar-ba-loot] I think he did it.

Lorax:
[growls] Leave! Vacate the premises! Take your axe and get out!

Once-ler:
And who are you? [pokes the Lorax]

Lorax:
Hey, hey! I-I'm the Lorax, guardian of the forest. I speak for the trees. [The Once-ler stares at him] So, you're telling me, that you didn't see me magically appear out of that stump? With all the lightning and thunder and stuff. You didn't see any of that?

Once-ler:
No, but that sounds amazing. Can I see some of that?

Lorax:
Uhh, yeah, I could show you. But that's not how it works.

Once-ler:
[condescending] Okay, um... Didn’t really happen. Oh, I know what you want! [pokes Lorax’s nose, He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a Marshmallow. Holds it out.] [baby talk] I’ve got one of these for the cutest little guy I ever saw. Yummy-yummy-yummy... [The Lorax stares at the marshmallow]

Lorax:
How dare you! Give me that! [He grabs the marshmallow. Sniffs it. It smells good] Mmm. I'm going to eat this, but I am highly offended by it.

[He plops it into his mouth. Then makes his way over to the Once-ler’s tent-house which is being supported by stakes and ropes. Kick out a STAKE. The canvas starts to sag]

Once-ler:
Whoa! What are you... Hey, Mustache! Will you stop that? [The Lorax continues circling around the tent-house pulling up stakes. He grabs his HAMMER and follows, pounding them back in.] What's your deal, man?

Lorax:
[They circle faster and faster around the tent-house, He pulling up stakes and the Once-ler pounding them back in.] Time for you to go, Beanpole!

Once-ler:
Pull them right out. Just going to put them right back in. We can do this all day.

[Until the Once-ler turns a corner and is about to bring his hammer down on Pipsqueak. The Lorax has placed him right where the stake would have been. The Lorax holds up his hand to stop the Once-ler]

Lorax:
Stop right there! Stop it! So you would hammer one of nature's innocent creatures?

[The Lorax pats Pipsqueak on the head and he happily runs offscreen]

Once-ler:
[After the Lorax accuses him of harming Pipsqueak after almost hitting him with a hammer] What? No! I would never hit this little guy. You, on the other hand, I would gladly pound you and your mustache into the ground!

[The Lorax turns to all of the watching animals]

Lorax:
Behold! The intruder and his violent ways. [To Once-Ler] Shame on you. For shame!

[Once-ler drops the hammer and hides it behind his feet. Then he sees all of the animals nodding their heads in agreement. He’s had it.

Once-ler:
All right, you know what? That's it! [Points at Lorax] You listen to me, you furry meatloaf. I'm going to chop down as many trees as I need. Okay? Newsflash! Not going anywhere! End of story. [He turns and enters his cottage. His sticks his tongue out and does Raspberries to the Lorax before slamming the door behind him! He sighs heavily, shaking his head]

Lorax:
Then you leave me no choice. [Startled, the Once-ler turns and sees that the Lorax is somehow inside with him. He points a threatening finger at the Once-ler and speaks in a spooky voice as if he’s casting a spell] If you're not gone by the time the sun sets on this valley, all the forces of nature will be unleashed upon you and curse you until the end of your days! You have been warned. [Lorax turns to make a dramatic exit, but can’t reach the doorknob of Once-ler’s door. He hops a couple of times. Finally, the Once-ler lets him out.] Thanks.

Once-ler:
Yeah, okay.

Lorax:
You have been warned.

[The Lorax storms out and slams the door, leaving the Once-ler alone in his cottage.]

Once-ler:
[has just been revived by the Lorax] I-I was heading into the light, and you pulled me right back, and here I am! [hugs the Lorax] You saved my life!

Lorax:
Yeah, I did, but you know, it's not that big a deal.

Once-ler:
It is a big deal! Look, I almost went over that waterfall! [realizes] Wait... On my bed. How did my bed get in the river?

Lorax:
Uh, about that, uh... actually, um... [mumbles] I put your bed in the water. [The Once-ler drops him in shock] I didn't mean you any harm. I just wanted to calmly float you away. Look, everyone here needs the trees and you're chopping them down! So, we've got a big problem,

Once-ler:
[Pipsqueak nuzzling at Once-Ler's feet, to the Lorax] All right, look. I hereby swear that I will never chop down another tree. I promise.

Lorax:
[To the Once-ler] Thank you. But I'm going to keep my eye on you.

Once-ler:
[After surviving the waterfall incident] Now, I've got a big day tomorrow, and I'm gonna get some sleep. [walks away, then comes back] Right after I find my bed.

Once-ler:
[screams and wakes up, a screaming Lorax also screams and wakes up, punching his nose] Ow! Okay, what are you...? Question, what are they doing here? And follow up, if I may, what are YOU doing here?!

The Lorax:
Well, after the incident last night, we found one of your socks and came here to return it. But when we got here, you were asleep.

Once-ler:
What? Exactly. And sleeping is the body's way of telling other people to go away.

Lorax:
I know, but you looked so cozy. And it was cold outside, and we just fell asleep. No harm done.

Once-ler:
"No harm done"? "No harm done"? Okay. [sees fish bathing in soap] Okay, I put my lips on those. Well, I used to, anyway. [sees a bird laying an egg] Ew. Did you just...In my bowl?!

Lorax:
[uses the Once-ler's toothbrush to comb his mustache] Why do you even own this? You don't have a mustache.

Once-ler:
Okay, that's it!

Lorax:
What? I thought we made a deal last night.

Once-ler:
Yes, we did. And I said I wouldn't chop down any more trees.

Lorax:
And I said I was going to keep an eye on you. I'm starving! What's for breakfast? [looks into the fridge to find the big Bar-ba-loot eating entire cubes of butter] Breakfast is overrated. [closes the fridge door]

Once-ler:
[strains] You know what? I got work to do. [quickly changes outfit] Yep! I got to go into town and sell my Thneed!

Lorax:
[when the Once-ler shows the Thneed to him; laughs] You chopped down one of my trees to make that piece of garbage?

Once-ler:
"Garbage"? Oh, no. Oh, no! You do not get it. This is a revolutionary product that will change the world as we know it. [He walks over to the Bar-ba-loots sleeping on the table and brushes them all off] It has a million uses! [He reaches under the table and pulls up Lou who is now wearing the Thneed as underwear] Look at this. It's a swimsuit! [Then he points to the muddy animal tracks on the floor.] Mud tracked all over your floor by uninvited guests? Well, the Thneed sure comes in handy for that! [He uses it to wipe up the mud tracks] But wait, there's more! Thanks to its all-natural microfibers, the Thneed is super-absorbent! [Then he goes to the fish swimming a glass filled with water. Shoves the Thneed into the glass. SLUUUURP! It instantly soaks up all the water, leaving the irritated fish standing in the dry glass.] It also works as a hat. [He plops the Thneed onto Lorax’s head. SPLURCH! It’s sopping wet and drips all over him. The Lorax gives the Once- ler a look] Of course, you probably want to wring it out first.

Lorax:
[He takes the Thneed off his head and throws it at the Once-ler.] Go ahead, knock yourself out. But nobody is going to buy that thing.

Once-ler:
Good to know. Well, fortunately, you are not the target market, weirdo.

[Once-ler strums his guitar.]

Lorax:
You're bringing a guitar?

Once-ler:
Oh, yeah. I got a little jingle. I'm gonna blow some minds, gonna sell some Thneeds! [He holds up the Thneed defiantly.] Yeah. [He slams the door, waking up a Swommee-Swan, who HONKS.]

[In deleted scene, The Man tosses the Thneed which lands on a nerdy teen girl's head, knocking her glasses off and letting her hair down. She slowly flips her hair with the Thneed on her head as if there was supposed to be a dramatic change to her appearance.]

Teen Boy:
Hey. Cool hat.

Teen Girl 1:
Oh, my gosh. I totally want one.

Teen Girl 2:
That thing makes me like you more.

Once-ler:
[To the Lorax] You know what? You can just shut your mustache! My conscience is clear. I have done nothing illegal. I have my rights, and I intend to keep on biggering and biggering, and turning more Truffula trees into Thneeds! [The Lorax falls backwards and hits the ground.] And nothing is going to stop me!

[Just then, in the distance, we hear a THWACK! The Once-ler and Lorax both look...and see the VERY LAST TRUFFULA TREE chopped down by a Super Axe-Hacker.]

Lorax:
[when the last Truffula tree is chopped down] Well, that's it-- the very last one. That may stop you.

Mrs. Wiggins:
Ted, I would like you to meet Mr. O'Hare, the most powerful man in town.

Aloysius O'Hare:
[Ted shocked in surprise.] There he is! Hello, Ted.

Ted:
Uh... Hi.

Mrs. Wiggins:
Isn't he clever, Mr. O'Hare? He knows his own name and everything.

Aloysius O'Hare:
You know what I would love right now, Mrs. Wiggins? A delicious cookie. Wonderful. Teddy and I'll stay here and talk.

Mrs. Wiggins:
Sure, why don't you go ahead and adopt him? I'm just kidding. That was a joke. I was just joking. I'll get your cookie.

Aloysius O'Hare:
I know you have it, Ted. So, let's put an end to this nonsense, shall we? [Ted angrily facing Mr. O'Hare] Hand it over.

Ted:
I'm sorry... I don't know what you're talking about.

Aloysius O'Hare:
Really? Well, then... I guess you wouldn't mind us checking your room.

Ted:
No, no, no!

Aloysius O'Hare:
Morty! McGurk! Find the seed!

Ted:
No, you can't go up there! Guys, this is ridiculous. Stop! Hey! No, you can't come in my room!

Aloysius O'Hare:
Find it! [O'Hare barging into Ted's room trying to find and destroy the Truffula seed.] Find it!

Mrs. Wiggins:
What is going on here?

Aloysius O'Hare:
[to Mrs. Wiggins, after she comes up stairs and what's going on] THIS DOESN'T INVOLVE YOU! Get back downstairs!

Mrs. Wiggins:
[to O’Hare] Excuse me, down there! I don't care who you are, you little crazy baby-man! Get out of my house now. This is outrageous.

Aloysius O'Hare:
Fine. Sorry. Must have been a misunderstanding. We'll be leaving now. And my apologies, Ted. You be safe. [O’Hare takes the plate of cookies with Mrs. Wiggins Holding him.]

Mrs. Wiggins:
Mind telling me what's going on here?

Ted:
The seed! Where is it?

Mrs. Wiggins:
Seed?

Ted:
Where's Grammy?

[The Once-ler, now elderly with a white mustache, reunites with the Lorax, laughing]

The Lorax:
You done good, Beanpole. You done good.

The Lorax:
I am the Lorax, I speak for the trees.

The Lorax:
[after seeing Pipsqueak take and eat a truffula fruit] Ugh, bar-ba-loots.

Ted:
[referring to Audrey; to The Once-ler] Hey, she is not some girl? She's a woman… in high school… and she loves trees, and I'm gonna get her one.

Ted:
I am Ted Wiggins, and I speak for the trees. And the fact is, things aren't perfect here in Thneedville! And they're only gonna get worse unless we do something about it! Unless we change our ways, we can start by planting this! [holds up the truffula seed]

The Once-Ler:
[He puts on a pair of work gloves and grabs a large axe] Alright, here we go. About to make a Thneed, about to change the world.

The Once-Ler:
Check it out, guys. [looks around, noticing all of the animals are gone] Where did everybody go? [shrugs, then grabs the tree by the trunk and drags it away toward his cottage]

The Once-Ler:
Little did I know that by chopping down that tree I had just summoned a mystical creature as old as time itself. The legendary, slightly annoying guardian of the forest. The Lorax.

The Once-Ler:
Oh, yeah! We're in business, baby! [closing Everybody Needs a Thneed] Mom? Hey, it's me! I told you I was going to be a success! You need to bring the whole family here right now. We're going to be rich! What? I'm going to need all the help I can get. Don't worry.

Mr. O'Hare:
[reffering to Ted] What?! Why is he leaving town? NO ONE EVER LEAVES TOWN! See what he's up to.

Mr. O'Hare:
Nobody beats Aloysius O'Hare! [the elevator shuts] What?! [grunts "Damn it!"]

Mr. O'Hare:
Bring it on, Teddy! You don't have the guts!

Mr. O'Hare:
[going after Ted and his girlfriend and grandma after the Truffula seed, through a megaphone] YOU WON'T GET AWAY WITH THIS, BOY! BANG!

Mr. O'Hare:
[last words as he sings "Let It Die"] C'mon, who's with me, huh?

e m'appelle grammy norma, je suis vieux et j'ai les cheveux gris et je me souviens quand les arbres étaient partout, et personne n'avait à payer (le produit revient à grammy norma o'hare) pour l'air, alors je dis de le laisser pousser.