The Van

Dugan Hicks:
NOBODY calls Dugan a TURD!

Bobby:
[recalling how a nude take-out waitress with very large buttocks forced herself on him] Yeah, what a piece of ass.

Jack:
Yeah? How did she feel?

Bobby:
Well, let's just say she was, ah... big. All over.

Jack:
Yeah, sure.

Bobby:
Really man, I never knew love making could be so, ahem... physical.

Bobby:
There ain't a woman around who don't love the sound of a zipper comin' down...

[he barely finishes the line when the nude take-out waitress throws him on the waterbed and forces herself on him by mounting him with her very large buttocks ]

Bobby:
[after a take-out waitress praises his van] Hey, you wanna go share a joint on the waterbed?

Take-out waitress:
Waterbed? Really? I just love waterbeds.

Bobby:
It's right there in the back.

Take-out waitress:
I really don't have time for a joint. But I got some time for a... [signaling a humping motion] quickie.

Bobby:
Ah... yeah... sure.

[the take-out waitress steps out from behind the counter, making Bobby gasp upon noticing her very large buttocks on her otherwise thin body]

Dugan Hicks:
Well, what are you, chickening out, or we gotta match?

Bobby:
Yeah, I gotta match... your face and my ass.