The Night Before Easter

Dante:
Why do I listen to you?

Riley:
Because, my friend, when we're charged with saving the world from the forces of evil, you, you are going to be my sidekick, big guy!

Dante:
[Scoffs] You couldn't save a kitten from a tree! Plus, superheroes need money, too.

Riley:
[to Melissa, off screen] He's got a point.

Dante:
Can you imagine Batman pulling that grappling sh*t with an overdraft?

Kyle:
This whole thing tonight feels a little weird, y'know? I was trying to tell Kelly earlier about it, but, y'know, she was in her own little world.

Dante:
[to Riley] What's he yammering about?

Kyle:
[to Dante] You did see the news earlier, right?

Riley:
[to Kyle] Dude...

Kyle:
What? I know!

Dante:
What? I don't watch the news.

Riley:
Alex Sykes. The, uh, Easter Bunny guy.

Dante:
Aw, bullshit. That never happened.

Riley:
No, it happened. It was on a night... Just like tonight.

Dante:
Put a sock in it.

Kyle:
You do know what he did, don't you?

Riley:
Yeah, yeah, he escaped this morning. He's like a Houdini of serial killers.

Dante:
Now he's watching and waiting, yeah, yeah. What are the odds he'll show up here, anyway?

Kyle:
Dude, it was all over the news!

Dante:
If you two are afraid that some sad sack in a bunny costume is gonna come here and kill us all, why'd you even come?

Riley:
Free drinks?

Melissa:
Would you shut the F*** UP, Danty?

Dante:
[Dante, bewildered, to Riley] She called me 'Danty,' it's Dante!

Melissa:
Like it f***ing matters!